She awoke the next day as Jess was getting ready for school.
"Hey," he said, seeing her eyes open and watching him. He bent down and gave her a sweet good-morning kiss, then studied her as she stretched and sat up. "Nervous?"
She nodded fervently, and he chuckled. "Well, don't be," he told her. "You're going to do marvelously. And you're going to have fun and be happy." He kissed her again, and she was awake enough to participate in this one. After several long moments he pulled away. "I've gotta get to school," he told her, sounding infinitely reluctant. "I'm cutting it close as it is. When will you be home?"
"I get off at four, so pretty soon after that," she told him.
"I'll be in the diner when you come home, okay?" he asked, putting on his coat and heading out the door.
"Sounds good," she murmured. As soon as she was alone in the apartment, her stomach began churning with nerves. She felt the curve of her belly, and remembered that she had a new life to take care of and provide for. Amazingly, the thought helped to calm her, and she got up to prepare for her first day of work.
She dressed in jeans, a shirt and a loose sweater, knowing there would be a uniform provided for the work. Then she went downstairs for her breakfast and her morning cup of coffee.
"Morning," she said to Luke, smiling when he picked up a mug before even muttering a greeting in return.
"What'll it be this morning?" he asked.
"Warm cereal with fruit toppings, more coffee, and toast."
Luke propped his hands on the counter and said, "You nervous about your first day of work?" He looked sympathetic when she nodded. "Just don't hit your head and get knocked unconscious," he told her.
She blinked slightly at him, nonplussed. "Why would I do that?"
"That's what I did when the diner opened," he said, looking sorry he'd brought it up. "I opened the doors, went into the back room, threw up and passed out. I hit my head."
"Ouch," Lorelai said, wanting to smile. "But…you eventually got over that feeling, right?"
He shrugged. "Well, I'm still kinda nervous that someone'll get sick or something, but that kinda goes with owning a food establishment."
She took a big gulp of coffee. "Hmm," she said contentedly. "The only way someone would get sick on your food is overeating," she told him.
"Thanks," he said wanly. "It'll be about ten minutes."
"No hurry. I'll just sit here drinking my coffee."
He went off to serve other customers, leaving Lorelai sitting at the counter. She concentrated on not thinking about the test of adulthood facing her, instead listening to the conversations around her.
"That's her," someone—a female—whispered. "That's the girl Luke's nephew knocked up."
Another female voice scolded the first, and Lorelai recognized Miss Patty's dulcet tones. "Now, Babs, that's not fair. The kids made a mistake. The girl is getting a job to support herself and the baby. And Jess isn't quitting school. In fact, I heard he's taking on even more classes than he was before."
"Where'd you hear that?"
"I was talking to one of the guidance counselors over at the High School, and he was saying what a remarkable thing has happened to Jess Mariano. I mean, he's showing up to all his classes now, almost without fail."
"Wow." There was a pause. "I will miss seeing him, though, sitting in the square and reading. That boy is mighty fine to look at. Why, if I didn't have Morrie…"
"You're telling me," Miss Patty said, heaving a love-struck sigh.
Lorelai was startled when Luke set the bowl of cereal and a plate of toast in front of her. "Oh, thanks," she said, jumping a little.
"Don't pay any attention to Babette and Patty," he murmured. "They're just gossips."
"It's all right," she said. "This is a small town, and I didn't really expect people to not talk. That's just unrealistic."
"Its rude, is what it is," Luke said.
"It's all right," Lorelai repeated. "Really. Let them talk." She waved a hand and took a bite of creamy oatmeal with honey and berries in it. "Who needs them when you can make breakfast like this?"
Far too soon, it was time for her to go and face up to her new life. The butterflies swarmed around her stomach, making her regret having that second bowl of oatmeal.
"I'm off, Luke," she called.
"Good luck," he said as she left, slipping into her coat.
The day was pleasant as she walked to the Inn, and when she arrived she stood outside the building, studying it.
It had probably been a house, at one point. A very grand old house, but still someplace where a family lived. Now it was a successful business, and it would be her workplace. All in all, she decided, there could be worse places to work.
