Disclaimer: see part 1

The Lifespan of a Love Affair.

By Random1377

Week 7: Losing Control.

"Damn it!" Misato swore, kicking the vending machine with the side of her boot.  "Give me my damn tea!"

Though the plastic on the front of the machine did buckle and pop back out with a satisfyingly loud thunking sound, the operations director found that she still did not have her tea. 

And patience.

"Fucking piece of shit!!"

"My my," Ritsuko said brightly as she came into the employee lounge, "coffee machine's still broken?"

"Ooooo!!!" Misato cried.  "I just wanted to relax for one fucking minute – is that too much to ask!?!  It's bad enough there's no beer machine!!"

She closed her eyes, holding onto her self control by her mental fingernails.

Two angels in one week, she thought tiredly, what a goddamned nightmare!

The battle inside the volcano had been tense – more so since Shinji was the one in danger.  What was supposed to be a milkrun had nearly turned into a deathrun for the young pilot when the angel awoke.  It was only thanks to some quick thinking and backup from Asuka (who, of course, took credit for the kill) that saved his life.

And I still haven't had more than a few minutes to see how he's holding up, she thought dismally. At least the power's back on…

"So," Ritsuko asked, walking up to the soda machine and slipping some change into it, "what were you and Kaji doing in that elevator, Captain?"

"Watch it, Ritsu," Misato growled, digging in her pocket for more change, "I'm not in the mood.  It's bad enough that I got stuck with that pervert, but you should see the stack of fucking paperwork I have on my desk to account for the holes in our defense."  She shook her head furiously.  "I swear – how can they print that many 'required' forms and get them on my desk in less than an hour!?"

"The wonders of modern technology," Ritsuko retorted dryly, taking her can of soda and popping the top.  "So where're the Children?"

"They're looking out at the city," Misato sighed, "Asuka's still on watch – yeah, I know it was her plan that killed the angel, but rules are rules – so she'll stay a few more hours, and Shinji and Rei will head home in a few, I guess…"

"Together?"

Misato's face reddened.  "That's not funny," she mumbled.

Ritsuko sipped her soda, eyeing Misato pensively over the edge of the can.  "You're awfully touchy about Shinji these days," she whispered, "first the thing about me talking to him… then his date with Asuka – oh don't look surprised, like I wasn't going to put two and two together when you came into work in a pissy mood the next day."  She took another sip and continued.  "And now you're snapping my head off when I even hint that he might have something with Rei.  So tell me…" she grinned broadly, "is being a mother not all you thought it would be?  Afraid someone's going to take your little Shin-"

"Shut up!" Misato shouted.  "I'm not his mother!  And I'm not worried that someone will take him from me, so just shut up about it!"

"So what then?" Ritsuko asked seriously, setting the can aside and assessing her friend.  "You really have been on edge lately… is it because Kaji's here, or what?"

Fuck Kaji, Misato thought angrily, damn prick.  Five hours in an elevator with Mister Hey How's the Underage Fucktoy?  Yeah, he is NOT someone I want to be talking about right now.  She sighed, thinking that, in all fairness, Kaji had been remarkably low key – even civil – during their time in the elevator.

"I've got a lot on my mind," she said finally, slipping her money into the vending machine.  "Shinji's just one of my concerns… and I guess I've been focusing on him a little more than lately, you know – with all the attacks and stuff."

"You know," Ritsuko said thoughtfully, tossing her can into the garbage and starting towards the door, "I almost believe you."  She raised a hand as Misato started to protest.  "Save it," she said quietly, "I'll catch up with you when we've both got some more free time."

Misato nodded as the blonde walked away, pushing the button on the machine to get a Diet Coke.

"Awww fuck you!" she cried.

The vending machine simply continued to flash, 'Selection not available.'

"Great…"

**

"I'm home…"

Shinji glanced up from the TV as Misato came into the living room and threw herself onto the couch at his side.  "Wasn't Asuka coming home with you?" he asked with a trace of guilt in his voice, "She said she was."

Misato nodded.  "She was," she confirmed, "but Ritsuko wanted her to stay for a few more tests… something about making sure the feedback from the acid falling on Unit 02 didn't affect her nerves or something, I dunno."

"Oh," Shinji shrugged, hesitating before asking, "Is everything ok?  You look a little, I dunno, worn out."  He smiled.  "You're usually so upbeat after we beat an angel."

