Disclaimer: No they're not-Yeah, they're mine, and guess what! I even
thought up Legolas all on my own! As another author said, Boo-yah!
I'm so thrilled to see all the newcomers and some of the returning audience. Welcome all! At the current moment I have a network of friends helping me out with posting and keeping up with reviews, and I'd like to extend a tremendous thank you to them all: Melilot Millstone, Mizalaye, and Violet Dawson. Three cheers to you! Now to the personalized section:
Starbrat: Yep, and a rather big one at that. Look out below!
Mizalaye: I now considered my head chewed off. But you have to admit from my point of view that it was quite good. Would I at least have internet access in that little cell you're renting for me? Hee hee hee . . . I rather enjoy those mental conversations, they are quite fun to do. Anyways, I shall continue with the best of all haste.
Goddess Isis: Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Not that I'm giving anything away here . . . but eventually the Mary Sue will reemerge. It may be this chapter or twenty in the future, but I shall guarantee you that it will happen. Besides, you don't want to miss pincushion practice! (I'll leave you to ponder that.)
Stage-Rose: You are quite welcome, I'm sick of seeing Boromir either underplayed or drastically out of character. While I love each and every member of the Fellowship, Boromir is one of my favorites. Enjoy the next part!
Melilot Millstone/Kelli : Yes! It worked! Kudos and many many thank yous to you, my dear! I would never feed you to a mini-Balrog, because then we couldn't finish our P.P.C. thing. Of course there will be more to the story, and there will always be more *is so's*. Evil? Maybe . . .
Earendil: Well, wait no longer! Have fun reading it, I'm sure it will go far too fast!
Dedication of this chapter belongs to Celtic Dreamer, whose comments and faithful reviews I have thoroughly enjoyed. Thanks for everything and especially all the encouragement! And now . . .
TRAPPED AS A MARY SUE
Chapter Eleven
Ohmiwordohmiwordohmiwordohmiword!
Stop gibbering inanely and think of a way out of this!
I'm gonna dieeeeeeeee!
Shut up! Now!
Yessum. Shutting up.
It's about time.
What're we going to do? What're we going to do?!
First of all you're going to be quiet and let me think about this for a minute.
During this entire mental exchange the tip of dangerous metal gripped by an equally dangerous opponent had not wavered a single centimeter.
Do you think we can reason with her?
Reason with that overgrown excuse for a dazzlingly-beautiful-yet- incredibly-annoying-teenage-wannabe-a-good-author Mary Sue? Never!
Breathe dear, breathe.
"You've messed with my plans for the last time." Meriweather's voice was soft and sultry, and utterly nerve-wracking. "Give it up already."
Katie found herself snorting derisively and rolling her eyes before she could stop herself. "Yeah, like I'm gonna give in to *you*. Think again, sister." In retrospect, she realized that that wasn't the best thing she could have said.
The Mary Sue's color-shifting eyes narrowed. The sword got closer, so close that the cold point of it just brushed beneath Katie's chin. The girl repressed a shiver and straightened defiantly, green eyes smoldering. "Care to rephrase that?" Meriweather asked in a tone so cold it could have frozen the Roadrunner in his tracks.
Don't say *anything* stupid, the voice in her head warned.
Katie cocked her head to one side and pretended to consider. Then she sneered, "Nope."
Oooh, here we go. Nice job, genius. See you in the afterlife.
But Katie's mouth kept moving. "You don't get it, do you, *Meriweather*?" The way she said the name made it sound like an invective. "I will never stop fighting you, because you are *wrong*. And because I know you can't spell, that's W-R-O-N-G. These are not just fictional characters you are messing around with, these are real *people*. They hate everything you force them to do, everything that you *are*. So why don't *you* just give up and surrender so we can both get out of here?"
It was the Mary Sue's turn to smile mockingly. "You think I care? They're only fake. You're the stupid one here, Ms. True-Blue-Tolkienite. All of them adore me, I can *make* them adore me. Aragorn is my true love, and I will keep his heart forever. Your pathetic attempts can't stop me." She twisted her blade so that a few drops of blood began to slide down the shiny metal. "Admit you're screwed."
