A/N this chapter is a bit early actually. Okay it is about the oh fifth of November now.

            Harry Potter was always depressed now. He had been wandering the alleys for three hours. No one had a job for him today. Apparently most families spent late nights at the movies. He trudged along through the muck and grime of this part of the city. This was the poor section, where families lived ten to a house and some more. Aunts', uncles', cousins, and grandparents all living together.

            One family he knew didn't even need the aunts' uncles and cousins. Correction used to know. He knew no one now and no one knew him. His stomach rumbled but he had long ago learned to ignore it. He didn't know what he was doing in this section of town. No one had enough money to rip off. He hated doing that but he had to if he hadn't eaten for a while.

            He walked toward the richer houses. Rich and ignorant were how he liked 'em. His shoes were worn through. They had been a present all those years ago...

            "Happy Birthday too yoooouuu" they had crooned. He had shouted for them to stop. Not to break the glass and she had whacked him over the head with a box wrapped with gold paper.

            "Owww. Hey what was that for?" she had pretended not to here him. And had handed him the box.

            "Here smarty, open it." Inside had been a pair of Dragon Hide boots. "For where ever your feet take you." She had said with a smile on her face that did not go to her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. This was a week before he left.

   Bet she never thought they would carry me around London alleys. For five years. Of course not all of that time had been spent in London alleys. Some of it had been in a penthouse near the Thames; he didn't know exactly what date it was when he had decided not to go back. Maybe sometime in February 2001, the first Valentines Day since he left.

            He sighed and turned down a back alley one of his shortcuts. Ever since Cedric died the wizard world had definatly not held him in the same reverence as they had before. Partly thanks to Rita Skeeter, sure after Hermione captured her she hadn't been as bad but before… that had served i's purpose.

            There was a noise off to the side. Harry looked and all he saw were a bunch of boxes.

            Now I'm hearing things. Wonderful. He kept walking past junk people had thrown into the alley. Tires and boxes filled with old toys, car parts strewn about carelessly.

            The boxes rustled again but he shrugged it off blaming it on the wind. He walked on and was about to turn a corner when he heard some thing behind him.

            He turned as saw a figure it was too late however and the person pounced.

            "Get off me! I don't have anything you want." His voice was hoarse from long disuse.

            "Oh but you do young man." The person holding him down grunted.

            "No I don't have any money."

            "Tis not money I want but you Harry."

            "How do you know my name?"

            "I wonder… Maybe because I was there at your christening?"

            "What the he- Sirius?"

            "In the flesh."

            "What are you doing?"

            "At the moment? Holding you down. Which isn't very hard."

            "Real boost of my self esteem. Why are you here?"

            "To bring you back,"

            "You're wasting your time. I won't go back. There is nothing left for me there."

            "Hmm do the names Ron and Hermione ring a bell?"

            "They don't need me."

            "Does Ginny need you?" this stung and Harry was silent for a minute, finally he spoke quietly.

            "No. No she doesn't! They don't need me and I don't need anybody! Now let me go!"

            "No, Harry I won't you are hurting your friends by staying here. They are worried sick. You are coming with me!"

            "How? I can resist Imperio."

            "Oh? How long has it been since you've eaten Harry?"

            "I haven't had the pleasure in about 35 hours why?"

            "How would you like Hogwarts food? You wouldn't have to stay,"

            "Uh huh and I am the King of England. But I guess I can always escape as usual."

            "Yeah. If it weren't for this you could but you can't. Stupefy!!"

            Harry awoke a long time later on a bed. It had been an eternally long time since he had awoken on a bed. It felt so strange. To soft when he was used to sleeping on concrete but it was nice. He reached instinctively for his glasses and there they were right next to him,

            He sat up and gasped wondering if he was back in fourth year. There was Madame Pomfrey.

            "Madame?"

            "Well Potter you are awake, good." She placed a tray in front of him. "Eat up you are extremely malnourished." I wonder.

            He dug into the food ravenously.

            "My word Potter, how long has it been since you've eaten?"

            "Depends. What day is it?" his mouth was fulll of food and this came out eaends at ay ith fit

            "Why it is Monday."

            He swallowed "Hmmm must have been… Friday? Saturday? Something like that." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter I'm eating now."

            "Well I guess not. Was that usual for you? Going four days without eating?"

            "Oh gosh no! That was a good week."  The nurse mumbled her disapproval.

            "I don't know Potter seems like only yesterday you were in here begging to leave so you could go play quidditch. And now. Well I doubt a broom would even know you were on it."

            "You're probably right Madame you're probably right."

She walked out of the daycare ready to pull her hair out. The ten screaming three year olds had nearly driven her out of her mind. Before going home she stopped by the corner drug store. She bought a bottle of Aspirin. This was a high expense but the other alternative was that she would go nuts.

            When she got home she was upset with the quiet. CJ was back at school and the flat was empty. She sighed and collapsed on the cot that served as a bed for two people.

            She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew it was dark.  She wandered into the other room and dug a box out from inside a drawer. Inside there were some papers a wand and a photo album.

            She took out the photo album and opened it blowing off the dust, when she turned the page the spine cracked.

            There was a picture of him.

            "Oh baby! Why did you leave me? We need you! Please come back baby come back to me!" she sobbed for hours. When she finally ran out of sobs. She put up the album and left the flat. 

