15: Homeward Bound

Everyone had a moment of silence as Theoden Thengel's son, king of Rohan was finally laid to rest in Edoras, among his own kin. I couldn't bear thinking about death. I had fought alongside him at the Hornburg, and I felt a little apprehension at the thought. One of the halflings that came with us was crying openly at the lament that was sung. I felt sorry for him. The Doom of Men affected all.

I had never been to Meduseld before, and though it was nothing compared to Rivendell, it was still beautiful, in a unique way. The halls were high and golden, and it shone with splendour. As we feasted on traditional Rohirric delicacies (on silver plates), the King Eomer proclaimed the engagement between the Prince Faramir of Ithilien (the steward's son) to Eowyn of Rohan. As the lady stood up to drink a toast, I recognised her as the nurse! The matron at Helm's Deep! The one who 'admired' Aragorn?

Well, she didn't do too badly. A prince isn't bad. He's quite good looking too. She saw my astonished face in recognising her and gave me a discreet wink. I wondered if this had anything to do with what I said to her at the Hornburg. Probably didn't work. Aragorn and Arwen are still together, and will be for the rest for their lives. I though over my former, mischievous self and wondered why I'd changed.

Because of a near death experience, or because I'd realised the true complexity of Love, my heart shattered in the process?

I raised my glass to her, white lady of Rohan. She seemed happier than I remembered her, and felt joyful that nearly everyone had found happiness, and love.

She turned to Aragorn.

"Wish me joy, my liege lord and healer," she said, raising her glass to him.

"I have wished thee joy from the moment I saw thee. It brings me great joy to see thee in bliss." He replied very poetically, raising his goblet.

I was delighted to see Arwen gave her husband a very sour look. For once, Arwen wasn't beautiful.

*

The few days in Rohan were very cheerful. Glindir and I borrowed horses and went riding in the lush green fields near the palace. Its just as I remembered it: full of horse manure.

I spent as much time as possible from the guest quarters and the palace, in fear of meeting Legolas again. No doubt he blamed he for his humiliating defeat. In contrast, Marien seemed to have warmed to me considerably. At first she was shy when we talked during the feast, but slowly, she regained her benevolence and niceness towards me; and I remembered again the sweet maiden, when she gave me the apple in Rivendell. She stopped talking about Matters of the Heart in front of me, but I didn't know her father's reaction about the whole issue. I thought better than to ask.

Erestor was not one to forgive and forget. I wondered if he knew the truth, the WHOLE truth, which he would hate more: me, or Legolas. I shuddered at the thought.

I had:

-Invaded his youngest daughters privacy (when I sneaked on her in her tent)

-Played a cruel trick, seriously breaching their trust of me, played with their emotions, all to avenge a certain prince of Mirkwood, no, Greenwood. (It's called Eryn Lasgalen now).

-Involved his elder daughter in a common brawl, and allowed her to go beyond her womanly demureness. But I'm not too sure that counts. It was self-defence after all.

Which is why I've been avoiding Erestor as well. It was highly likely the whiny Prince had gone to him with the true account of the situation, in which case, I was dead meat.

~

One day, when returning from a long riding trip with Glindir, I returned to the stables to find Nariel waiting for me. She was not pleased with me, judging by her frown, and the way she folded her arms in a very businesslike manner. I was too tired to argue with her though. I was not a born rider, and though I could STAY on a horse, riding it WELL was another matter altogether. Well, when you grow up in a world chock-full of tall, thick trees, and you spend you life up a tree, horse-riding lessons were not really considered necessary.

"Why are you avoiding me?" she said abruptly. I decided that trying to hide anything from her was futile, and more often than not, resulted in pain. Glindir tittered behind my back. Ever since the fight, he teased me about how a woman fought my battle for me. Of course, he'd never say it on front of Nariel. He wasn't THAT stupid. She just stood there, waiting for my answer, a foot tapping on the floor.

"I'm not avoiding YOU." I said with a sigh, throwing my horse some hay. She gave a sulky pout. I sighed again and explained how I feared the wrath of many for what I did.

"Well then you should know, Legolas HAS been to my father," here she giggled, " but he wouldn't believe him. He insisted that he wasn't going to change his mind since he already had the location planned - Thranduil's palace! He told Mirkwood Prince that he'd have to marry her anyway. At least Marien is pleased. "

It took me a moment to process all that had been said. Even Glindir was silent.

"So what does your father think of me?"

Her smile vanished.

"Um . . . he doesn't really, well, pay attention to you in any way. He, um, he doesn't really trust the Lothlorien folk."

"Why?"

"Well, ever since mother went with her Lady Celebrian . . ."

"Your mother sailed away with Elrond's wife?"

"Yes. She was assaulted while coming back form Lothlorien you know."

"Oh." She looked so dismal that I didn't pursue the subject. "How is the Mirkwood prince?" I said, changing the subject. Her smile lit up again, giving her eyes a glitter of something rather malevolent.

"He fares well enough. You need not worry about him. He will be going to the Glittering Caves with the dwarf, Gimli. He, too, has people to avoid."

