Chapter 6
Once upon a Time
Thanx for the reviews! Next chap! Yay! Unlike my usual story habits, it didn't take months to get this chapter out...^_^ please r&r!
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There comes a time in everyone's life when the earth stops revolving around the sun. Then the world becomes a dull and lackluster, and one just can figure out why. It becomes cold, and goosebumps and shivers continually frolic up and down your skin instead of warmth. Then, you sit up into the night, staring at nothing and wondering why you feel so empty inside. You comfort yourself by thinking of your loved ones and your friends, convincing yourself that you should be happy because they want you to be happy. And you know that it's stupid to cry over something that you cannot change, and yet you do. You draw up the old saying "Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere." But it's useless because you can't tell your mind what it already knows. The heart's the problem, because it cannot always follow what the mind knows, but what the heart feels to be true.
Sakura felt so guilty, not meriting of the support Syaoran placed on her that she waded through the next few days. She began watching him constantly, afraid that he would die on her like in her nightmare. Her eyes became haggard and tired, dark circles around her eyes marking the many nights she stayed awake worrying over his life. What if he died because of her? What if the fates or kami-sama punished him for aiding someone like her? Sakura began to find herself the fault of everything, every misfortune that occurred.
She was disappointed in herself. She knew that she was getting better! Just a few weeks ago, she had stood at the window, accepting the challenge written his Syoaran's eyes. She knew she could do it to! She had to, because it was time to move on, and deal! But she couldn't and she felt awfully weak for it.
It was like she was a mountain climber, hiking up the path, through the rocky tundra until she was almost at the top, only to slide down again because the ground caved under.
Everyone was getting worried. Sakura saw it in their eyes, the way her closest friends would stay after class and sometimes huddle, like they were talking about her but they didn't want her to overhear.
So months passed, until it was past October, nearing November…Sakura got worse and worse, and her friends grew more concerned as the days traversed…
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"The fall carnival is in town, Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo exclaimed. It was another day, and they were sitting beneath the cherry blossom trees, eating lunch.
"That's nice." She tried to smile, but her eyes really hurt, and her heart wasn't in it.
"Oh Sakura-chan," Tomoyo sighed. "You really must do something about your hair. It's so pretty, and if you would only comb it at least sometimes... perhaps a colorful bow to bring out the hue in your eyes, to accentuate the emerald. Here, why don't I brush it for you?"
Sakura's hair had gotten a little longer and more unruly, so that the strands were stormy and untamed. Tomoyo took a brush that she had stowed away in her backpack for this exact purpose and began drawing the bristles through the tangles. Sakura relaxed a little bit.
"That's such an exquisite necklace, Sakura-chan. Did someone give it to you, or did you purchase it?"
A light, silvery chain adorned her neck. Sakura touched it, the silver links cool to the tips of her fingers.
"It was my mother's before she died."
"How come I've never seen you wear it before?"
Beneath the waning sun, Sakura closed her eyes. "Because I can't see her anymore. I've always remembered who my mother was, and everything she stood for. Everytime I saw or heard my father and my brother, I was reminded how to grow up, happy and full of life like her. But now...memories of those past days are vague, and without them to show me the way...I don't remember her as much as I used to, so I wear this to keep her close to my heart."
"Oh I see. How was your mother like your onii-chan and otou-san?"
"I saw okaa-san in otou-san, how she was so tall like him, and kind on the inside, even though onii-chan was cruel at times and hid behind a fake facade. They were both compassionate and benevolent, and otou-san used to smile just like her. We were all so happy, once..."
Soon she was asleep, falling to the gentle rhythm of the brush straggling through her hair .
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Life moves on.
The entire class was excited about the carnival. Yamazaki was going on about his superior skills at juggling and the illustrious past of certain jugglers, until Chihura got so annoyed that she demanded to see for herself, and Yamazaki immediately shut his mouth.
"I want to see, Yamazaki!" she commanded with authority.
"Did I tell you about the Circus Bees?" he said quickly. "Everyone thinks that they're yellow, when in actuality, their yellow and black front is only a pretext for a deeper story. Bees-
"Yamazaki!" Chihura growled. "Quit fibbing! I want to see you juggle!"
It went on like that for a while. Sakura watched from her corner, a faint smile on her lips. Then the sliding of a door caught her attention. It was Syaoran that stepped through the threshold, dressed in a crisp blue shirt and khakis. Unlike middle school and primary school, they didn't have to wear school uniforms in secondary school. She stood up to greet him, but another girl pirouetted over to him before she got there. Sakura frowned, a slight sinking sensation in her stomach.
She sat down at her desk again, picking up a copy of Catcher in the Rye, trying desperately to read but darting her eyes more often then not to the figures at the front.
