Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, I really do. Especially the ones with the deep eyes you can just fall into.*ahem* Excuse me, didn't mean to go all sappy on you. Not. Mine. Thank you.

To my loyal reviewers:

Aldarona-Finarfin: I'm very glad you like it, and even happier that you reviewed! Please don't be afraid to make suggestions and offer opinions!

Firebird: Thanks ever so much for your review, I am honored that you are still reading this. You have no idea how pleased I am!

Hikaness: Welcome, welcome! I'm pleased to add you to my thank you list! I hope you keep reading!

Starbrat: Ah yes! Now there is an interesting thought. I might have to try it. LOL. This is *your* chapter, because you are another of my first reviewers! And I've read some of your work and enjoyed it. So from a fellow author, thanks!

Mizalaye: Yay! I'm so happy you're still with me, I value your reviews a lot! I'm especially gratified that you liked the last chapter, I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out.

Whew! I'm trying to visit all of your guys' FF.net pages and read some of your stuff in return, so bear with me if I am slow getting chapters out. Thanks, and now onward! Oh, and Christine Linnell is the genius behind "The Fanfic Lounge".

TRAPPED AS A MARY SUE

Chapter Five

Oh dear God, no. Katie prayed, cringing away from the poor out-of- character Ranger. She was steeling herself for another pathetic and equally horrible innuendo that would probably end up as a prelude to a kiss, when Aragorn handed her a light elvish sword, plus a bow and quiver of arrows.

What in the name of St. Agatha does he expect me to do with *these*? she demanded to herself irritably.

"So you can defend yourself, Lady," he informed her, almost as if he had heard her thoughts.

"I see. And pray tell, when am I to *learn* how to defend myself?" Katie asked in a voice dripping with sour honey.

Apparently, something along those lines were what the author was looking for, because Aragorn smiled (an expression that showed far too many crooked teeth, despite whatever the author had been trying to picture) and leaned closer.

Katie could not turn away, and Meriweather was at her brightest and best. "I shall teach you, Meriweather."

"I look forward to it, Strider," was the Mary Sue's coy reply.

Someone kill me now! Katie shrieked.

ZIIP! An arrow flew past the girl's nose, and she jerked back in response. Legolas stood at the head of the steps leading into the garden. Meriweather/Katie glared in the elf's direction.

"What do you think you're doing?"

What does he think he's doing?!

At that precise moment, the Mary Sue's thoughts and those of the desperately trapped fan that was Katie merged in a sudden inexplicable crash of sound and light. All of a sudden, things seemed to be compounded, overlaid. There were two Aragorns occupying the space of one. They were like shadows, wrestling with one another.

Katie observed with fearful awe as the warrior that clearly was the true Aragorn battled with the totally different character the author had created. The Ranger's rugged features were contorted in silent agony, as he tried again and again to assert his true personality through the shadow that was the author's version.

The girl within the Sue swung her gaze to where the hobbits were clustered together near Bill the pony. The same scene confronted her, with Merry and Pippin being the most ferocious of the strugglers. Slowly the concept dawned upon her. The more the two apparitions that were the characters fought, the more out of character they were, if that made any sense.

Boromir seemed to be waging a war against his false self, fighting with all the passion and feeling he had so long been denied through the incoherent and insubstantial plot. Gimli, standing next to the man of Gondor and frowning openly at Meriweather, seemed to be himself.was he free?

But Legolas.Legolas was truly the puzzle. There was no second shadow plaguing the elf, save for an occasional flicker. What did it mean? A sneaking suspicion slowly grew. The author had said that Legolas loathed Meriweather.and indeed as much had been proven, though he had yet to openly confront her. Surely the true Legolas must also hate the Sue's very presence also. In most senses then, the Mirkwood elf was free, ghosting in and out with the canon.

Sudden realization took over, and Katie peered at her own self. Two shadows, but they stood as one being. She could see the form of Meriweather, lustrous black hair and all, but there was also her true body, clad in her green dragonfly pajamas. An idea slowly formed, and Katie did not hesitate to act upon it.

"Estel!" she hissed, trying to get the true Aragorn's attention.

With a resounding clash of sound and light, Middle-Earth snapped back into its twisted reality. It was as if no time had passed at all. Legolas still stood poised on the stairs, and Aragorn was angrily berating him for frightening Meriweather.

As the wood elf murmured an apology that was obviously not one at all, Gandalf emerged from an inner room and followed him.

"My companions," the wizard began, "we have a long journey ahead of us. We'll head for the Rainy Mountains-"

"The *Misty* Mountains, you imbecile!" Katie managed to yell before the author forced her to clam up, giving all speech and movement to Meriweather.

"-and if we find any trouble, we'll go instead over Caradhras." The Istari glanced around as if asking for questions. When there were none forthcoming, he pointed in one direction with his staff and proclaimed as if it were some monumental moment, "Onward!"

[Kind of short, I know. But inspiration struck, and I didn't want to make you guys wait to see another plot twist. As suggested by D45, would a love triangle be of any interest? Leave a review, and tell me yay or nay, and who you think it the other guy should be. Thanks!]