Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha nor it's characters. I just write
fanfic when I'm bored or a muse decides to come knocking. I deliver pizza
to get by each week, so no suing allowed. Just how much money do you think
I have? :p This fic rated PG for language.
Inner Musings By: Kyron
Two years prior:
Stupid woman. Always thinks she knows exactly what to do when she has no clue. Go figure. But.I don't know what I'd do without her now.
Dammit. I was doing fine before she came along. If you call being practically nailed to a tree "fine". It wasn't this though. No arguing, no bullshit.nothing. Hm.sometimes it seems that the line was not as gray as I thought.
There's a world of difference between then and now. World of difference huh? Like her world and mine. Decades apart. Decades. Shit.
And yet, here she is. Asleep. Completely off her guard and vulnerable. It'd be so easy to kill her and take the shards.or to just leave. But I can't do either. I don't want to. Maybe I would have, early on at least. But not now. No way. And no one else will be able to either. Not while I'm still breathing. I'm not sure what gives me these ideas. Probably because I'm in a pissed off mood.can't ya tell? I can't kill her, and no, it's not inability. I can't leave her in the same token. I mean, I suppose I could but I don't think I'd be able to live with my self if I did that. I promised her protection. Always giving justification to my actions by saying I was protecting the jewel shards. Bullshit. I could give a shit about them anymore. At least, I don't really care to go full demon anymore. Nor do I care to go full human. I would. If she asked me to. Thing is, I don't think she's going to ask me to do that.
The whole purpose behind me wanting to go full demon was to find some form of acceptance. To prove myself when there really was nothing to prove. I can't help what I am. Yeah, I'm a hanyou. Whoopty do. I was born that way and I might die that way. Who knows? I could die any day now but that'd be okay. I've found my acceptance. There's a person here who accepts me for who I am. She even accepts me for what I am and hasn't asked me to change. Sure, there's the whole "sit" thing which sucks. But even those have been few and far between as of late. I catch the majority of them when I follow her to the well and won't let her go home. Hell, I can't help that! I don't really wanna be stuck here with that pervert Miroku. Sango is okay to hang out with but Miroku?? C'mon.cut a guy some slack.
I don't think Kagome realizes why I follow her to the well.even occasionally through it. She doesn't understand that it's hell to be without her. Even for a few days. I know she'll come back.she always does. But that doesn't stop my stomach from turning every time she mentions "tests". Or whatever they are. That usually means she's leaving again. And I'm stuck with Miroku.again. And he'll end up getting pummeled by Sango.again. Ugh.it's a vicious cycle. Though I have to admit that watching that goober of a monk get his ass kicked by a demon slayer is hilarious.
Tonight she said the "T" word. Meaning she's leaving tomorrow. We even decided to camp near the well so she could leave first thing. Hell, she just got back a week ago only to say she's leaving for a second week? She even asked me to not stop her so she could hurry and get back. Forget that. Not try to stop her? Yeah.right. And Hell will freeze again, when? I'm all for the hurry and get back part though. Besides, next week is the new moon. Not exactly my favorite night of the month for obvious reasons.
Shit, it's almost dawn. Almost time for her to leave me here again. Damn. Should I let her go this time? Can I? I sure as hell don't want to. I've tried telling myself that she'll be back. She said so herself. But dammit, I don't want her to leave. I can't protect her if I'm on this side and she's on the other. Shards be damned. I'd rather have her than them. I can live without them. I can't live without her. I'd rather die than live without her.
Hm.the wind shifted. She's coming.
***
Kagome slowly approached the well, her eyes searching the trees above for any sign of the hanyou. It was just dawn and she had managed to get away from the camp without waking the others. But Inu Yasha had been no where in sight. She figured he was nearby. He never went far from the camp as it was. Unless something was bothering him. She walked as quietly as she could. Though inevitably it would be useless. She knew he could smell her coming a mile away. If he paid close enough attention anyway. Kagome sighed as she spotted the well. Still no Inu Yasha. But was that good or bad? She stepped up to the well, still checking her surroundings and finally spotted the hanyou. He sat, his back against the well and his chin resting on his knee, his other leg curled in front of him. His ears swiveled at her approach. She was certain he knew she was there. Not that there was any doubt. But something about the way he sat bothered her. Then it dawned on her.he was sitting. Not standing and yelling at her that she should stay. Not pacing all around like a caged animal waiting for her to get there. Nothing. Just sitting, staring off into the trees. Maybe he's sick? She moved closer to him, sitting herself down on the soft grass beside him. Kagome even tried looking the same direction, attempting to spot what had him so seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. Nothing. Just trees.