Her name was Reiko. The type of girl that every guy wanted, with shimmering blond hair, cerulean eyes, and "endowed" with a lot more "assets" than Sakura had. Loud, bodacious, and flirtatious, Reiko had guys on her like mosquitos, just waiting to suck on her blood. Only, it was their blood she ended up sucking before discarding them like old rags.
Reiko was talking to him, flashing her model-smile. Twirling her pencil around her finger, she dropped it and gasped in surprise. She bent down, giving him a generous view of her butt, her skirt being that short. When she lifted her head, Syaoran's eyes were elsewhere, searching the room until they landed on a skinny girl in the corner. It was Reiko's turn to frown as she followed his gaze. Hadn't he been paying attention? Did she have to do it again? He didn't even see!
He was ignoring her now. He was looking at Sakura, the one whose family had died during the summer. Everyone loved Sakura, and tried to help her through, but Reiko thought it was pathetic. Who the hell cared? So what if her family was dead? She wanted to flap her arms around and scream "Stop looking at her! Look at me, the gorgeous one!" Her frown deepened, then lifted into a smirk. It was sympathy! He felt sympathy, that's why he was looking at her like that! That was the only explanation. No guy could resist her or choose someone else over her.
All of them came over to her, eventually. They all wanted to get into her bed. It was only a matter of time.
She opened her mouth to say something in a breathy tone, but Syaoran was across the room by now. Sakura was laying her head on her desk, messy hair strewn over her books. Syaoran grabbed her shoulders, pulling her to face him. He said something and Sakura swiped at her eyes, like she was wiping away tears.
That was impossible. Why would that bitch be crying? Reiko wanted to slap her. Because of that stupid girl, Syaoran wasn't with her.
He reached into his backpack, taking forth a package. It wasn't wrapped in fine paper, but in simple tissue paper. He edged it towards her, and Sakura stared at it awhile before shaking her head.
"You don't have to give me a gift," she protested.
"I want to. Go on. Open it."
She eyed the present reproachfully. "You're wasting your money."
"I disagree," he said firmly. "Do you see Yamazaki and Chihura over there? I'll stay here as long as they argue, until you get it into your obstinate head that I want you to have it."
"But Chihura and Yamazaki always argue! We'll be here infinitely."
"Then we'll be here infinitely."
"Don't be crazy! No one's that patient."
"Well I'm a patient guy. I'll wait for you."
There was a double meaning in that statement somewhere, but Sakura was too tired to figure it out. "But-but-" Finally, she took the package. She opened it, the paper crinkling as it unraveled like a flower.
"How did you know?" It was a soft plushie bear, one that she had wanted a long time.
"Is there any way that I could not know?" Syaoran said dryly. "You yanked my ear off yapping about it last year. In fact, I believe for exactly two months that's all you could think about, getting Landon. It took me awhile to find him; you have no idea what a big deal people make out of stuffed animals. He was practically on the black market!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe it. "What is it about people and their bears?"
Oh, Sakura had a pretty good idea of how long it had taken him. She had consumed many months seeking Landon, all without progress.
In the medium-sized box was the only stuffed animal of the Silent Angel series that Sakura did not have. One of the oldest members of the family, Landon the bear clutched a heart to his chest, wearing a somber expression. Landon was so old in bear years that he was almost obsolete. The purple bear was fuzzy and velvety, and smooth to touch. But she couldn't take it. When she was younger, she had searched fruitlessly for the last collection piece, but she was continuously unsuccessful. She had called toy stores and placed back orders, spending countless hours on the endeavor, but without result. Sakura knew Landon must have been terribly expensive and difficult to find.
"I can't take this," she said immediately. "It's too much."
"Nonsense. Don't be stupid. It'll help you sleep at night."
"I don't need help sleeping!" It came out hysterical and high-pitched, even to her own ears.
"You do," Syaraon itereated seriously. "Why else do bags trail around your eyes?"She didn't say anything, and he pressed something closer to her. Another package, slim and wrapped in orange paper."You have one more. Open it."
Sakura did, feeling as if he would sit there forever if she didn't. It was two tickets to the fall carnival.
"You can take anyone you want. Won't it be fun?"
Her eyes were blurry. She pushed them at him, but he pushed back. His hands were over hers, warm and insistent.
"You can take anyone," he encouraged.
"I can't take these! It's not my birthday, and I don't have anything for you! Plus, I wasn't planning on going," she argued. "I have better things to do. Like...like" she faltered, bumbling around for words.
"Well?" His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "What is it that's so important?"
"I-I...sleep is essential," she mumbled.
Syaoran scowled. "Unless you have an excuse, you're coming."
