Mamoru folded up the piece of paper he had been reading over and over
again. He turned it around. Flipped it over. Shoved it in his pocket.
"God damn why was I so stupid?"
He had lost her. The one person that had ever meant anything to him. She was everybody to his nobody existence. And now he had given her up. Again, after being a somebody he was left stranded a nobody.
But we all make stupid mistakes don't we? Aren't we all allowed to make stupid mistakes?
Somebody else was the stupid mistake he committed. Her sex appeal was overwhelming, he had to admit, but he shouldn't have been so stupid to fall for it.
But she was supposed to be Usagi's best friend. She wasn't supposed to let him fall for her. She wasn't supposed to fall for him. None of this was suppose to happen.
And now he reread the diary entry. It was his fault. Usagi had left during the night, and she had left for good. She decided she would want to die in peace, in her own place. No one knew where this place was, or why she would want to be anywhere but Crystal Tokyo when she left. All of the senshi were out searching for their queen. Mamoru stayed behind just incase she were to change her mind and return.
But that's not really why he stayed behind. He knew deep down that she wouldn't return. So why was he waiting?
Truth is, he wasn't waiting. He was sitting there, cloaked in his own misery and didn't have the heart to see her again. Even if she had gone to kill herself, he didn't want to see her. If she were to come back into the doors this minute, he would turn away.
But its not because he didn't - or - doesn't love her, its because he felt so terrible about the whole case. It is his fault she wants to die. It's his fault that this perfect creature, which, mind you, is more full of life than anyone but him will ever know, now doesn't treasure the life he has.
And it's all his fault.
Even if it had to do with-with HER- it was his fault.
Why did he have to fall for that damn seduction?
It's the way the flames casted the shadows on her face. The way her long, raven hair had fell gently down her back when she pulled the ribbon out. The way her curves drove him mad, when all he was at the temple for was to pray for the rain to clear up some before some major floods starting happening.
But he had taken her. And he had taken her right there, at the center of everything holy. The temple. The shrine. A place to worship.
And to think, the only thing he worshipped was her body like the perfect temple it was.
Wait, why was he thinking this again?
This isn't right.
He slapped himself. He hadn't even said her name that night, but his queen was farther from his mind then anyone can imagine. He could have been at mercury palace and her visiting Setsuna. That's how far away his mind was from her.
He remembered the night clearly.
~*~*~*~*~
The door made of willow creaked relentlessly as it was pushed open, awakening the fibers that traveled down its face. A shaded head appeared in the doorway, a few raven strands of hair framing the face, and deep, purple eyes gazing out at him.
"Hi Mamoru. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yes, I was hoping to consult the fire with a prayer."
"Okay, come in."
The burnt wood door opened more, giving even more moans of rebellion. Mamoru's boot clicked the equally willow floor beneath him. He brushed off the dust from his cape, and leaned his marble staff against a wall. She closed the door slowly behind him, and took a few steps foreword.
"Follow me."
She jingled her keys as they walked, trying to find the one that went into the fire room. Mamoru followed behind her, as instructed, with every step adding another deep "click" to the aging wood beneath him. She made no noise when she walked. Her footsteps were light and easy. His were as if he carried the world on his shoulders.
Another creak of protest as she opened the door to the room with the fire. There were two purple pillows on the floor in front of the fire. It looked as if they had just been set out. They seemed to be the only two things in the room that wasn't covered in dust.
"Were you expecting me?"
"I saw you walking up the stairs in the fire."
"Oh. Yes, I forgot you can do that."
She nodded.
"So, do you know if the rain will clear up?"
"Yes"
"Can you tell me?"
"Im not allowed to say what I can see. For a true seer does not reveal straight foreword."
"So?"
"All I can say is that, 'Though some tragedies are meant to happen, others which seem they will, will not, and that which is seemingly not, will'"
He sighed in relief. So that which is expected will not happen, and something unexpected will. Maybe the floods wont come, and something will benefit him.
"Well, I think I will still pray to the gods. Just incase"
She nodded again.
