Harry Potter ran through the same halls he had walked through the day before. Several times he nearly knocked people over as he ran blindly. When he reached the gargoyle he muttered the password and bounded up the stairs four at a time.
"Sirius!" he bellowed. And the door swung open.
"You yelled?" Sirius' look was amused even though he knew the reason for this visit.
"You bet your life I did. Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius stepped aside and gestured into the office. Harry stepped in and started pacing.
"Didn't know meself until I sent you that note."
"So she's back."
"That's right. Showed up the same night I dragged you here."
"And this has to do with me?" Harry glared but Sirius could see the anguish and eagerness in his eyes.
"You love her and she loves you."
"Once that was true. Once a long time ago, before all this. Now I know she is better off with out me and I am sure she has realized this herself." He smirked. "Yeah, I may love her but that doesn't matter. I deserted her and everything I knew I should have stayed but now I don't deserve her."
"Don't be so bloody selfish. Harry you don't deserve her and that may be true but she wants you."
"Don't be a prat Sirius she probably hates me. I'd hate me if it were that way." He sat in one of the chairs his head in his hands,
"I highly doubt that." Harry looked up.
"Sirius might I remind you that I don't even want to be here let alone see her? I'd rather be back sweeping chimneys than going through this."
"Would you really? Then how come you haven't run off?" Harry looked into Sirius' eyes but didn't speak. "I'll tell you why you didn't. You didn't leave because you want to be back. You want to see her even if you won't admit it to yourself. And you want to see your son."
"Right on one out of two. Sirius you are losing your touch."
"Am I?"
"Yes." Harry sighed. "I think." Then the door opened again and Ron Weasly burst in.
"Hello Sirius. Hello Harry."
"'Lo Ron." Harry muttered.
"She er Sirius does he?" Sirius nodded. "Well she'll come."
"Well isn't that just so goddamn wonderful?" Harry snarled.
"Actually yeh it is. Be nice to get you two back together."
"Do you both want to torture me?" Harry muttered.
"Harry c'mon on it'll be alright. Don't you want-"
"I'll tell you both something. Life was so much better when somebody loved me. I woke up every morning knowing that she was there. Knowing that my life was worthwhile, knowing that somebody cared. But now I know I never deserved that. I know that she is much better without me and that she needs to find someone else."
"Aw bull Harry! She was so torn up after you left that it was a week before she stopped crying and a full month before she'd eat. She missed you more than she'd admit. And you miss her whether you like it or not you are going to see her." Harry sat back in the chair resigned.
"Okay. Okay I'll see her. Are you happy now?" both of the other men grinned.
"Yes." They said in unison. Harry shook his head and left the room. Back in his quarters he lay on the bed wondering where all this had come from. One day he was walking along minding his own business (a bit too much) and now he was being forced to see her. Though he didn't want to admit it even to himself he knew that he wanted to see her deep down. He wanted to hold her, to love her, and inside he wanted her to love him.
He had however lost that chance the moment he decided not to come back. Sirius had struck a nerve when he talked about his son. Yes, he wanted to see his son but did his son need a father like him? A deserter? A loser? Did he need a father who couldn't face his fears? But all that aside yes he did want to see his son.
He looked out the window next to the bed and saw an owl fly out of the owlery. He remembered the day that he first knew that he had to leave.
He had been sitting at the table in their house in Hogsmeade sorting through the mail. A letter had fallen into his lap and he recognized the old-fashioned script as Dumbledores. Concerned immediately he opened it. The dark lord had been becoming so much more powerful.
Dear Harry,
Harry I am afraid that there is only one spell that can defeat Voldemort. This spell is immensely complicated and can only be preformed by the strongest wizard. Harry I know you will want to perform it but I am afraid that I must forbid you. This spell can drain a wizard of his powers or in the worst of cases his life. You have a young child and a family. I can not let you do something that will endanger them.
In the event that this spell backfires I am sure that Voldemort will go after the person he deems most likely to have cast it. That I am sure is you. Because of this I must ask you to go into hiding if you possibly can. I will arrange for you to be told when he is killed. Please do this Harry for the sake of the entire wizarding world.
Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore.
After he finished the letter he had rushed to tell Ginny they had cried and Dumbledore arranged for his to leave a week later they had all been sure that he would come back. He had felt it, when the dark lord was destroyed the bond between the two was so strong that it had caused him some pain for a few days. Of course by then he had made his decision not to come back.
