Disclaimer: see part 1.
The Lifespan of a Love Affair
By Random1377
Week 4: Keeping Secrets.
"She's moving in??"
"Keep your voice down," Misato hissed, scrubbing a hand through her long purple hair. "It's not like we live in a mansion, you know – she's only twenty feet away!"
"But, but," Shinji stammered, "how will she… where will she… what's she going to say about us?"
Misato shot a glance over to the doorway leading to the living room, then grinned and leaned over to peck him on the lips. "We'll keep it a secret," she whispered, trying to make light of the situation.
Shinji colored, tracing his lips with his forefinger and nodding slowly.
Just keep it cool, Misato thought, calling Asuka into the room, if I can convince the school dean that a week of marathon sex was a 'transient virus' I can keep my personal affairs private from a fourteen year old.
"This place is kinda small," Asuka sighed as she came into the kitchen, "I'm guessing that the room I was in when we were doing sync training is going to be mine, right? Well… it'll have to do." She grinned, "Better than the barracks, or one of those shitty little apartments across town."
"Your stuff should all fit," Misato shrugged, "and this way you can walk to school with Shinji."
"Super," Asuka rolled her eyes, "well… guess I'll get my stuff."
Shinji watched her head out the door, biting his bottom lip pensively. I don't think she remembers that night, he mused, thinking of the girl's tired eyes when she sat up and saw him with Misato the night before the most recent angel. She would have said something, right? I don't think she'd ever let something like that go.
He squeaked slightly with surprise as Misato's arms circled his waist from behind, pulling him back against her. "M-Misato?"
"Shinji?"
"Misato," the boy managed, allowing himself the luxury of leaning into her embrace for a minute, "she could be back any second…"
He closed his eyes as Misato rested her chin on his shoulder, kissing his cheek and squeezing him lightly. "I know," she whispered playfully, "kind of exciting, isn't it?" She laughed as he stumblingly protested that this was no way to keep a secret. "Asuka has to go all the way downstairs and come back up," she pointed out, absently caressing his stomach and kissing his cheek again, "so I figure that gives me at least five minutes alone with you…" she lowered her voice. "And I think I deserve that…"
Shinji shivered. "I want…"
"Hmmm?" Misato prompted as he trailed off. "What do you want, Shinji? I'm listening…" She waited patiently, still stroking his stomach through his shirt, and wondering suddenly what he was getting out of their relationship.
He never asks for more, she thought, frowning softly, and he never tries to TAKE more. It's… sweet, in a way, that he hasn't tried to feel me up – but is he happy? Does he WANT more than an occasional kiss? God… even though we live and work together, we hardly talk about stuff like that, and I can count the number of times we've kissed on one hand.
"I want to… to go out again," Shinji confessed finally, "I want to take you to a movie."
For one startlingly erotic moment, Misato thought he had said 'I want to take you in a movie.' Shaking off the urge to ask him if he wanted her buttered or plain, she replied, "I'd like that. There's a new romance movie out… we could go to that on Saturday if you want."
"Can we go tonight?" Shinji asked hesitantly. "I… I just really want to get out tonight – so can we?"
Misato smiled, inexplicably happy that the boy was actually asking for something. It's kind of a first step, huh? she thought, finding her right hand resting over his heart. Maybe this is what you get out of it, right Shinji? I get a sweet, affectionate, kind-hearted boyfriend that's not always trying to get into my pants… and you get a little dose of self-confidence. Sound like a fair deal?
"Are you going to kiss me?" she asked lightly, giggling as she felt him flush. "I think we can go to the movies," she murmured gently, releasing him and taking a step back as the sound of the elevator bell reached her. "And," she whispered, "I don't argue too much if you wanted to make out if the movie's too boring…"
A moment later, Asuka passed through the kitchen. "What are you grinning about?" she muttered, pulling the strap of the heavy looking bag she was carrying a bit higher on her shoulder.
"Nothing," Shinji said sheepishly. "Do you need some help?"
Asuka paused. "Yeah," she said hesitantly, "I guess… but don't think that I owe you or anything – I don't need your help, it'll just make it go faster."
Shinji smiled, his eyes flickering to Misato's. "Ok," he replied agreeably.
Misato watched the two Children move in opposite directions… and found herself hit by a flash of insight. They'd never work together, she thought with a touch of sadness, like just now… they're moving in opposite directions…
Shaking her head, she followed Shinji, a wicked grin on her face as she called, "Wait up! I'll ride down with you…"
**
Misato checked her watch. "Stupid elevator's so damn slow," she grumbled, leaning slightly away from the other occupant.