He bowed his head and lowered his eyes. He did not close them, just lowered. Stared at the ground. He didn't like praying to a fire. He would rather speak with the gods himself, but his queen said it would only be right to come to this old shrine where the six of them would meet, and then on later the nine of them. This meeting place was considered holy by she whom he loved.
He glanced up at the other human in the room. She had her back turned to him. Her hands were up messing with the messy bun she had placed on top of her head, which held her hair back.
Two fingers grabbed the end of the ribbon. She started to slowly pull it. Her hair began cascading down her back. The way the light waves hit her hair made some areas appear to shine purple.
Her hair rolled down to the small of her back in slow motion. Damn those females with layered hair. One section right after the other. And she leaned to the side slightly to stretch her spine. Making her hair move more.
She stood up slowly, her back still to him. He had raised his head, watching her every move like a hawk watching its final supper. Great determination. He licked his lips.
Her head began to turn to look at him, he quickly, yet gently tucked his chin back to his chest and folded his hands, squeezing his eyes tighter. She smiled, knowing what she was doing to him.
In her opinion, if it was going to happen anyway, as she knew it would, she might as well make the best out of it. She turned back around.
"Mamoru-san, would you mind if I changed really fast? I have ash and soot all over my robes, and I hate to perform a ceremony in rags."
She had used san. Every hair on his neck had stood up, and she had only said it innocently, as she would have said anything else.
"Uhm, sure, go ahead."
"Thanks, but I can't leave the room while someone is praying at the fire, it disturbs the ki energy flow of everything. So ill have to change in here. Promise you wont look?"
"No problem."
"I appreciate it."
What a fruitless promise. Both grown adults knew that there was no point in saying he wouldn't look. He would. He was a man. That said everything.
He opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at her again. Her back was still to him. She shifted a little to her right foot, balancing her weight. One perfectly shaded arm slinked out from the white cotton top that embraced her loosely. She then used it to push the other side down. Wiggling a little, she pushed the white cotton robe down to touch the red skirt-like robe that encircled her waist. The long, raven hair was now touching bare skin. Her shoulders shot up a little, shivering for a moment at the cold she was facing, then slowly relaxing again, reminding themselves of the warm fire that was behind.
Mamoru stopped breathing. Even just what little parts of her back he could see were gorgeous. Her skin was perfectly colored, her back muscles perfectly toned, and when she turned to a diagonal for a second to undo the clasp that held the bottom half of her robes on, he could see her perfectly curved breasts. He reminded himself to breathe.
'Close your eyes Mamoru.' He tried to tell himself.
This, also, was fruitless.
Her arms pushed, ever so slowly, down her robes completely. One dainty foot stepped out onto the willow floor, which, as usual, gave its sigh of resistance.
She turned her head slowly, making eye contact with Mamoru. They both knew now that he was interested. The problem was, was she?
She wouldn't just play games though. Right? She wouldn't be so seductive and not let him touch her.
He rose to his feet. She turned around slowly, barely trying to cover up all that she now submitted to the willingness of roaming eyes.
He took a step foreword. Their eyes made contact, not breaking it this time. She took a step foreword.
Little to his knowledge, this was something she had wanted since they met. Since day one. She had wanted him. Her body had craved. And she also knew she would have him tonight. It was fated so.
He stared at her, not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to move. Not knowing how to react. Not knowing how she wanted him to react.
"You promised you wouldn't look" she whispered.
"You knew I would"
"What if I did?"
"Then you were asking for this"
He leaned foreword and pressed his lips onto hers forcefully. Her hands started to roam everything that covered him. Undoing every clasp one by one that led down to the bottom of his shirt. Finishing that task, she slid her hands over his bare chest and up to the sleeves, slowly she slid his sleeves down, caressing every muscle on her way. His body trembled at the agonizing pleasure of her touch. His shirt dropped to the floor behind them.
Her fingers ran down his chest again lightly, stopping to circle his belly button. With every touch, their kisses grew more frantic, more needing. Her fingers toyed with the button to his pants. She slowly pulled down his zipper. His pants fell to the floor also.
