"What do you mean I have to watch all three of them?" Xander cried. "I
distinctively
remember your descriptive tale of watching them with *two* of you! How am I
supposed
to take care of all three of them?"
Willow sighed in the phone. "Look, you're the only one. Anya has the store, me and Dawn have school, and Giles is helping Anya. You're the only one who can watch them."
"But it's my day off," Xander whined loudly.
"Xander, don't be such a baby. I have to be at school in fifteen minutes. I'll drop them off at your place."
"But-"
"Bye." Willow hung up the phone.
It was a few days after the mall incident. Almost ten o'clock in the morning. Giles had said he would watch the kids, but Anya had suddenly needed his help at the store, but not before mentioning that Xander was sitting on his butt at home.
Willow walked into the living room where she had woken the kids up and put the on the couch. Tara was almost halfway asleep again, Willow and Spike were lying on the floor watching cartoons.
"Come on, guys," Willow announced, picking Tara up. "We have to go to Xander's house. You guys are gonna stay there until I get back from school."
Spike and Buffy reluctantly came to their feet, Buffy in white footie pajamas, Spike in shorts and socks, but no shirt, and Tara in an oversized T-shirt. Willow wrapped a blanket around Tara and put a small T-shirt on Spike. Then, they set out to Xander's.
The air was foggy and there was a slight breeze in the air. Willow kept Buffy in front of her and held Spike's hand. They slowly made their way to Xander's apartment.
Willow knocked hurriedly on Xander's door. She continued knocking on his door until
Xander opened the door. When he did, before he could greet them, Tara's small body was shoved in his arms.
"Whoa, hey Will," he managed to greet her.
Willow pushed by him, leading Spike and Buffy inside.
"I'm late," she explained. "They should sleep for a little while. Feed 'em when they wake up. Feed 'em at lunch. I should be home by five. Make sure to keep them in sight at all times."
She rushed back by him and out the door, leaving him in slight daze, child in his arms. He came back to reality when he heard a small sniffle. He looked over to see Buffy looking like she's about to cry. He quickly closed the door.
"What's wrong, Buff?" he asked, laying Tara down on the couch.
After a few seconds, her whimpers turned to full-fledged sobs.
"What?! What is it?" he asked, picking her up. She continued her cries and showed no sign of stopping
Another cry soon joined Buffy as Spike plopped down on the floor and let big alligator tears run down his pudgy cheeks.
"What's with you?" Xander asked, slowly beginning to panic.
Spike's cries just became louder. He laid back against the floor and continued crying.
Xander started to panic. He took Buffy and set her down on the couch, then picked up Spike and set him down next to her.
The two's cries had woken up Tara. Xander soon found out that tears can be contagious when Tara was soon crying also.
"What'd I do?" Xander cried at the children. He almost felt like crying himself.
"Are you hungry?" he asked. He dashed into the kitchen and returned with his arms full of things ranging from cereal to fruit cake. He let it spill on the floor in front of him.
The children stopped crying, curios. They slowly climbed off the couch and surveyed the food. Spike picked up an ice cream sandwich and proceeded to eat it. Xander knew Willow would kill him if he let him eat it.
"Ah, you can't eat that," Xander said, taking the sandwich from his hands.
Spike looked down at his empty hands, and immediately started to cry again. He plopped down on the floor and started crying louder than before. The other two watched with interest, then followed suit.
Xander started to panic again. He forcfully shoved the melting ice cream sandwich in Spike's hands. The child stopped crying and eyed the sandwich. Then, with a triumphant smile, he unwrapped it and began to eat.
The other two had stopped crying and began to also grab something chocolate or had ice cream in it. Xander opened his mouth to protest, but just sighed, defeated.
"Yeah, I'm a great baby-sitter," he muttered under his breath.
He started to pick up the other food items and took them back in the kitchen, not even caring that the ice cream was melting on the carpet.
A few minutes later, after the melted ice cream and discarded wrappers were cleaned up, the three children were asleep on the couch. Xander sighed and sunk down in a chair. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
"What are you watchin'?" Buffy asked.
Xander jumped at the small voice, thinking she was asleep. "Uh, football."
"Can I watch cartoons?"
"This is the repeat of the biggest game of the year," he whined.