Katie backed up a step and tossed her head. "When you kiss Gimli," she snapped back.
Meriweather hissed between her teeth and lunged as if to stab her enemy. Katie shrieked involuntarily, because no matter how much she believed in her cause, that sword was still sharp! The shallow cut she had already sustained was proof of that. She ducked, and the weapon whistled harmlessly over her head. The Sue's momentum carried her forward, and Katie came up with a head-butt to the stomach. Meriweather found herself gasping frantically for air.
"Nice try, Meri-Sue!"
"What did you call me?!"
"So you're deaf *and* stupid? Amazing!"
Meriweather recovered enough to tackle Katie, growling like a deranged tiger, and just as unpleasant to look upon. "I will *kill* you!" Her hands closed around the girl's throat and try as she might, Katie couldn't dislodge her.
She can't.
She can't *what*?
Kill you.
Air was getting short, and her sword wound stung fiercely as Meriweather's hands tightened.
How come she's doing a decent job, though?
Listen, she *needs* you.
Her thoughts were becoming hazy.
Needs me . . . for what?
Stay with me. She needs you because you as a Tolkien fan are her link to Middle Earth. While anybody can create a Mary Sue, it takes someone with real knowledge to *be* one. I.e., a true fan. You are the closest physical template she could find, and all she needed to do was a little superficial work to make you her character. Ever notice how except for the blinding hair and odd eyes how much you two look alike?
Katie struggled to focus her vision for a moment. She'd always been too incensed with rage to actually bother looking at Meriweather as a person. No wonder Boromir and Aragorn had recognized her on top of Caradhras, and had acted accordingly. With terror.
That's . . . just . . . great. Why's she . . . choking me, then?
To get you unconscious so she can get back to *her* story.
. . . fudge . . .
And then there was blackness.
[Long wait, sorry sorry sorry! At least now you get an idea of how Meriweather's twisted mind works, and why Katie's actually here in the first place. Hope y'all are still with me! Chapter Twelve will be along soon, because I actually have a vision for it. Keep reading!]
I'm so thrilled to see all the newcomers and some of the returning audience. Welcome all! At the current moment I have a network of friends helping me out with posting and keeping up with reviews, and I'd like to extend a tremendous thank you to them all: Melilot Millstone, Mizalaye, and Violet Dawson. Three cheers to you! Now to the personalized section:
Starbrat: Yep, and a rather big one at that. Look out below!
Mizalaye: I now considered my head chewed off. But you have to admit from my point of view that it was quite good. Would I at least have internet access in that little cell you're renting for me? Hee hee hee . . . I rather enjoy those mental conversations, they are quite fun to do. Anyways, I shall continue with the best of all haste.
Goddess Isis: Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Not that I'm giving anything away here . . . but eventually the Mary Sue will reemerge. It may be this chapter or twenty in the future, but I shall guarantee you that it will happen. Besides, you don't want to miss pincushion practice! (I'll leave you to ponder that.)
Stage-Rose: You are quite welcome, I'm sick of seeing Boromir either underplayed or drastically out of character. While I love each and every member of the Fellowship, Boromir is one of my favorites. Enjoy the next part!
Melilot Millstone/Kelli : Yes! It worked! Kudos and many many thank yous to you, my dear! I would never feed you to a mini-Balrog, because then we couldn't finish our P.P.C. thing. Of course there will be more to the story, and there will always be more *is so's*. Evil? Maybe . . .
Earendil: Well, wait no longer! Have fun reading it, I'm sure it will go far too fast!
Dedication of this chapter belongs to Celtic Dreamer, whose comments and faithful reviews I have thoroughly enjoyed. Thanks for everything and especially all the encouragement! And now . . .
TRAPPED AS A MARY SUE
Chapter Eleven
Ohmiwordohmiwordohmiwordohmiword!
Stop gibbering inanely and think of a way out of this!
I'm gonna dieeeeeeeee!
Shut up! Now!
Yessum. Shutting up.
It's about time.
What're we going to do? What're we going to do?!
