17: Things get Complicated (what a surprise)

[Sorry this came out so late. I've had a lot on my schedule lately. I'll try and finish this series as soon as I can.]

"Tell me! What did I say?!" The figure called across the tall stone tower walls. He chased after a female elf eagerly, apparently concerned about something.

"I already told you: you said Nothing Out of the Ordinary." She turned to reply, but her smirk betrayed her.

"You're hiding something." Haldir said, stopping before her.

"If I denied that, I would be lying." She admitted, avoiding his gaze. She marvelled at how he'd changed. Just yesterday, he'd been so grieved, so mournful. This was his place of death. She was amazed at this change in him. He was able to be happy now, and not grieve the deaths of his brothers, and himself. He had died here, had he not? Yet now it meant nothing to him. He could smile and laugh like he normally would. She had to admit, Lamalas was something of a genius.

"Then tell me what I said!" he persisted.

"You have to understand that you were in a trance, and you could not lie." She said firmly, and then she took a breath.

"You said something about a Mr. Hunnybunny?" she said tentatively.

His eyes widened.

"Not Mr. Hunnybunny?!?"

She nodded in affirmation, watching nervously as Haldir's face went white, and then red, and then purple, reminding her strongly of yoghurt made of cream. After a while, he calmed down.

"What else?" he asked quietly.

"There wasn't anything else." She said, but her cheeks flamed red to her ears, betraying her once again.

He simply looked at her.

"Well . . . " she started hesitantly, "Youmayhavesaidsomethingaboutreallylikingme, likelovingmeandyouprefermetoArwen."

And in a flash, she had disappeared. Or more accurately, run away over the tower giggling madly.

Haldir was left to contemplate those word(s).

*

It occurred to Haldir as he stood on the battlements of Helm's Deep looking out over the Westfold ('since when was there a forest?'), that for the first time in a long while, he was actually happy. Happy, content, satisfied.

He was happy he had come to Helm's Deep.

He was happy he'd died.

There was reason to it; if he hadn't come to Helm's Deep and 'died', then they wouldn't have sent him to Rivendell to be ''healed''. Then he'd never witness the memorable voyage to Gondor.

He'd never meet people like Glindir . . . and Nariel.

Before them his life was just . . . boring. Patrolling the northern border of Lorien, occasionally killing dumb orcs.

Then he'd lost all his loved ones in one night, one place.

Sure, Rumil and Orophin were strategically annoying as brothers, but they made his life worthwhile. He'd never thought about it before now, but he really missed them. It was funny how it had never occurred to him, how much he loved his brothers. He never admitted it to anyone, or even mentioned it in a diary, but he really missed them. But he wouldn't call them back from the dead. They were over. He said a silent prayer for them, Rumil and Orophin, steady protectors of the Golden Wood.

Roused from his thoughts he turned back, and saw Marien walk towards him. She was her usual petulant self, and her pink dress was a little ruffled. Of course, there was only one thing on her mind that she would ever come to see HIM about.

"Have you seen Laegolas anywhere?" she said.

Haldir remained calm. Maybe it was time someone properly explained to her. Maybe it was his responsibility to tell her. She couldn't go on like this. In this world, it was not a good thing to get your hopes up. The higher your hopes went, the faster they came down, with double the landing pain.

"Marien, where do YOU think he is?" he said patiently.

She shrugged.

"I can't ever seem to find him." She said matter-of-factly, "He ignores me most of the time. Helm's Deep is so big; we hardly ever see each other. I really don't know where he is."

Haldir sighed, and thought carefully about how he was to say the intended things to her. He wasn't sure if he should tell her that Legolas had gone with Gimli to Aglarond, possibly to avoid her and her dominating father. Hmm.

"Um, Marien?"

"Yes?"

"You need to understand something."

"What?"

He paused.

"Firstly, not all relationships work out, no matter how well based they are." He said patiently, "Love is not always so fancy free. Not everyone falls in love and finds their prince Charming."

He didn't meet her questioning eyes, but quietly continued.

"Not everyone finds love."

To his surprise, when he looked back at her, she was smiling at him. He'd expected her to be upset.