"I won't!" she cried like a child. "And you can't make me!"
He narrowed his eyes, eyeing her disapprovingly. Syaoran took in her boisterous brown hair, which hadn't been combed in quite a few days, dead tired eyes that had lost their shine, and gaunt arms. Bordering on anorexia, she wasn't, but only because she refused to eat. At least anorexic people ate something...Sakura just drifted from one day to the next. If anything, she was beyond anorexia...He was surprised that she wasn't out cold from exhaustion. What was wrong with her?
"Shit."
"Nani?"
"That's it!" He grabbed her arm, hauling her out of the classroom until they stood outside.
"Ow! Let go!" Syaoran was tugging on her arm, and it hurt a lot. Sakura stared desolately at her arm. There would be a bruise soon.
Syaoran saw what he was doing and dropped her arm like a hot iron. He sighed, swearing beneath his breath. She was nothing but stick and bone.
"Syaoran-kun?"
"Don't "Syaoran-kun" me!"
"What are you doing?" she inquired anxiously. "Why were you hurting me?"
"You," he pointed a threatening finger," are going to that festival if I have to drag you there, tie you up with shingles, trap you in a bottle...I don't care! No more excuses, and no more acting sorry for whoever it is...yourself, your father and brother...no more. You cannot change what happened, so live through it like they would want you too. From now on, I am going to make sure that you take care of yourself if I have to stay up all night to make sure that you're sleeping! You're going to sleep, brush your hair, stop gawking, crying, and looking like you're half dead! So don't give me any more crap."
Shocked, she gaped at him. Tiny tremors ran through her body, evolving into full-fledged convulsions as tears murmured down her face. She could taste the salt filtering in her mouth, bitter and sweet. See! Her mind kept hissing He's mad at you now! You're nothing but a bother to him! That's the reason he was yelling so heatedly at you! He's sick and tired of a stupid girl that mopes around all day! He's disgusted of a girl that cares about nothing but her grief!
So don't accept his help! Be proud!
She closed her eyes. The dream. Sakura reminisced on it, recollecting Syaoran's face in death. She couldn't help but think that it was a premonition. It was awful, but it was better to be scared and safe then sorry and one-moment-too late. It had to be her. She was the reason Syaoran had died in her dream; why else had the dream been sent to her? The only explanation Sakura could come up with was that somehow, because of her, Syaoran's death was precocious and peremptory. In some twisted way, she was the one at fault, for causing his death.
Sakura could not allow this. Never, would she risk Syaoran's life. If there was even a shadow of a doubt that his interference in her affairs preceded his death, she would not permit it from happening. There was never any question. No chances to pry over, no theories to test. She would not be part of something that might kill Syaoran.
Normally, Sakura wasn't a superstitious person, and she didn't believe in dreams. But those times had changed. Her father and brother were dead by the side of the road. She didn't possess any luxuries to wait and see if the dream came true. Essentially, there were two options she could follow: she could abide her time, watch to see if the dream was valid whilst the overbearing cloud of nightmares and missed-chances hovered over her, or she could act on the hunch now. There was a part of her that wanted to go the fair, wanted to spend time with Syaoran and heal. But she couldn't, not while his life might be on the line. The dream was still fresh; the malodorous scent of blood still lingered in her nose, reminding her of what would happen if he got too close. Sakura was tired of sulking in the corner, but she couldn't stop. She needed help, and now that help was being snatched from her very eyes by a dream she had months ago. She had to be strong on her own. Mental shovels would have to be taken out to dig out the strength she had on the inside.
"Sakura? What's wrong?"
He was still staring at her, curious of the emotions that whirled over her face. By reading Sakura's face, Syaoran had always known what she was thinking about, like watching a movie or glancing over a novel. Along the lines of seeing through her, only it had become so easy over the years without too much effort. Whether it was an extra curve on her brow, or a small frown, or a slight smile on her lips, Syaoran was able to discern at least a general idea of what she was thinking about, or how she felt. But this time, it was like reading an abstruse book upside down. First fear whooshed through her features, then a spark of realization, and finally determination. And when he thought her swings were over, she surprised him again by looking sad, an ephemeral sadness that was followed closely by tears.
"Sakura-" he took her hand, mindful of the bruise sweltering on her wrist. Kami-sama, if she bruised that easily...he winced, knowing it was him that had placed the bruise on her arm. To a normal, healthy person who didn't starve herself, Syaoran's earlier grip would have been uncomfortable, but far from painful. But Sakura wasn't normal or healthy. She was an extraordinary person who was extremely sick. It was no excuse. He should have been able to detect her weakness, gauge the fact that a touch that would barely hurt a fly would have such an extreme effect on her, to make black and blue stand out on her pale skin so acutely.