She went into the lobby, and marched up to the front desk. "Hi!" Stephanie said, smiling widely. "I was so glad to hear that Pierce had hired you. I hope you're not disappointed you didn't get the desk job."
"No," Lorelai smiled and shook her head. "I'm happy to have any job," she said honestly.
"You can just head on back to the office where you had your interview," Stephanie said. "Pierce said you'd be coming in early to fill out some forms and get things ready for your shift."
"Thanks," Lorelai said, and followed Stephanie's gesture down a hallway.
The rest of the day blurred a little after that. She had to fill out forms, mostly having to do with the insurance coverage she had as long as she was employed, and got her uniform with a minimum amount of fuss. Then she was introduced to the other maids who were working the shift. A middle-aged but very striking woman named Katie was going to be her trainer, and she took her around to the rooms and showed Lorelai the procedure.
She was tired by the end of the day, but confident she could do the job she'd been hired to do. She shuffled home—the diner was fast becoming home to her—and slid onto her stool with a groan.
The custom was established as Luke put a cup of decaffeinated coffee in front of her. "So, how'd it go?" he asked.
"I think it went great," she told him after draining half the cup. "I've got the routine for the cleaning pretty much down, the woman who fitted me for a uniform didn't blink an eye when she found out I was pregnant." She made a face. "And people made several cryptic remarks about my name."
Luke looked as if he'd swallowed something foul. "Uh," he gulped, "like what?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. They said things like, 'Huh,' or 'That's funny.' They couldn't say any more, because something always interrupted them–customers, a crisis in the kitchen, plain 'ol work–but I think they just have to get used to having a siren in their midst."
Luke forced a chuckle out of a throat that had closed up. This was too much stress: he didn't want to deal with it. Waitings for the Lorelais to discover each other was elevating his blood pressure to far beyond healthy. Something was going to break soon, though, he was sure of it. They were working in the same building, with the same people. Gilmore was Collins' boss, for crying out loud! How much longer could it be kept a secret?
"Jess is waiting for you upstairs," he told her.
"Oh, okay," she said, and finished her coffee. "Thanks, Luke."
She opened the door into their apartment to find Jess lying on the bed with his textbooks spread around him. "Hey," she said, removing her sweater gratefully. Thanks to the diner and kitchen below, the apartment was usually kept very warm in the winter.
"Hey," he said. "I've got a surprise for the working woman," he told her.
"Really?" She smiled as she sat next to him. "I love surprises."
He picked up a tape case from under his history text and passed it to her. "We're going to watch a nice movie and relax." The entertainment center was the middle row of shelves facing Jess' bed, and she was smiling as she moved to turn on the TV and put the tape in the VCR. "'Riding in Cars With Boys,'" she read as she moved to sit back down, raising her eyebrow at him.
"I thought it apropos," he said, clearing off the textbooks and looking up in time to see her wince. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately.
"Nothing," she said, though truthfully her back was beginning to twinge at her.
"No, that wince wasn't nothing," he said argumentatively as the previews came on.
She sighed heavily, but decided he would argue it out of her eventually, so it was better to give in now. "If you must know, my back hurts. Just a little bit."
Now he looked concerned. "Where?" he asked as he began to move his hands over her back. This was easy as they were lying across the bed, him behind her.
"Jess," she sighed. "It's not that bad…." She trailed off when his fingers found the tensed muscles in the middle of her back and gently began to kneed them. She raised her knee to prop herself up as she rocked forward, until she was lying as much as was safe on her stomach. This gave Jess a much better angle to work with, and soon she was so relaxed she was nearly asleep.
"Movie's starting," he murmured in her ear, settling back, confident he'd done the right thing. She made a noncommittal noise, making him chuckle. "Come on," he said. "I made a special trip to the movie place just for you."
"Then you shouldn't have put me to sleep beforehand, should you?" she asked the comforter covering his bed. He chuckled again as she levered herself up, until she was nestled against him.
