A/N: Ok, so this chapter is very funny . . . At least to my friends and I who have jointly written it. I hope that you enjoy it since the first chapter wasn't all that funny to begin with. But I guarantee that this one is very funny. Hope that you enjoy it!
A/N2: I just had to let this plot bunny loose. I'm still working on The Marauders and book 3, don't worry. It'll be up very soon, I promise!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Prisoner of Azkaban DVD (or could I since it's not even out . . . *ponders question* . . . I'll get back to ya on that one) or any of the Harry Potter ppl. So you can't sue me! Hahaha! Nener nener nener! But wait! I do own London, Adri and Janey since they are technically my characters . . . or at least I share them with my friends.
Ch. 1 - Year 5 at Hogwarts with the HP gang.
The three girls landed on the sweeping lawns of Hogwarts with a muffled thump.
"That hurt!" Janey said, getting to her feet wiping off her butt. "Can we not do that again? Please?!... I mean I'm all for self
mutilation . . . but c'mon . . . this is my ass for Merlins sake!" Adri clamps her hand over Janey's mouth even as Janey
continues to rant about her quite nice (*cough*) ass. ("Mmmnnpth ffllthrlmn mmmnnthflrrp." Janey said.)
"Um, guys," Adri said, looking around, "Where are we? I hope we're where I think we are?" (::crickets chirp::) "Did that
make any sense?"
London and Janey shook their heads in a definite "No." ("Mmnth.")
"Oh sorry Janey," said Adri removing her hand . . . "But I can't help feeling that I like you better that way."
Janey glared and was about to rant some more about . . . about unappreciative friends -- and her nice ass -- but this time London clamped her hand over Janey's mouth. She suddenly looked and motioned to the others over to where they noticed that there was a large group of people who looked to be wearing black dresses.
"Guys, I think we're at Hogwarts!" London squealed excitedly.
The others looked at her in shock.
"What?!" ("Mnnfrpll?!" )
"Look over there," London said, pointing with her unoccupied hand to the large group of people. "They're wearing cloaks with the Hogwarts crest and they're right in front of Hagrid's hut. It must be Care of Magical Creatures class!" London squinted to get a better look. " See the green and red specks . . . I think it's Gryffindors and Slytherins . . . I believe. That means - "
"HARRY'S THERE!" Adri shouted. She took off at a run but was cut short when London and Janey grabbed the back of her sweatshirt and yoinked her back onto the ground. "LEMME GO! LEMME GO!"
"Nadrflpth," Janey said, for once using logic, "Mmm nthrl fllpr grrmndrl flpthrla rmnnthlp mnthrflap flmnethrpl thrnmrapl flmnpth."
Her two friends stared at her a minute before pulling out their copies of Gibberish . . . Understanding Janey is an Art . . . Not a Science. subtitled: Like I Could Ever Pass Science Anyway. And translated what their dear friend had just said.
"Hmm," said Adri flipping through the pages . . . "It could have meant 'Finish that telephone and let's go play football with my cat.' or 'They don't even know who we are. Even though we know almost everything about them.'
"Hmm," continued London . . . "I vote for the first one."
Janey glared at London as Adri put the book back in the hood of her sweat shirt and stood staring at the group.
"But I wanna go see Harry," she whined again.
"I know, Adri," London said, "but we gotta see what year this is and see how we're gonna get home. I don't think that it'll be a good idea if we stay here permanently."
"Flthrp!" Janey shouted. "Mnthrlpr flpyther yujthr rmine mnnthrap grr pthrapl munmmsk," She added dreamily.
Adri grabbed the book out of her hood and flipped through it before she found the correct translation. "I disagree . . . I'd like to stay here as long as we can. If that means forever, so be it. And I can see Draco." She dead panned for the rest of the group to hear.
London rolled her brown eyes and pulled the two drooling girls ("Eww . . . Janey, you're drooling all over my hand!") towards the front steps of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"C'mon, now," London said, dropping Adri on the cool tiles of the entrance hall.
"Ow!" said Adri indignantly. "How come you didn't drop her too?!"
London rolled her eyes. "Because if we don't keep her close she'll run off and jump Draco . . . poor boy. Besides . . . her big mouth will just get us into more trouble . . . not to mention . . . I'm just really tired of hearing her talk."