"Sakura, I'm so sorry, I-
"It's okay." Her voice sounded strangely metallic.
"Here." Syaoran dug in his pocket for a handkerchief, handing it to her. Sakura eyed it warily before wiping it harshly against her nose. Red spots stuck out where the soft fabric didn't agree with her skin.
Something was wrong. He could tell by the way she scratched her nose with the handkerchief, by the way she was fidgeting and roving her eyes about. She was agitated by something, and afraid or nervous to tell him. Why wasn't she telling him anything these days? It seemed like she no long trusted him as her friend, no longer wanted his help.
"Sakura, what's wrong?"
"I'd rather die than go to the festival with you!" she blurted out. Syaoran stared blankly at her, but Sakura refused to take it back. It was true. She would sacrifice her life for his any day of the week.
I've already lost my otou-san and my onii-chan...I'm not going to lose you too.
Sakura expected him to accept it. If it was her heart's desire, she expected him to nod reluctantly and respect her wishes. He was her friend, after all. Surely he understood that this was what she wanted, what was best, right?
Instead, he narrowed his eyes so that they were slits. "What did you say?" His tone was dangerous.
"I said that I would rather die than-
"See, there's the problem," he growled. "Because you're not going to die!"
He was enraged again. Like any of his emotion, it was hard to decipher since he kept his feelings behind an impervious wall. But when he was really irritated or frustrated, you could tell because it just radiated from him. His face was taut and drawn. Syaoran seized her arm, and Sakura endeavored to break from his grasp, but he was affixed.
"Damn it!. You once told me that to live is to look at the upside of everything," he whispered. "But you say one thing, and do another. If I didn't know you so well, I'd say that you were a hypocrite."
"To live is pain."
"To live is friendship, and love. I never believed you, until now."
He was lying. Sakura could tell. "You've always believed that," she whispered, "you just never knew it."
"Until you taught me."
"No. You always knew where it was in your soul, it was just a matter of finding something that would inspire you to evoke it."
"Now it's my turn, to inspire you."
She didn't have time to puzzle over his evasive words.
It happened faster than Sakura could blink. One minute Syaoran was encasing her arm, the next he had her most prized possession in his hands. Somehow, he managed to march up to her, unclasp the necklace around her neck, and unhook the chain that had entangled itself in her hair. Then he stood in front of her, wearing a grim frown tucked in between his eyebrows.
"This is significant to you, isn't it?"
"N-n-o!" But she couldn't help it. Tears slid down her face. It was her necklace, the one her own mother had left her...the only item she had to remind her. Even now, she was forgetting...
"You're lying."
"And if I am?"
"Then I swear that I'll keep if safe for you. But you won't get it back."
"You idiot!" Sakura shrieked, lunging for the chain. Syaoran danced it out of her reach, springing it above his head. Sakura jumped up, grazing on her toes to reach the slight of silver, but it was beyond her reach. In frustration and burgeoning panic, Sakura kept hoping up like a bunny, trying again and again to grasp the silver that eluded her.
"Are you done?" Syaoran said calmly. "There are terms and conditions that we can discuss."
"It's mine!You don't understand!" Sakura grabbed for his shirt, trying to get him to dislodge his hold on her necklace. She clung to him, breathing hard, her mind hazy and unfocused. Lack of sleep and food was hitting her especially hard now.
"It was your mother's."
She stiffened. There was only one person she had told that to. Tomoyo. How could her best friend betray her?!
"You two were in this together! You had it all planned out!" she accused. "She told you so that you could take if from me!"
Syaoran held up the necklace. It shimmered, the light careening off each link, haloes scampering across the silver from the florescent lights. Thin and barely discernable, it wavered in the air, twisting like a frond in the wind.
"I'm sorry, but it's for your own good."
"My own good?" she repeated sarcastically. "What would you know about what's good for me?"
He looked at her, long and hard. Then he strode to the window, propping the pane open, letting cold air wash through the building.
"I won't let you destroy yourself."
Thrusting his arm out, he let the necklace dangle...
"What do you want?" she screamed.
"I want you to accept my help," he replied simply. "I want you to trust me."
She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Syaoran had stolen her necklace, and now her wanted her to trust him like he hadn't taken the single most precious possession that she owned.
Syaoran let the necklace slip a little bit, until it was almost sailing freely in the air. A bolt of peppery tears ambled down her face, and she swatted fiercely at them.
"So you're bribing me!?" she shrieked. "I assume you want me to go to that stupid festival." She laughed. "Is this some desperate ploy to get me to spend time with you? It's pathetic."