"I wanna watch. . .!" she started to scream.
"Okay, okay!" he yelled, holding up his hands.
She smiled as he turned the channel to Nickelodeon.
"Happy?" he asked.
She just continued watching the annoying little yellow sponge with the high- pitched voice that had a starfish for a best friend.
"Spongebob!" cried another little voice.
Xander groaned when he saw that Spike had woken up in all the channel changing.
"I gotta go to da bafroom," Buffy announced.
"What?" Xander cried. "Can't you just hold it?"
"I gotta go now."
"Can't you go by yourself?"
Buffy shook her head, making her pigtails swing over her face. "I can't unzip my pajamas."
"But. But."
"Hurry!" she cried, doubling over.
"She's gonna explode," Spike said, his blue eyes wide.
Xander jumped up from the chair and picked Buffy up and carried her to the bathroom in a hurry. He set her down on the floor and turned her back facing him.
"Okay, I'm gonna unzip your pjs, then you use the bathroom," he told her.
"Okay," she whimpered.
He gripped his eyes shut and unzipped her pajamas. He heard her pad across the linoleum and he stepped outside.
After few minutes later, she opened the door. "I'm done, Uncle Xander."
He quickly pulled her zipper up and picked her up in his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm tired."
"Good. We'll just get you in here and..."
He came into the living room and stopped short.
In the five minutes they had been in the bathroom, Spike had managed to pull out a can of paint from Xander's room and spill it on the carpet and make scribbles on the TV.
"Good God!" Xander cried.
"Finger paints!" Buffy shouted gleefully.
"No. No finger-paints, Buffy."
Her lower lip puckered out. "I want to finger paint."
She beat on his shoulder with her tiny fists. "I wanna finger-paint!"
Even though she was three, she still had the Slayer strength of about a ten year-old.
(A/N: I know she wasn't the Slayer then, but I had to put it there so go with it.)
"Ow!" Xander cried. "Stop it! Ow! Ow! Okay!"
He set her down. She ran over to where Spike was standing.
She pointed to the scribbles of paint. "Was dat?"
Spike shrugged. "I don't know. Wat dos it look like?"
She giggled. "It looks like Uncle Xander."
"What?" Xander said, coming over to them. He looked at the scribbles and lines that was supposed to be him. "I don't look like that."
"Yes, you do," Buffy squealed.
Xander sighed and looked over the blue paint spilled on the carpet. "Anya is going to kill me."
* * *
Xander scrubbed the last bit of carpet. There was still a blue tint, but that was something they could fix.
Buffy and Spike sat on towels on the dining room floor. Both of them were covered in blue paint, mostly on their hands and faces.
Tara, how had woken up a few minutes ago, was sitting on the couch watching the clean TV.
"I wanna watch TV," Buffy complained.
Xander sat up from the floor. "Well, maybe if you weren't covered in paint, you could. Just... give me a second to clean up. I'll see what I can do about the paint."
Xander glanced at the clock. It was twelve thirty. Willow had called during his cleaning to say that she would drop by for lunch, which was at one.
"Just thirty more minutes," he reassured himself as he went back to cleaning.
"This is sticky," Spike said, putting his hands together and pulling them apart. He looked over at Buffy and laughed. "Your hair's blue."
"So's yours," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Tara giggled secretively as the two's blue appearance.
"You look like Blue's Clues," Buffy squealed.
"I'm not a stupid dog!"
"Yes, you are!"
"Am not!"
"Are, too!"
"Am not!"
"Are, too!"
"Am-!"
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" Xander called, sitting back up.
Willow opened the door and stuck her head in. "Hey, gu-"
"Willow!" The two cried and ran over to her, wrapping their arms around her knees.
Tara slid off the couch and tottered over, sticking out her arms.
Slightly bewildered, Willow lifted Tara up onto her hip. "Why are Buffy and Spike blue?"
Xander shrugged.
Willow shrugged too, mocking him. "What do you mean.." She shrugged again. "..?"
Xander climbed to his feet. "I mean, they got into my paint."
"And got it all over themselves! What were you doing in all of this?"
"I was helping Buffy use the bathroom! Spike got into the paint and Buffy got into it before I could stop her!"
