When her sobs subsided she decided to do something constructive to take her mind off Harry and her hope that he would forgive her. Not that she needed to be forgiven. Oh no he needed to apologize to her! But enough of that she couldn't bear it.
The twins were staying at a friend's house that afternoon so she decided to seek out Benjy. She dug out the old Marauders map and had to let another wave of sobs subside before using it. She saw Benjy behind a statue on the fourth floor.
She left their rooms and sought out her son. She stepped out behind him slowly. He was crouched his head in his knees crying. She silently sat next to him and put an arm on his shoulder. He jumped but didn't look up
"Benjy sweetie what's going on?" Wish I knew what was going on anywhere not just with him.
"Nutin." His reply was muffled but his arms.
"Your teacher doesn't think it's nothing." A sniffle was the only reply she got. Slowly she lifted his head up to face her. His nose was running and his entire face as sopping wet and red. The bruise around his eye was more blue than balck now and she did notice those bags now that she thought about it. When she looked at him more tears cascaded down his face.
"Honey, please tell me what's wrong. I can't help you if I don't know and I want to help you. I love you."
"No you don't. You don't love me and neither does daddy or Justin or anybody!"
"Oh baby." She hugged him close. "Oh angel why do you say that?" he cried into her paint covered sweatshirt for awhile before answering.
"Acause Daddy left me and you yell at me all the time and Justin left too! No one else pays any attention to me! Nadine and Chris are always busy and Grandma and Grandpa are always teachin'! The kids at school tease me but Mrs. Bennet don't notice or don't care I dunno which!" she hugged him tighter and spoke right into his ear.
"Listen to me Benjy I love you do you hear? When I yell at you well it doesn't mean I don't love you! I well" how do you explain to a kid why you yell at him without yelling at him? "Either I'm scared you'll get hurt or you're being unreasonable. But I'll try harder not to I promise.
"And Daddy, well Daddy-"Daddy is a self-centered bastard who thinks he can jump to conclusions about his wife who had been faithful to him for years. "Daddy loves you… he's coming home today… but um he has to go to Ron's for awhile first."
"Why?" See previous answer
"Business. And everyone else gets busy but they love you. It's not your fault. Hey Ben?"
"What?"
"How long have you been feeling bad?"
"Since daddy left. I can't sleep anymore and I'm not hungry much either."
"Well are you feeling better not?"
"Sorta."
"Do me a favor?"
"What?" he asked skeptically.
"Let's always tell when we're upset okay? That way you don't have to not be able to sleep or eat."
"Okay."
"While we're being honest I need to tell you that daddy might not be home for awhile. Mommy and Daddy aren't too happy with each other right now but don't you worry you got me? If you are worried you tell me right away okay?"
"I guess."
"Now about this fight today."
"Uh oh."
"No uh oh just tell me who you fought."
"Theo."
"I thought he was your friend."
"He was but he asked me what was wrong and you always say daddy's job shouldn't be talked about and he asked if it was because my dad was a deatheater and I slugged him"
"Hmm…. How about tomorrow you tell him that Dad wasn't a deatheater that he just had to help and that you're sorry okay?"
"Tomorrow's Saturday."
"So? I happen to know Theo lives at the school."
"Why?" Because his parents couldn't bear it after Cedric the Perfect died.
"We'll talk about that later." She helped him up and they went home.
Hermione was the one who didn't eat much dinner and couldn't sleep that night.
The next morning she sent Benjy to the village and stayed inside until Ron came to see her at around ten.
"Your husband showed up at my house at two this morning," was his greeting as he entered through the portrait.
"Hello and good morning to you too."
"Yeah yeah mind telling me why he didn't go home?"
'Let him tell you I have to go get the twins."
"Lily went to get them and he isn't talking. Hasn't infact said a word since he arrived! It's driving Susan batty and that is the last thing she needs."
"How many months now?"
"Seven don't change the subject."
"Alright alright. Harold James Potter thinks I'm cheating on him with Justin Malfoy. In fact he thinks Justin is one of a series of flings. Which of course he isn't as I am not cheating on my husband and never will be."
"Ouch. He is quick to draw conclusions isn't he?" Hermione smiled ruefully.
"The worst ever seen." Ron sighed.
"Want me to talk to him?"
"Would you?"
"Sure Hermi I will." He turned. "What's easier to body bind him or just to silence him so he can say a spell?"
"Body bind."
"Gotcha."
That evening she sat alone in the family room ringing her hands and waiting for a call from Ron. The kids were in bed and Benjy was happy since Theo had forgiven him. A sudden pop made her dash to the fireplace but Ron's face was forlorn.
"No such luck. In fact his parents Ginny Sirius and I have tried to talk to Harry and nothing has worked." Hermione sighed,
'I guess it's to be expected. I just hope he comes around. Thanks Ron for trying anyway." Ron nodded.
"No problem I guess. I'll keep trying too bad he can resist Imperio I'd make him listen."
"Yeah you could do it too since you're and aurour. Too bad." Ron nodded and disappeared. Hermione went to bed but sleep wouldn't come for a long time and for that time only tears would visit her.
The next day she went to Ron's.
He was in the Weasly's guest bedroom sitting on a window seat in traveling robes that were dirty and frayed. His glasses were smudged in a way that let people know he didn't want to see out nor didn't he want them to see in. she noticed how thin he was the momment she opened the door. He seemed to hear it open but he didn't acknowledge it. Slowly she walked in and sat on the unmade bed.
"Harry?" silence. "Harry… I just want you to know I would never cheat on you. I love you no matter if you believe me or not and I would swear that under Veritissarum. Justin was a friend in need and I can't resist that. Seems to me you were a friend in need yourself several times.
"I'm so sorry if you got the wrong impression because I love you Harry with all my heart. And these past five years I have only been with someone else once and I apologized for that already did I not?" Nothing from the window. She felt herself looking past him at the snow that was starting to fall.
"Remember how we used to go skating? We found that pond in fifth year and for the longest time it was our pond. You taught me to skate that November and I loved it. That was our last winter alone. Well after you left I went looking for another pond like that and I never found one. I had always hoped that you and I would go back to that pond. Our pond." Still se got no response. She looked at him again and stood. 'Good bye Harry. Remember I'll love you even if you don't love me." She said good bye to Susan and wandered off without a real destination.