Syoaran winced, drawing back like he'd been slapped. Dark brows knitted in irritation and an emotion she didn't comprehend."Three days," he said cooly. "Spend three normal days with anyone you want, then I'll give you your necklace back."
"Three days? That's nothing."
"Then why won't you go to the festival with me? It's only one day, or half if you want."
Slow down...was it the tears getting in her ears, or did Syaoran sound a hurt? Sakura squinted, but his face was unreadable.
There was an instant when he was unguarded. His eyes were on her, trying to read the emotions that flicked over her face. Sakura took advantage of the moment and propelled forward, scrambling to the window, diving into the air. She darted a hand out to catch the soaring necklace, but Syaoran saw her and released it from his grasp. The chain plummeted to the ground, streaking to a cluster of bushes.
And then it was gone....
All she could see was the necklace, racing through the sky...and she drove after it like a moth to the flame. She cried out, plunging out the window. Her torso surfaced the ledge when rough hands pulled her back. The window shot down in one fluid movement, and Sakura was thrown to the ground.
Sakura felt like her head was on fire, and her heart was whipped from her breast. That was her necklace. Didn't he understand? That was the only memory she had of her mother, and it had rapidly chiseled its way to symbolizing her entire family. Onii-chan, otou-san, okaa-san... she wore the necklace over her heart, and it was comforting to feel the sturdy metal beneath her skin when she touched it, and the cool pendant over her neck.
Nadeshiko had given the necklace to her when she was young. Sakura still remembered the cheery smile she sported on her fair face, and the light tickle on the palm of her hand where the necklace fell from her mother's hand to her own. Afraid of breaking the fragile chain, she had stowed the necklace away in a box in the attic between pillows and old clothes. There it remained until she retrieved it a few days ago, tucked between old belongings. It was still as elegant as the day she first saw it. Light still scampered across the silver in the same way, dazzling her senses. Yet, Sakura didn't care if it was physically lovely or not. To her, it would be beautiful whether it was rotted and shabby, and putrid and cut her when she put it on. From her perspective, it would always be exotic and serene, and just as wild as she had seen it the first day.
How could he do this to her? How could he bribe her with her most cherished possession, to cause such longing and heart-break?
Without registering what she was doing, Sakura beat her fists against Syaoran's chest, still seeing the necklace fly out the window. She sidestepped him, trying to climb out the window to find it. He stopped her, but let her continue taking out her anger and fear on him. At some point, she quit the pounding and sagged against him, tears mingling with the fabric of his shirt. To his credit, he held her while she sobbed, shoulders trembling, tears heaving from her eyes.
Finally, she looked up, into his face. What she saw surprised her.
Syaoran was deathly pale. He was staring intently at her, but from his haggard face and unfocused eyes, she could tell that he didn't really see her.
"God, Sakura, when you-God-I thought...." Where he gripped her arms, his hands were shaking. He touched her face, as if making sure that she was really there and not a ghost. "Sakura-I was so scared...never do that again...promise me!"
"Syaoran, what's-
"Promise me that you won't do that again! Promise that you won't jump, or....I almost lost you!"
"I-I-I promise, but are you-why-"
"Do you really mistrust me that much?" he tried to smile, but it came out wavy.
"What?"
Syaoran drove a hand in his pocket. Something glittered, so much that Sakura had to cover her eyes to keep the miniature sun spots from blinding her.
It was her necklace.
"Syaoran, I-I don't understand."
"It was a piece of string, colored silver."
He hugged her. In their embrace, with his strong arms around her, Sakura allowed tears to curve down. The sting of betrayal diminished, and Sakura found that she could breathe again. Poor Sakura never had a chance though. After awhile, she realized she was laying her head on his chest, and that his clothes smelled like earth and wood, all rolled up into one. His chest was hard and firm, and when it registered how close they were, and in what position, her heart raced along at an abnormal pace. His arms were around her waist, his chin resting on her left shoulder. Sakura leaned her cheek against his shirt. The tears had dried by now.
In her entire life, there were three incidences that she wished time would stand still for. Just like in the old fairy tales, where the princess would descend from her horse after an arduous trial and be reunited with her lover. Almost like the videocassette in the VCR had malfunctioned, the scene would slow down, and show the princess running with long strides, and the prince running to meet her. Then the corny music in the background would start up, and despite herself, tears would film down her face.
This was one of times Sakura wished time would remain forever for, with Syoaran's arms around her. Another was the day on the beach, when they had stood up beneath the stars, delighting in each other's company. And the last was a memory that had faded with time, eroding away until only the faint remnants remained. When she was only a child, her family had been intact. Her mother was alive and well, as was her father and brother. Everyone was sitting around the table, laughing at something Sakura had just said.
She would never forget those three events in her life, no matter how old she grew.