Willow took a deep breath. "Okay. It's okay. I've got about an hour 'til my next class. I can give them a bath. Go get the bag with their clothes in it and see if their swim suits are in there."
Xander nodded and went to check. He pulled out a pair of black swimming trunks and a pink one piece. "Got 'em."
"Good. You watch Tara while I give them a bath."
Willow handed Tara off to Xander and took the bathing suits from his hand. She led Buffy and Spike back to the bathroom and changed them into their bathing suits, knowing that if they found out she put them in the bath together naked, she would be deader than she already was.
The bathing suits didn't cover up anything that was covered in paint, so that was a plus. She turned on the water and let it warm up.
Then she grinned slightly.
"Stay right here, okay," she told them, getting up. "I'll be right back."
Willow went into the living room and grabbed her purse, which had the cameras from the mall in them. She still had a few left.
"What are you doing?" Xander asked.
She grinned. "It's Kodak moment."
Willow returned to the bathroom and thanked Goddess that they hadn't broken anything. She set the two in the tub, sat on the toilet seat, and started taking pictures.
They splashed water on each other and laughed and squealed the whole time. Willow got some good, funny pictures. One really good one was of them hugging with their faces together, smiling widely at the camera. After a while, she set the camera aside and started to wash them off with soap and shampoo. It took a few tries, but eventually the blue paint came out. She remembered to wash her legs from where they had grabbed her.
Willow wrapped a towel around the two of them and led them back into the living room.
"Go sit on the couch," she told them.
Xander got up and walked over.
"You think you can handle them for a few more hours?" she asked.
He shrugged.
She rolled her eyes. "Look, if you've got a problem, call the UC. Dawn will be getting out of school in about an hour, I told her to come here, so you'll have some help. I get out at four."
He nodded. "I think I can deal."
"Good." Willow grabbed her bag and walked to the door. "See you then."
She walked out of the apartment.
Xander turned back to the three kids.
They all grinned.
* * *
Dawn walked through the door. "Xander?"
Xander, who was sprawled on the floor, raised his head up. "Over here."
"Again!" Buffy screeched, who was sitting on his back.
"No again," Xander mumbled against the floor. "I'm all 'again' out."
Spike, who was sitting next to her, started bouncing on his back. "Again, again!"
"Not if my life depended on it."
Tara, who was sitting next to Spike, started bouncing also. Buffy soon joined in.
"Don't you guys ever get tired?" Xander whined.
"Let me guess," Dawn said, coming over to sit on the couch. "You thought that if you played some kind of game with them, they would eventually get tired and go to sleep."
"That was the plan."
Dawn shook her head in a disappointed way. "That's what happens when you send an amateur to do a pro's job."
"Just get 'em off me," he asked, not even lifting his head from the floor.
Dawn got up and removed Buffy from Xander's back.
"Hey!" she yelled.
Dawn sat her on the couch. "Sit."
Buffy pouted and folded her arms.
Dawn then lifted Spike up and sat him at the opposite end of Buffy. He scowled.
Tara was already off of Xander when Dawn turned around.
Xander slowly rolled over. "God help me."
Dawn giggled. "Anybody hungry?"
"I am!" Buffy and Spike cried.
Dawn looked down at Tara. "What about you, sweetie?"
Tara nodded softly.
"Xander, do you think you could make something? Like macaroni and cheese?"
He shrugged. "If I can get up."
"And one more thing. Why are Spike and Buffy wearing bathing suits?"
"Lots of blue paint. Willow fixed it."
"Well, they need to get out of their wet clothes. They could get sick."
"You change them. I'll cook."
"Okay. And don't forget to watch Tara."
He groaned.
* * *
About fifteen minutes later, the three kids were sitting at the dining room table, digging into some mac and cheese.
"I'm never having kids," Xander declared.
"Sure you will. Anya wouldn't have it any other way."
"I can't take care of a kid. You saw me. I wear out easily, I can't make them do what their told, I leave them in wet clothes and feed them ice cream bars for breakfast."
"You what?! No wonder their so hyper."
"I think I made my point."
Dawn brushed it off. "Don't worry about it. You're not even married yet. Worry about children after."
He sighed.
About an hour later, Willow came by to pick up Dawn and the kids.