They watched the movie without their usual quips, enjoying each other's company and the down time. The only comment either of them made was halfway through the movie. Lorelai said, "The ads made it seem a lot happier." She felt Jess nodding against her back, and didn't comment further.
Jess grew more nervous as he watched the movie. It was all about the disappointments of having a baby at an early age, instead of the happier movie the commercials had shown. He wasn't sure it was a good idea for them to be watching this. It didn't exactly cast a hopeful glow on their futures.
The movie ran out, and Jess used the remotes to turn off the VCR and the TV. They lay in silence for several minutes, Jess waiting tensely for her to say something. Finally, he couldn't take it any more. "Lor?" he said. "Um…please say something?"
As a response, Lorelai turned at looked at him, inches away from her face, her belly protruding enough that they touched. Her hands cupped his face. "I'm lucky," she murmured, and kissed him, gently. When she pulled away, her eyes were wet. "I'm so very lucky," she said. "I could be like her. She didn't love him. She never loved anyone but the kid. And the guy wasn't dependable. He wasn't like you. I love you, Jess," she said, quietly. "I really do. I'm so lucky."
Jess' arms pulled her closer, and he kissed her back, feeling happier than ever before. After a while, she pulled back again. "I'm so lucky to have found you," she told him.
"Technically," he said. "I found you."
She smiled at him. "I just can't believe how lucky I am. I can't believe you've forgiven me for not telling you about the baby sooner. Thank you."
They kissed once more, and Jess rolled until she was sprawled over him.
Soon, the kisses led to more, and they made love for the first time since she'd gotten pregnant. "Oh, jeez," Jess said at one point. "Should we be doing this?"
Lorelai nodded, breathing hard. "It's all right until the third trimester," she told him.
"You're sure?" he asked her intently. She nodded, and he began to kiss her again.
She had been reluctant to take off her clothes. Jess had laughed gently. "This'll be very interesting with all that cloth in the way," he said, making her blush.
"Jess…" she said, and bit her lip. He kissed her until she let go. "Jess, I'm pregnant," she told him.
He laughed outright at that. "I know," he told her. "It's not something I could forget."
"No, I'm pregnant; I'm getting fat," she told him. "I've got stretch marks on my stomach where the skin has stretched too fast."
His only response to that was to lift the hem of her shirt and begin to caress and kiss her skin. "You're as beautiful as the first time I saw you," he told her against her skin. "You're as beautiful as the first time we made love. You're just beautiful, Lorelai," he told her, and finally she believed him.
After they finished, Jess pulled her tightly against him. "I'm most definitely moving into the apartment with you."
She began laughing, almost uncontrollably. When she'd laughed herself out, she said, "If I even can get an apartment. I haven't gotten a call back yet."
"I have confidence in you," Jess told her, running his hand over her hair. "But Luke's going to be wondering why I'm not down for the dinner rush," he added, glancing at his alarm clock, stationed next to the couch.
They parted reluctantly and dressed. The rest of their night was spent in the diner, Lorelai smiling and talking with Jess and Luke when they weren't busy, and reading when they were. It was comforting, she thought, to have something resembling a routine set out already.
It was late that night—technically morning—when she awoke, and for a moment wondered what had disturbed her sleep. Then she heard Jess' rapid breathing from the couch, and she sat up, looking for him. She swept the covers aside and went to kneel next to the couch by his head. He was fast asleep, but his dreams weren't happy. He was frowning deeply, and fidgeting on the narrow couch.
"Jess?" she whispered, trying not to wake Luke who was a few yards away. Jess made a small, distressed noise at the back of his throat. "Jess," she said, with more confidence. "Wake up," she added.
His eyelids flickered slightly, and she bent closer. "Jess!" she hissed, and had to stifle a scream when he quickly came awake and sat up. She was trying to catch her breath while he raked his hands through his hair and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.
"Lorelai?" he asked when he saw her. "What's wrong?"