"Inu Yasha?" she asked quietly. Pause. "Yeah?" he replied. "Are you okay?" Another pause. "Yeah." "No you're not." Long pause. "What's wrong?" she tried. Hell, she was getting worried, thinking that maybe he really was getting sick. Or maybe he'd been hurt and didn't want to tell her. Or maybe. "Do you have to go?" he asked, turning his head to look at her. Or maybe he was just fine. "Inu Yasha, we've already discussed this. Yes, I have to take my tests. I'll be back in a week." she explained for what seemed like the umpteenth billion time. "I don't want you to go." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Kagome gave an exasperated sigh. "The shards will be safe-" "It's not about the fucking shards!" he yelled, suddenly on his feet and looking at her, amber eyes locked with gray. Kagome was surprised by his sudden outburst and stared back in shock. "Wha-" "I.don't want to lose you, Kagome. I- I can't." he managed, the rush of his own outburst leaving almost instantaneously. He sank back against the well, all of his energy seemed drained. He rested his elbows on his knees and cupped his face in his hands. His mind was fighting his heart and was losing fast. Kagome still sat, her own mind trying to process all that had happened in those last few moments. Finally, her muddled thoughts cleared enough to see the current situation. Inu Yasha now sat a couple feet away from her, face in his hands. That's what he was worried about? Losing her? Not the shards?
"Inu Yasha?" she asked, timidly. No answer. He still hadn't moved. Kagome slowly inched closer to the hanyou until she was sitting next to him again. "Inu Yasha?" she tried again. Still no reply. Kagome sat, hugging her knees, waiting. Waiting for what she had no idea. But she would wait. The pair sat in silence for several minutes, neither moving nor speaking. Finally, Inu Yasha shifted, moving to rest his head back against the well and letting his arms fall to the ground. Kagome waited a few moments longer. When he did not speak, she hesitantly reached down and gently grasped his hand. His eyes shifted, immediately going to where both their hands rested upon the ground. He looked again, this time towards Kagome.
She saw it then. There was something else hidden in the depths of those eyes. Something she couldn't quite place. It seemed alight like a fire, but not like the usual fire that burned in his eyes. No, this was something else. It was almost like he was completely unsure of himself. Very non-Inu Yasha like. That could definitely worry her to a degree.
Inu Yasha could see it. She was distressed. Dammit.there he goes again. Making her worry about him. Seeing her like that was almost as bad as seeing her crying. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure her as best he could. "You're coming back soon, right?" he asked quietly. She nodded slowly. "And you have to go?" Another nod. The hanyou sighed. "Okay. I'll be here waiting when you get back." he said, turning his eyes away from hers. She remained there for a few moments more, still holding his hand. She shifted and he released her hand, ready to allow her to go. Instead, her now free arm wrapped around Inu Yasha's shoulders, pulling him against her. He tensed at first but consented to lean on her shoulder as she hugged him. "Thank you." she whispered. She eased her hold on him and moved to stand, placing a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll come back for the new moon, okay?" she said, releasing him completely. He looked at her, the surprise easily registering on his face. He finally nodded and she picked up her pack. Kagome stepped into the well, giving Inu Yasha another look and a small smile. "See you later." she said, slipping down the well and back into her own time.
Inu Yasha sat there for several minutes afterwards. His mind working overtime and his heart pumping his blood so fast it pounded in his ears. He grasped the hilt of the Tetseiga for reassurance and allowed his other hand to wander to where her lips had touched his cheek. She had promised to be back for the new moon.
A loud 'TWACK' from the camp brought him back to reality. "Pervert!" Sango yelled. The groan from the probably unconscious monk sounded afterwards. Inu Yasha stood, shaking his head. The new moon wasn't far but it'd be a long, long few days. He started walking back to the camp, giving the well one last look until it was time to return to it again. For now, he had an ass-whipping to see.