"Oh," said Adri blinking "Don't worry . . . me and my bruised ass understand completely."
"Fllthraplt thrump," Janey replied mockingly.
London rolled her eyes again.
" Too right' your ass, Jane," London said. (::Alan Rickman Impression::) "It never ends."
Janey and Adri stared at London in surprise.
"Um . . . right . . . Let's just go find Dumbledore's office and see what he can do to help us."
The three girls walked up to the third floor to where the entrance of Dumbledore's gargoyle was located. When they
arrived, they realized that they didn't know the password.
"London, what's the password?" Janey asked, finally pulling off London's hand from her mouth.
"How the hell should I know?" London replied angrily. "It's not like I memorize the whole movie or book!"
"Um, London," Adri said tentatively, "you do memorize those things. Remember the Sorcerer's Stone? Say Flitwick's lines when Hermione levitates the feather."
"Hoho! Well done! See here everyone! Miss Granger's done it!" London said in Flitwick's high squeaky voice.
"See?"
"Damn."
"OK," Janey said. "So what's the password? I kinda want to get sorted if we're going to stay."
"Blood Pops?"
The gargoyle stayed put.
"Caldron Cakes?"
Still, nothing.
"I DON'T KNOW!" London shouted. "HOW CAN I REMEMBER A PASSWORD IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YEAR IT IS?!"
Suddenly, a middle-aged man walked around the corner nearest to the gargoyle. He was no taller than 5'11" and had sandy colored hair mixed with grey. His robes were tattered and hung loosely against his frame. His amber eyes stared right into London's brown ones.
"Are you all right?" the man asked. It was Remus Lupin.
"Yeah," London said dreamily.
"UM, EXCUSE ME," Janey said loudly as Adri backhanded London out of her trance, "What year is it?"
Lupin looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. "1995? Why?" A look of realization crossed his face. "Wait? Are you students here? I've never seen you here before . . . "
"Oh! We're transfer students from Salem," Adri said quickly. "Just got here. Plane was delayed for a day due to heavy rain."
"What's a plane?"
Adri looked between Janey and London for support. "A plane," she said, "is a big tin can that flies in the air. If you're lucky . . . and your usually not . . . It won't crash in a blazing fiery hell, spewing flaming jet fuel every where." Janey looked at her trying to hold back a snort.
"Ok . . ." Lupin stared at them for a second before going back the way that he had come from rather quickly.
"REMMY!" London shouted, running around the corner. She looked desperately around the short hallway, and finally, after realizing that he wasn't there anymore, walked slowly back to the gargoyle.
"Gone?" Janey asked, quietly.
London nodded sadly and shivered.
"I feel all alone . . . and cold like . . . . . ." A light of realization seemed to flicker on behind London's eyes. "Is it . . . Ice Mice?"
The gargoyle suddenly came to life and jumped to the side, revealing the escalator-like stairs that led to the Headmaster's office.
London did a small yet (very ::cough::) stupid victory dance in front of the gargoyle. "I'm good," she sang. "I'm so good!"
"LONDON, YOU PRAT, LET'S GO!" Adri shouted from the stairs.
London Looked up to where Adri and Janey were standing. "Oops! Coming!" she shouted, jumping onto the moving stairs.
The three of them stood facing the wooden door with apprehension in their eyes . . . . Well . . . two of them did anyway. . . . . They argued among themselves who would knock on the door, and Janey was chosen, since she kept making a fuss about it. ("Lemme do it! I wanna do it! Let me DAMMIT!") But the door was suddenly opened by Dumbledore himself, who was almost hit in the face by Janey's fist, making him take a quick step back.
"What the - " Dumbledore started. Looking through his half moon spectacles at the girls, he swore lightly in surprise. "HOLY SHIT!"
"Professor!" London shouted. "Watch you language! In case you haven't noticed, there are two young children who are easily influenced."
Adri and Janey looked at her with pure hatred. "HEY! We represent that!"
London burst into hysterical laughter. "Don't you mean resent that?" she said between snorts of laughter.
"WHATEVER!" they shouted.
As the girls argued, Dumbledore looked at each of them, trying to figure out why they were here and where they had come from.
"Um . . . excuse me?" Dumbledore said tentatively, as not to anger them. "Who are you? And why are you here?"
"I," London said, " am London. And these are my friends, Janey and Adrianna, also known as Adri."