"That's my line," she whispered, gesturing for him to keep it down. She tried to stand, overbalanced and was saved from falling when he caught her arm. "Thanks," she murmured as he pulled her up to sit next to him on the couch. "So what's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said quickly. "Just a bad dream." But he pulled her closer to him, his hands linking together tightly across her stomach. He head turned until his forehead was resting against the crown of her head.
They stayed in silence that way for a few minutes, and for a moment Lorelai thought he'd gone back to sleep. She shifted slightly, until she could look into his face. "Jess, tell me," she requested gently. He shook his head. "Please, Jess? I want to know what the bad dream was. It helps to banish the memories," she said when he didn't speak.
He heaved a sigh. "All right. I was dreaming about you and the baby."
"And that was bad?"
"Yeah, it was bad," he said harshly, then glanced towards Luke's bed. "Yes, it was." He swallowed hard. "It was just you and the baby," he told her, his voice scratchy. "You were alone, and I'd let you down and turned into my father."
She brought her hand up to touch his cheek. "Jess, no," she murmured. "You're nothing like your father, and you could never let me down."
"What if I can't do it?" he asked her. "What if I just can't hack it, being a dad? A father, even. What if I'm a horrible father?" She leaned forward and kissed him gently.
When she pulled away, her voice was firm. "Don't say such ridiculous things."
"Oh, that's good," he said, though there was a smile tugging at his lips. "I'm having a crisis of conscience and you tell me I'm ridiculous."
"You're not ridiculous. You're saying things that are, but you're not."
"I'm just saying what I feel," he protested.
"Shush," she scolded him. "I'm talking."
"Yes, ma'am," he said.
"Look, Jess," she said. "I had the exact same thoughts you had. I found out I was pregnant, and for a long time I wondered what kind of mother I would be. I wondered if I was doing the right thing by keeping the baby, even though I knew how being adopted could affect you. And I thought, 'Well, I don't have such great examples of parenting myself, do I? My birth mother was sixteen, my birth father probably doesn't even care that I exist.'"
"But you had your parents," Jess protested.
"Yeah. Who lied to me for my entire life, and probably would have continued to lie to me." Jess looked at her, never having heard these sentiments from her regarding her parents. "That's not a good way to raise a kid," she said. "Trust me. It makes you question your entire life, thinking, 'Well, if they lied about that, what else were they lying about?' Then you go through everything that you can remember about your life and wonder if it was all an act."
She shook herself out of that melancholy. "But that's not the point." She turned to face Jess completely. "The one thing I never questioned was what kind of father you would be," she told him. "I wondered if you might not be happy being a father at such a young age, and I wondered if you would ever forgive me." She put one hand on top of her stomach, and grabbed Jess' hand with the other to place it over hers. "But I knew that no matter how you felt about me, you'd never hold it against this baby. You're just not that kind of person, Jess." She felt the tears welling up. "You're a loving person. Sure, you can be a little gruff sometimes, but…I knew you'd love this baby."
"How could I not?" he demanded. "This baby is part of you, in the most literal sense." The tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and he wiped them away. "Come on, Lor, stop crying. You're scaring me."
"No, these are good tears," she told him, laughing. "Really. I'm just happy that I'm so lucky. That you're the father of this baby. That I'm even having a baby. I love you, Jess, I really do."
Jess pulled her to him for a sweet kiss, keeping his hand over her belly. "I love you, too, Lor," he murmured as he pulled away. "Now, go back to sleep," he added. "You've got work tomorrow…well, today," he added, glancing at the clock.
"And you've got school, so you sleep, too," she ordered.
"Yes, ma'am," he repeated, then yawned.
"All this saccharine sap is kind of tiring, isn't it?" she asked him, and laughed, then yawned again.
"It's so sticky you get tired of fighting it," Jess said. "Now go back to your bed."
"It's your bed," she told him. "I'm just borrowing it."
"I know." He watched her progress across the small space and only laid down when she was safely under the covers.
"We're both going to be okay, Jess," she whispered, already mostly asleep. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Lorelai," he murmured.
Across the room, Luke closed his eyes, and tried to get back to sleep, feeling much better about life in general.