Her thumbs trailed around his waistband, making every muscle in his stomach tense and then relax. Her very touch made his entire body contract before fitting to her finger.
Stopping her thumbs on the side of his waist and deciding to not torture him anymore, she slid down his boxers with her hands. He stepped his feet out of his boxers and pants, and they walked towards the wall. Her hands found her way around his neck, followed by her arms. His hands found themselves all over her. Roaming the new territory he longed to be all over at once. His body pinned hers to the wall.
His mouth found her jawbone and neck, and started placing random kisses down it. His hands massaged her breasts. She tilted her head back against the wall, eyes squeezed tight, mouth open. Her breaths grew heavier by the minute. So did his.
He trailed his kisses lower. He kissed all the way around her breasts, neglecting her nipples and licking down to her belly button, where he drew circles, making her tense up. He kissed lower.
Getting ready on his knees, he picked up one of her legs and placed it on his shoulders. He leaned in and started kissing around her thighs. She whined and tilted herself foreword, as if to say, "stop teasing, just get on with it", but get on with it in a good way.
~*~
And that night he had her. Over and over again he had her. Both of them had such great stamina they kept at it.
~*~
The sun was rising through the windows in the holy room, casting beams of light into the willow made room, making spirits burst a flame, and glowing ashes loose their power. There was Mamoru and his priestess. His arms around her, her body on top of his. Lying on the two large pillows, in front of the dead fire. They both breathed at a slow, fixed rate. Their naked skin touched every inch of the other's.
~*~
The early morning fog never bothered Usagi as it had so many other people she knew. She rather enjoyed it. Enjoying things like the morning fog proved that Usagi had grown and matured so much. No longer was she a silly, frivolous, crybaby, she was a queen. A hero. A woman. She carried herself with elegance. Perfect poise. Everything your little girl would want to be, and much, much more.
Seiya had seen her a year ago. On the year anniversary of banishing Galaxia. He had fallen heel head over. It was like they were strangers when they met. His jaw had dropped, and she had just laughed, very quiet and lady like. He had immediately fell to one knee, kissed her hand, and told her how wonderful it was to have her grace his presence again. Mamoru had smiled proudly at what his Usako had become. Everyone was so proud. And the good thing? She still knew when to goof off and have fun. That's what "growing up" really is. It's maturing with style. That's what she had done.
Serenity would have been so proud.
The light taps of her shoes hit the staircase leading up to the temple. She smiled at all of the birds around her sang.
"Im so lucky," she thought to herself, "I have the best husband, the greatest friends, and soon ill even have the worlds most amazing daughter." She and Mamoru had decided it was almost time to start planning for Chibi- Usa. She smiled bigger. She missed the little spirit-ball, and was looking foreword to raising her on her own.
She slowly pushed the creaking willow door open. She knew she didn't have to knock. She had been coming here since she was fourteen after all. Four years. She saw Mamoru's staff lying against the wall.
"Ah, so my assumptions were correct."
She had thought he stayed at the shrine extra late to pray more intently on the well being of his people. He was so caring about them all like that. That's one thing she really loved about him. He cared about everyone.
Her shoes tapped on the hardwood floor, pulsating softly a rhythm of serenity.
She came to the room where the fire was kept. She turned the knob, and pushed open the door to the room.
"Honey, are you still pra-"
She stopped dead in the doorway. Her own staff fell to the ground, creating a loud kink. She gasped. Was it really as it looked? Her best friend and her husband?
Mamoru jerked his eyes opened and sat up, making Rei fall off of him. She made a thud against the ground and sat up herself.
"U. Usako."
"Usagi?!"
~*~*~*~*~
He cringed remembering the pained expression on her face that morning. She had trusted him with her life, and what had he done? He had let her down.
He promised he would always protect her. And now he had let her down. Nothing could protect her from the heartbreak that was to follow that dreadful night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Okay, so I'll say it here. I don't own sailor moon. I wont type that again. You just know now that I don't. that's why I write FAN FICTION. But hey, got to put the disclaimer. Right? Well, this is my first BSSM fanfic, and also my first fanfic with some type of sexual theme. Please don't flame too bad? Let me know how you like it though!
