Yeah, we know, Marion and I are so evil that we made such a bastard out of cute Subby-kun. ;_________; He's now the Sakurazukamori. Will he ever recover his sanity ? Well, just read on, find out, and tell us if you like it. And don't worry, we'll keep writing, there are still lots of ideas in our twisted, evil minds... Ohohohohoho !!!!! And thanks to the people who liked our evil Subaru-kun !!! We LOVE YOU !!!! Oh and btw, more Sak Subaru/Kamui, baddie Fuuma/Kamui, Fuuma/Seishirou, and Seishirou/Kamui [but not exactly like that, you'll find out later. XD]
Chapter 5 : Madness
Subaru looked at himself in the mirror, then he looked at his own hands, then back to himself in the mirror, then back at his hands, and he repeated this cycle over, and over. At this moment he couldn't believe what he'd done to Kamui. He'd marked him as his prey, he was really becoming like Seishirou !!! He wondered if this was what he had really wished since the moment Seishirou had killed his sister and he'd sworn to avenge her death. Is this what I was waiting to become ? A bastard, cold-blooded, unsentient assassin ?
Then his mind went back to the moment when he'd raped and marked Kamui, he had violated the boy's physical body, his mind, his very soul. And he couldn't explain why, but he'd liked it in a way. But still, he could not forgive himself for what he'd done. He thought back a felt it hadn't been him who had hurt Kamui like that, in his mind, it was Fuuma who did it all, not him. He would never hurt Kamui, would he ? But the marks on Kamui's hands spoke for themselves, Fuuma would have never been able to do that. What did I do ? What did I do to Kamui ? I marked him. I have to kill him now. But I can't. I know I can't ! I love him...
Subaru's legs gave out and he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. What did I do ? Why did I do it ? Why did I like it ? Kamui... my poor Kamui... He cried until no more tears came to his eyes. Seishirou-san... Where are you ? I miss you... I need you... Help me, please...
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Seishirou could feel Subaru's pain, even though he was no longer alive. He could hear his desperate plea for help, even in the land of the Meifu. This was special kind of bond they had. Seishirou had never guessed it would last even through death. He had thought that it would be dispelled whenever one of them died, as it is common with the kind of bond a Sakurazukamori has with a prey. But with Subaru it had been different somehow, and he didn't know why. Still he wished to help the omyouji, but as he still was in the Meifu, he didn't know how. For some reason, his soul hadn't moved on yet, which he took as a signal that his role in the whole battle for humanity wasn't over yet.
Then the answer came to him, and it was simple really. He was still somehow connected to Subaru, which meant he still had some powers, the fact that he was dead not mattering. He tried forming a small illusion, just a tiny sakura petal in his hand. It worked. Maybe the plan that was forming in his mind would work, maybe he could still get to Subaru, and talk to him again. He started weaving treads of magic and chanting a spell, he really wished this would work, it was his only hope.
And it did, soon, he felt his spirt sliping inside Subaru's dreams. He knew neither of them was 'real', we were only spirits inside of a dream, much Kakyou's dreamscape, as I understand it. But it is the only way I have to see Subaru-kun, so I had to be grateful I managed even that.
//Seishirou saw the 'dream Subaru' he thought and slowly walked towards him, not sure of what would be the omnyouji's reaction when he saw him. He didn't want to cause him too much of a shock. Finally, as the other man never turned around he almost too quietly whispered a name: "Subaru-kun..."
Subaru stiffened as he heard a voice, and slowly turned around. "Seishirou-san..." he whispered back and walked, almost ran to him. "Seishirou-san..." he repeated, touching the Sakurazukamori's face gently. "Hai, It's me Subaru-kun, but this is just a dream. It's just my spirit here..." he said, but was interrupted as the Sumeragi kissed his lips softly. "I know... This is just a dream... And I will wake up, and I'll be alone again Seishirou-san, because you're dead..." he suddenly clutched the older man's shirt desperately.
"Why did you leave me Seishirou-san ? Didn't you know I love you ? Didn't you know I need you ? I miss you so much it hurts !!! Each day is like a torture to me, knowing that you'll never come to me again. It's worse than when you left me 9 years ago... because then, I was sure I would see you again someday, and now..." he started looked up at Seishirou as tears started to run down his cheeks.
