Title: Reunification
Author: Lisbeth
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Synopsis: While attending grad school, Grace runs into someone from her past
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: It's what keeps me alive.
E-Mail: strangefruitgirl@hotmail.com
Chapter 9: Brown Eyes Running Scared
As Grace quietly snuck into her house, she was careful not to wake someone. She looked at the time on the coffee maker – 12:13 in the morning. It was much later than what she originally anticipated, but the night was much better than what she thought it would be also.
Grace held on to the black binder that August Dimitri gave her as she slowly crept up the stairs. She silently prayed that she wouldn't wake anyone up. She found it slightly unusual that Zoe was even asleep at this time. As Grace finally reached her room, she opened the door, slid in and closed the door slowly and silently. She turned on her light and turned around to see Zoe sitting in her chair with her headphones on attached to Grace's cd player.
"Geez Zoe! You're scared me!" Grace whispered. "What are you doing here?"
"I hope you don't mind me being here. I couldn't fall asleep so I came up here to listen to some of your cds. Grace, if you don't mind my saying, your taste is very……….interesting."
"Thanks, I think." Grace said as she put the binder in her booksack, hoping to pass it off as schoolwork.
"Don't
worry, I haven't been digging in your stuff."
"I wasn't worried." Grace said with a hint of worry in her
voice.
"Would you mind if I borrow a few of these cd's? I think I would like to use some of these for the next recital."
"Sure, just as long as they're given back to me the way that I gave them to you."
"So, did you have a good time?"
Grace looked up wondering if Zoe had caught on to what may have been going on. "Yeah, it was ok."
"It must have been better than that. Do you know what time it is?" Zoe asked.
"Ok, I had a really good time. In fact, it was better than what I expected. It was nice to get out. There, satisfied."
Zoe got out of the chair with a few cds in her hand as she walked towards the door. As she let out a long yawn, she wished Grace a good night and thanked her for letting her borrow the cds. Zoe closed the door and Grace could hear her younger sisters feet descending the stairs. Grace wasn't tired one bit. In fact, she felt as if she had just awoken from a long refreshing nap. Her night was wonderful, but she wasn't ready yet to reveal it to the world.
As she walked out of her room and into the bathroom, she carried her pajamas with her. It would only take her a few minutes to get ready for bed. Even though she wasn't tired, she had his binder for bedtime reading. It gave her a rush of excitement at the thought that she was going to jump into his world of prose for the second time, the first time being when she "borrowed" his book five years ago. As she brushed her teeth and washed her face, she doubled checked her eyes just to make sure that the giveaway signs to tears were no longer noticeable. She breathed in a sigh of relief.
Grace quietly walked back to her room and closed the door silently. She grabbed the binder out of her booksack and lied down on her bed. For a few moments she stared at the binder, letting her fingers softly graze the binder yet again. She was scared to tread into his world, but she knew that she wouldn't be at peace until she did it. As Grace opened the binder, she noticed that all of pages, thick pages, full of his words, full of his essence, were just waiting to be taken in. She felt as if she were nothing but a sponge, just waiting to soak up every single word on the pages to follow.
The first page was blank, but the second page was a simple table of contents. The binder was divided up into two sections, a poetry section and a short story section. Grace never would of guessed that August would even fathom writing short stories. It was both a shock and a surprise all at the same time. The poetry section was first.
Grace took in each poem, reading them word for word, some even two or three times. They were beautiful, sad, glorious, and amazing all at the same time. Some made her think while some had her on the brink of tears. She felt as if she had just discovered the lost works of Chekov and she was the very first person to read them. There is a special feeling that comes when one knows that they truly have first access to something, and Grace felt that when she read August Dimitri's poetry. Some of the poems were about his travels, some were about his musings on life both at a young age and at the crossroads of reaching forty. Some were about love. Grace hoped that somewhere, there would be a poem about their relationship, but she wasn't too sure if he would of put in into his collection. He was, after all, insecure about her possibly seeing someone, maybe he was simply exercising caution.
After about thirty or so poems, Grace's eyes were beginning to tire. Just as she was about to nod off into sleep, she figured one more poem wouldn't hurt her. She wiped her eyes in hopes that it would somehow take away some of the sleepiness in her. She tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ear and breathed in as she began the poem called "Brown Eyes."