Now that had all changed he was back, and Dumbledore was gone. Fawkes perch now sat in his room and the other item Dumbledore had given him sat in the closet. The pensive. He got it out and sat it on the desk. Taking his wand he extracted a thin gray hair from his head once it touched the pensive a figure of Ginny Weasly rose from it.
"Oh Ginny." He whispered before tears fell down his cheeks.
It was Friday. This was the day that she had dreaded and looked forward to for a week, she wanted to see him if only to yell at him. She left Bill's house early, she was to arrive at Hogwarts at noon but she did not want CJ to see her leave. Besides that she needed some time to think.
She walked up the road to her old house and sat on a rock near the edge of the garden praying that her mother wouldn't see her. This was the place that she had always come to think as a child and she missed it.
Her thoughts settled on him. Her husband Harry Potter. She realized that he was still her husband. She still wore his ring. She had been five months pregnant at their wedding. Not that they had gotten married because of that, quite the opposite CJ had been conceived the night of their engagement.
He was born a month later, two months premature. The doctors hadn't known how that would affect him but by the time he was two years old it was evident. Learning disabled with attention deffecit disorder. He was a sweet kid, loving and helpful but he went through hell at school, partly because he couldn't read and partly because all the children knew he didn't have a father. With that thought Ginny knew what she must do.
A sudden noise startled her. She turned and nearly toppled of her rock.
"Oh dear, Mum. Well I'm leaving now so don't waste your breath yelling at me."
"Ginny- wait." Ginny turned to face her mother.
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry about the other day it's just well that I missed you so much."
"Did you?" Ginny kept her voice flat.
"Yes. Sweet heart please don't be mad. I love you." Ginny embraced her mother tightly.
"I love you too mum but I have to go." She went down to the village to get her child.
They arrived at Hogwarts exactly at noon and were shown to the headmasters' office by a houself. He was already in there. She had left CJ outside with the houself, afraid of what either of them might say or do.
"Hello Ginny." He said not looking quite at her.
"Hello Harry, it's been awhile."
"Er yes it has. I'm sorry about that I really am." She felt the heat well up inside her and she didn't quite know how to control it.
"Are you?"
"Yes I am."
"And that's supposed to make up for it all?"
"No er of course not, I just thought-"
"You didn't think four years ago did you?"
"No I guess I didn't but if you'd just let me explain. "
"What's to explain?" she listened to her voice but it didn't seem like her's it sounded like⦠her mothers. She didn't want to do what her mother had done to her; she didn't want it to be that way. "Sorry, you can explain I don't know what came over me." Meekly she sat down in the other chair.
"It's not much really just that I realized what a jerk I was to leave you and I couldn't face that."
"Well I can't really say that I don't know what that's like. I too left this world because I couldn't face something. That however was lack of you." she thought she saw a hint of a blush in his sallow cheeks but she may have imagined it.
"I can't imagine why, I don't deserve to be missed."
"He's been like this since I brought him back Ginny." Sirius commented from the desk.
"Why not?" Harry muttered. "It's the truth." As angry as she may have been Ginny couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"No it's not Harry." He turned to her questioningly. "You are a hero no matter what. I know you think you should have been the one to cast that spell and that you were being a coward to leave us. I know you too well not to know that and I also know that it is not true. You deserve to be missed and you deserve to be loved. And you deserve to see your son."
"CJ?"
"Yes." She walked over to the door and opened it. "I'll take him, thank you Kinky." She took CJ by the hand and led him it to the room. When they were in front of Harry she knelt down. "Ceej this is your Daddy."
"I gotsa real Daddy now?" Ginny nodded. Cj looked up at Harry who smiled warmly. A sudden look of panic crossed the boy's face and he whispered something in Ginny's ear.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?" he nodded and walked up to Harry.
"Scuse me Daddy but will you like me even though I can't read?" Harry instinctively picked the small boy up.
"Of course CJ." He said smiling at him but he shot a questioning look at Ginny.
"He has learning disabilities because of his prematurely." Harry nodded.
"Ginny do you think I could take him down to Hogsmeade for an ice cream?" she smiled.
"Sure Harry bring him to Bill's house later." Harry nodded and set CJ down.
"Its okay buddy be a good boy for Daddy." Cj nodded solemnly and Harry came up from behind throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As they left Ginny stood.
"What do you think Sirius?" she asked.
"I think he's a damn good father and a good husband".
"Me too."