Inner Musings By: Kyron
Two years prior:
Stupid woman. Always thinks she knows exactly what to do when she has no clue. Go figure. But.I don't know what I'd do without her now.
Dammit. I was doing fine before she came along. If you call being practically nailed to a tree "fine". It wasn't this though. No arguing, no bullshit.nothing. Hm.sometimes it seems that the line was not as gray as I thought.
There's a world of difference between then and now. World of difference huh? Like her world and mine. Decades apart. Decades. Shit.
And yet, here she is. Asleep. Completely off her guard and vulnerable. It'd be so easy to kill her and take the shards.or to just leave. But I can't do either. I don't want to. Maybe I would have, early on at least. But not now. No way. And no one else will be able to either. Not while I'm still breathing. I'm not sure what gives me these ideas. Probably because I'm in a pissed off mood.can't ya tell? I can't kill her, and no, it's not inability. I can't leave her in the same token. I mean, I suppose I could but I don't think I'd be able to live with my self if I did that. I promised her protection. Always giving justification to my actions by saying I was protecting the jewel shards. Bullshit. I could give a shit about them anymore. At least, I don't really care to go full demon anymore. Nor do I care to go full human. I would. If she asked me to. Thing is, I don't think she's going to ask me to do that.
The whole purpose behind me wanting to go full demon was to find some form of acceptance. To prove myself when there really was nothing to prove. I can't help what I am. Yeah, I'm a hanyou. Whoopty do. I was born that way and I might die that way. Who knows? I could die any day now but that'd be okay. I've found my acceptance. There's a person here who accepts me for who I am. She even accepts me for what I am and hasn't asked me to change. Sure, there's the whole "sit" thing which sucks. But even those have been few and far between as of late. I catch the majority of them when I follow her to the well and won't let her go home. Hell, I can't help that! I don't really wanna be stuck here with that pervert Miroku. Sango is okay to hang out with but Miroku?? C'mon.cut a guy some slack.
I don't think Kagome realizes why I follow her to the well.even occasionally through it. She doesn't understand that it's hell to be without her. Even for a few days. I know she'll come back.she always does. But that doesn't stop my stomach from turning every time she mentions "tests". Or whatever they are. That usually means she's leaving again. And I'm stuck with Miroku.again. And he'll end up getting pummeled by Sango.again. Ugh.it's a vicious cycle. Though I have to admit that watching that goober of a monk get his ass kicked by a demon slayer is hilarious.
Tonight she said the "T" word. Meaning she's leaving tomorrow. We even decided to camp near the well so she could leave first thing. Hell, she just got back a week ago only to say she's leaving for a second week? She even asked me to not stop her so she could hurry and get back. Forget that. Not try to stop her? Yeah.right. And Hell will freeze again, when? I'm all for the hurry and get back part though. Besides, next week is the new moon. Not exactly my favorite night of the month for obvious reasons.
Shit, it's almost dawn. Almost time for her to leave me here again. Damn. Should I let her go this time? Can I? I sure as hell don't want to. I've tried telling myself that she'll be back. She said so herself. But dammit, I don't want her to leave. I can't protect her if I'm on this side and she's on the other. Shards be damned. I'd rather have her than them. I can live without them. I can't live without her. I'd rather die than live without her.
Hm.the wind shifted. She's coming.
***
Kagome slowly approached the well, her eyes searching the trees above for any sign of the hanyou. It was just dawn and she had managed to get away from the camp without waking the others. But Inu Yasha had been no where in sight. She figured he was nearby. He never went far from the camp as it was. Unless something was bothering him. She walked as quietly as she could. Though inevitably it would be useless. She knew he could smell her coming a mile away. If he paid close enough attention anyway. Kagome sighed as she spotted the well. Still no Inu Yasha. But was that good or bad? She stepped up to the well, still checking her surroundings and finally spotted the hanyou. He sat, his back against the well and his chin resting on his knee, his other leg curled in front of him. His ears swiveled at her approach. She was certain he knew she was there. Not that there was any doubt. But something about the way he sat bothered her. Then it dawned on her.he was sitting. Not standing and yelling at her that she should stay. Not pacing all around like a caged animal waiting for her to get there. Nothing. Just sitting, staring off into the trees. Maybe he's sick? She moved closer to him, sitting herself down on the soft grass beside him. Kagome even tried looking the same direction, attempting to spot what had him so seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. Nothing. Just trees.
