Revelations part 2

"Rest Break!" Elrond called out to the company after a while and the procession halted. The Elves went to find somewhere to sit and relax for a few minutes before the train started up again.

"Elbereth, I need a breather," said Elrond as he sat down onto the ground, a mat underneath him. He had done no walking whatsoever but he was so lethargic he needed several rest stops a day. Which meant we had to halt several times a day. You can tell he hasn't been away from Rivendell in a while.

His counsellors and close friends sat nearby him and Arwen beside him, on her own rug. She pointed her nose in the air when walking past me and I knew she still loathed my guts. Glindir tittered at this.

"SHE was the one who hit ME" I tried to explain.

She sat down on her rug with her back to me and called her handmaidens to bring water, for she was thirsty. Nariel came forward with a jug of water and sat beside her. She smiled at Glindir but when her eyes met mine, but she turned away quickly and proceeded to pour water for her lady.

Glindir tittered again and whispered in my ear: "I think she likes you."

I didn't know what to say so I remained silent. ~Please let him be joking. ~ We sat there in silence, watching the sun go down over the horizon. It was now Night. Several Elves lit their lanterns.

Arwen sighed loudly and began removing her jewellery, saying loudly in a stage whisper how hot it was. She put her rings in a pile beside her on the grass and splashed a little of the water on her face, complaining that once she got to the White City, the first thing she was going to do was have a hot bath before meeting her brothers, fresh from victory of war.

She emphasised the last words as if I didn't know what it meant.

While she wasn't looking, I took one of the rings she had taken off and studied it. It looked like a diamond ring and I wondered if I presented Marien with something as beautiful as this, would she choose me over Legolas?

No. I wouldn't do that in the first place.

I was over her.

While I was thinking, Elrond stood up and proclaimed that we were staring up again. Eru, more walking and flag carrying. Arwen stood up again and called for Nariel to pick up the jewellery that she had left. She obeyed, but she had forgotten her diamond ring, still in my hand. Oh, well, Arwen had so many she wouldn't remember anyway.

I put my newly acquired ring in a pocket on my robe and rose to resume my place in the procession, but there was a slight problem.

Where the hell was my banner?

It was quite dark and I asked a nearby elf with a torch if he had seen my banner when I realised it was Lamalas.

"Haldir!" he said cheerily, "haven't seen you in a bit. Been all right then, has it? No more heartbreak?"

"Uh . . . yeah, yeah it has. I'm great, yeah." I was not to keen to dwell on the matter, " Say, have you seen my banner lying about anywhere?"

"Nope, but I'd find it soon if I were you, the convoy is marching again, you might get left behind."

"Oh."

"Here," he said, handing me his lantern, "you might have left it on the ground somewhere."

"Thanks." I said and he left me.

I continued to scramble about and cursing myself for misplacing a seven- foot pole with a flag on the end. The march was going again and I pondered if I should forget the pole altogether and just catch up with the procession instead.

I tried to run but I tripped over something on the grass -- my banner. Muttering a string of curses, I picked it up and tried to resume my place is the procession.

A voice made me halt in my tracks.

"Haldir." was all she said, but I panicked. It was Nariel.

I turned to face her, fearing her since the last time I talked to her she had given me a black eye. The look on her face told me she had something to say. Something big. I remembered what Glindir had said earlier and I hoped he was wrong. Please be wrong.

"Haldir," she repeated, as if struggling in her words. She didn't look like she normally did, haughty and unforgiving. She looked . . . well, like Nariel. The convoy had already started on its course, but I had to hear what she had to say before I could catch up.

"What do you want to say to me?"

She sighed, as if in some sort of pain, and for a moment I felt some sort of pity for her.

"I'm sorry about what happened between you and Marien." She managed to get out.

"That's alright. I'm not hurt." I tried to assure.

"Oh. But she's going to be hurt as well. I told her about Legolas . . . " the name caught my attention.

"Told her what?"

She paused, before starting: "A long time ago, long before you arrived, Elrond found someone had graphitised over Rivendell 'Legolas Luvs Haldir' in large letters. It was quite unnerving, and everyone ignored it, but then Elrohir convinced everyone that Legolas was . . . gay. The Mirkwood Prince is famed for . . . not really being a woman's ideal man."