"Bridges," Adri coughed. "Bridges!"
"What did you say?! Ooh! I'M GOING TO MUTILATE YOU! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" she screamed as she launched herself at the other two.
Adri shrieked and ran away as fast as she could. "Janey!... Save me!!! SAVE ME!!!" Janey snorted and moved out of the way as Adri ran toward her for protection from the now incredibly pissed London.
Adri somehow managed to dodge the attack and ran into the office, where London chased her around and around (and around... and around... and around ::authoress gets dizzy... Weee.... This is so fun:: and around... and around... ::points:: Look... everything is going by so fast... desk... desk... desk... desk... line... line... line ::closes eyes:: Someone help!... This is SO not cool anymore ::rushes to bathroom::) Anyhoo . . . . London is chasing Adri . . . and Janey is standing next to the headmaster in mock seriousness.
"I call this piece . . . 'The tragedy of Adrianna' It represents my emotional . . . and sensitive side . . . while exposing my inner fears and insecurities."
Dumbledore snorted and stupefied London and Adri . . . before they destroyed more of his office. Janey looked at her friends on the ground before clapping the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically and fainting to the ground with a loud thump.
"You killed them! You killed them you big... MEANIE!!!"
Dumbledore rolled his eyes. "Enough!" Dumbledore yelled, freeing them. "If you would be so kind and please take a seat, I would like to know where you bloody well came from."
Adri decided to be brave for once and told him how they had been watching the Prisoner of Azkaban DVD ( "It's a sort of a movie based on a book about Harry Potter's third year here, at Hogwarts, sir.") when London hit her fist against the screen of the TV because Hermione had been cruel to Remus. ( "She hurt his feelings!" London shouted indignantly.) Then she told him how the TV had glowed very bright and sucked (not like that you perves) them in. She even told them how Janey and London had held her back and how London had dragged her and Janey almost the whole way to his office and even their encounter with the real Remus J. Lupin.
"I see that you've already had an adventure, even though you three aren't students here." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. "But since it is already past the start of term, we shall have a special Sorting Ceremony tonight at dinner. You will stay here until we find a way for you three to return home. But until then, I shall have one of the professors take you to Diagon Alley for your school supplies. Would Remus Lupin be all right for the job?"
"YES!" London shouted, jumping out of her seat. "PLEASE! OH MY GOD, YES! YAY YAY YAY! REMMY'S COMING WITH US! REMMY'S COMING WITH US!"
Adri and Janey pulled London back into her seat.
"Are you stupid?!" Janey whispered into London's right earlobe. "We're not witches! We're Muggles! You know what's gonna happen when we try and get a wand . . . NOTHING! You stupid!"
"But I wanna be a witch!" London whined. "And I wanna be with Remmy."
"SHUT UP, LONDON!" Adri whispered loudly. "Oh, she's just going through her stages. First she wants to be a witch then she wants to be a Muggle. . . then she want to be Doctor Doolittle and talk to the fishes . . . and the whales and the little salamanders with scales . . . . She does this every day. It's quite normal for her," Adri explained to Dumbledore when she saw his confused look.
"All right then," Dumbledore said. "You shall stay here, in the castle, until you are needed down at the Great Hall. I will send Minerva up for you. Until then, you are free to roam about on one condition: DO NOT DISTURB THE CLASSES!"
"Yes'm," they said meekly.
Dumbledore quickly led them out of his office and back to the corridor.
"I shall see you at the feast tonight," he said and disappeared around the corner.
London narrowed her eyes at Dumbledore's retreating back. "You'll definitely see us at the feast. And it'll be one that you soon won't forget."
^O^
By the time that the evening feast had come around, the three of them were already extremely tired. (Janey: ::whines:: ::sits against wall pretending to be dead:: I'm not getting up... and you can't make me.... So there ::sticks out tongue:; ::remembers that she's supposed to be dead:: ::gasp:: ::dramatic faint::) After leaving Dumbledore's office, they wandered around, looking for each of the Houses' locations and only managing to find the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses. Minerva caught up with them as they were nearing Trelawney's tower.
"Dammit!" Janey whispered loudly as they saw Minerva's approaching figure. "And we were so close, too!"
"Come along," she said sternly, and the three followed closely and silently behind, knowing to keep on her good side . . . . OR ELSE!