"Here."
Sakura looked down, his voice jarring her from her thoughts. Syaoran had pulled slightly away from her, and he took both of her hands, wrapping his hands around hers. He dropped something slinky inside, cool and familiar. Sakura gasped.
It was her necklace.
She blinked at him. She tried to open her hands from his grasp, but he held her hands shut, the necklace inside.
"Just tell me one thing. Is there something else that's bothering you, besides their death? There has to be. I see it in your eyes."
She hesitated. "Yes."
"What?"
"I'm scared."
"Of what?" he asked softly.
"I'm scared that you'll be gone. I'm scared that everyone will disappear one day, and leave me here alone, without anyone to be with or talk to. I'm scared that one moment everything will be normal, and the next I'll wake up to nothing but the empty sound of infinity drumming in my ears with the thumping of my heart as the only beat."
"So you push everyone away. You hope that by doing this, you won't feel pain and loss again. You think it's impossible to feel anguish without joy, so you have nothing to do with happiness."
"How did you know?"
"It's obvious."
"Tragedies aren't tragic without comedy," she pointed out. "Remember Romeo and Juliet? There were light, bouncy parts in the play, and it helped to highlight the later tragedies that occurred. If it weren't for the comic relief, the play wouldn't be that sad."
"So?"
"So...can't you make a connection to real life?"
"Can you?"
"I-I think so."
"I don't."
His hands were still over hers, keeping her from opening her hands to see the necklace inside.
"Did you know," he began thoughtfully, "that I felt the same way after one of my cousins died? He was my best friend, intelligent and adept at everything. His name was Syshuma, and he was supposed to inherit the seat as the head of the Clan, but when he died, it was turned over to me."
"Oh, Syaoran-kun...
"I had to assume his duties after that. From day one after his death, instead of preparing for his funeral and mourning, the Elders led me into the conference room and told me straight-off that I would become new leader by inheritance. The Elders said that I didn't have a chance, and they proclaimed that I should get used to it because there would be no other options other than death. I opted to stay alive."
"But in a way, I believed that it was good for me because it prevented me from getting too close to anyone."
"What a lonely way to grow up."
"It's no different from the way that you're choosing to live."
That's when Syaoran noticed the hot drops falling from her eyes. He stared in disbelief.
"Hey! What are you doing!?"
Despite herself, Sakura smiled. "I'm crying, silly."
"Why?"
"Because I want to."
"Why?"
"I just told you why."
Syaoran gaped. "You're not-
"Not what?"
"Crying for me, are you?"
"And if I am?"
"Then stop it. I don't deserve your tears. It happened a long time ago."
"Aren't I allowed the right to cry for anyone that I choose?" she challenged.
"Then cry for yourself."
"Why?"
"Because tears possess the power to heal."
"Oh," Sakura tiltled her head, trying to imagine Syaoran crying. Somehow, she couldn't picture it. Syaoran struck her as the type of person that never cried. "Do you ever cry, Syaoran-kun?"
"No."
"I think you should."
"Why?"
"Because then you wouldn't look so serious all the time. Plus, if you store it up, someday it'll explode from the inside and spread throughout the rest of your body. Just like the waterfall effect, when it breaks open, the flow will be more painful and powerful. When I was younger, my otou-san used to tell that story to me to comfort me whenever my onii-chan teased me about crying. Otou-san said that if onii-chan never cried, he would be the waterfall behind the dam, contributing more tears until the encasement overflowed from too much sorrow or not enough strength."
"Do you think I have too much sorrow?"
"I do."
"Is there such as thing as crying too much, drowning in your own sorrows?" Syaoran whispered.
"There is," she answered quietly.
"How do you know?"
"Because I drown in my tears sometimes. Not literally...but when you cry a lot, it seems that the little things hurt you more, touch you more, since you're more vulnerable. For example, I had a dream a while ago that-
"You shouldn't believe in dreams."
"But sometimes they're important, even prophetic."
"Or, they make you paranoid and sensitive to the monsters in the closet that just aren't there. The internal darkness in your mind that is always present no matter where you are."
"No," Sakura insisted. "This was important. I have to tell you because it involved you and-
"I see," Syaoran lifted an eyebrow suggestively, grinning. "You were dreaming about me."
"Well, yes, I- " She paused, and when his full meaning hit her, Sakura turned beet red. "N-n-o-o-o-ooo...not like that!"
"Right."
"Syaoran-kun!"
"What? All I said was "right."
"But it was your tone! It was rather....
"Mmmm?"
"Deep."
"Deep?"
"No! Sarcastic."
"Oh."