Misato sighed, then slowly reached out and embraced him.  "I had kind of a hard day," she sighed, rubbing her cheek affectionately against his shoulder, "I'm just glad to be home."

"I was gonna cook a little late dinner, is that a good idea?" Shinji asked, tentatively putting his arms around the woman.  It was still strange for him to be that close to anyone – especially someone who, until recently, he looked at as a guardian – but it felt surprisingly good to have her against him… and in spite of his date with Asuka the week before, it felt honest.

Misato sat back, smiling happily.  "That would be great."

"Ok," Shinji nodded.  He rose to his feet and took a step towards the kitchen, but came up short when Misato kept his hand in hers.  "I… need that to cook," he told her, trying his best to emulate Kaji's cool, easy manner of speech.

Misato slowly pulled him back to her, saying nothing.

Shinji looked down into her face, an uncertain smile on his features as she simply held his hand and stared at him.  "N-not hungry?" he stammered lamely.  "Misato…?"

Very deliberately, the purple-haired woman tugged on his hand, pulling him closer and closer until he was standing between her legs and burying her face against his stomach.  You're too good, she thought, inhaling his scent and nuzzling his midsection as he hesitantly touched her hair.  Too good… too kind… too caring.  I need to step back from you, Shinji.  The things I want… the things I want to do to you – it gets harder every day not to just take you and… and…

"Misato?" Shinji murmured, confused by the normally boisterous woman's quiet, and by the small shiver that ran through her suddenly.  "Did you want me to cook something?" he asked quietly, not really knowing what to do.

This is how it always starts…

"Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

Misato pulled back and looked up at the boy, her lips parting slightly as she reached up and slipped her right hand around the back of his neck, drawing his mouth to hers.  Just a little kiss, she thought guiltily, leaning back onto the couch and bringing Shinji with her, I won't let it go farther than that, but after today… oh lord do I need this… and besides, she smiled against him, I think, after that 'date' with Asuka, he needs a liiiitle reminder of who he's REALLY going out with!

Five minutes later, the little reminder was still proceeding… though to say it was only a kiss would be stretching the truth.  Always before, Misato had made sure to keep herself in check, ensuring that nothing too intense happened with Shinji – partly because she was striving to keep their relationship moving at a slow pace and partly because she was scared of proving Ritusko right.  But this, she felt, was a special occasion.

After all… it had been a hard day, and her territory had been threatened.

I've been in bed in less time than this, she thought, caressing the back of Shinji's neck and savoring the clean, soft taste of his clumsily probing tongue.  He's so sweet… he hasn't even tried to touch me…  She caught herself before she could reach down and bring his hand from her waist to her chest, forcing herself to keep her cool.

Finally, they parted.  Shinji lay atop Misato, breathing hard and resting his head against her shoulder.  "Misato…" he panted, "that…"

"Shh…" Misato whispered, kissing the top of his head and stroking his back with her fingertips.

He's so… light… she thought suddenly, I mean really, really light.  He's all the way on top of me, but I'm comfortable.

A slow blush crept over her features as she wondered how many times she had been in this position without clothes.  There was no denying that they were situated intimately – especially since Shinji's body was cradled between her legs – but still, comfortable was the word that came to mind.

"You like this?" she whispered.

Shinji nodded.  "It's better than cooking."

Misato laughed as the boy paled, stammering an apology.  "Forget it," she said gently, hugging him tightly.  She drew in a deep breath.  "Now I'm hungry," she grinned.

Shinji blinked, then slowly rose to his feet.  "I'll, umm… cook…" he said uneasily, sensing a shift in the woman's mood and wondering what he had done wrong.

Misato smiled reassuringly, capturing his hand and squeezing it briefly.  "Would you?" she asked softly, running her thumb over the back of his hand.  "Then maybe later we can go out and do something?"

Shinji bit his lip pensively for a moment.  "Ok," he nodded, finding himself suddenly recalling the awkward, borderline clumsy kiss that Asuka had given him.  Just don't think about it, he told himself firmly, just… just go cook.

Misato watched him go, then stretched out on the couch, lacing her hands behind her head.  "Can't do that again for a while," she mused, felling a familiar tingling in her stomach, "mmmm… might not be able to stop next time…"  She closed her eyes, wetting her lips and trying to recapture the feeling of his mouth on hers. Slowly, her hands came down over her body, gliding smoothly lower until they reached their destination and lingering there as their owner imagined something besides her boyfriend's tongue parting her lips.