I want to believe you when you say
"don't worry about them"
when we fool ourselves into thinking that the truth will set us free
but the truth may only lock the doors in our prison
the truth is you – you set me free
and they knew what would destroy me
and is it fair to say that I believe that I love you
but I am afraid to even believe it
I want to love you – but they don't believe in us
And they do control us as much as we hate to admit it
But still, I can't help but follow you
You, who still basks in the innocence
and Grace
Your tears are the life's force in me
While at the same time, the thing that could ruin me
it is something they would never understand
Yet still I want to believe you when I look into those brown eyes
Drink from the fountain that is your lips
To feel your hands and their light touch
Just to enter into the world that is you
I want to believe you
Grace knew immediately that the poem was for her. Tears were starting to glide down her cheek as she re-read the poem three times, taking in each word as if she had never heard it before. She knew that this was his poem to her. It was simple. It was beautiful. Grace closed her eyes remembering every single memory she ever had of him. They all came back to her with a crystal clear complexity. She looked at her alarm clock and it read 2:39am. As she read the poem over and over again, she began to memorize it word for word. Thoughts of bliss crept into her head at the thought that the two of them were indeed getting a second chance, but at what cost would it be in the end. And with that, she fell asleep, the binder still open to the page of the poem.
Grace shot up when she heard a knock on her door. The clock read 8:09am and Grace got up quickly and closed the binder.
"Yeah." Grace said.
"Hey honey, breakfast is ready." Lily said.
"Oh, ok. I'll be down in a few."
Grace began to dig through her closet for something to wear. She put the binder back in her booksack and threw it in her closet. She didn't want to risk anyone finding it by chance. As Grace walked downstairs, Zoe was eating breakfast along side Simon. Rick was reading an article out loud about a local political event going on.
"Good morning." Grace said to everyone.
"Hey sleepyhead. What time did you get back last night?" Lily asked
"After 12." Zoe blurted out.
"Really!" Lily said. "Must have been a good time."
"It was nice. We all went for coffee and took in a late movie at some old theater that shows nothing but old movies." Grace hated lying, but it seemed like it was the only thing she could do at that time.
"What movie?" Rick asked out of curiosity.
"Some Cary Grant movie, 'Bringing Up Baby,' I think."
"I love Cary Grant." Barbara said as she walked into the kitchen. "I wanted to marry him when I was younger. He was so debonair and charming. What girl didn't want to marry a Cary Grant?"
"Oh, the Orpheus Theatre. Every year for Halloween they show a screening of 'Nosferatu.' I heard about it from Lisa at school. It's like a midnight feature or something." Zoe asked.
"Cool." Grace responded.
"Well, I have to go. Dad wants me in a little early today. Some new shipment of books is supposed to come in. Hey Grace, want to come help?"
"I've got nothing on my roster today. I'll go by later to help you guys out."
"It's all happening!" Zoe said as she walked out of the door.
"That's her little saying." Rick said in response to the weird look Grace was giving the space Zoe just now occupied.
"Oh" Grace said as she grabbed an apple and began to climb the stairs back to her room. "Well, I'm going back to my room. I have a reading assignment to do."
Upon returning to her room, she pulled out the binder from her booksack and began to search for the page she stopped at. It wasn't too hard to find. As she found her poem, she re-read it once again, she found that she was actually looking forward to Monday. Monday she would be able to see him again. Grace knew that she would have the entire binder read by then and that thought brought a smile to her face.
As she continued reading his poetry she was pulled into his world yet again. She felt as if she knew what happened to him in those five years, he didn't even have to tell her. Grace was tempted to write comments next to some of his poems, but she didn't want to ruin his collection. She was sure he may have had backups, but she didn't want to take that chance. She then came to another poem – "Running Scared"
I have never been good with farewells
So I will not bother with one now
Because I know I will see you again
It will be here before we know it
So I will remember you in my thoughts
Your smile
Your face when you are thinking
Everything all around reminds me of you
And is it my fault if I am running scared
Grace could only smile, a sad one at that. He indeed did mourn the same way she did. It touched her in a way that nothing else had before. She felt a peace in those moments, knowing that some things were indeed going to be alright. They had found each other, and Grace wasn't going to let anything, or anyone ruin what they had the second chance to discover. She told herself that she couldn't let them be ripped apart again. The second time would probably be more unbearable than the first time. Grace hated keeping secrets from those she loved, but she knew that in some matters she had no choice. This was one of them. She wanted the moments the two of them shared to remain between the two of them.