Seishirou just gently gathered Subaru into his arms, stroking his hairs softly, letting Subaru cry against his chest. The omnyouji buried his head into the other's chest and just let the tears flow, his body shaking. When no more tears came, he looked up at the Sakurazukamori's eyes. "What you told me then, when you were dying... Is that true Seishirou-san ? Or you didn't know what you were saying ? Or were you lying to me again ? D-did you really mean those words ? I just have to know !!!" he said, frantically looking for the truth in his soul mate's eyes.
Seishirou looked back into Subaru's eyes and nodded. "Yes, I love you Subaru-kun..." Subaru's eyes were instantly filled up with fresh tears, and he clung even harder to Seishirou. "Then, why Seishirou-san ?" The older man sighed and looked away. "Because all I do is hurt you... And I thought that maybe I got out of your life forever, I'd stop hurting you..." he answered. "But you hurt me more by not being with me, Seishirou-san !!! I just can't live without you..." he said, pressing his cheek into Seishirou's chest.
They stayed that way for a long time, neither of them moving or talking. It was Seishirou who broke the silence. "Subaru-kun ?" he asked. "Hai ?" Seishirou looked into the Sumeragi's eyes. "Don't kill Kamui yet... Remember he has a duty to fulfill in the Promised Day... And... you love him, don't you ?" Subaru looked away from the Sakurazukmori he felt ashamed of all he had done to Kamui in the past days. "Hai... I love him..." And these words were so true for him, so easy to say at that moment that he didn't understand why he couldn't tell them to Kamui anymore...
Seishirou kissed Subaru slowly and gently, a kiss filled love. The younger man kissed back desperately, wishing to hold onto that moment, never minding that it was just a dream, an illusion. Soon it was time for Seishirou to leave. "I have to go now Subaru-kun..." he said. "No !!! Please, don't leave me !!!" Subaru pleaded. But the other man just shook his head. "Subaru-kun, this is just a dream, this is not really me, it's just my spirit inside your dream, you can't spend all the rest of your life like this." But the omyouji was stubborn. "And why not ? I'd stay here just to be with you again !!!" Seishirou shook his head again. "Please, you need to help Kamui fulfill his Wish... but... I think I'll visit you again. Subaru nodded and kissed Seishirou again, then the Sakurazukamori disappeared from Subaru's dream in a swirl of sakura petals.//
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Subaru woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his door. Groggily, he got up and looked at his alarm clock. It was 11:30 am. He had never slept until so late. He was a bad sleeper, usually he only got about 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night, but for some reason he had slept well last night. Then he thought of his dream. Seishirou-san... Aishiteru... I need you...
The insistent knocking on his door brought him back to his senses so went to open the door. He found Kamui standing on his doorway, ready to knock again. Kamui had come to tell the Sumeragi to leave him alone, but before he could utter a single word he was embraced by Subaru. "I love you !!!" he said. The boy was shocked but hugged Subaru back anyways, he still loved the older man, and he was very happy to hear those words, those words he had never expected to hear again from his lips. Soon, they let go off each other.
"Come on in Kamui, I promise I won't hurt you." he said to the younger boy, who walked inside a bit warily, not fully trusting this Subaru. "Do you want some tea ?" the omnyouji asked and Kamui nodded, sitting down on the couch. "Alright, I'll be right back." he said, and went into the kitchen to set some tea to brew. The boy just waited in the living room, too scared to do anything, lest he'd anger Subaru and get hurt by him again.
After a few minutes Subaru came back carrying two cups of tea and sat on the couch next to Kamui, handing him one of the cups. Kamui took the offered cup and sipped at the tea. It was green tea. And at this moment, just sitting there, next to each other, he felt as if the old Subaru was back. He couldn't hold it any longer, so he put his cup down and buried his face in the older man's chest.
"I missed you so much !!!" he said, as he tried to hold back the tears. The Sumeragi put down his own cup too and gently stroked Kamui's hair. "I'm so sorry Kamui, I shouldn't have hurt you like that. I feel as I'm losing my mind !!! It's not me !!! Seishirou-san's powers and mine are fighting... I think it's impossible to have both at once... I suppose that no matter what, his powers and mine will always oppose each other..." he said.
Kamui didn't say anything, he really didn't understand what his lover was going through, he just held on tighter onto him. Subaru did not say anything for a while either, both contented with being in each other's arms. Finally Kamui broke the silence, "I forgive you Subaru, and I promise you I'll do what I can to help you !!! I'm not going to let you suffer like this !!! There must be a way to get you back to normal !!! And I will find it !!!" he said with a determined look on his face.
