10: Revelations part 1
[Haldir Again]
There are three more stops until we reach Minas Tirith, which we will probably arrive at in a few days. I've been doing well. I think I am nearly almost quite over Marien now. Yup, nearly.
~*~*~*~
There's so much going through my head at the moment that I'm feeling quite stressed. I keep running over the same thoughts:
-Should I return to Lorien for the rest of my days in Endor?
-Should I avenge myself against Legolas for all the hurt he has caused me? (YES)
-Do I really have no chance with Marien?
-Will Arwen ever forgive me?
-Will I ever apologise to Glindir?
My life is really stated to get tiring and this is worrying because I haven't given a thought to crossing the Sundering Seas yet.
I'm too young to sail!
*
There are no more feasts in Galadriel's honour, which is quite relieving to her since she embarrassed herself the last time. Now we have to march all day and all night because Elrond calculated that at our current speed, we would reach the white city 5 days late of schedule.
Now we have no rest.
*
Look at Marien on her pretty white pony there, laughing and smiling. She hasn't given me a second glance since that night and I think she has forgotten about me completely. If I fell dead on the road and the flag- banner crushed my skull she wouldn't notice.
The Siren.
I hope Legolas tears her heart the way she tore mine.
No.
What am I saying? I still love her, don't I?
Do I still love her after she hurt me like that?
No. I don't love her. How can I love her after she broke my heart like that?
I don't love her at all.
But I still care for her.
Nariel is staring at me again, and in my current mood I want to stick my tongue at her, but I don't. I hate everything so much. She's talking to Glindir (who I am NOT talking to), something about being worried about Marien and her love for Mirkwood Prince. No guesses for identity.
We are passing endless fields, groves and woods in our march. There were still marks of Sauron's former malice on the land, but the greenness of the season made it a beautiful journey south.
Elrond is riding beside me. He doesn't care that my feet hurt with all the marching that we've been doing because he is on his fat horse.
"So, Haldir!" oh, Eru, he's conversing again.
"My lord?" I said flatly.
"What do you think the white city will look like? I haven't been there in so long."
"I don't know my lord. I've never been to Minas Tirith." I replied, "From all accounts, it is a splendid city with beautiful architecture. Of course, it does not surpass the work of the Elves here, but it is a masterpiece among the Edain. "
"Do you think so?" he said unenthusiastically.
"I don't know. I've never been there."
"What about you Erestor?"
Erestor rode up beside him, riding his black stallion. He had a regal air about him, being Elronds chief advisor and counsellor. He was the one who criticized Elrond's plan of destroying the ring in Mount Doom. Now he was going to celebrate the success of it. I'd never noticed him much before; despite the fact he was the father of my (former) beloved. He looked nothing like his daughters, who probably got their looks from their mother, a handmaiden to Celebrian. I heard she journeyed with her mistress over the sea.
"My lord?" he said. He had a majestic voice and was only slightly shorter than Elrond himself.
"What do you think our destination will be like?"
"I am not sure my lord. I would agree with Haldir of Lorien. It is said to be a splendid city indeed. I would not undermine our reception there."
Haldir of Lorien.
Why did he call me that? I'm a resident of Rivendell now, and have been for nearly a month. A PERMANENT resident of Rivendell. Why did he call me 'Haldir of LORIEN'? Is it some sort of surname they have to add onto my name? Will I forever be the Lothlorien March warden to them? The Lothlorien captain? The Lothlorien elf?
" Indeed." Said Elrond again before a long silence ensued. He was brooding again. It was late evening and the sun was soon to go down but we would continue marching until daylight with only a few short pauses in-between.
*
I can't help staring at Marien. Sometimes I think I still love her, sometimes I want to hurt her how she hurt me. When I look at her she seems beautiful and cruel, yet sometimes I find her ugly and unattractive. I know it's because she turned me down, that I'm having mixed feelings about her.
I'm so confused.
Before, I would go to Glindir for help. Sure, he was annoying, very annoying, very VERY annoying, but advice from him was the best you could get, as long as you could stand his geeky demeanour.
That's why I went to apologise.
"It's all right." he said when I said 'sorry' to him later on that night, "I should have been more considerate of your feelings."
"No, it's really my fault, I lost control." I can't believe I'm actually apologising, its so unlike me! But it doesn't actually feel so bad. Feels kinda nice to get it all off my chest.
"I heard what happened between you and Marien." He said after a while.
"How did you know?!"
"I have my ways." He said smugly.
"Oh, so a little birdie whispered in it your ear then."
"Yes, her name was Nariel."
"I can't believe you can stand her." I said, disgusted.
"Hey! Nariel's really nice you know, not at all like your taste in women. She may have a temper, and she may seem self conceited, but she's really smart and funny and pretty, unlike her sister who doesn't know the meaning of: 'break it to him gently'."
Well, that shut me up.
"I'm sorry about what happened." He said finally, "I suppose I encouraged you to get false hopes up."
"Mmm."
[uneventful chapter, this. The next one may turn out better.]