Sakura shook her head. "You're so silly sometimes, Syoaran-kun! I-
Then she couldn't breath because Syaoran wrapped her up into another embrace. His arms encased her protectively, and a peculiar butterfly sensation wallowed in her stomach. He was breathing near her ear, and light air kissed the tips of her face.
"I'm so glad you're alive, Sakura."
Sakura wanted to melt in his grasp. She wanted the moment to freeze, to feel his chest beneath her face, the slight up-and-down sensation as he breathed each breath. But she cared too much about him, and the dream that foretold his death still loomed above her. She had to tell him because his life might be in danger!
"Syaoran, about my dream, I-
"Syaoran-kun!" a light, soft voice exclaimed. "Whatever are you doing outside? Sensei is about to start class soon, and we wouldn't want to miss you!"
It was Reiko, standing elegantly in the doorway. It was like an invisible breeze wafted through the building, because her long blond-red hair was blowing about. She looked like a goddess, and she knew it. Next to her, Sakura was an immature stick figure, too skinny to be curvaceous like Reiko was. She paled in comparison, and she felt insignificant and tiny next to Reiko.
So Sakura clung to Syaoran, knowing that it was only a few more treasured moments before Syaoran went to Reiko. She closed her eyes, memorizing the way Syaoran felt against her, the way his arms fit around her comfortably, like all the puzzle pieces falling together effortlessly. She stored in her mind the way he was looking at her now, with his eyes concerned and worried for her. She would forever remember the way he made her heart ache, made her feel like she wasn't alone in the world. At least now, she wouldn't have to worry about her dream coming true. Syaoran would spend all his time with Reiko now, and not with her, which would prevent the dream from playing out.
Sakura had lost all traces of self-esteem, so that in her mind, there was not one percent that Syoaran would choose her over a girl like Reiko.
"Come Syaoran-kun! Sensei is waiting!" I'm waiting too...
She called him like a dog! Indignation and fury coursed through Sakura's veins.
Syaoran barely flicked a glance at her.
"Do you need something?" he asked pointedly.
"Sensei is about to teach." Reiko smiled, all sugary sweet.
"And?"
"Shouldn't you come inside? Sakura-chan can stay outside and think by herself."
Sakura moved out of their embrace, but Syaoran held her tighter.
"Sakura wants me to stay with her."
"Well, sure, doesn't every girl? But you don't want to stay in this stuffy old hallway, do you?"
"Actually, now that you've asked, I prefer it."
Reiko huffed. Since Syaoran wasn't listening to her, she turned instead to Sakura.
"Sakura-chan, won't you come inside?" she tutted. "I can comb your hair so that it's shiny like mine. Won't it be fun!"
Sakura stepped forward. Reiko had one of those smooth, hypnotizing voices. If you weren't careful, she would make you do things that you didn't want to do. It wasn't about any magic like in the fairy tales, but just a quality in her voice that fed off of the weak. And Sakura was weak. She hadn't felt like herself in many months, and she was easy prey for people like Reiko who thrived where the starved fell. Reiko's voice was like a lullaby, and she made it so easy to obey her.
"Sakura, where are you going?"Syaoran demanded when he felt her pull away from him.
"Inside."
"Why?"
Syaoran sighed when she didn't answer. He moved closer to her, until his lips hovered over her ear, almost touching. He whispered something, tickling her ear.
And the "spell" was broken. Sakura giggled, lightly slapping Syaoran. "You're so mean! She does not look like a shark!"
"Ah ha! A laugh! I made the beautiful Princess Sakura laugh!"
"And who are you? The daring Prince Syaoran?"
And just like when they were young, they began to form a game. It was a familiar game, one where they would think of a story and make each version more imaginative and exaggerated than the last.
Syaoran cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm the audacious, handsome, popular, brilliant-
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Try egotistical, grumpy-
-village peasant."
"Really? You're a village peasant?"
"Uh-huh."
Reiko looked from one to the other, wearing a confused expression.
"Wait, so how did we meet?" Sakura asked.
"Let's see...ahh yes. You fell out of a cart while at the supermarket."
"What was I doing in a cart?
"You were trying to escape castle life because it was too stifling. You're fath-your nurse prohibited you from sliding down banisters, and you had to wear dresses and follow the rules of etiquette."
"Yea, that sounds boring," Sakura agreed. "I probably would have run away, but using a more creative method."
"Nah. You aren't a very creative person. When you thought of the cart, you had to stretch your brain capacity. At first, you wanted to just walk out, but your servants advised against it. They said that guards were posted at the entrances 24/7, and that they'd most likely notice the princess escaping through the drawbridge."
"What!?"
"That's why you have me. I'm the intelligent one."
"I'm not sure that I appreciate the flow of this story," Sakura pouted.