"We'll enter here," McGonagall said, opening a large wooden door that lead right them right behind the high table. "They're ready for you now."
McGonagall ushered them into the Great Hall, students turning around in their seats to take a good look at the newcomers.
"Please settle down," Dumbledore said loudly, causing the entire school to (erm . . . ) chill out. "Thank you. I would like for you to please welcome the newest students to Hogwarts. They will be staying here for an undisclosed amount of time until they are able to go home without any harm to us or themselves."
Panicked whispers broke out across the Great Hall at the mention of being harmed by the girls. .(Yeah... because we're sooo scary ::Adri laughs:: Actually... Janey... you are pretty scary....)
"Now, I would like to introduce them to their new houses. Mrs. Snape, if you would be so kind?"
A middle-aged woman with shoulder length black hair and hazel eyes walked out from the shadows behind the head table. She was of average height and in her hands she held the ancient Sorting Hat and its three-legged stool. She placed the stool and hat in front of Dumbledore, nodded and walked back to where she had come from.
"Now, when I call your name," McGonagall said, "Come forward and I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head. Adrianna!"
Adri walked up to the stool and faced McGonagall.
"The name's Adri," she said through clenched teeth. "Not Adrianna.
"MS. MACK . . . please sit down on the stool."
Adri muttered darkly.. but sat down on the stool anyway... a sullen look adorning her (Janey ::whispers behind hand:: Down right ugly) usually cheerful face.
McGonagall placed the hat on Adri's head and stepped back quietly.
"Ahh yes," the sorting hart whispered in her ear. "I see greatness . . . . oh yes . . . And much courage . . . but there's something that looks like loyalty and devotion to your friends . . . quality Hufflepuff material . . ."
"Not Hufflepuff!" Adri whispered. "God no! I wanna be in Gryffindor with Harry!"
"But there's also some smarts and lack of respect for the rules . . . good qualities for Slytherin and Ravenclaw . . . . but I feel that you would do so much better in HUFFLEPUFF!"
Adri quickly stood up and screamed.
"I AM NOT A MOTHER FUGGIN HUFFLEPUFF!!!"
She plucked the hat off of her head, threw it to the floor and stomped on it, screaming like a two-year-old the entire time. She then picked up the hat from its crumpled position on the floor and began to shake it like a rag doll. Adri dropped the hat back onto the floor and ran over to Snape, where she roughly grabbed his robes.
"DO I LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN HUFFLEPUFF TO YOU?!?!?!" she screamed at Snape's face, shaking him with each word spoken.
Adri quickly stopped shaking the Potions master as the sound of laughter reached her ears.
London and Janey watched silently as the scene played on in front of them.
"She's lost it," Janey whispered frantically.
"AM I AMUSING TO YOU . . . DO I LOOK LIKE A JOKE??!!"
Cautiously, Harry stood up. "What exactly DO jokes look like?" he asked sarcastically.
"Awww . . . HE'S SO CUTE!!!"Adri squealed.
Janey and London quickly yoink her back as she attempts to maul Harry. (::Harry looks adorably confused::) Janey and London dragged her to the Hufflepuff table, kicking and screaming.
"Oops!!" Janey said, dropping Adri at the table. "I dropped Xander."
The Hufflepuffs looked at her like she was insane( . . . which she was . . . ).
Janey looked around at the sea of astonished faces around her.
"What?!... I did I did!!"
"Keep him in your pocket from now on dear," London said with an exasperated sigh.
"O-tay!" Janey said perkily as she preceded to crawl on the floor searching for her imaginary friend.
While she was down there, however, she just happened to notice that quite a few shoe laces were undone. With a prank forming in her (*cough*) small mind ( ::glare:: That is so not true... I'm smarter... and taller than you.... ::sticks out tongue:: So there!... ::Adri rolls eyes:: ... Why does she always bring up the fact that she's the tallest??!!... London: ::scoff:: By all of a quarter inch), she preceded to crawl up and down under the table tying the Hufflepuffs . . . including Adri . . . to the table . . . and to other Hufflepuffs. After she performed her prank, Janey crawled out from underneath the Hufflepuff table, ending up right in front of the Headmaster . . .
Dumbledore cocked his left eyebrow and Janey gave him a friendly, innocent wave.