  She wandered down the streets not realizing where she was going. Before she knew it she was in front of a place she never wanted to see again. The creaky old sign read The Leaky Caldron. Dear lord. She felt an inexplicable force draw her inside.

It looked no different from her memories. She wandered toward the bar and there was Tom.

"Tom?" he had his back turned and when he turned it gasped.

"Ms. Ginny! Is it you?"

"Yeah it's me."

"Since when are you back?"

"I am not back, I kind of wandered in here."

"Well then it was meant to be. Don't you wonder how muggle bornes find this place? When someone needs to be here it draws them."

"Oh. So what does this mean?" (A/N if this was a musical Tom would burst out in song but it ain't and he ain't)

"It means my dear that it is your time to come back,"

"Oh. Well maybe."

"Not maybe if you don't your past will haunt you."

"Like a Christmas Carol?"

"Exactly,"

"Okay well I guess I'll see you soon." Then when she left she woke and realized she was still on the bed. Maybe I ought to take this as a sign.

She withdrew CJ from his school the next day. It was a long train ride out to the country church where his school was located. She arrived at the headmistress's office hot and sweaty despite the weather.

"I need to withdrawn my son Charles John Potter." She panted.

"Oh of course little Charles John I must say we'll miss him." My kid? He'd kick you if you tried to call him Charles John. I don't think you know him lady.

"Really? Well I am sure. Now if I could have him please?"

"Of course dearie. The children are in the dining hall."

"Which way?"

"Why northeast building but the paperwo-"

"Screw the paperwork!" she ran off and dashed into the dining hall. There was complete and utter silence until,

"Mummy!" he jumped up from a table near the front and race to her. When he jumped into her arms she buried her face in his hair.

"Hey kiddo. Guess what?"

"What?"

"We're going home!"

"Back to the stinky flat?" his choice of words was comical as they were passing a sewer that smelt like dead fish and she wondered why she sent her child here.

"No. Not that. Never again."  Why? Why am I going back? It was just a dream right?

"Weally? Then where are we goin'?"

"Home." She stated simply. He understood and started yakking about Uncle and Gran'ma.

"Will Gran'ma wanna see me?" Mum is going f-ing kill me

"I am sure she will be glad to see you sweetie. I don't know about Mummy."

"She's mad at you huh Mum."

"I think so."

"Oh no…" CJ knew what his grandmother was like when she was mad and it was not pretty. He fell asleep on the train to the city and she was left alone with her thoughts.

Why am I doing this? Does it have anything to do with Him? No it can't.

She soon joined her son in slumber and was awakened by the conductor.

"Ma'am here we are Ottery St. Catcpole." She thanked him and got off leading a very tired CJ by the hand. She headed not for the house outside of the village that she had spent ages of time but a smaller one in the middle of town. It was late almost one in the morning but she knocked anyway.

She knew they must look a sight her hair was tangled and she knew they were both caked in dirt. There were noises inside lights clicked on and soon the door opened.

"For god's sake who are you here at this hour?" the man wasn't looking at her at first then he looked down. He was not tall but he was taller than her.

"Ginny? Is that you?"

"Hello Bill." Her voice was almost a whisper and as her brother wrapped her in his strong arms she felt fourteen again. He released her after a long while and then looked down.

"Well hello little man you're asleep on your feet." He lifted her boy up and walked inside Ginny followed. Though his house was not huge it was extravagant to her after so long in a three room flat.

She laid the light bag she had containing all her possessions on the floor in front of the couch and sat down. Bill returned Fleur in tow. They had gotten married the year before she had left.

"Geennee what brings you back?" Fleur sounded concerned but Ginny was weary of her.

"I don't know. I just felt I had to come back," she didn't tell them about the dream not now.

"I take it Mum doesn't know you are here?"" Ginny cringed.

"Would I be alive if she did?"

"And you are going to tell her how?"

"With my big strong brother in front of me. With a wand." She looked at him with her famous Puppy dog eyes.

"I was going to go over there anyway tomorrow Bill you can come."

"Yeah any thing for you Gin. Ron told me where you were. Why put yourself through that?"

"I couldn't take it here. I lasted didn't I? We are healthy. And thin but…"

"Thin? That kid is skin and bones."

"And you are a rail Geenny. Ow do you do eet?" Fleur does anything get through that hair?

"Simple first birth a preemie. Then eat one meal a day for three years then you add in throwing up from stress along with serious lack of appetite. Rinse and repeat." Fleur gaped at her and Bill looked overwhelmingly sympathetic.

"Oh Ginny. How ever do you do it?"

"One day at a time Bill. One day at a time. So big brother got any beds for your little sister?"

"Yeah. Sure." He got up and led her up a flight of stairs

"Thanks Bill" she said before he left her "for everything you've ever done for me." She started crying. Bill who had reached the door came over and hugged her. She buried her face in his chest.

"Shh. It's okay " he stroked her hair. Thinking all her life she's been through crap. Why? Him. She stopped fast enough and he left her. She crawled into the bed and slept her tears away.

She was eight or nine and it was summer. Her and Ron were darting among the trees so happy so carefree then the scene changed she was older atleast twenty and the dark was awful the voice was laughing

"He can't save you now! Then pain oh too much pain she awoke to birds chirping and sunlight over her face.