The Matrix: Retarded
Chapt. 2 of "BulletTime Banana"
Neo studied the sealed coke can in front of him. He sat at a table in
the kitchen of the Nevakaneza, Morpheus's ship. He considered the can,
it's colour, it's texture, the sweet liquid that it contained, and the
fat fly that sat on the top of the can, awaiting it's opening almost
as eagerly as Neo. Suddenly Neo, in the words of Morpheus, 'Began to
believe'.
"It is time." he said seriously.
His hand reached for the coke, pausing only to squish the fly under
one bony finger. He grasped the can. Then a prophecy of the oracle was
fulfilled, and the 'Moment of Opening' took place. "Phizz!" It was
bliss. Neo couldn't wait for the ice-cold liquid to be pouring down
his throat. He lifted the can towards his mouth. He eyes lit up. Any
second now his lips, tongue and mouth would taste his favourite drink
in the world! Any second now.
Suddenly everything slowed down. Neo's hand and the coke were
now crawling towards his mouth at a snail's pace.
"Not again!" he cried, "Damn bullet-time!"
Everything speeded up suddenly. His hand and the can shot towards his
mouth and smacked in the face. He gave a muffled cry of frustration
and pain then toppled off his chair to the floor (in bullet time of
course) and landed painfully on his shoulder.
He got slowly to his feet, groaning. Apart from the spilt coke,
everything seemed fine. Then Neo saw his hand, the hand of the arm of
the shoulder he had landed on. The shockwaves down his arm seemed to
have twisted his hand into an almost unrecognisable claw. Every three
seconds it had a weird spasm. Neo swore loudly.
If Neo thought things were bad now, they were just about to get
a lot worse.
Agent Smith walked jauntily into the room.
"Mr. Anderson. Time to.what the!?!"
He was staring at Neo's twisted left hand, which was now thrashing
about in a demented fashion. His eyes travelled slowly from the hand
to Neo's face. He seemed lost for words. But then,
"Impostor!" he screamed. "You are you? Where's Neo? You've taken
his skin haven't you!"?
With that he ran at Neo and grabbed him roughly by the arms,
pinning them to his sides. He then proceeded to shake Neo erratically
as if Neo were an ugly life-sized rag doll.
"What.have.you.done.with.the.
real.Neo???" he growled.
Neo's brain had now been bashed about inside his skull to the
extent that he was almost unconscious and was now drooling
uncontrollably. Smith stopped the shaking abruptly.
"To complete my plan I must have the real Neo," he said
fiercely. "Now where is he?"
"To complete your."
Then it came to Neo.
"Your plan! It was you in Morpheus's bedroom! You've been
drugging his Chocolate spread!"
"But, but, but if you know." Smith began to mouth silently. Then
he said-
"Then you must be Neo! Only the One could know what was
happening in a completely different part of Zion! This changes
everything! We will meet again, Mr. Anderson!"
Neo tried to reply, "My name is Neo", but his head hurt too
much. Then Smith gave him hard punch in the stomach, which winded him,
then turned and stalked out the room. Neo tried to stagger after him
but he tripped on a rusty nail poking out of the floor and fell on his
face, braking his nose with a sickening *CRUNCH!*,
and knocking him out cold.
As Agent Smith fled the Nevakaneza, he muttered something about
a cheese roll and the end of the world. He meant business. But first
he had to grab a bite to eat because even agents need to sink their
teeth into a juicy hamburger (or human) occasionally.
Chapt. 2 of "BulletTime Banana"
Neo studied the sealed coke can in front of him. He sat at a table in
the kitchen of the Nevakaneza, Morpheus's ship. He considered the can,
it's colour, it's texture, the sweet liquid that it contained, and the
fat fly that sat on the top of the can, awaiting it's opening almost
as eagerly as Neo. Suddenly Neo, in the words of Morpheus, 'Began to
believe'.
"It is time." he said seriously.
His hand reached for the coke, pausing only to squish the fly under
one bony finger. He grasped the can. Then a prophecy of the oracle was
fulfilled, and the 'Moment of Opening' took place. "Phizz!" It was
bliss. Neo couldn't wait for the ice-cold liquid to be pouring down
his throat. He lifted the can towards his mouth. He eyes lit up. Any
second now his lips, tongue and mouth would taste his favourite drink
in the world! Any second now.
Suddenly everything slowed down. Neo's hand and the coke were
now crawling towards his mouth at a snail's pace.
"Not again!" he cried, "Damn bullet-time!"
Everything speeded up suddenly. His hand and the can shot towards his
mouth and smacked in the face. He gave a muffled cry of frustration
and pain then toppled off his chair to the floor (in bullet time of
course) and landed painfully on his shoulder.
He got slowly to his feet, groaning. Apart from the spilt coke,
everything seemed fine. Then Neo saw his hand, the hand of the arm of
the shoulder he had landed on. The shockwaves down his arm seemed to
have twisted his hand into an almost unrecognisable claw. Every three
seconds it had a weird spasm. Neo swore loudly.
If Neo thought things were bad now, they were just about to get
a lot worse.
Agent Smith walked jauntily into the room.
"Mr. Anderson. Time to.what the!?!"
He was staring at Neo's twisted left hand, which was now thrashing
about in a demented fashion. His eyes travelled slowly from the hand
to Neo's face. He seemed lost for words. But then,
"Impostor!" he screamed. "You are you? Where's Neo? You've taken
his skin haven't you!"?
With that he ran at Neo and grabbed him roughly by the arms,
pinning them to his sides. He then proceeded to shake Neo erratically
as if Neo were an ugly life-sized rag doll.
"What.have.you.done.with.the.
real.Neo???" he growled.
Neo's brain had now been bashed about inside his skull to the
extent that he was almost unconscious and was now drooling
uncontrollably. Smith stopped the shaking abruptly.
"To complete my plan I must have the real Neo," he said
fiercely. "Now where is he?"
"To complete your."
Then it came to Neo.
"Your plan! It was you in Morpheus's bedroom! You've been
drugging his Chocolate spread!"
"But, but, but if you know." Smith began to mouth silently. Then
he said-
"Then you must be Neo! Only the One could know what was
happening in a completely different part of Zion! This changes
everything! We will meet again, Mr. Anderson!"
Neo tried to reply, "My name is Neo", but his head hurt too
much. Then Smith gave him hard punch in the stomach, which winded him,
then turned and stalked out the room. Neo tried to stagger after him
but he tripped on a rusty nail poking out of the floor and fell on his
face, braking his nose with a sickening *CRUNCH!*,
and knocking him out cold.
As Agent Smith fled the Nevakaneza, he muttered something about
a cheese roll and the end of the world. He meant business. But first
he had to grab a bite to eat because even agents need to sink their
teeth into a juicy hamburger (or human) occasionally.