That was too much for Subaru, he started crying into Kamui's hair. "I'm so sorry for everything Kamui... You're too good... I don't deserve your love..." he said. The boy nuzzled Subaru's chest, "Please don't say that... I love you and no matter what I'll keep on loving you..." Then Kamui turned his face upward and softly kissed Subaru on the lips. I don't know why, but I think Seishirou is somehow behind this change in Subaru...Thank you Seishirou for what you did, whatever it was !!
The two of them spent a long afternoon, laughing, crying, talking to each other, just like before. Both of them missed each other so much, loved each other so much it hurt to be apart. But the good times, as always, were over too soon. When evening started setting in, Subaru felt his brief period of sanity fading away, his powers again trying to fight Seishirou's. "Kamui... I... am losing it again... Please leave... before I hurt you again..." Subaru told the violet-eyed boy, who immediately obeyed, he knew there was nothing he could do at the moment. "I love you Subaru..." he said, and then left the omnyouji's house.
*** *** *** *** ***
Subaru's head hurt like hell, but in a deep corner of his mind he was glad to have told Kamui to go away. However, the bigger part of him was angry at himself by having let his little prey escape so easily. Next time, Kamui, you won't get away so easily from me... he thought. He stood up from the couch and went to the medicine cabinet to get himself an aspirin and then went to look for a glass of water. I wish my head would stop hurting... and my eyes... and I want Seishirou-san alive...
He was intending on going back to bed and try to get some sleep before going to feed the Tree when he heard an insistent knock, or rather, pounding, on the door. He didn't really notice Fuuma's presence, nor did he care of anything else than making his head stop aching. He thought it was Kamui, who had decided to come back despite all his warnings, which in his own opinion, was the way things should be. He was vaguely surprised to see Fuuma standing on the opposite side of the door.
"You !!!" he said, he hated the Dark Kamui in a way he'd never even imagine he'd hate someone, not even Seishirou. Fuuma just glared and grabbed him by the throat. "I thought I told you Kamui was only mine. How dare you choose him as your prey. You might think you're another Seishirou, but can't hide the truth from me, I know you hate yourself because you'll never be able to be like him." he said, pushing the Sumeragi against a wall, pressing his hand to his windpipe, cutting off the air.
Subaru struggled and finally managed to push Fuuma away, choking and taking a deep breath. "Maybe you're right, I'm trying to be like Seishirou-san, but I'll tell you something, Kamui is not yours, he's in love with a person who no longer exists, you've become exactly something Kamui will hate, that's how being twin stars works. The more you separate from your former self, the more Kamui will hate you, and the more he'll be willing to kill you. So you see who really owns the brat, /kamui/ ?" Subaru spat the title at Fuuma.
"Shut up, /sakurazukamori/ !!!" Fuuma spat the back, pinning the Sumeragi again. "This time you will really learn exactly why you shouldn't mess with me and with what is mine !!! Kamui won't hate me, not while he holds that pathetic little wish of bring /Fuuma/ back. And while he hold onto that hope, he'll be mine, and only mine." he said. Subaru struggled, but it was useless, Fuuma's grip was too strong for him, so much like Seishirou's had been. Seishirou-san... he thought.
When Fuuma was finished and left, he left Subaru on the floor, seething with rage and hatred at the younger man. He couldn't stand Fuuma's arrogance and self-importance. He swore to himself that he'd kill him if it was the last thing he did, he'd be a powerful soul to feed to the sakura. And things wouldn't be left that meanwhile, the more Fuuma hurts him, the more he will hurt Kamui.
I'm wondering if Kamui will be able to save him on the Promised Day ! He's gone too far from his other self now... he thought through his anger. Anyway, it's not important for me... If Kamui fulfills his duty and survives the Last Battle, it will be no other reason for me to wait to feed his lovely soul, his lovely body to the Tree !! He vowed to himself that Fuuma wouldn't survive through this battle either, if Kamui didn't kill the Angel, he'd do it himself, he just couldn't him to live.