"Hi Dumbly-door!!!" She said in a high squeaky voice. "Look at Xander!!! He's my friend!!!" Her face was suddenly wiped clean of any perkiness. " ......And you're not."
London turned to face the Professors . . . who were either . . . a) Trying not to laugh their asses off at Janey's antic . . . . or b) (in Sev's case) Looking incredibly pissed . . . . (Hey you would be too if that psycho Adri had mauled you ::Bad thoughts:: Not like that...)
"I've got some sedatives in my bag. Would you like for me to use them?"She pointed to Janey, who was now crawling on the floor 'playing' with Xander.
Dumbledore merely smiled and nodded.
"C'mere Janey!" London said in her 'little dog' voice. "C'mere girlie gurl . . . Janey want sugar? ...... Yesh you do! Yesh you do!"
Janey got a strange look on her face and London realized that Janey was wagging her imaginary tail and sniffing for the nonexistent sugar. Professor Flitwick leaned over closer towards London.
"Is she quite alright?"
"No... of course she's not alright.... not mentally.... But physically she's fine... That's JaneyDog."
Flitwick nodded his head pretending to understand. London reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a sugar cookie. She handed the sugar cookie (that contained a tranquilizer pill) over to the now rabid Janey.
"Hey!" Janey shouted, biting into the cookie. "THAT'S NOT SUGAR!!! IT'S . . . IT'S . . . mmmmmmm . . . " A small river of drool cascaded down the side of here face. "Sedatives."
The pill began to take its effect and her eyes went glassy.
"YUMMY!!!"
Back at the Hufflepuff table, Adri happened to glance over at Gryffindor table, where she had just spotted Harry watching the action unfold at the front of the room.
"HARRY!!"
She jumped up to 'yoink' Harry and suddenly the Hufflepuff table was much closer to the Gryffindor table.
Adri cocked her right eyebrow and she donned her clueless look. "Since when are my shoes so heavy??!!" She took a quick glance back. "Oops . . . "
During this time, the entire staff was now shaking in silent laughter. Thankfully, Trelawney hadn't come down for the feast or she would've kept telling anyone that would listen that she "had foreseen it in her inner eye". They would've ignored her anyway, the crazy git.
Janey quietly sat on the floor, playing with her shoelaces and creating little puddles of drool around her while London got sorted. Janey looked up at the teacher in front of her, which was Snape. . (dun dun dun... Of course it was.... it always is...poor Snapey Wapey) She blinked once . . . blinked again . . . . and then her eyes crossed and she waved to Snape with an insane smile on her face.
"Hiiiii."
Snape looked at her and did his best Alan Rickman face. To his surprise and horror, Janey reached back into her hood and pulled a Code Red Mountain Dew out. Snape and the others noticed that she is having a hard time getting it opened.
"Can't -get-OPEN!!!"she screamed, slamming it on the floor with each syllable. "Must-open!!! Getting-weaker!! MUST - HAVE . . . SUGAR!" She suddenly fainted from lack of air (or sugar).
The Mountain Dew bottle instantly opened.... with all the perfect timing of an evil...villainous bottle... , spilling its contents over her now white shirt. The whole school looked relieved, knowing that she'd be out for hopefully the rest of the sorting . . . . but they were also saddened that their entertainment was now gone. They were so wrong.
Everyone turned to face the head table, seeing as though London was now sitting on the stool (chanting something under her breath).
"I don't know her . . . I don't know her . . . I don't know her . . . " A look of realization crossed her face. "DAMMIT! I do know her!"
"London!" McGonagall shouted in a slightly shaky voice.
McGonagall quickly picked up the ragged Sorting Hat, walked over to where London sat and dropped the hat on London's head, where she walked away very quickly.
At this point in time, London was talking to the voices that occupied the space in her head and was whispering incoherent sayings to herself. "Janey is sooo embarrassing . . . why am I her friend again . . . I want chicken I want Liver . . . Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver . . . I wonder how Meow Mix tastes . . . What do you think it tastes like?" She added to the Hat.
Even from underneath the hat, London could feel it cocking its nonexistent eyebrow. "Whom are you talking to dear?" it asked.
"The voices in my head. I've got three!" She holds up four fingers. "Their names are Billy Bob, Mary Sue and Gary Stu. Would you like to meet them?" (::Ralph voice::) They tell me to bu-rn things!"
