Willow felt small, sad, defeated and confused as she waited for Headmaster Dumbledore to return to his office. When she had arrived he'd said something about needing to speak with Hagrid and for her to wait for him to return. Then he left leaving her alone in his office.

She quietly looked around the room as she fought back her tears. She hadn't really taken any of it in yesterday, she'd been sure it had all been a ruse by Giles to get her to relax so he could kill her. She'd been certain her death was eventual, after everything that she done she felt she deserved death. What she didn't feel she deserved was being introduced to the Wizarding World and getting a chance to attend Hogworts. She become addicted to magic and through that gone evil, how would practicing more magic help her to heal?

She didn't understand and she missed Giles. He hadn't left her since he'd brought her to England and now he suddenly wasn't around and she was alone with all these unfamiliar faces. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least. The only thing she found herself taking comfort in was the conversation she had promised Professor Lupin. She was going to talk to him about Oz. Idly she wondered where Oz was right now, how he was. Part of her was worried about her talk with Lupin, about going into Oz leaving Sunnydale. She just wanted to go back to memories that didn't make her feel as if someone had reached into her chest and slowly extracted her heart. Oz's leaving had lead to Tara and Tara...she missed Tara so much she thought her head would explode. So perhaps she wouldn't go into Oz's leaving tonight, who said she couldn't continue her tale another night?

As she made this decision the Headmaster returned and gave her a kind smile. She wanted to return it, to smile in turn, but she just didn't have it within her so she settled for asking the question that had been playing in her mind for several hours now, "Hi...I-I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to call you. Professor Lupin suggest I just ask you and I-I...well I'm just not sure what I'm suppose to call you."

Her babbling only caused his smile to deepen as he answered her, "Most of the students here call me Professor to my face and what they call me not to my face is between them."

"Oh, Professor is good," she said softly but slightly confused. She liked the Headmaster, he was warm, understanding and he had this air about him as if he were looking for the humor in a situation. She wished they'd had a principal like him back at Sunnydale High, things would have been so much better for Buffy, but no they had been stuck with Synder. The fact that he was so different from Synder gave Willow a bit of hope, however she was still confused about why she was at Hogworts to study magic when to her it seemed magic should be the last thing she was around.

It took a moment for her to work up her courage but she finally managed to ask, "I have another question too. I...Why am I here?"

"A rather broad question, no one really knows why one is here. Many believe that," at Willow's puzzled look Dumbledore paused before asking, "Do you mean why you are here here? Why you are here at Hogworts? Or perhaps why you are here in my office after diner?"

"Um the last two."

"Perhaps we should start with the later and then proceed to the former. Willow, may I call you Willow?"

"If you want," Willow told him dully.

Her lack of interest in what he called her caused the Headmaster to regard her with slight concern. Just before diner Professor Lupin had been by to express concern that Willow seemed distant. He had had to wait till after diner before he'd had the opportunity to talk with Hagrid about Willow's behavior while getting her school supplies. Hagrid had said something to the effect that she had been polite to everyone but extremely distant, that it was as if her body were just a shell and she was elsewhere. Considering her resent ordeal and loss of a loved one it was perfectly understandable, but at the same time still cause for concern. It had been brought to his attention that Willow was a rather powerful witch, just how powerful he was not yet sure, and for her to be lost to darkness could be cause for great concern.

Therefore he smiled at her even more kindly before continuing, "The later then for starters, I had you come here to my office because I felt you might have some questions as to why you were sent to Hogworts."

"Which then leads us to the former," Willow mused, "You're right , I don't understand why the coven sent me here."

"They felt that sending you here would be an easier introduction to our world. You've been through a lot with the loss of your girlfriend and your fall into the darker aspects of magic workings, they wanted you to heal from this and being around children can be very healing."

"My being here still doesn't make any sense to me. My addiction to magic got me into this mess in the first place. I'm trying to, I'm getting over that addiction, so how can learning more magic do me any good?"

Her question caused Dumbledore to shake his head at her kindly, "It is a common misconception Willow, one does not become addicted to magic."

"But I was!" Willow protested in slight agitation.

"Willow, one can become addicted to the power that magic gives them. One can also be addicted to darkness, which if the bearer allows it may come into play where magic is concerned. To these things you were addicted, not the magic itself, but the power and the darkness you allowed into your magic doing."

"B-but you have power?"

"Only through respect. I do not have power because I demand it, such power corrupts. Magic is a way of life, but if we let it control everything we do in our lives, if we do something by magic that could naturally be done without magic then it is not natural and gives a wrong sense of power that is addicting. This is what you were addicted to and it was the opening that the darkness needed to nestle itself within you. Also it is through misunderstanding something that we can often be led astray. Therefore learning more about magic, so that you could have a better understanding of the power you naturally wield, will hopefully keep you on the right path."