Xander sat on he couch, thinking about marriage and kids.
TBC...
Willow sighed in the phone. "Look, you're the only one. Anya has the store, me and Dawn have school, and Giles is helping Anya. You're the only one who can watch them."
"But it's my day off," Xander whined loudly.
"Xander, don't be such a baby. I have to be at school in fifteen minutes. I'll drop them off at your place."
"But-"
"Bye." Willow hung up the phone.
It was a few days after the mall incident. Almost ten o'clock in the morning. Giles had said he would watch the kids, but Anya had suddenly needed his help at the store, but not before mentioning that Xander was sitting on his butt at home.
Willow walked into the living room where she had woken the kids up and put the on the couch. Tara was almost halfway asleep again, Willow and Spike were lying on the floor watching cartoons.
"Come on, guys," Willow announced, picking Tara up. "We have to go to Xander's house. You guys are gonna stay there until I get back from school."
Spike and Buffy reluctantly came to their feet, Buffy in white footie pajamas, Spike in shorts and socks, but no shirt, and Tara in an oversized T-shirt. Willow wrapped a blanket around Tara and put a small T-shirt on Spike. Then, they set out to Xander's.
The air was foggy and there was a slight breeze in the air. Willow kept Buffy in front of her and held Spike's hand. They slowly made their way to Xander's apartment.
Willow knocked hurriedly on Xander's door. She continued knocking on his door until
Xander opened the door. When he did, before he could greet them, Tara's small body was shoved in his arms.
"Whoa, hey Will," he managed to greet her.
Willow pushed by him, leading Spike and Buffy inside.
"I'm late," she explained. "They should sleep for a little while. Feed 'em when they wake up. Feed 'em at lunch. I should be home by five. Make sure to keep them in sight at all times."
She rushed back by him and out the door, leaving him in slight daze, child in his arms. He came back to reality when he heard a small sniffle. He looked over to see Buffy looking like she's about to cry. He quickly closed the door.
"What's wrong, Buff?" he asked, laying Tara down on the couch.
After a few seconds, her whimpers turned to full-fledged sobs.
"What?! What is it?" he asked, picking her up. She continued her cries and showed no sign of stopping
Another cry soon joined Buffy as Spike plopped down on the floor and let big alligator tears run down his pudgy cheeks.
"What's with you?" Xander asked, slowly beginning to panic.
Spike's cries just became louder. He laid back against the floor and continued crying.
Xander started to panic. He took Buffy and set her down on the couch, then picked up Spike and set him down next to her.
The two's cries had woken up Tara. Xander soon found out that tears can be contagious when Tara was soon crying also.
"What'd I do?" Xander cried at the children. He almost felt like crying himself.
"Are you hungry?" he asked. He dashed into the kitchen and returned with his arms full of things ranging from cereal to fruit cake. He let it spill on the floor in front of him.
The children stopped crying, curios. They slowly climbed off the couch and surveyed the food. Spike picked up an ice cream sandwich and proceeded to eat it. Xander knew Willow would kill him if he let him eat it.
"Ah, you can't eat that," Xander said, taking the sandwich from his hands.
Spike looked down at his empty hands, and immediately started to cry again. He plopped down on the floor and started crying louder than before. The other two watched with interest, then followed suit.
Xander started to panic again. He forcfully shoved the melting ice cream sandwich in Spike's hands. The child stopped crying and eyed the sandwich. Then, with a triumphant smile, he unwrapped it and began to eat.
The other two had stopped crying and began to also grab something chocolate or had ice cream in it. Xander opened his mouth to protest, but just sighed, defeated.
"Yeah, I'm a great baby-sitter," he muttered under his breath.
He started to pick up the other food items and took them back in the kitchen, not even caring that the ice cream was melting on the carpet.
A few minutes later, after the melted ice cream and discarded wrappers were cleaned up, the three children were asleep on the couch. Xander sighed and sunk down in a chair. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
"What are you watchin'?" Buffy asked.
Xander jumped at the small voice, thinking she was asleep. "Uh, football."
"Can I watch cartoons?"
"This is the repeat of the biggest game of the year," he whined.
"I wanna watch. . .!" she started to scream.
