Gigantic spoilers for X16. Just thought you'd like to know. S/S bittersweetness, S/S angst, S/S in general. Minor S/K. Violence, blood, etc.
Chapter 3: For the Sake of a Wish [Part 2]
Subaru sighed as he walked on the gardens of the house he shared with the Dragons of Heaven. It had been a week since he'd been let out of the hospital, and he was alread tired of the other Seals hovering around him all the time. Except maybe of Kamui. Out of all the Seals, their Kamui was the one who seemed to understand Subaru the most. At least he didn't treat him like an invalid all the time. He sat on one of the benches thinking, about Seishirou's visit to the hospital.
What do you want from me Seishirou-san ? Why have you let me live after all these years ? You could have killed me many times in the past, and yet... and yet I still live... Is it because I'm worth nothing to you ? Or is what you told me in the hospital truth ? WHY Seishirou-san ?
He decided the gardens were too confining for him, and after a week of being treated like an invalid, he decided it was time he went out to take a long walk. He didn't want to go into the house to change, but then again, he didn't care what people thought of his slightly wrinkled jeans and old turtleneck. So without anyone noticing, he left the house.
Subaru walked for a long while through the streets of Tokyo, and unconciously ended up in Ueno Park. He glanced up at the sakura, feeling the connection to it, the way it attracted him to it, but also fearing it at the same time. The same feelings he'd had ever since Seishirou had marked him as his prey, all those years ago. Seishirou-san... why do you still have this power over my life ? Will I ever be able to be myself, without anyone taking control of my life ? Will I ever be just me, instead of a shadow of someone else... like I was Hokuto-chan's shadow, like I'm your shadow now ?
The omnyouji was very lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the Sakurazukamori approach him, and was very much startled to lower his eyes from watching the sakura blossoms to find the man in front of him. "S-Seishirou-san..." he said, not knowing what to say. "Konbanwa Subaru-kun. Isn't it a bit late for you to be outside ? Won't your friends get worried ?" he asked mockingly, he didn't really care if the Seals worried about Subaru, he wasn't going to let him go too soon.
"Leave me alone Seishirou-san... I want to be by myself. That's why I left the house in the first place." Seishirou just laughed at Subaru's greeting. "Why that's hardly the way to greet an old friend Subaru-kun. And besides, if you really wanted to be alone, you wouldn't have come to the place where you knew I'd most definetely find you." Subaru blushed, Seishirou was right, he'd come to Ueno Park because deep inside, he wanted Seishirou to find him.
"Seishirou-san, I..." What could he say ? He didn't even know what he wanted to say, all he wanted to do was to be in the other man's arms, like that night in the hospital. Seishirou led Subaru into a bench so they could sit down. "How's your eye Subaru-kun ?" he asked. The omnyouji shrugged, "I haven't taken off the bandages yet... I was thinking about doing it tonight..." Seishirou leaned close to him and took one end of the bandage between his long fingers. "May I ?" he asked. Subaru nodded, his heart pounding hard against his chest.
Slowly and carefully Seishirou took off the whole bandage, Subaru closing his eye, waiting until the Sakurazukamori was done. "Open your eyes now, Subaru-kun." The Sumeragi opened his eyes, now mismatched. One emerald green, the other a dull white. He could feel the tears forming in them, tears which Seishirou quickly wiped off. Then Subaru let himself go into the assassin's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Seishirou just held him gently until he stopped crying.
"Seishirou-san..." Subaru started. "Hai Subaru-kun ?" the older man prompted him. "That day at the hospital... do you really meant it ? Or are you lying to me again ?" he asked. Seishirou was stunned, he was not at his territory. He thought it for a minute before answering. "Yes, I meant what I said. I think." Subaru just nodded and rested his head on Seishirou's chest. "I believe you... I don't know why, but I believe you... I wish, I wish we could be together Seishirou-san... I wish we didn't have to be enemies. Do you think, do you think that if we had lived in another place, in another time, that you could have loved me ?" Seishirou, again, was caught off guard. "I don't know Subaru-kun." The omnyouji nodded, but otherwise didn't move.
It was getting late, Subaru shivered, he hadn't thought of bringing his trenchcoat, and cursed himself. "You should go home Subaru-kun, before the other Seals start looking for you." Seishirou said. The Sumeragi nodded and got onto his feet. "I love you Seishirou-san... Please don't ever leave me..." he pleaded. The Sakurazukamori didn't know what to answer, he wasn't sure if he loved the younger man, but he knew he cared for him. "I wouldn't want to, Subaru-kun." he answered with a small, but genuine smile.
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{{ Rainbow Bridge... the kekkai there is about to be attacked. }} the yumemi informed Subaru. Nothing more than that she said. The Seal nodded and went to the said location to protect the kekkai that would soon be threathened by one or more of the Angels. He didn't wish there was someone with him to help him, because he didn't really care if he died in this battle. As far as he was concerned, the sooner his life ended, the sooner he'll find peace from all the pain and sorrow that had become his life. Seishirou may have been telling the truth for the first time in his life, but he didn't want to wake up and find out he'd lied to him again. Better not to wake up ever again. He gathered his white trenchcoat and headed to Rainbow Bridge.
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"Go to Rainbow Bridge, I want to see the kekkai there fall. We need to take it down before the Seals reach it." Fuuma explained to Seishirou. He nodded, he had a bad a feeling about it all, but he ignored. "Yes /Kamui/, I'll make sure the kekkai falls." The Dark Kamui smirked, "And if the Seals make any trouble for you, kill them, no matter who they are... except for Kamui... Kamui is mine..." Seishirou nodded again and headed for Rainbow Bridge.