Kaji continued staring straight ahead, the placid expression on his face barely even indicating that he was aware of her presence.
The conversation between the two old lovers had been incredibly subdued over the last few days, Misato had noticed, and strangely – this suited her just fine. We're over, she thought, casting him a sidelong glance as the elevator continued to tick off floors, no point in trying to rekindle something long dead, right? Besides… I have a boyfrie-
"I saw a movie on Tuesday," Kaji said suddenly, cutting into her thoughts. "Kind of a break from the norm, you know? Usually I see stuff on the weekend."
"Good for you," Misato muttered. "Way to shift your paradigm."
Kaji continued staring straight ahead. "Yeah," he said lightly, "wasn't too bad. Kinda sappy, I thought, but not too bad." He cleared his throat. "I think you'd like it, though."
"Why's that?" Misato asked distantly, scratching behind her right ear and wishing the elevator would reach the top. And does he have to keep wearing that cologne?? She thought, her brow drawing down slightly as she recalled the way his neck happened to taste when he was wearing that particular fragrance. Maybe I should get Shinji some… she thought idly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, not the same kind, of course – well… maybe the same kind, but-
"Just seems like your kind of movie," Kaji continued after a moment of quiet, a slow smile spreading over his face. "It's called, Signs of Life… it's a romance…"
Misato froze, slowly turning to face the man. No way!!
Kaji leaned against the back of the elevator. "Hmm…" he hummed, looking thoughtful, "there were a lot of couples at the show," he said quietly.
Misato lowered her eyes, staring at the floor. Don't… she thought desperately, oh please don't let him have seen us!!
"How is he?"
The purple-haired woman flinched. "I don't know what you me-"
"I never thought I would see the day," Kaji cut, his voice turning cold as ice. "No, I never thought you of all people would do something like this."
"You don't… understand," Misato managed, "it's not what it-"
Kaji cut her off again, muttering, "You must have been pretty damn desperate to start fucking a kid, Misato."
"It's not like that!" the woman exploded. "We're just… we…"
As she fumbled for words, Kaji shook his head. "You're some piece of work, Katsuragi," he murmured. "Well," he shrugged, "I guess the Commander doesn't need to hear about this… he's already got a lot on his mind."
Misato closed her eyes. "Thank you…" she whispered, wondering if her pride died in that moment, or if it had been gone for some time.
"Sure," Kaji replied quietly, "but I'd sure as hell recommend that there's nothing to find out come tomorrow, you know what I mean? There are… other people that pay attention to what goes on around here, Katsuragi."
Misato just nodded, opening her eyes as the elevator chimed their arrival.
Kaji stepped out, walking in the direction of the cafeteria with a casual, unhurried stride. "Later," he muttered.
He received no reply, and though it was her floor… Misato stayed on the elevator as the doors slid closed and it began its slow descent once more.
**
Shinji glanced up as Misato came into the apartment. "Hey," he said brightly, "how was work?"
"It was… ok," Misato replied halfheartedly, "couple little snags, but ok, I guess…"
He doesn't need to know, she thought tiredly, shrugging her coat off and hanging it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. "What's cooking?" she asked, hoping her voice did not sound too strained, "It smells really good."
"Oh, it's just a little chicken and vegetables," Shinji said dismissively, "I picked up a cookbook yesterday…" his voice grew a shade more timid. "I wanted to cook you something a little nicer."
Misato blinked, then grinned. "Asuka's not here, is she?" she asked shrewdly.
Shinji continued facing the skillet, slowly shaking his head. "She went over to the Class Representative's house," he murmured, carefully stirring the pan, "she won't be back until nine or so."
He frowned slightly as Misato offered no reply, the silence between them stretching out for a full minute before becoming unbearable.
"Is something wro-"
His query was cut off as the woman laid her hands on his shoulders, gently turning him to face her. "Turn off the stove for a minute," she whispered, smiling wolfishly, "or you'll burn the food."
Shinji blushed, nearly burning his hand as he reached back and found the knob to turn off the burner. "W-what is it?" he managed, somewhat daunted by the sudden awareness of how quiet the apartment was.
"Don't play hard to get, Shinji," Misato teased gently, folding him in her arms. "You know what I want." She laughed as Shinji stammered something about moving too fast, caressing his cheek with her palm. "Not that, hentai…" she whispered, "I just wanted to kiss you for a while."