"Okay, okay!" he yelled, holding up his hands.
She smiled as he turned the channel to Nickelodeon.
"Happy?" he asked.
She just continued watching the annoying little yellow sponge with the high- pitched voice that had a starfish for a best friend.
"Spongebob!" cried another little voice.
Xander groaned when he saw that Spike had woken up in all the channel changing.
"I gotta go to da bafroom," Buffy announced.
"What?" Xander cried. "Can't you just hold it?"
"I gotta go now."
"Can't you go by yourself?"
Buffy shook her head, making her pigtails swing over her face. "I can't unzip my pajamas."
"But. But."
"Hurry!" she cried, doubling over.
"She's gonna explode," Spike said, his blue eyes wide.
Xander jumped up from the chair and picked Buffy up and carried her to the bathroom in a hurry. He set her down on the floor and turned her back facing him.
"Okay, I'm gonna unzip your pjs, then you use the bathroom," he told her.
"Okay," she whimpered.
He gripped his eyes shut and unzipped her pajamas. He heard her pad across the linoleum and he stepped outside.
After few minutes later, she opened the door. "I'm done, Uncle Xander."
He quickly pulled her zipper up and picked her up in his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm tired."
"Good. We'll just get you in here and..."
He came into the living room and stopped short.
In the five minutes they had been in the bathroom, Spike had managed to pull out a can of paint from Xander's room and spill it on the carpet and make scribbles on the TV.
"Good God!" Xander cried.
"Finger paints!" Buffy shouted gleefully.
"No. No finger-paints, Buffy."
Her lower lip puckered out. "I want to finger paint."
She beat on his shoulder with her tiny fists. "I wanna finger-paint!"
Even though she was three, she still had the Slayer strength of about a ten year-old.
(A/N: I know she wasn't the Slayer then, but I had to put it there so go with it.)
"Ow!" Xander cried. "Stop it! Ow! Ow! Okay!"
He set her down. She ran over to where Spike was standing.
She pointed to the scribbles of paint. "Was dat?"
Spike shrugged. "I don't know. Wat dos it look like?"
She giggled. "It looks like Uncle Xander."
"What?" Xander said, coming over to them. He looked at the scribbles and lines that was supposed to be him. "I don't look like that."
"Yes, you do," Buffy squealed.
Xander sighed and looked over the blue paint spilled on the carpet. "Anya is going to kill me."
* * *
Xander scrubbed the last bit of carpet. There was still a blue tint, but that was something they could fix.
Buffy and Spike sat on towels on the dining room floor. Both of them were covered in blue paint, mostly on their hands and faces.
Tara, how had woken up a few minutes ago, was sitting on the couch watching the clean TV.
"I wanna watch TV," Buffy complained.
Xander sat up from the floor. "Well, maybe if you weren't covered in paint, you could. Just... give me a second to clean up. I'll see what I can do about the paint."
Xander glanced at the clock. It was twelve thirty. Willow had called during his cleaning to say that she would drop by for lunch, which was at one.
"Just thirty more minutes," he reassured himself as he went back to cleaning.
"This is sticky," Spike said, putting his hands together and pulling them apart. He looked over at Buffy and laughed. "Your hair's blue."
"So's yours," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Tara giggled secretively as the two's blue appearance.
"You look like Blue's Clues," Buffy squealed.
"I'm not a stupid dog!"
"Yes, you are!"
"Am not!"
"Are, too!"
"Am not!"
"Are, too!"
"Am-!"
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" Xander called, sitting back up.
Willow opened the door and stuck her head in. "Hey, gu-"
"Willow!" The two cried and ran over to her, wrapping their arms around her knees.
Tara slid off the couch and tottered over, sticking out her arms.
Slightly bewildered, Willow lifted Tara up onto her hip. "Why are Buffy and Spike blue?"
Xander shrugged.
Willow shrugged too, mocking him. "What do you mean.." She shrugged again. "..?"
Xander climbed to his feet. "I mean, they got into my paint."
"And got it all over themselves! What were you doing in all of this?"
"I was helping Buffy use the bathroom! Spike got into the paint and Buffy got into it before I could stop her!"
Willow took a deep breath. "Okay. It's okay. I've got about an hour 'til my next class. I can give them a bath. Go get the bag with their clothes in it and see if their swim suits are in there."