"Don't worry...you're only a little dense because your advisers told you everything to do whilst you were a noble. But once you break out into the real world, you learn about life and gain experiences along the way."
"There has to be a long journey and three bad guys too."
"Right. I'm getting to-
"Ahem!"
They were so engrossed in forming their own world/story that they didn't notice until Reiko had hmmmphed three times. By then, she was extremely red in the face, and a few hairs stuck out from her head like she had tried to pull them out of frustration. Sakura suspected that either an earthquake had struck, or she had tried to hurl objects at them because a few pictures were crooked and lying akimbo on the floor.
After they heard her, Syaoran pointedly ignored her, so Sakura followed his lead.
"So after we meet the purple goblin-
"Why purple?" Syaoran wondered. "Last time I checked, goblins were green or white."
"Who's the one without creativity?" Sakura shot back. "Maybe we should modify the characters a bit. How about I'm the one with the ideas, and you're the realists that sees from point A to point B?"
"Fair enough."
"So then-
"Ahem! Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!"
Sakura looked at Reiko, who seemed to be having some sort of epilepsy. She was starting to get worried, because Reiko was saying "Ahem" one too many times and she could swear her eyes were getting larger as the seconds passed.
"Syaoran-kun, do you think she's okay?"
Syaoran didn't even look at Reiko. "She'll be fine."
"How do you know? You have to look to make sure. Guessing-
"So after the evil witch meets her end-
Sakura blinked. "Wait...who's the evil witch?"
Syaoran indicated the girl who was now shouting something incomprehensible.
"Ah. I see."
"She tried to hypnotize you, but I came just in the nick-of-time to save you."
"How?"
"I made you laugh."
"Oh really..."Sakura giggled. "That's quite familiar..."
Then she realized that the necklace was in her palm, and that it was now in her possession. Syaoran had returned it to her after all, and she hadn't even noticed! Yet, for some reason, it didn't feel right, so Sakura forced the chain into Syaoran's hand so that he had it once more.
Surprised, Syaoran looked at her. The necklace lay in his hand where Sakura had dropped it."Why? I thought it meant a lot to you."
"It does, but we had a deal, didn't we? I trust you not to lose or break it, and princesses don't break their promises."
"Well, neither do village peasants."
"Hmmm...three normal days...you're not very creative, Syoaran-kun. I could have come up with something more dramatic."
"Mmm..."
"Well," Sakura stuck her hand out playfully. "Aren't you going to kiss my hand?"
"Why?"
"'Cause I'm the princess."
"Oh, so is there a mandate that the village peasant must kiss the hand of the princess?"
"No, but there's a mandate that the audacious, handsome, popular, and brilliant village peasant must kiss the hand of the princess."
"Ah. I knew that would come back to haunt me," Syaoran groaned. He eyed her, a mischievous sparkle in his amber eyes. "What if the village peasant was brave?"
"What do you mean?"
"What if the village peasant was secretly in love with the princess?"
"I though the village peasant was just a guide."
"If he was more than that, what would the princess say to a kiss on the lips?"
Sakura laughed. Syaoran was crazy! "Why are we changing the story? All stories have to have a structure, a base-
-that's flexible, changeable."
"True enough."
"Well, what would the princess say?"
It was something about the way Syaoran watched her. His eyes were sharper, yet softer on her. What was he watching her like that? She felt like a flower, reserved and aloof until the sun came out to part her petals and let the light blaze through. His eyes on her were the sun, kissing the entrapped blossom until it felt secure enough to open its eyes. If it was raining, Syaoran would be an umbrella for her, shielding her from the harsh drops. And if it was cold, and she was shaking and her lips blue from hypothermia, Syaoran would appear with warm blankets and medicine, holding out a bowl of soup for her. She saw all these images in his eyes, just revolving around.
And she wanted to cry out, because she could never let someone get that close to her, most of all Syaoran, at the risk of losing him. Because if that ever happened, there was no doubt that she would not be able to go on. You're crazy her mind was telling her this is just a game, a hypothetical game..he doesn't feel that way about you...Yet, why did she want him to feel that way about her? And yet she didn't, because she didn't want the events of her nightmare to come true.
So just in case, to stop the dream from occurring, Sakura said something that the princess would never do.
"The princess would scoff and say that she could never be involved with a peasant."
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THE END
A LA FIN
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HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oopps...I didn't mean to put that there O.o I was j/k! It's not the end ^_^ Sorry if I gave you a heart attack (but I doubt that anyone is reading this anyway...so sad :( )! ^.^
Golly be...I think that I've finally hit plot! ^-^ yay! Please review and tell me what you think!
Um..my dad is yelling at me to play tennis now. Didn't have time to edit...uh oh....