"Do you know what I tried to do?" Willow whispered tears coming to her eyes.

"As I understand it you tried to end the world, do you think you would have succeeded?"

"If Xander hadn't stopped me. It was his love for me that stopped me."

"Love is a very powerful thing."

"It's what got me into this mess in the first place," Willow sniffled as tears began to come to her eyes.

"Willow," Dumbledore said softly, "I do understand that losing you're girlfriend is where your fall into darkness took an abrupt turn, but never think that if would have been better to not have experienced her love. By doing so you tarnish your memories and her position in your life. Who you are is directly related to her, she has effected who you are today. Therefore do not regret you love for one another."

Tears began to slide down Willow's face as she took in his words, "I don't know if I can do this."

"Willow, I don't believe you would have been sent to us if you did not have the strength of character needed. Most who give themselves to darkness never recover and you are so near and so close, closer then any I've ever met whose tried. Please don't disbelieve in yourself now, you've only just begun. Give yourself time to heal."

"And how do I do that?"

"Participate in class, make some friends. Being around children can be very healing. Do not think yourself the first person that gave into darkness to come and reside within these walls. Perhaps...first things first I think. I would rather come to an understanding of exactly how powerful you are."

"And how will we do that?"

"We'll start at the beginning of course and work our way forward."

"Beginning?"

"Your first spell, I'd like you to recreated it."

"I-I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Perhaps you had better explain."

"Well I didn't think I succeeded at first, but I knew, a part of me knew, and I don't think its a spell we should try and recreate."

"And why is that?"

"I didn't do it lightly. I did it for a friend because of her love for another friend who I had love for as well, but not that kind of love. I had friendship love for him. The spell its big. I think somehow I tapped into the person who originally cast it on him. I-I-," Willow's voice trailed off as she searched for words.

"Could you recreate the spell?"

"Only if you've got an Orb of Thesulah and a vampire that needs a soul."

At her words the Headmaster froze and actually rocked back into his seat slightly. He knew she was powerful, but powerful enough to restore a soul? He recovered himself quickly and told her, "Perhaps you are correct then, souls are not meant to be given back lightly. That is very ancient magic. It is in fact lost to us."

"I, we knew a...well Giles dated um a gypsy who had been sent to watch our friend," Willow told him softly her eyes downcast, "Maybe this isn't a good idea, my being here. Me big on the mojo isn't a good thing and I don't want to go bad again and be around the students. I don't want to be a bad influence and I don-"

"Willow, you will never heal if you keep thinking like this. Carissa would not have suggest to Mr. Giles and the coven that you be sent here if she thought it would be bad for the children. Also do not think the coven sent you here lightly, they weighed all the possibilities before they contacted me. Willow you would not be here if we thought that you would be harmful to the children."

His words caused Willow pause. After considering what the Headmaster had told her she carefully said, "Carissa is a seer isn't she?"

At his nod she continued, "Right before I came here she took me aside. She said that 'they will be as much good to you as you are to them'. I didn't understand it at the time. I'm not sure I understand it now, but I-I guess your right, she wouldn't have suggest to Giles that they sent me here if I was going to prove harmful to anyone."

"A good way to look at the situation," Dumbledore praised, "Are you feeling better about being here now."

As Willow nodded a knock came from the door.

"Ahh, I believe that would be Ms. Granger to escort you to Professor Lupin's."

"H-How...Do you know everything?"

"No one knows everything Willow, I only know what I need to."

Willow wiped her face and gathered up her bag. As she headed for the door Professor Dumbledore's words stopped her, "And Willow, do try to let some of the students in. I believe you will find them to be most helpful in your recovery. Shutting everyone out becomes a habit hard to break."

"I-I," Willow paused then sighed before saying, "I'll try."

Dumbledore watched quietly as Willow greeted Hermione at the door and the two girls left. Then he pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. An idea was brewing in the back of his mind, one he wanted to try, something he thought just might lead to Willow healing and if he was lucky someone else might start to heal as well. If he was lucky he reminded himself. First though he realize he would need to contact one Carissa Constance and hopefully convince her to come to Hogworts.

"Do you think she would come back to Hogworts for an old friend Fawkes?" he asked.

The regal bird tilted it head regarding him.

"Then again judging by the time she would have left the coven and traveled to Arabella's and Arabella Figg is just the witch to talk someone into doing something. Sending the letter there might be for the best."

The phoenix nodded it's crimson head as if agree with Dumbledore's words. It was all the Headmaster needed, he began to write.

Note:

At first I was going to include Willow and Lupin's conversation with this chapter but it turned out longer then I intended so I'll save the werewolf conversation for the next. Willow's first day at Hogworts is almost over and afterward the story should proceed on a swifter basis. That said onto the thanking:

Cassie-bear01 - thanx I'm glad you like it so far

AineRose - thanx, Oz is one of my favs too.