"Inu Yasha?" she asked quietly. Pause. "Yeah?" he replied. "Are you okay?" Another pause. "Yeah." "No you're not." Long pause. "What's wrong?" she tried. Hell, she was getting worried, thinking that maybe he really was getting sick. Or maybe he'd been hurt and didn't want to tell her. Or maybe. "Do you have to go?" he asked, turning his head to look at her. Or maybe he was just fine. "Inu Yasha, we've already discussed this. Yes, I have to take my tests. I'll be back in a week." she explained for what seemed like the umpteenth billion time. "I don't want you to go." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Kagome gave an exasperated sigh. "The shards will be safe-" "It's not about the fucking shards!" he yelled, suddenly on his feet and looking at her, amber eyes locked with gray. Kagome was surprised by his sudden outburst and stared back in shock. "Wha-" "I.don't want to lose you, Kagome. I- I can't." he managed, the rush of his own outburst leaving almost instantaneously. He sank back against the well, all of his energy seemed drained. He rested his elbows on his knees and cupped his face in his hands. His mind was fighting his heart and was losing fast. Kagome still sat, her own mind trying to process all that had happened in those last few moments. Finally, her muddled thoughts cleared enough to see the current situation. Inu Yasha now sat a couple feet away from her, face in his hands. That's what he was worried about? Losing her? Not the shards?
"Inu Yasha?" she asked, timidly. No answer. He still hadn't moved. Kagome slowly inched closer to the hanyou until she was sitting next to him again. "Inu Yasha?" she tried again. Still no reply. Kagome sat, hugging her knees, waiting. Waiting for what she had no idea. But she would wait. The pair sat in silence for several minutes, neither moving nor speaking. Finally, Inu Yasha shifted, moving to rest his head back against the well and letting his arms fall to the ground. Kagome waited a few moments longer. When he did not speak, she hesitantly reached down and gently grasped his hand. His eyes shifted, immediately going to where both their hands rested upon the ground. He looked again, this time towards Kagome.
She saw it then. There was something else hidden in the depths of those eyes. Something she couldn't quite place. It seemed alight like a fire, but not like the usual fire that burned in his eyes. No, this was something else. It was almost like he was completely unsure of himself. Very non-Inu Yasha like. That could definitely worry her to a degree.
Inu Yasha could see it. She was distressed. Dammit.there he goes again. Making her worry about him. Seeing her like that was almost as bad as seeing her crying. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure her as best he could. "You're coming back soon, right?" he asked quietly. She nodded slowly. "And you have to go?" Another nod. The hanyou sighed. "Okay. I'll be here waiting when you get back." he said, turning his eyes away from hers. She remained there for a few moments more, still holding his hand. She shifted and he released her hand, ready to allow her to go. Instead, her now free arm wrapped around Inu Yasha's shoulders, pulling him against her. He tensed at first but consented to lean on her shoulder as she hugged him. "Thank you." she whispered. She eased her hold on him and moved to stand, placing a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll come back for the new moon, okay?" she said, releasing him completely. He looked at her, the surprise easily registering on his face. He finally nodded and she picked up her pack. Kagome stepped into the well, giving Inu Yasha another look and a small smile. "See you later." she said, slipping down the well and back into her own time.
Inu Yasha sat there for several minutes afterwards. His mind working overtime and his heart pumping his blood so fast it pounded in his ears. He grasped the hilt of the Tetseiga for reassurance and allowed his other hand to wander to where her lips had touched his cheek. She had promised to be back for the new moon.
A loud 'TWACK' from the camp brought him back to reality. "Pervert!" Sango yelled. The groan from the probably unconscious monk sounded afterwards. Inu Yasha stood, shaking his head. The new moon wasn't far but it'd be a long, long few days. He started walking back to the camp, giving the well one last look until it was time to return to it again. For now, he had an ass-whipping to see.