~SB
"God damn why was I so stupid?"
He had lost her. The one person that had ever meant anything to him. She was everybody to his nobody existence. And now he had given her up. Again, after being a somebody he was left stranded a nobody.
But we all make stupid mistakes don't we? Aren't we all allowed to make stupid mistakes?
Somebody else was the stupid mistake he committed. Her sex appeal was overwhelming, he had to admit, but he shouldn't have been so stupid to fall for it.
But she was supposed to be Usagi's best friend. She wasn't supposed to let him fall for her. She wasn't supposed to fall for him. None of this was suppose to happen.
And now he reread the diary entry. It was his fault. Usagi had left during the night, and she had left for good. She decided she would want to die in peace, in her own place. No one knew where this place was, or why she would want to be anywhere but Crystal Tokyo when she left. All of the senshi were out searching for their queen. Mamoru stayed behind just incase she were to change her mind and return.
But that's not really why he stayed behind. He knew deep down that she wouldn't return. So why was he waiting?
Truth is, he wasn't waiting. He was sitting there, cloaked in his own misery and didn't have the heart to see her again. Even if she had gone to kill herself, he didn't want to see her. If she were to come back into the doors this minute, he would turn away.
But its not because he didn't - or - doesn't love her, its because he felt so terrible about the whole case. It is his fault she wants to die. It's his fault that this perfect creature, which, mind you, is more full of life than anyone but him will ever know, now doesn't treasure the life he has.
And it's all his fault.
Even if it had to do with-with HER- it was his fault.
Why did he have to fall for that damn seduction?
It's the way the flames casted the shadows on her face. The way her long, raven hair had fell gently down her back when she pulled the ribbon out. The way her curves drove him mad, when all he was at the temple for was to pray for the rain to clear up some before some major floods starting happening.
But he had taken her. And he had taken her right there, at the center of everything holy. The temple. The shrine. A place to worship.
And to think, the only thing he worshipped was her body like the perfect temple it was.
Wait, why was he thinking this again?
This isn't right.
He slapped himself. He hadn't even said her name that night, but his queen was farther from his mind then anyone can imagine. He could have been at mercury palace and her visiting Setsuna. That's how far away his mind was from her.
He remembered the night clearly.
~*~*~*~*~
The door made of willow creaked relentlessly as it was pushed open, awakening the fibers that traveled down its face. A shaded head appeared in the doorway, a few raven strands of hair framing the face, and deep, purple eyes gazing out at him.
"Hi Mamoru. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yes, I was hoping to consult the fire with a prayer."
"Okay, come in."
The burnt wood door opened more, giving even more moans of rebellion. Mamoru's boot clicked the equally willow floor beneath him. He brushed off the dust from his cape, and leaned his marble staff against a wall. She closed the door slowly behind him, and took a few steps foreword.
"Follow me."
She jingled her keys as they walked, trying to find the one that went into the fire room. Mamoru followed behind her, as instructed, with every step adding another deep "click" to the aging wood beneath him. She made no noise when she walked. Her footsteps were light and easy. His were as if he carried the world on his shoulders.
Another creak of protest as she opened the door to the room with the fire. There were two purple pillows on the floor in front of the fire. It looked as if they had just been set out. They seemed to be the only two things in the room that wasn't covered in dust.
"Were you expecting me?"
"I saw you walking up the stairs in the fire."
"Oh. Yes, I forgot you can do that."
She nodded.
"So, do you know if the rain will clear up?"
"Yes"
"Can you tell me?"
"Im not allowed to say what I can see. For a true seer does not reveal straight foreword."
"So?"
"All I can say is that, 'Though some tragedies are meant to happen, others which seem they will, will not, and that which is seemingly not, will'"
He sighed in relief. So that which is expected will not happen, and something unexpected will. Maybe the floods wont come, and something will benefit him.
"Well, I think I will still pray to the gods. Just incase"
She nodded again.
