(Hibiemi drops Hakkai's hair into the glass of veela blood)
Hibiemi: One of the creatures here were poached from Harry Potter... and the songs Hakkai and Qui were singing were all from the Rocky Horror Show...
---
Qui: Let's get started...
(Nii gives Qui the book with the formula)
Qui: A glass of veela blood to charm my victim... A pig's penis to knock him out... A cup of stardust to make sure he sleeps tight... And the heart of a dog to make sure he stays loyal... This will be sooooooo good... (Throws all the potions into his/her cauldron)
Nii: So... Who's going to the cottage and who's preventing Hakkai?
Hibi *thinking*: Damn! What do I do, what do I do... If I take the job of preventing Hakkai, I'll be able to get him to the cottage without fail... But certainly they'll make me go to the cottage and deliver the goods to Sanzo... They know I can't screw up there since Qui will be hiding... Oh shit!!
Nii: What in heck are you thinking, traitor?
Hibi: Nan demo nai, Nii-hakase... *thinks* Sou ka!! *to Qui* Ne, Qui-sama... May I go to my room? I know I forgot something as usual...
Qui: Okay, okay... But make it snappy, we wouldn't like you to be late in giving the goods to Sanzo...
(Hibi rushes off into her room)
Hibi: Blueberry!
Blueberry: Meow?
Hibi: I want you to deliver this message to Hakkai... Don't worry. I know you're fast, so you'll deliver it on time...
Blueberry: Meow... *zooms off with the message*
(Hibi returns to the lab)
Qui: Well then, we now have our picnic basket of doom. Hibi, you deliver this to Sanzo. Give him either the cake, the beer or the yakisoba. After he falls asleep, drag him to the western oak and let me finish everything off. Nii, you find Hakkai and stop him from getting here. If nothing goes wrong, we should be able to get through with this...
(Meanwhile, at the woods where Prince Hakkai was waiting)
Blueberry: Meow...
Hakkai: A message... Hide at the eastern oak... Kiss Sanzo right away... If this plan doesn't work, throw Blueberry at Sanzo. Sanzo will wake up and look for you. Fortunately, I entered your DNA into the potion. He'll most probably awake when you kiss him. I'm not sure if Qui can wake him up since his DNA is almost identical to yours... I'll see if I can fix it up... Okay! Iku yo, Blueberry! We'll have to claim Sanzo...
(At the cottage)
Goku: Be careful, Sanzo!
Lirin: Lock the door, Sanzo!
Nataku: Order pizza, Sanzo!
3 Monkeys: We secretly hate Sanzo's cooking...
(The 3 leave the scene and Hibiemi enters looking all innocent as usual)
Hibi: Ohayou, Sanzo!
Sanzo: Aren't you working with Qui?
Hibi (whispers): I'm a traitor... (aloud) And I threw those three monkeys off into who knows where...
Goku: Lirin, were are we?
Lirin: We've been thrown off into Tenjiku...
Nataku: @.@
Sanzo (whispers): Great. What do I do?
Hibi: I've got a can of beer, a strawberry cheesecake and some yakisoba with me. Which would you like to eat?
Sanzo (whispers): Are you sure things are going Hakkai's way?
Hibi (whispers): I'm certain... If Blueberry doesn't make you sane or if Hakkai doesn't kiss you, you're dead.
Sanzo: I'm taking the beer. No sweets or fried noodles, please... (drinks the beer and falls asleep)
(Hibi passes through the window to retrieve Sanzo's body)
Hibi: Geez... I wish my plan works...
Qui: It's about time... Hibi's taking Sanzo's body out of the house...
Hakkai: Good... I got here on time... Now, I'll have to steal Sanzo's body... *runs towards Hibi and takes Sanzo*
Hibi: Yoshi!!
Qui: TRAITOR!! You're a very disobedient girl, Hibi!
Hibi: It's your fault! Ultima!!
(a bright ray tries to hit Qui, but he blocks it in time)
Qui: I'll deal with you later... *teleports to where Hakkai and Sanzo are*
(Sanzo is awake and was in the process of removing Hakkai's shirt)
Qui: Hakkai, I challenge you to a duel... Whoever wins gets Sanzo...
Sanzo: Hakkai... Be careful.
Hakkai: Don't worry, Sanzo... I'll be sure that the transvestite here fails... *smiles*
Qui: We shall have a musical duel!
*sings in black lingerie, black stockings and black high heels*
Don't get strung out by the way I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But at night, I'm one hell of a lover...
I'm just a sweet transvestite!
From transsexual Transylvannia!
Hakkai: Let's see who's the better one!! *rips off his clothing to reveal a white version of whatever Qui is wearing*
Mamamamamamamamamamamamaaaaaaaaa...
I'm a wild and untamed thing!
I'm a bee with a deadly sting!
Get a hit and your mind goes ping!
You're heart will thump and your blood will sing!
So let the party and the sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it 'till the life is gone...
Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain...
(Everyone joins in except for Hibi and Nii)
Everyone:
We are wild and untamed things!
We are bees with a deadly sting!
Get a hit and your mind goes ping!
Your heart will thump and your blood will sing!
So let the party and the sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it 'till the life is gone...
Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain...
We are wild and untamed things!
We are bees with a deadly sting!
Get a hit and your mind goes ping!
Your heart will thump and your blood will sing!
So let the party and the sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it 'till the life is gone...
Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain...
Hibi: QUIETUS!! It's all over!! Your mission is over!! I'm your new commander! You now are my prisoner, we return to Transylvannia, PREPARE THE TRANSIT BEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!
Qui: Wait! I can explain!
-- To be continued --