[Haldir Again]
There are three more stops until we reach Minas Tirith, which we will probably arrive at in a few days. I've been doing well. I think I am nearly almost quite over Marien now. Yup, nearly.
~*~*~*~
There's so much going through my head at the moment that I'm feeling quite stressed. I keep running over the same thoughts:
-Should I return to Lorien for the rest of my days in Endor?
-Should I avenge myself against Legolas for all the hurt he has caused me? (YES)
-Do I really have no chance with Marien?
-Will Arwen ever forgive me?
-Will I ever apologise to Glindir?
My life is really stated to get tiring and this is worrying because I haven't given a thought to crossing the Sundering Seas yet.
I'm too young to sail!
*
There are no more feasts in Galadriel's honour, which is quite relieving to her since she embarrassed herself the last time. Now we have to march all day and all night because Elrond calculated that at our current speed, we would reach the white city 5 days late of schedule.
Now we have no rest.
*
Look at Marien on her pretty white pony there, laughing and smiling. She hasn't given me a second glance since that night and I think she has forgotten about me completely. If I fell dead on the road and the flag- banner crushed my skull she wouldn't notice.
The Siren.
I hope Legolas tears her heart the way she tore mine.
No.
What am I saying? I still love her, don't I?
Do I still love her after she hurt me like that?
No. I don't love her. How can I love her after she broke my heart like that?
I don't love her at all.
But I still care for her.
Nariel is staring at me again, and in my current mood I want to stick my tongue at her, but I don't. I hate everything so much. She's talking to Glindir (who I am NOT talking to), something about being worried about Marien and her love for Mirkwood Prince. No guesses for identity.
We are passing endless fields, groves and woods in our march. There were still marks of Sauron's former malice on the land, but the greenness of the season made it a beautiful journey south.
Elrond is riding beside me. He doesn't care that my feet hurt with all the marching that we've been doing because he is on his fat horse.
"So, Haldir!" oh, Eru, he's conversing again.
"My lord?" I said flatly.
"What do you think the white city will look like? I haven't been there in so long."
"I don't know my lord. I've never been to Minas Tirith." I replied, "From all accounts, it is a splendid city with beautiful architecture. Of course, it does not surpass the work of the Elves here, but it is a masterpiece among the Edain. "
"Do you think so?" he said unenthusiastically.
"I don't know. I've never been there."
"What about you Erestor?"
Erestor rode up beside him, riding his black stallion. He had a regal air about him, being Elronds chief advisor and counsellor. He was the one who criticized Elrond's plan of destroying the ring in Mount Doom. Now he was going to celebrate the success of it. I'd never noticed him much before; despite the fact he was the father of my (former) beloved. He looked nothing like his daughters, who probably got their looks from their mother, a handmaiden to Celebrian. I heard she journeyed with her mistress over the sea.
"My lord?" he said. He had a majestic voice and was only slightly shorter than Elrond himself.
"What do you think our destination will be like?"
"I am not sure my lord. I would agree with Haldir of Lorien. It is said to be a splendid city indeed. I would not undermine our reception there."
Haldir of Lorien.
Why did he call me that? I'm a resident of Rivendell now, and have been for nearly a month. A PERMANENT resident of Rivendell. Why did he call me 'Haldir of LORIEN'? Is it some sort of surname they have to add onto my name? Will I forever be the Lothlorien March warden to them? The Lothlorien captain? The Lothlorien elf?
" Indeed." Said Elrond again before a long silence ensued. He was brooding again. It was late evening and the sun was soon to go down but we would continue marching until daylight with only a few short pauses in-between.
*
I can't help staring at Marien. Sometimes I think I still love her, sometimes I want to hurt her how she hurt me. When I look at her she seems beautiful and cruel, yet sometimes I find her ugly and unattractive. I know it's because she turned me down, that I'm having mixed feelings about her.
I'm so confused.
Before, I would go to Glindir for help. Sure, he was annoying, very annoying, very VERY annoying, but advice from him was the best you could get, as long as you could stand his geeky demeanour.
That's why I went to apologise.
"It's all right." he said when I said 'sorry' to him later on that night, "I should have been more considerate of your feelings."
"No, it's really my fault, I lost control." I can't believe I'm actually apologising, its so unlike me! But it doesn't actually feel so bad. Feels kinda nice to get it all off my chest.
"I heard what happened between you and Marien." He said after a while.
"How did you know?!"
"I have my ways." He said smugly.
"Oh, so a little birdie whispered in it your ear then."
"Yes, her name was Nariel."
"I can't believe you can stand her." I said, disgusted.
"Hey! Nariel's really nice you know, not at all like your taste in women. She may have a temper, and she may seem self conceited, but she's really smart and funny and pretty, unlike her sister who doesn't know the meaning of: 'break it to him gently'."
Well, that shut me up.
"I'm sorry about what happened." He said finally, "I suppose I encouraged you to get false hopes up."
"Mmm."
[uneventful chapter, this. The next one may turn out better.]