The Hat looked shocked at this thought and quickly shouted, "GRYFFINDORK!"
London stood up, pulled the hat off her head placed it back on the stool. She bent over and softly patted the hat.
"Good boy-o! Aren't you glad you listened to my voices?"
London then quickly skipped over to Gryffindor table, "accidentally" kicking Janey on her way over. She jumped and landed between our favorite twins, Fred and George. With a sly grin plastered on her face, London deftly pulled a small plastic object filled with a blue liquid out of her pocket. An insane smile lit up London's face as she shoved the object in Fred's face.
"Lighter!!!" she said, grinning and lighting it up.
"Ooh!" Fred and George, clueless about Muggle objects, innocently poke the flame. Their eyes widen and they pull their fingers away quickly in pain.
"IT BIT ME!" they said indignantly.
"Damn Straight!" the flame said in a husky voice.
"She likes you," London said to the twins with a grin. "I can tell."
Anyway . . .
Janey had finally woken up on the cold stone floor of the Great Hall. She rubbed her head where she had landed after being knocked out by the sedatives and plucked at her now wet shirt with confusion etched on her face.
"Ooh," she mumbled. "Wet Dream . . . "
Unfortunately, Draco had overheard her and looked at her strangely. To his surprise and horror, Janey blew him a kiss and Draco tried to put some distance between them. He may have found her highly amusing but he wasn't about to find out what psychotic things that she was capable of. Even though he wouldn't admit it to anyone else, Draco found that he was slightly attracted to Janey. (More than slightly you big..... jerk!...)
"Janey!" McGonagall shouted, relief rushing across her face, seeing that this was the last person to be sorted.
Janey stood up quickly . . . yet . . . calmly??!! (A/N . . . Is that possible??!!) . . . . And sat on the stool . . . but she soon realized something was wrong . . . She deducted that she must have just sat on the poor hat . . . since muffled screams could be heard coming from underneath Janey's ass.
"I have a arse . . . on my face -- a quite nice one -- Ahhh . . . help!!"
Janey stood up and picked up the now flat hat, popped it up and blinked. . . . blinked again . . . . blinked once again.
"Do0d . . . I just sat . . . on a talking hat. HEY!!... I'm a poet and I don't even know it!! (*pauses for air*) Wait . . . yeah I do . . . now . . . no wait . . . that doesn't count . . . does it?! . . . Argh . . . m'confoozeled."
Janey blinked and her eyes crossed in confusion. She quickly put the hat on head. The hat mumbled some incoherent thoughts as it continued to . . . erm . . . think about it . . .
As the hat figured out where to sort her, Janey was 'thinking' about her 'evil plot' to get Draco in a 'closet' . . . 'alone' . . .
The Hat cringed and started muttering to itself about cruel and unusual punishment as Janey continued to plot. Suddenly the Sorting Hat screamed.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH . . . BAD MENTAL IMAGES!!!.... GO JUST GO . . . CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT IS AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION . . . NO WAIT!!!! I'M IN SCOTLAND!!!...." The hat was suddenly calmed down by an unknown force. "Did you ever consider a job in the dark arts . . . You know . . . the torture 'mommy please help me' kind?.... No?!.... Well . . . you should . . . You're VERY good . . . not like that . . . "
Janey looked at the hat sadly. "Sorry . . . no can do . . . " (:: does the Dr. Evil pinky::) I lack that . . . what is the word I'm looking for here . . . magical . . . prowess . . . (::looks hopeful::) Does this mean I'm a Slytherin?....."
The hat thought for a moment before shrugging its nonexistent shoulders.
"Meh . . . " it replied.
With a happy jolt, Janey got up and walked to Slytherin table and preceded to shove (not like that) Goyle off of his chair. Janey then plopped herself next to Malfoy, wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve and snorted.
"Hiiiii," she said with a dreamy smile on her face.
Draco blinked in confusion. (A/N.... authors ::cough:: Liz and Brit ::cough:: Would like to mention that Adri is now.....erm.....ergh..... argh.... 'Busy'.... Please take a number.... not like that!... We'll get back to you..... Not like that..... JEBUS.... get your minds out of the gutter) Then, he blinked again. (AN ...in case you forgot)
Suddenly, Janey reached back into the hood of her shirt and pulled out . . . a tooth brush.