"Oh, Haldir," she said cheerily, "How can you say things like that? Love is all around us. Has your mother never read you fairytales? Do you not pay attention to the world around you?"

"Fairytales are fairytales, not fact--" He tried to argue. His mother had never read him fairytales. He hardly remembered his mother. Celeborn had been something of a fatherly figure for him, but he didn't really have experience with his mother.

"But what about the people around us?" she continued hotly, "Have they not found love? The lady Arwen Evenstar, she has found her true love, and he is a mortal, a mortal for goodness sakes! And that mortal lady Eowyn, who didn't find love with the Elfstone, yet found solace with the steward's son. Even her brother is going to be married to Prince Imrahil's daughter, the one they call Lothiriel!"

She took a breath.

"And you say love is not around us?!" she said, "Well, what about you and Nariel?"

Haldir blushed furiously, looking very much like a carrot.

"That's a different matter altogether." He said firmly.

"So what makes you think that I will not find my love in Laegolas?" she said, with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Haldir was stumped.

"Why will you not understand that we are right for each other? Do you think I am foolish, stupid even, to think I can love him?"

"No! You mustn't think that!"

"You don't understand Haldir," she said, turning away from his gaze, "I knew it. I knew it from the first moment I saw him. When I saw him, his beautiful radiant face, I felt a new world, a different reality being opened up to me. I imagined life with him, to be with him, to love him. I wanted that reality so badly. I wanted to love him. I chose to love him, Haldir. I chose to give my heart to him."

"But he shall not return it."

She sighed.

"Unfortunately, that is true." She murmured.

"Legolas is not one for commitment, you know that. He may claim to love a lady, but marriage is out of the question. He enjoys being a bachelor, and is not about to give it up for some girl who gives her whole heart to him and arranges a marriage between them. When will parents realise that arranged marriages are so very wrong?"

She laughed gently, but it petered out.

"He does not love me." She said, and with that, she started trembling, shuddering violently, that Haldir wondered if she was all right. Then he realised she was crying.

He embraced her and held her close, detecting a faint smell of flowers on her, and she cried, sobbing hoarsely onto his shoulder. It felt nice that she had chosen to cry on him, Haldir thought, and then realised that maybe what she said was right. Love was all around us. And it was true; it wasn't going to wait for you.

It struck him that though he was so close to his former desire, he didn't seem to feel anything towards her at all, maybe some warmth and caring for her, but nothing beyond that. It struck him that he didn't care that this woman had rejected him, causing him so much pain all that time ago. It didn't matter. Had she not experienced the same thing, only inwardly? She had strived so long to make her dreams come true, all the time trying to ignore the fact that it took two to make a wholesome relationship.

She had finally accepted denial, and legolas was nowhere to be seen. He smiled at that fact.

Marien pulled away from him, wiping her eyes, looking very embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry. I just . . . I just wanted that dream to come true. I . . . I wanted it so badly."

He hushed her gently.

"Thank you for being so patient with me. I . lost control, for a moment. I felt so upset, you know? I'm probably over-reacting."

"Yes you are."

"Thank you again Haldir. You've given me good advice."

"By any chance, do you love me now?"

She laughed heartily, and Haldir noticed it was more carefree the old one that he remembered. He smiled at it.

"No, I couldn't do that. You are not within my reach anymore. I will search for another who loves me back, and we shall cross the sea together."

"Uh, yeah, rightly so."

"Speaking of which, you know how there's been a lot of bother with RINGS lately?" she said slyly, "Don't you think you should sort some of it out?"

His eyes widened.

"How did you know?"

"I heard what you said with Arwen. Nariel already knows. Don't you think you should put an end to all the waiting?"

"But we're immortal! We are not of the Edain! We have all the time in the world!"

"But not on Middle Earth." She said sadly.

He fell silent.

"Are you thinking of leaving then?" he asked.

She sighed.

"I'd hoped to leave together with my loved one. I guess that'll never happen. But you can make it with her. I'm giving you permission to pursue my sister, for Eru-sakes! Now go find her. NOW!"

It did not take long for Haldir to realise that Marien had also inherited the same temper as her sister.