Later on that day, Grace walked into Booklovers to help out with the incoming book shipment. The new Michael Chabon novel was coming out that week, and Jake wanted to make sure that everything was organized and ready to go for the books first day on the shelves. As Grace was flipping through the book, Zoe eyed her and slapped her hand.
"Hey, no peaking. I think that may even be illegal." Zoe said.
"No its not. I have to take a sneak peek though, how could one not." Grace said as she continued to flip through the pages.
"That's it, you have to move to the non-fiction section. You're here to help us out, not to read the books before anyone else can." Tiffany said jokingly.
"Fine. Besides, I think I spotted a new biography on Emily Dickinson over there." Grace said with a devious look in her eyes.
It was nice to spend the day with her father and Tiffany. Maddie was comfortable in the kids section, while Jake and Zoe handled the new fiction. As Tiffany and Grace counted and marked the new non-fiction novels, Grace's thoughts were pre-occupied with August Dimitri. She was still able to do her job, but Tiffany picked up on it all.
"So, who is he?" Tiffany asked.
"What?" Grace asked looking shocked.
"Don't worry, I won't tell your dad."
"There's no one." Grace said slowly, trying to believe it herself.
"You have a glow. You don't get that just by price marking some books."
"Well, you just don't know how much the new novel about the wives of Henry the VIII gets my heart racing." Grace said sarcastically.
"Ok, I can take a hint. I'm gonna drop the subject." Tiffany said. "You won't be able to hide him from us forever you know."
"There's no one to hide." Grace said looking down.
She knew that she wouldn't be able to pass it off looking straight at Tiffany. It was always easy for one to tell if she were lying; she would always keep her head down. Luckily, Tiffany dropped the subject, knowing that it would somehow reappear later. Tiffany observed Grace and knew just what was going on – Grace was in, or at least, falling in love.
The Sunday came just as fast as the Saturday did. Grace had stayed up until one that morning reading August's binder of work. She had started his short story section. There were three stories, each one being around ten or fifteen pages. Even though his stories were good, Grace felt closer to his poetry. She still found herself flipping back to some of the ones that had stayed in her mind. When someone would ask what she was reading, she would simply say that it was another student's work she was critiquing for one of her classes.
Jessie had come by that afternoon. As it turns out, Karen and Henry had finally decided to set a date for the wedding. It would be at a friend of Karen's who had a huge backyard perfect for a spring afternoon wedding.
"So, next April, a wedding should be happening at Mrs. Delroy's house. Yall should see the Delroy's backyard. It's so beautiful. It's like a backyard paradise. Mom and Henry are getting excited."
"That's great! It's about time, but I guess long engagements aren't necessarily a bad thing." Lily said.
"Please, I was beginning to lose all patience with them." Jessie responded as she laughed lightly.
As Lily walked upstairs to check up on Barbara, Rick was on the phone with one of his workers in another room. Zoe was out with a few friends for an afternoon movie, while Simon was in the backyard with his friend Peter. Grace was sitting at the table reading over the Sunday newspaper when Jessie sat across from her.
"Let me guess what you're going to ask." Grace said as she continued reading the arts section.
"Ok, guilty as charged. So, how was it?" Jessie asked with a smile on her face.
Grace put down the paper and looked up at Jessie. Her smile said everything that she couldn't yet put into words. "It was ethereal, amazing, unbelievable. I'm still coming up with words to describe it."
"So, tell me every little detail. I feel like I'm in high school again."
"Well, we talked about books and what not. We also talked about what happened. It was good to get everything out of our systems. He actually thought that I was seeing someone."
"How are things going to continue?"