When Shinji came back to tell her that dinner was ready, Misato's hands were once again laced behind her head… though Shinji noticed that her cheeks were a bit flushed, and she had a very content looking smile on her face.

**

Asuka and Shinji walked towards school at a slow, unhurried pace, neither willing to be rush in spite of the fact that they were quite late.  Asuka cast the Third Child an assessing glance.  "Nice shooting yesterday," she said quietly, keeping her eyes facing forward.

Shinji blinked slowly, turning to face her.  "Thanks," he mumbled, turning back to look forward, "I couldn't have done it without you blocking the acid."

Asuka nodded. "I know."

There was a brief pause, then Shinji whispered, "I… saw that your sync ratio was a couple points down…"

Asuka's left foot hit the ground a bit harder than she had intended, and her brow drew down slightly as she replied, "Is that right…"

Shinji nodded.

Under normal circumstances, the conversation may have seemed like nothing more than idle chat between two children walking to school.  Aside from the topic of conversation, the tone was polite and non-threatening, and held the feel of two long-time associates having a friendly, quiet conversation.  Anyone that knew either Child, however, would have had one of two reactions: try to find out what was wrong, or run like hell, because Asuka was never that quiet and Shinji was never that open.

Most likely, option two would have been the most appealing.

"So," Asuka said coolly as they reached an intersection, "do you think you're better than me, Third Child?"

Shinji shook his head, keeping his attention on the streetlight and waiting for it to change to green.  "No," he said quietly, "I just noticed it, that's all."

"Oh."


The light changed, and the two continued walking.  As they reached the other side, Shinji's mind began working over the girl's comments.  Better than you? he mused, because my sync ratio's two points from matching yours?  No… I don't think that makes me better.  He frowned slightly.  The funny thing, he thought, is that – for a couple days, anyway – I WAS starting to think that I had you beaten in one way.  Yeah, that's right… I thought I was better at relationships – how funny is that?  Maybe after Misato's done with me, you-

"Did you like our date, Shinji?" Asuka asked suddenly.

Shinji glanced at her, but she was still looking ahead, and her voice held no hint of emotion whatsoever.  "Yes," he replied softly, making sure that he used the right words to express himself.  "I had a great time at dinner."

Asuka's hands slowly tightened on the straps of her backpack.  "Just at dinner?" she whispered.  When Shinji made no immediate reply, the redhead nodded.  "I see."

As the school came into sight, Asuka stopped walking.  "What is it?" Shinji asked, turning to look back over his shoulder as his steps took him past the girl.

Asuka looked down at the ground without answering for a minute.  I can't… do anything… she thought, her calm exterior offering no indication of the turmoil raging within her.  I HELPED beat the angel in the volcano, and I HELPED beat the angel with the acid… she bit her lip, slowly raising her eyes to look at the Third Child, but you… you're the one that gets the praise… you're the one that gets taken out to dinner by Misato… you're the one that already… already knows how to kiss… I ha

"…te you."

Shinji blinked.  "What's that?" he asked, leaning closer, "I didn't hear you."

"You're not better than me," Asuka whispered, trembling slightly as she looked through the other Child.  "I'm the best pilot – I know I am… you're nothing."  She stepped closer to Shinji, their eyes locking as she spoke.  "You… are… nothing, Shinji – do you understand?  Just because you're syncing better, and you know how to kiss, that doesn't mean you're any better than me."  She tilted her head to the side, her voice echoing with pity and disgust in Shinji's ears, even though she never raised or lowered it.  "I'm going to show everyone that you're nothing but a loser that's gotten lucky a few times, do you get it? I'll show everyone that you are…" she stepped past him, finally breaking eye contact, "nothing."

Caught completely off guard, Shinji could think of nothing to respond with other than, "Yeah…"

He stood still as Asuka's footsteps continued on towards school, wondering why he couldn't even ask her what he had done to deserve her harsh words.  Maybe I should go home, he thought, taking a shuddering breath, Maybe Misato-

He killed the thought before it could fully form, his shoulders slumping as he recalled the way his girlfriend had pushed him away the night before, leading him to believe that everything was ok and then sending him off to make dinner without even telling him what he had done.

Slowly… he turned and continued the walk to school.

Continued…

Author's notes:  When Kaji tells Misato exactly what's on his mind, how will she reply?  And what will the repercussions be when she knocks on Shinji's door that night?

Find out in the next chapter: Sleeping Together.

Pre-read was by LeperMessiah. Thanks.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com