He bowed his head and lowered his eyes. He did not close them, just lowered. Stared at the ground. He didn't like praying to a fire. He would rather speak with the gods himself, but his queen said it would only be right to come to this old shrine where the six of them would meet, and then on later the nine of them. This meeting place was considered holy by she whom he loved.
He glanced up at the other human in the room. She had her back turned to him. Her hands were up messing with the messy bun she had placed on top of her head, which held her hair back.
Two fingers grabbed the end of the ribbon. She started to slowly pull it. Her hair began cascading down her back. The way the light waves hit her hair made some areas appear to shine purple.
Her hair rolled down to the small of her back in slow motion. Damn those females with layered hair. One section right after the other. And she leaned to the side slightly to stretch her spine. Making her hair move more.
She stood up slowly, her back still to him. He had raised his head, watching her every move like a hawk watching its final supper. Great determination. He licked his lips.
Her head began to turn to look at him, he quickly, yet gently tucked his chin back to his chest and folded his hands, squeezing his eyes tighter. She smiled, knowing what she was doing to him.
In her opinion, if it was going to happen anyway, as she knew it would, she might as well make the best out of it. She turned back around.
"Mamoru-san, would you mind if I changed really fast? I have ash and soot all over my robes, and I hate to perform a ceremony in rags."
She had used san. Every hair on his neck had stood up, and she had only said it innocently, as she would have said anything else.
"Uhm, sure, go ahead."
"Thanks, but I can't leave the room while someone is praying at the fire, it disturbs the ki energy flow of everything. So ill have to change in here. Promise you wont look?"
"No problem."
"I appreciate it."
What a fruitless promise. Both grown adults knew that there was no point in saying he wouldn't look. He would. He was a man. That said everything.
He opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at her again. Her back was still to him. She shifted a little to her right foot, balancing her weight. One perfectly shaded arm slinked out from the white cotton top that embraced her loosely. She then used it to push the other side down. Wiggling a little, she pushed the white cotton robe down to touch the red skirt-like robe that encircled her waist. The long, raven hair was now touching bare skin. Her shoulders shot up a little, shivering for a moment at the cold she was facing, then slowly relaxing again, reminding themselves of the warm fire that was behind.
Mamoru stopped breathing. Even just what little parts of her back he could see were gorgeous. Her skin was perfectly colored, her back muscles perfectly toned, and when she turned to a diagonal for a second to undo the clasp that held the bottom half of her robes on, he could see her perfectly curved breasts. He reminded himself to breathe.
'Close your eyes Mamoru.' He tried to tell himself.
This, also, was fruitless.
Her arms pushed, ever so slowly, down her robes completely. One dainty foot stepped out onto the willow floor, which, as usual, gave its sigh of resistance.
She turned her head slowly, making eye contact with Mamoru. They both knew now that he was interested. The problem was, was she?
She wouldn't just play games though. Right? She wouldn't be so seductive and not let him touch her.
He rose to his feet. She turned around slowly, barely trying to cover up all that she now submitted to the willingness of roaming eyes.
He took a step foreword. Their eyes made contact, not breaking it this time. She took a step foreword.
Little to his knowledge, this was something she had wanted since they met. Since day one. She had wanted him. Her body had craved. And she also knew she would have him tonight. It was fated so.
He stared at her, not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to move. Not knowing how to react. Not knowing how she wanted him to react.
"You promised you wouldn't look" she whispered.
"You knew I would"
"What if I did?"
"Then you were asking for this"
He leaned foreword and pressed his lips onto hers forcefully. Her hands started to roam everything that covered him. Undoing every clasp one by one that led down to the bottom of his shirt. Finishing that task, she slid her hands over his bare chest and up to the sleeves, slowly she slid his sleeves down, caressing every muscle on her way. His body trembled at the agonizing pleasure of her touch. His shirt dropped to the floor behind them.
Her fingers ran down his chest again lightly, stopping to circle his belly button. With every touch, their kisses grew more frantic, more needing. Her fingers toyed with the button to his pants. She slowly pulled down his zipper. His pants fell to the floor also.
Her thumbs trailed around his waistband, making every muscle in his stomach tense and then relax. Her very touch made his entire body contract before fitting to her finger.