"Oh…"
Misato's smile faded slightly. But if you started it, she thought pensively, would I try to stop you? I like the way things are going – no matter what my old 'college friends' think – and I don't want this feeling to get ruined, so I'm not going to be the one to make a move… but if he does, then what? Am I going to say, 'I think we should wait a while,' even though we've been dating for four weeks? Her face fell further as she stared at the floor. Or will I just spread my legs… and close my eyes… and… god damn, maybe Ritsuko was right – just thinking about it is making me wet…
"You look sad…"
Misato shook herself. "Hmm?" she hummed, glancing up to find his face heavy with concern. "I'm not sad, I'm just… kinda tired," she offered him a gentle smile. "And I don't get to see you as much as I want to."
Shinji nodded. "I know," he whispered, "I'm sorry."
"Why would you be sorry?" the woman asked with some wonder, "It's not your fault… you didn't let Asuka move in."
Shinji tilted his head to the side. "Why did you have her move in?" he asked curiously.
Misato sighed, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. "The same reason I had you move in," she said quietly, "because I can't stand to see someone living alone if I can do something about it. Of course," she stuck her tongue out suddenly, "I doubt I'll start making out with her, unless you wanted to try a little three-way act-" she cut herself off as Shinji's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Just kidding," she said lightly, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his, "if I really was going to make out with you and another girl, it would be Rei… she's got a cute little ass, and she's not so bossy."
There was a moment of absolute silence in the apartment, then Misato burst into laughter.
God, she thought as the boy alternated from pale to bright red, his thoughts obviously in chaos from the very idea of a group make out session, this is so fun. Not just teasing him, but the fact that I know how he'll react. I know when he'll smile… I know when he'll blush… I know when I should kiss him to make him feel better… I know… him – I love that! I love that I he's so gentle with me, and I love the way he smiles at me, and I love that… when did we start kissing?
Misato pulled back, breaking the soft kiss, and tried to go back over the past few moments. "Sorry about that," she breathed, grinning slightly at the boy's dazed expression, "you look so cute in that apron, I just couldn't help myself."
Shinji glanced down. "M-maybe I'll just start wearing it around the house," he grinned.
"Tease," Misato winked, pressing her forehead against his. She closed her eyes, reaching back and slowly moving his hand back up from where it had come to rest.
"I'm sorry…" Shinji whispered, looking embarrassed, "I just… I'm sorry."
"It's ok," the woman replied, opening her eyes and smiling reassuringly, "I'm sorry I stopped you, I guess I just wasn't expecting it…" She kissed him lightly, lowering her voice to a whisper. "You can try again if you want… I won't stop you this time."
Well, she thought ironically, guess now I know what I would do if he made a move.
Slowly, Shinji stepped back. "I should get dinner finished," he said sheepishly. "I'll call you when it's done…"
"Ok," Misato murmured, her shoulders slumping slightly.
Stupid, she berated herself as Shinji turned the stove back on, his cheeks flushed with color. Stupid, stupid, stupid! God, I'm so STUPID!! She made her way into her room, stripping her shirt off and tossing it carelessly in a corner… then walking over and picking it up, depositing it carefully in the hamper she had recently purchased. What do you think of that, Kaji? she thought angrily, pulling a tee shirt out of one of her drawers and yanking it on. How can I be fucking him if I panic when he touches my ass? God… she shook her head, slipping out of her skirt and pulling on a pair of sweats, I've gone all the way the other direction – from slut to prude in four weeks… and for my next trick, I'll destroy my boyfriend's confidence by making it clear that our relationship is on my terms only. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm on a roll…
"Dinner's ready."
"Coming!" she called. She stopped, looking in her mirror and straightening her hair. "Ok," she told herself firmly, "life is made up of compromises. Yes, I promised myself that I wouldn't move to fast with Shinji, but I think maybe a little touch after four weeks is pretty slow – especially considering that I've slept with guys on the first date… so here's what we'll do." She pointed at her reflection. "You are going to go in there, have a nice, relaxing evening with your boyfriend, kiss him every chance you get, and if he tries to touch you again, you're going to let it happen – got it?" She nodded, making a fist and brandishing it in the mirror. "Right – let's go!"
She headed out of her room, determined to break free of the odd stasis that had quietly stolen over their relationship. Yes, she decided, a little touch… a little forward movement – there was certainly nothing wrong with that. If he wanted to touch her a little bit (not too much, of course) it would be best to just let it move along naturally.
Shinji, however… did not try to touch her again that night.
Continued…
Author's notes: After only four weeks together, stress fractures are starting to show in Shinji and Misato's already tenuous relationship. When more pressure is brought to bear from an unforeseen angle, can Misato manage to keep it all together? And why, in the world, is Rei asking Shinji about sex??
Find out in the next chapter: Treading Lightly.
This chapter was not pre-read.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