*** *** *** *** ***
Kamui was very tired when he reached his own room at the place he and the other Seals' now called 'home'. After leaving Subaru's he'd spent the rest of the evening walking, eventually ending up near Ueno Park, watching the sakura from far away. Why Subaru ? Did you really have to become the Sakurazukamori ? Or did you just do it because of Seishirou ? It's not fair... not fair you didn't get to choose... not fair that I had to choose... If I hadn't had to make that choice maybe you wouldn't be in that mess... Maybe Seishirou would still be alive... and maybe I would have never met you and I wouldn't change that for anything... Kamui cried silently into his pillow until he fell asleep.
// "Kamui... Kamui..." the young boy heard a voice calling him and looked around, he wasn't sure who was calling him so insistently. "Fuuma ? Subaru ?" he asked, feeling afraid that one of them would appear in any moment and hurt him again. "No... It's me..." Seishirou answered, suddenly appearing in front of Kamui.
"S-S-Seishirou ? B-But you're dead !!! And you aren't even a yumemi !!!" Kamui said, his fear at watching the former Sakurazukamori increasing. The older man smiled gently at Kamui, trying not to make him relax. "It's ok Kamui, I won't hurt you... I just want to talk to you... And I thought that maybe you'd want to talk to someone... I am dead, by I still have my maboroshi, and no I'm a yumemi." he said.
Kamui relaxed a little, looking at the Sakurazukamori's now matching eyes. "I-I'll be ok... It's just... startling, I suppose, to see in your dreams someone who the last time you saw was your enemy..." he said. Seishirou stroked the boy's cheek and pulled him into a warm embrace. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you anymore... I'm here to try to help you. I've seen what both, Subaru and Fuuma, have been doing to you... You shouldn't let them, Kamui..."
The violet eyes looked away from the honey-coloured ones. "I-I can't stop them... As much as I try to, I just can't. I need them that much. I love them that much." he said. Seishirou made Kamui face him. "It's ok to love them Kamui, but letting them hurt you is not right, they have no right to do such things to you, like I had no right to do to Subaru-kun. And another thing, be really careful with Subaru. He's mind is not stable now, he's fighting the Tree. He may still kill you, that possibility has not disappeared yet. If he tells you to go away, go! Don't hesitate. I'll come back if I think of something to help you."
The boy's eyes widened at the revelation. So it's all that damned Tree's fault !!! I swear I'll destroy the thing myself !!! Kamui thought, grateful for Seishirou's warning. "Thank you Seishirou..." he said, smiling weakly. The Sakurazukamori gently smiled back and softly pressed a kiss to Kamui's forehead. "I never break my promises, so if I do find anything, I'll come back, or if you need me, I'll come back too." he said, before letting the maboroshi fall and disappearing in his sakura-scented whirlwind. //
*** *** *** *** ***
Fuuma was walking through Ueno Park, watching the sakura trees. He sighed as he started to remember Seishirou. Why was he thinking of Seishirou anyway ? The man was dead and gone forever, why did it matter that much to him ? Maybe it was that he felt almost lonely, he didn't know or care what the other Angels did when he didn't order them to do something. For instance, Kanoe and the others could die and he wouldn't even notice. But Seishirou was different, he had made his loneliness matter less, and most of all, he had understood him.
Damn you Seishirou !! Why did you have to become so important to me !!! I thought I loved no one, I did care about you... he thought as he kicked a pebble in frustration. Then he looked up and in the distance saw Kamui. He seemed to be looking a sakura tree. No, at the Sakurazukamori's Tree. And Kamui had an almost smile on his face. What would he be smiling about ? After all the Sumeragi is the Sakurazukamori and he's his victim. Plus the one who he claims to be his 'best friend' is trying to kill him so the world will come to an end. he thought as he came to the conclusion that Kamui must have lost his mind.
He just shrugged and decided to leave the boy alone for now, he wanted to think about why he cared about Kamui. And why he felt, lonely, after Seishirou's death. So for the moment he simply ignored Kamui and started walking back to his apartment.He reached it and went inside, throwing himself down on the bed, with his arms behind his head, thinking about how felt at the moment aside from confused. He came to some disturbing conclusions. 1) He loved Kamui. 2) He must kill Kamui or be killed by him. Preferably the former. 3) He had, in a way, loved Seishirou, though it was different from the way he loved Kamui. 4) All of this was giving him a headache. Soon he fell asleep.