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Seishirou was setting up a spell that would blow Rainbow Bridge up in just a couple of seconds when he saw a Seal arriving from the distance. He stood up to see better, and saw that it was the person he least wanted to see. It was Subaru. I don't want to fight him ? Why do I find it so hard this time to make myself fight him ? Do I really care for him as more than a toy ? He didn't know why he was so reluctant to fight Subaru.
As Subaru approached from the opposite side of the bridge, he noticed that the Angel appointed for the job was none other than Seishirou. God, is it really our destiny to kill each each other ? Does destiny wishes for Seishirou-san and I to be apart forever ? I love him, and I think he does too, why do we have to fight ? Reluctantly, Subaru crossed the bridge until he was before Seishirou.
"What are you doing here Seishirou-san ?" he asked the older man, looking at the floor, knowing exactly what the answer to his question was. "I was sent here to destroy this kekkai. I'd suggest you to leave in peace and let me do what I came to do without fighting." he answered. Do I really mean this ? About not fighting ? "I don't want to fight you Seishirou-san..." Subaru started, and stopped to look directly into Seishirou's mismatched eyes. "But I have a duty as a Dragon of Heaven : I must protect the kekkai, and if I have to fight you to do it... I will..." he finished with a sigh.
Seishirou was worried, Subaru's presence made his duty more complicated and made him more reluctant to do it. Had it been any other Seal, he'd been able to take care of them, but Subaru... he didn't want to hurt Subaru this time. "If this is what you want Subaru-kun, then we'll have to fight, because I also have a duty as a Dragon of Earth : I must destroy this kekkai. So if you're going to stand in my way..." He let his sentence unfinished, not knowing if he meant fight, hurt, or kill. He didn't want to do any of them, but he had no choice.
Both omnyouji took out their ofuda, ready to face each other in battle, despite their reluctance to hurt the other. "Subaru-kun, I'm giving you a last chance to go away unhurt." Seishirou said, ofuda ready in hand, but Subaru was already setting up his kekkai, and at that moment, Seishirou knew that the Sumeragi was not going to back out. He wondered if what Fuuma had said was true. If so, Subaru's wish was to kill him.
Subaru started chanting a spell to attack Seishirou. The Sakurazukamori did the same, sending a bunch of ofuda flying at Subaru. The ofuda turned into ravens, but the Sumeragi chanted a counterspell and avoided the attack. Then he sent his own ofuda at the older omnyouji. Seishirou also avoided the attack. The continued this way, sending and avoiding ofuda, both set on doing their duty as Dragons, but not wanting to harm the other.
Seishirou was getting tired of playing like this with Subaru, but he knew he couldn't hurt Subaru even if he wanted to. Why ? Why couldn't I kill him then ? Why can't I even hurt him now ? What is this that I feel for him that allows me not to kill him ? he wondered. He was confused, not used to this feeling in his heart. Then he suddenly remembered something his mother had told him long ago, when he killed her. It's something beautiful to be killed by the one you love... And he remembered something Hokuto had done to him 9 years ago... Then he knew what he had to do...
"It's something beautiful to be killed by the one you love..." he whispered, repeating his mother's words, not looking at Subaru. "What ?" the younger omyouji asked, distracted from his spell by Seishirou's voice. Faster than Subaru could react, he saw Seishirou moving towards him, plunging his hand through Subaru's chest. He closed his eyes, expecting to die at that moment, but when he opened them, he saw that it was his hand the one through Seishirou's chest.
"Seishirou-san !!! What ?" was all Subaru could say, not able to believe what was happening. "You've made your wish come true, Subaru-kun..." Seishirou answered. Subaru had now tears in his eyes. "No, no Seishirou-san !!! That was never my wish !!! Sometimes I wished I hated you !!! But then I loved you more !!! My only wish was to be worth something to you !!! Why did you do this ?" Subaru said as his tears started rolling down his cheeks.
Seishirou was losing his support and collasped over Subaru. "Your sister... when she gave up her life for you... she casted a spell on moi, so that I would never try to kill you the way I killed her..." Seishirou's breathing became more labored as he lost blood. "She thought I'd never try it for the sake of my own life... but... it's something beautiful... to be killed by the one you love..." he said, his mind starting to go black.
"No Seishirou-san !!! You can't die !!! Not now !!! I need you here, with me... I... I love you !!!" Subaru said, not even trying to make his tears stop. Seishirou leaned close to Subaru's ear, no longer able to do anything more than whisper. "I did love you Subaru-kun..." he said, and then he exhaled his last breathe and fully collapsed over Subaru. "SEISHIROU-SAN !!!!" he yelled, as he held his beloved's body close to him, as the kekkai started to dissolve.
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Kamui started running towards Rainbow Bridge as soon as he saw Subaru's kekkai going up. Subaru, I hope I'm not too late. he thought as he ran as fast as he could. Just as he was nearing the place he saw the star-shaped kekkai dissolving. Oh no ! I'm late ! Subaru is dying ! were his thoughts. But when he reached Rainbow Bridge, he saw Subaru kneeling, with the body of a Dragon of Earth on arms, the Sakurazukamori's body. "SUBARU !!!" Kamui yelled.
Subaru looked up at Kamui just as Rainbow Bridge stated falling apart. "SUBARU !!! Come back !!! The bridge is falling !!!" Kamui kept yelling. Subaru just wanted to let himself fall with the bridge, to follow Seishirou. He didn't want to stay here, but when he heard Kamui's voice, he knew he couldn't leave him alone, as Seishirou had left him alone. He let go off the Sakurazukamori and started running towards the end of the bridge. He reached it just as it finished collasping.
Kamui threw himself into Subaru's arm. "Subaru, I thought you were dead ! Please don't scare me like that again !" he said, then he looked at his face. "Are you ok Subaru ? Do you want to go home ?" Subaru just nodded and let himself be guided by Kamui back to the house he shared with the other Dragons of Heaven.