"Nope . . . that's not right," she mumbled.
Left over spaghetti.
"Nope . . . still not right."
Suddenly, she pulled out a mangy looking rat that looked remarkably like Scabbers (since it was Scabbers), that had a light dusting of frosting on its whiskers.
"HEY!!" Janey shouted angrily. "So that's what happened to my cup cake!"
Janey then began to shake Scabbers like a toy that hadn't been working. Scabbers blinked rapidly as he was shaken continually but the psychotic Janey.
"Hey . . . London . . . Lookie . . . a Mousie!! I'm gonna buy a cage . . . and . . . um . . . what do mice-ies eat now? (::shrug::) Oh well! He'll get cup cakes then . . . And I'm gonna buy a wheel and make him run . . . and name it . . . CUP CAKE!!!."
Janey began to poke the rat with growing enthusiasm.
"I want that cup cake back . . . and soon." Janey glared at the rat with her evil eye and Peter (erm . . . Scabbers) cowered under her Glare of Death.
London blinked rapidly as she processed what Janey had just said.
"Oh shit!" London said as she ran over to Janey.
She yoinked Peter from Janey's hands.
"Hey you bitch!!" Janey yelled standing on the bench and Draco's hand (accidentally, of course). "That was MY mouse . . . He was in MY hood and ate MY cup cake dam-nit!!!'
London patted Janey's head and handed her a Dr. Pepper from her bottomless pit knapsack.
"YAYNESS!" Janey screamed, jumping off the bench and allowing the blood to flow back into Draco's hand. "THAT'S WHAT I WAS LOOKIN' FOR . . . HOW DID YOU KNOW??!!"
London, who was still holding the mouse/rat by its tail . . . . patted Janey's head again. "Psychic-lologist dear."
"Cool!" Janey said, once again smiling like a crazed manic .
She chugged the entire can of pop in one go as the Slytherin watched in amusement. Pain flashed over her face, slightly worrying Draco (Janey: ::cackles:: I knew he liked me!!) Who happened to be sitting right next to her . . . and didn't want to get chucked on (damn). She put her hand to her stomach and took a few deep breaths . . . . then . . . . bbbbuuuuurrrppppp.
She put her hand to her mouth and started laughing insanely, snickers, laughs and burps sounding every other time she took a breath. She was laughing so hard she fell across the bench and landed in Draco's lap . . . still laughing like a maniac. The whole hall stared at her, until Adri snorted in laughter and shouted.
"Nice one Janey!"
Now with everything that was going on, Draco was starting to look a little . . . distracted (yes.... like that.....) as Janey rolled in laughter on his lap. He coughed and lifted her into a sitting position . . . . where she hiccuped a few times and calmed down enough to give him that look . . . and glare in his general direction . . . before she realized exactly why she had shot him that look . . . and started to laugh insanely again . . . this time being more careful about where . . . exactly . . . she was . . . erm . . . . . laughing. . . . (not like that). Draco looked slightly embarrassed . . . . and pretended not to notice the attractive (::cough::) girl sitting next to him.
Dumbledore quickly stood up at raised his hands for silence.
"Silence please!" he said loudly. "Now, I'm happy to say that these three have really found themselves at home here and I would like to say that I hope that you welcome them with open arms . . . not that you haven't done so already. Now that the feast is done, there are just a few announcements. One, no one is to be going into the Forbidden Forest unless you would like to meet your untimely death out there. Another thing is please do not feed Janey. London and Adri will be taking care of that great task. Now off to bed! All of you!"
As the entire hall rose up, there was a great crash and the entire Hufflepuff found themselves in a muddled heap on the floor.
"JANEY!" Adri shouted from on top of Susan Bones. "YOU'RE SO GONNA PAY FOR THIS!"
Janey looked at Adri and smiled. "You gotta catch me first!" she yelled and ran out of the hall.
"Are they always like this?" Ron asked London as they stared at the fuming Hufflepuff table.
"Yeah," she replied with a smile. "But at least it can't get any worse than this." The trio suddenly noticed a flash of fear dash across her brown eyes. "Oh, SHIT! Yes it can! JANEY, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"
"This is going to be one unusual year, don't you agree, Ron?" Harry asked the redhead.
"Bloody hell."