Stopping her thumbs on the side of his waist and deciding to not torture him anymore, she slid down his boxers with her hands. He stepped his feet out of his boxers and pants, and they walked towards the wall. Her hands found her way around his neck, followed by her arms. His hands found themselves all over her. Roaming the new territory he longed to be all over at once. His body pinned hers to the wall.
His mouth found her jawbone and neck, and started placing random kisses down it. His hands massaged her breasts. She tilted her head back against the wall, eyes squeezed tight, mouth open. Her breaths grew heavier by the minute. So did his.
He trailed his kisses lower. He kissed all the way around her breasts, neglecting her nipples and licking down to her belly button, where he drew circles, making her tense up. He kissed lower.
Getting ready on his knees, he picked up one of her legs and placed it on his shoulders. He leaned in and started kissing around her thighs. She whined and tilted herself foreword, as if to say, "stop teasing, just get on with it", but get on with it in a good way.
~*~
And that night he had her. Over and over again he had her. Both of them had such great stamina they kept at it.
~*~
The sun was rising through the windows in the holy room, casting beams of light into the willow made room, making spirits burst a flame, and glowing ashes loose their power. There was Mamoru and his priestess. His arms around her, her body on top of his. Lying on the two large pillows, in front of the dead fire. They both breathed at a slow, fixed rate. Their naked skin touched every inch of the other's.
~*~
The early morning fog never bothered Usagi as it had so many other people she knew. She rather enjoyed it. Enjoying things like the morning fog proved that Usagi had grown and matured so much. No longer was she a silly, frivolous, crybaby, she was a queen. A hero. A woman. She carried herself with elegance. Perfect poise. Everything your little girl would want to be, and much, much more.
Seiya had seen her a year ago. On the year anniversary of banishing Galaxia. He had fallen heel head over. It was like they were strangers when they met. His jaw had dropped, and she had just laughed, very quiet and lady like. He had immediately fell to one knee, kissed her hand, and told her how wonderful it was to have her grace his presence again. Mamoru had smiled proudly at what his Usako had become. Everyone was so proud. And the good thing? She still knew when to goof off and have fun. That's what "growing up" really is. It's maturing with style. That's what she had done.
Serenity would have been so proud.
The light taps of her shoes hit the staircase leading up to the temple. She smiled at all of the birds around her sang.
"Im so lucky," she thought to herself, "I have the best husband, the greatest friends, and soon ill even have the worlds most amazing daughter." She and Mamoru had decided it was almost time to start planning for Chibi- Usa. She smiled bigger. She missed the little spirit-ball, and was looking foreword to raising her on her own.
She slowly pushed the creaking willow door open. She knew she didn't have to knock. She had been coming here since she was fourteen after all. Four years. She saw Mamoru's staff lying against the wall.
"Ah, so my assumptions were correct."
She had thought he stayed at the shrine extra late to pray more intently on the well being of his people. He was so caring about them all like that. That's one thing she really loved about him. He cared about everyone.
Her shoes tapped on the hardwood floor, pulsating softly a rhythm of serenity.
She came to the room where the fire was kept. She turned the knob, and pushed open the door to the room.
"Honey, are you still pra-"
She stopped dead in the doorway. Her own staff fell to the ground, creating a loud kink. She gasped. Was it really as it looked? Her best friend and her husband?
Mamoru jerked his eyes opened and sat up, making Rei fall off of him. She made a thud against the ground and sat up herself.
"U. Usako."
"Usagi?!"
~*~*~*~*~
He cringed remembering the pained expression on her face that morning. She had trusted him with her life, and what had he done? He had let her down.
He promised he would always protect her. And now he had let her down. Nothing could protect her from the heartbreak that was to follow that dreadful night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Okay, so I'll say it here. I don't own sailor moon. I wont type that again. You just know now that I don't. that's why I write FAN FICTION. But hey, got to put the disclaimer. Right? Well, this is my first BSSM fanfic, and also my first fanfic with some type of sexual theme. Please don't flame too bad? Let me know how you like it though!
~SB