// Fuuma knew he was not alone in his dream, he knew there was someone's spirit in it. For a moment he thought it was Kakyou, his yumemi, who always seemed to be poking into other's dreams. "I know you're there, so show yourself." Fuuma said in an arrogant way. Seishirou finally showed himself, standing in front of Fuuma.
"Seishirou, what are you doing here ?" Fuuma asked. Seishirou looked at the younger man. "I wanted to talk to you." he said finally. "Oh really ? Well there's nothing to talk about, you're dead. So if you would excuse me, I'll see you later, either when Kamui kills me or when the world is destroyed." Fuuma answered. "It seems like you have no plan on surviving this battle, do you ?" the older man asked with a bitter expression. "Of course not, if Kamui doesn't finish me off, I'll just die off with the rest of humanity."
"Fuuma, I know exactly how you feel, or rather, how you pretend not to feel." Seishirou said, and it was true, he had spent most of his life pretending emotions did not exist, especially after he met Subaru, he had tried to bury the emotions the Sumeragi made him feel in the deepest of his heart. "It's useless Fuuma, the more you try to pretend you don't feel a thing, the more you'll be confused by the feelings." he continued, but apparently the younger man had no intention on being lectured by his ex-subordinate.
"Shut the hell up Seishirou !!! I will not accept any lectures from you !!! Death must have changed you if you come to lecture me about the way I treat Kamui, when you did worse things to your Sumeragi when you were alive !!! I'm not like you. I do not wish to be killed by Kamui, but I have to accept that whether I win or lose I will die. So shut the hell up and leave me alone !!! I know exactly what I'm doing and I don't need you to come and talk to me as if you were my father !!!" Fuuma said, and left the dream before Seishirou could say anything else. //
*** *** *** *** ***
It had been hours since Fuuma had left Subaru's house, but the omnyouji still lied on the floor, not having the will nor the strength to move. It was in this state that Seishirou found him after he had been with Fuuma. Subaru had almost fallen asleep, or maybe he was about to pass out when he heard a soft whisper. "Subaru-kun..." The Sumeragi lifted his head from the floor and looked around, at first thinking he was dreaming, and then realizing he wasn't when pain shoot through his whole body. He fell back onto the floor, but he could have sworn that he had heard Seishirou's voice.
"S-Seishirou-san ? Where are you ?" he asked, closing his eyes, trying to make the pain subside. Suddenly he felt a pair of strong arms carrying him to the bedroom and settling him on the bed. Everything was a blur, colours, light, sounds, all that he was aware of was of the ache in his whole body and the arms that lovingly stroke his forehead, testing for fever.
"Who is that ? Can't be Kamui... Too strong to be Kamui..." he asked. "It's me Subaru-kun... Fuuma... he did this to you right ?" answered the voice he thought he would never hear again but in his dreams. "Seishirou-san ? But you're dead, you can't be here !!! I killed you, even if I never meant to do it. I... I..." Why was it that he always cried when he was with Seishirou ? Was it because even being dead, he kept hurting him ? Was it because he desperately wanted him back and knew he would never be able to ?
Subaru started talking again. "I want you back Seishi-" Fingers on his lips, silencing him. "Shh... don't talk, you have a fever and you need to rest. I'll go make you some tea and bring you some medicine to clear your headache. Then I'll explain everything." he said, and left for the kitchen to do exactly what he had said, leaving Subaru alone with his thoughts.
Soon, Seishirou returned with the tea and medicines, sat on the bed, and made Subaru take them. The younger man winced at the bitter taste, but swallowed it anyways, for a moment it upset his stomach, but once the feeling had passed, the pain in his head and body finally dissapeared. He leaned against Seishirou, not having the stength to support his own body. Seishirou gently stroked his hair.
"Why are you here Seishirou-san ? I know it's not you, only an illusion, but why ?" Subaru asked. "Because I'm worried about you Subaru-kun, you're losing your sanity. Because my powers are fighting yours, and your spirit won't resist that kind of battle." he answered truthfully. The omyouji laughed bitterly. "Losing my sanity ? What is your problem Seishirou-san ?!!! Isn't it this what you wanted ?!! First making me lose my sister, then my life, because when you killed her, it is as if you had killed me. Then you made me lose the only person I've ever been in love with !!! And isn't making me lose my sanity, the only thing I had left, your greatest victory ?"