"Ah, like my father used to say: if life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into someone's eye!"

"I like your attitude!" said Glindir, "I only wish I was there to see it."

Nariel looked uncomfortable. She scratched her head and then said, "You do realise that we are leaving Edoras this afternoon. Elrond is having his last words, and then we're setting off." She eyed my dusty clothes and muddy shoes, "You really should be preparing your bags and things. We have to say our farewells. Come on!"

*

After we'd packed our bags, the three of us exited the golden hall onto a dazzling courtyard. Elves were embracing everywhere. There was a feeling in the air of great joy, yet great sadness. I could feel the tension of the Rivendellian Elves, as they prepared to say farewell to their beloved Evenstar, who would not be accompanying us northward. Aragorn insisted she needed rest and planned to escort us north himself.

She was across the courtyard, wiping her streaming eyes with her sleeve, after breaking away from a tight embrace with her brothers. They too had red eyes, but they tried to hide it with smiles and shy laughs. The three of them laughed in a pained way.

Elladan wiped his tears away, and flashed a smile in my direction. I was a little confused at first, but then I realised he wasn't smiling at me.

I saw beside me, Nariel, wave back at him. He leaned over and whispered something into his brother's ear, his eyes still following Nariel.

Erestor's words came back to me: 'I've been thinking about introducing her to one of the sons of Elrond.'

I suddenly had a strong desire to kick something, or someone.

Arwen's voice drew me away from my confused feelings. She gave a bashful laugh and surveyed me shyly before flinging herself in my arms. The people around me laughed. She let go.

"Haldir, um, we've had our grudges haven't we?"

I could only nod.

"Well. This really could be the last time I ever-", Her voice cracked and she broke off. It took her a moment to compose herself.

"I just want to say, I want this twisted relationship we have to became neutral, acceptable?" she said. I paused, anticipating her words.

She took a deep breath.

"I forgive you." She said, smiling slightly.

It never occurred to me to correct her. But something gnawed at me, at my conscience, something in the form of a diamond ring.

"My lady Undomiel?"

"Yes? Do not call me so. It sounds so formal."

"I have something that belongs to you. I, uh . . . found it one day. I think it should be returned to you." I held out the ring, feeling a great sense of deprivation in doing so.

She looked down on it, then back at my face. I kept my expression neutral.

"I . . . think you should keep it." She said after a while, her eyes were sincere.

"Really?!"

She nodded.

"I think you should have it. Just take it as a parting gift from the Evenstar and the Queen of Gondor. You may require it for . . . some things."

I gave her a warm embrace, and then prepared to leave her sight forever. It was took much effort to continually hate someone. Hey, I was happy for her. Lets leave it at that.

Elrond came walking over to our little grouping. He looked a little nervous and flustered. We all took a step back, leaving Arwen and her father alone. Elrond looked around the company and gave a short laugh, and led his daughter up to a hill that stood in Edoras.

We waited patiently, watching their silhouettes on the hill, only having the faintest idea of what was being said and thought up there. We could only imagine the pain that was up there. They were there a long time, and once I swore I heard shouting and crying. We shared only a fraction of their ache. One moment, they looked like they were fighting, and then they were in each other's arms, weeping. It made my eyes water to think about it. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was menstrual.

When they came down, both were calm, though their eyes were red and sore. No one dared to say anything, and Elrond avoided everybody's gaze, most of all Aragorn's. He mounted his horse, giving Arwen a silent farewell. Her brothers followed suit, giving her a quick kiss.

A stable boy brought out our horses, and Nariel delighted to see her little white palfrey again.

"Is this Lavender? The horse with the digestive problems?" asked Glindir.

"Her name's Niphredil. I changed it. It sounds much better."

"What happened to your old one?"

"I don't know." She said sadly. Galadriel was on a different horse than before (though still white), she was just a little way away, engaged in a conversation with Celeborn. They seemed to have made up after all. Eternity was too long to keep a grudge.

As we rode out the north gates onto the lush green plain, Arwen and a few maids followed us further, smiling and waving, though Arwen did neither. Her face was impassive and unreadable.

"She is depressed." Said a voice beside me.

"Lamalas!"

"Yes, Haldir, it is I. I'm surprised how you remember my name, I'd thought you'd all forgotten about me in Gondor and Rohan."

"I'm really sorry, but I've been too busy-"

"Avoiding people, I know. It's not exactly a secret, what happened. You really could make a career out of it. You have the strangest psychology I have ever seen. At the moment, I think you are feeling jealous."

I was staring at Nariel, who was talking with her sister, but one of the sons of Elrond rode up beside her and engaged her in chat. I felt my fist clench by itself.

". . . Sorry, doc, what were you saying?" I said absently.

He sighed, and went to talk to Glindir.

Legolas snickered at me, before turning to talk with the dwarf. I'd have though Humiliating Defeat would have broken just a teeny bit of his self- esteem, but the arrogance proved otherwise.

I heard the word's 'wait till he hears we're going to Helm's Deep'.

Helm's Deep?!

Oh no.

This cannot be happening.