First of all you're going to be quiet and let me think about this for a minute.
During this entire mental exchange the tip of dangerous metal gripped by an equally dangerous opponent had not wavered a single centimeter.
Do you think we can reason with her?
Reason with that overgrown excuse for a dazzlingly-beautiful-yet- incredibly-annoying-teenage-wannabe-a-good-author Mary Sue? Never!
Breathe dear, breathe.
"You've messed with my plans for the last time." Meriweather's voice was soft and sultry, and utterly nerve-wracking. "Give it up already."
Katie found herself snorting derisively and rolling her eyes before she could stop herself. "Yeah, like I'm gonna give in to *you*. Think again, sister." In retrospect, she realized that that wasn't the best thing she could have said.
The Mary Sue's color-shifting eyes narrowed. The sword got closer, so close that the cold point of it just brushed beneath Katie's chin. The girl repressed a shiver and straightened defiantly, green eyes smoldering. "Care to rephrase that?" Meriweather asked in a tone so cold it could have frozen the Roadrunner in his tracks.
Don't say *anything* stupid, the voice in her head warned.
Katie cocked her head to one side and pretended to consider. Then she sneered, "Nope."
Oooh, here we go. Nice job, genius. See you in the afterlife.
But Katie's mouth kept moving. "You don't get it, do you, *Meriweather*?" The way she said the name made it sound like an invective. "I will never stop fighting you, because you are *wrong*. And because I know you can't spell, that's W-R-O-N-G. These are not just fictional characters you are messing around with, these are real *people*. They hate everything you force them to do, everything that you *are*. So why don't *you* just give up and surrender so we can both get out of here?"
It was the Mary Sue's turn to smile mockingly. "You think I care? They're only fake. You're the stupid one here, Ms. True-Blue-Tolkienite. All of them adore me, I can *make* them adore me. Aragorn is my true love, and I will keep his heart forever. Your pathetic attempts can't stop me." She twisted her blade so that a few drops of blood began to slide down the shiny metal. "Admit you're screwed."
Katie backed up a step and tossed her head. "When you kiss Gimli," she snapped back.
Meriweather hissed between her teeth and lunged as if to stab her enemy. Katie shrieked involuntarily, because no matter how much she believed in her cause, that sword was still sharp! The shallow cut she had already sustained was proof of that. She ducked, and the weapon whistled harmlessly over her head. The Sue's momentum carried her forward, and Katie came up with a head-butt to the stomach. Meriweather found herself gasping frantically for air.
"Nice try, Meri-Sue!"
"What did you call me?!"
"So you're deaf *and* stupid? Amazing!"
Meriweather recovered enough to tackle Katie, growling like a deranged tiger, and just as unpleasant to look upon. "I will *kill* you!" Her hands closed around the girl's throat and try as she might, Katie couldn't dislodge her.
She can't.
She can't *what*?
Kill you.
Air was getting short, and her sword wound stung fiercely as Meriweather's hands tightened.
How come she's doing a decent job, though?
Listen, she *needs* you.
Her thoughts were becoming hazy.
Needs me . . . for what?
Stay with me. She needs you because you as a Tolkien fan are her link to Middle Earth. While anybody can create a Mary Sue, it takes someone with real knowledge to *be* one. I.e., a true fan. You are the closest physical template she could find, and all she needed to do was a little superficial work to make you her character. Ever notice how except for the blinding hair and odd eyes how much you two look alike?
Katie struggled to focus her vision for a moment. She'd always been too incensed with rage to actually bother looking at Meriweather as a person. No wonder Boromir and Aragorn had recognized her on top of Caradhras, and had acted accordingly. With terror.
That's . . . just . . . great. Why's she . . . choking me, then?
To get you unconscious so she can get back to *her* story.
. . . fudge . . .
And then there was blackness.
[Long wait, sorry sorry sorry! At least now you get an idea of how Meriweather's twisted mind works, and why Katie's actually here in the first place. Hope y'all are still with me! Chapter Twelve will be along soon, because I actually have a vision for it. Keep reading!]