"I'm still not too sure, but I don't really care about that. I just want to take every moment in one by one. I don't want to feel like we have to be in some sort of relationship."
"But you two already have one."
"I know, but I just want to take it as it comes. He actually gave me a collection of some of his work. Jessie, it's amazing. He needs to get it published."
"Did he write anything about the two of you?"
With that last question, Grace had a smile on her face and a look that told Jessie something was up. "I'm not saying anything." Grace responded.
Jessie laughed along with Grace as her eyes gazed across the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Katie won four tickets to see Coldplay in a few weeks. You want to come? We asked one of our friends, but he is going out of town that week. Maybe you could invite Mr. Dimitri." Jessie implied.
"I don't even know if he's a fan." Grace said.
"It won't hurt asking."
As Monday approached, Grace wanted to go to school early. Her intention was to check out a few books to aide her in research for her character analysis paper. The literature section was on the third floor of the library. Since it was early in the morning, not too many students were hanging around in the library, at least, not on the third floor. There was something about an empty library that would always creep Grace out. The aisles of books and empty tables just gave Grace a feeling that she was being watched. Pushing paranoia aside, Grace found the section of books she was looking for and began pulling out the ones she needed. As she began to walk towards a table, she looked to her right and saw August looking at her through the spaces of the books. He was four aisles down. As Grace began to walk towards the section with the tables, August followed suit. No words were exchanged – just glances and smiles.
"Hey." Grace said as they both reached the end of the aisles.
"What are you doing here so early?" August asked.
"Well, I came early to get a little bit of research done."
"Great minds think alike you know."
The two found a table that was away from the crowd, in the back of the third story floor. The lighting wasn't as bright as it was up front, but it gave anyone more than enough privacy if they so needed it.
"You know I won't be able to get any research done with you being here." Grace stated.
"That's the point." He whispered with a gleam in his eye.
Grace laughed. She pulled out his binder and placed it in front of her. "You have to get this published. The poems moved me." Grace passed her hands over the binder lightly, as if she would touch it, she would get burned. It was like a fire that warmed up her hands, but if she got too close would scorch them.
"I laughed. I cried. They made me think. I felt like I knew all of the things that you had done in our years apart without you even telling me. I saw green grasses of Ireland – the colors of India. I smelled the rain of London and touched the snow of Nova Scotia. It was the cheapest trip around the world I've ever taken."
"I'm glad that you enjoyed them. All of those places made me think of you. I would sit and think to myself just what would your reaction be to those places. Which one would you enjoy the most. Which places would you never want to leave. I wanted to see the world through your eyes, with all of that wonder, innocence, and the idea of discovery like a newborn baby."
"It's just that I'm not the doe eyed innocent you would like to believe I am." Grace said with a look that indeed cemented to August that she was no longer the little high school girl he once knew. She indeed had grown.
August smiled at her as he reached for her hands. All of a sudden they were cold, and he warmed them up for her. "I want you to keep that binder. That is your own personal copy."
"Thank you. You will send them off right?"
"Of course. All I needed was your ok. That was all that mattered."
"Well, you've got it."
The two sat at the table for a few moments talking about their research papers. Grace was in the process of getting the structure of her paper together, but nothing too big yet. August was still trying to find a character with enough intrigue to warrant a twenty page research paper.
"Hey, are you a Coldplay fan?"
"They're
good. Why?"
"Katie won four tickets to see
them in a few weeks. Jessie suggested
that I ask you to come."
"Since when has your stepsister become one of our allies?"
"I don't know. But her support and advice is priceless." Grace said with a smile. "So, will you come with us?"
August leaned forward still grasping Grace's hands in his, and gave her a suggestive smile. Grace leaned in to match him. "I wouldn't miss it for the world" he replied.
After not getting hardly any research done, Grace looked up at the wall clock and noticed that her first class was going to start in fifteen minutes. She started to put her books back into her bookbag.
"I have to go. My first class starts in fifteen."
"You can skip it."
"Why, Mr. Dimitri, are you suggesting I miss out on my education?"
"Guilty as charged."
"I'll see you in a few hours. So, are you going to sit next to me again, or you don't like the view."
"We'll see." August responded.