Xander nodded and went to check. He pulled out a pair of black swimming trunks and a pink one piece. "Got 'em."
"Good. You watch Tara while I give them a bath."
Willow handed Tara off to Xander and took the bathing suits from his hand. She led Buffy and Spike back to the bathroom and changed them into their bathing suits, knowing that if they found out she put them in the bath together naked, she would be deader than she already was.
The bathing suits didn't cover up anything that was covered in paint, so that was a plus. She turned on the water and let it warm up.
Then she grinned slightly.
"Stay right here, okay," she told them, getting up. "I'll be right back."
Willow went into the living room and grabbed her purse, which had the cameras from the mall in them. She still had a few left.
"What are you doing?" Xander asked.
She grinned. "It's Kodak moment."
Willow returned to the bathroom and thanked Goddess that they hadn't broken anything. She set the two in the tub, sat on the toilet seat, and started taking pictures.
They splashed water on each other and laughed and squealed the whole time. Willow got some good, funny pictures. One really good one was of them hugging with their faces together, smiling widely at the camera. After a while, she set the camera aside and started to wash them off with soap and shampoo. It took a few tries, but eventually the blue paint came out. She remembered to wash her legs from where they had grabbed her.
Willow wrapped a towel around the two of them and led them back into the living room.
"Go sit on the couch," she told them.
Xander got up and walked over.
"You think you can handle them for a few more hours?" she asked.
He shrugged.
She rolled her eyes. "Look, if you've got a problem, call the UC. Dawn will be getting out of school in about an hour, I told her to come here, so you'll have some help. I get out at four."
He nodded. "I think I can deal."
"Good." Willow grabbed her bag and walked to the door. "See you then."
She walked out of the apartment.
Xander turned back to the three kids.
They all grinned.
* * *
Dawn walked through the door. "Xander?"
Xander, who was sprawled on the floor, raised his head up. "Over here."
"Again!" Buffy screeched, who was sitting on his back.
"No again," Xander mumbled against the floor. "I'm all 'again' out."
Spike, who was sitting next to her, started bouncing on his back. "Again, again!"
"Not if my life depended on it."
Tara, who was sitting next to Spike, started bouncing also. Buffy soon joined in.
"Don't you guys ever get tired?" Xander whined.
"Let me guess," Dawn said, coming over to sit on the couch. "You thought that if you played some kind of game with them, they would eventually get tired and go to sleep."
"That was the plan."
Dawn shook her head in a disappointed way. "That's what happens when you send an amateur to do a pro's job."
"Just get 'em off me," he asked, not even lifting his head from the floor.
Dawn got up and removed Buffy from Xander's back.
"Hey!" she yelled.
Dawn sat her on the couch. "Sit."
Buffy pouted and folded her arms.
Dawn then lifted Spike up and sat him at the opposite end of Buffy. He scowled.
Tara was already off of Xander when Dawn turned around.
Xander slowly rolled over. "God help me."
Dawn giggled. "Anybody hungry?"
"I am!" Buffy and Spike cried.
Dawn looked down at Tara. "What about you, sweetie?"
Tara nodded softly.
"Xander, do you think you could make something? Like macaroni and cheese?"
He shrugged. "If I can get up."
"And one more thing. Why are Spike and Buffy wearing bathing suits?"
"Lots of blue paint. Willow fixed it."
"Well, they need to get out of their wet clothes. They could get sick."
"You change them. I'll cook."
"Okay. And don't forget to watch Tara."
He groaned.
* * *
About fifteen minutes later, the three kids were sitting at the dining room table, digging into some mac and cheese.
"I'm never having kids," Xander declared.
"Sure you will. Anya wouldn't have it any other way."
"I can't take care of a kid. You saw me. I wear out easily, I can't make them do what their told, I leave them in wet clothes and feed them ice cream bars for breakfast."
"You what?! No wonder their so hyper."
"I think I made my point."
Dawn brushed it off. "Don't worry about it. You're not even married yet. Worry about children after."
He sighed.
About an hour later, Willow came by to pick up Dawn and the kids.
Xander sat on he couch, thinking about marriage and kids.
TBC...