I tried not to look guilty. It was because of my feud with Legolas that got the sons of Elrond involved. [See Haldir's Diary 1; chap. 6]

She sighed before saying: "That's why I fear, that's why I know that the Mirkwood Prince will turn her down. It would break her heart. She has a fragile mind, you know."

"Everyone has to face refusal some time or other." I put on a brave face that did not deceive her.

"I hated you when you arrived in Rivendell, you know."

"Yeah, I knew."

"But after Marien hurt you like that, I . . . don't . . . hate you. I mean, compared to Mirkwood Prince, you are more than tolerable. I hate him so much. But You . . . "

I waited for it. The words were inevitable.

"I think I love you." She said.

I wasn't ready for the low those words caused. My tongue froze and I didn't know what to say.

Her eyes begged for an answer, any answer. I started to go weak at the limbs.

"How?" was all I could say.

"What?"

"Why do you love me?" I asked, "I mean, I'm not exactly Mirkwood Prince, like you say, am I? I'm . . . I'm a lying scoundrel!"

"EXACTLY!" she cried, flailing her arms. "I don't understand it either. A respectable young lady from a noble family like me, fall for a drifter like you, who in turn, was turned down by my SISTER?!"

She said it all very quickly, as if she'd needed to get it all out for some time. I was lost for words.

"I'm not a drifter." I said stubbornly.

She looked at me, exasperated.

"You weren't like this with Marien." She whined.

"Marien didn't openly proclaim her love for me then put me down again." I didn't know why I was being so harsh. I was trying not to be horrible, but it was hard to be kind.

"Look, do you love me back or not?!" she said, eyes flashing dangerously.

For a moment I remembered the diamond ring in my pocket. The perfect dowry.

"Will you hit me if I say 'no'"

She thought for a while.

"No."

I sighed a breath of relief.

"Well, then. Nariel. I'm sure you're a very nice person, Arwen and Glindir and everyone else really like you, but in truth, I don't like you very much. I liked your sister for she was kind to me-"

"Because you had blond hair." She interrupted.

"Yeah, but she never gave me a black eye, or dirty looks. You've hated me since I came to Rivendell in a wheelchair, and now you say you think you're in love with me. Forgive me for saying, but it's not really very easy to accept."

I said all this quickly before cowering instinctively, shielding my face from any blows I might receive.

None came.

I looked at her face, and perceived that she was a little hurt. Her silent eyes were fixated on the ground and her arms were folded.

I didn't know what to do. Should I comfort her? Perhaps give her a condoling kiss? And where? Not on the lips, of course, the forehead, perhaps?

"So this is what it feels like." She said quietly after a while, smiling at the ground. She sounded utterly broken, yet still present in her voice was her dignity and composure, which is more than I could say for myself with Marien. She didn't even sound upset.

I didn't know what came next. Should I comfort her now, or walk away to leave her to her grief. I thought before asking:

"Friends?" I asked.

She nodded mutely before looking at me, giving an accepting smile.

"Friends." She repeated. "But I still love you, inside." She added in a whisper.

"I don't mind"

I walked over to her and placed a kiss on her forehead. She did not flinch, but closed her eyes in a composed manner and smiling, in an almost amused way.

"This does mean you can't hit me anymore." I said playfully, "If we're friends."

"What about kicking?" she replied, laughing. The sound made me smile. She could still laugh after rejection.

"The day you kick me will be the day we get married!" I replied.

"Then I shall wait for that day to come . . . and wear hard boots."

Together we ran back to catch up with the convoy, laughing, she holding up the lantern and me with my banner.

See? No heartbreak whatsoever.

*

I got back to Glindir, amazed at my luck. An unquestioned rival had just become a friend; Perhaps, someday, more than a friend. I laughed at the prospect.

I had to admire Nariel for her vigilance, being able to say those things to me (somewhat awkwardly), yet so bravely. It had taken me AGES to summon the courage o talk to Marien.

She was not too hurt. She could accept my denial.

Or was it a denial? Even I wasn't sure.

Did I reject her at all? Do I love her back?

Maybe she still loved me,

Maybe we were 'just friends',

A line no one could believe.