Seishirou looked away, maybe nine years ago that would have been his greatest wish, to see Subaru lose his mind, see him suffering. But now, it caused him so much pain to see Subaru like this because of him. "No Subaru-kun... I didn't want that, I wanted you to be happy, and I thought I would have never been able to make you happy... That is why I activated that spell. I thought you would be happy with Kamui..." he said, but Subaru stopped him. "Don't, we've already talked about why you made me kill you, I don't want any more excuses, because they won't bring you back to me..." he said, and clung thighter to Seishirou's shirt.
The older man gently stroked Subaru's back, trying to make him relax. Subaru looked up at him and placed a soft kiss on Seishirou's lips, who responded passionately to the kiss. The Sumeragi laid back on the bed, pulling Seishirou with him, their kissed becoming more desperate with each passing second. It's so nice... To be in his arms again.. To feel his breath against my skin... His lips on mine... It' like if he was alive...
Subaru started crying again, as always when he was with Seishirou. He couldn't decide if he loved or hated this man. He wanted, tried so hard to hate him, but he couldn't, he just loved him the more, wished with all his heart that the could have another chance to be together, no matter how much it hurt. And yet, it was so hard. To bear the presence of the one who broke his heart, his soul into pieces... Who made his life a hell.
He pushed Seishirou away. "Go away Seishirou-san !!! I love you, and I hate you so much at the same time !!! LEAVE !!! I don't want to see you ever again !!!" Seishirou was shocked by Subaru's behaivor, but he nodded, getting off Subaru's bed, looking sadly at the younger man. "I understand Subaru-kun, and I'm sorry for each and every time I ever hurt you. I won't see you again, ever." he said, and disappeared in the usual way, leaving Subaru alone again.
Subaru slammed his fist against the pillow, his tears never having stopped. He hated Seishirou, he hated Fuuma, he hated himself. There was only one thing in the world that would help him bear his pain at this moment. My little prey... I shouldn't have let him get away... I miss him... I really do... His screams of fear and pain... His big violet eyes full of tears... His shrimpy little body... All what I like in him, all what I want ! It's so funny to crush him under my feet !! Soon, he would have Kamui again. Soon, very soon...
*** *** *** *** ***
Another night at Subaru's house, another rape for Kamui... But he can't do anything against Subaru, he can't do a single thing but silently cry and hope the Sumeragi will stop hurting him. But dares not move a single finger against the older man. Maybe he fears that Subaru will be angry at him, maybe he wants to believe Subaru still loves him, maybe he just doesn't do anything because wants Subaru to be happy, and he will sacrifice anything for that. His own dignity and pain are a small price to pay for him. If he could just make Subaru happy, but he knows he'll never fill the emptiness Seishirou left in Subaru's heart.
"Please... Subaru... don't... it hurts so much..." Kamui said, as the pain was tearing through his whole body, but Subaru pretended not to hear. And when he was finished he just lay next to Kamui, smoking a cigarette, not caring whether the boy was still concious, whether he was still breathing. No 'I love you' or anything. Just silence and the cigarette smoke filled the room. Kamui cried silently, not wanting Subaru to hear him.
"S-Subaru... he finally spoke. Why ? Don't you love me anymore ?" Kamui asked, not hiding his tears from Subaru anymore. "Yes, I still love you Kamui. I love you screaming in pain. I love the way your eyes get big and wide with tears. I love the way you can't even fight me when I hurt you. And I will certainly love to kill you and feel your body and soul to the sakura. It will love you too. It already does." Subaru answered, just making Kamui's tears increase.
"I hate you Subaru !!! I hate you !!! What did I ever do to you ?" he turned his back on Subaru. "There's a simple reason, my little Kamui. You keep trying to take Seishirou's place, and you know I will never love you like I loved him. And besides, you know you don't hate me. Or else, you'd try to fight me when I do this to you."
Kamui closed his eyes and shivered, but remained silent. How can I live like that ? How can I accept that ? All these sufferings my two loves adore to inflict me ? Why ? Because I love them... Kamui thought. About the man in bed with him in this moment, and about Fuuma... But is love a good reason enough to let them do all what they want to my soul and body ? For me it is. Giving my life for Fuuma or Subaru would be so much joy for me ! Kamui thightly gripped the bedsheets, suddenly feeling the world spinning around him. Death... Such a fascinating idea... Everything, every suffering would stop... Forever... Peace... Only peace... he thought, before falling into the darkness of unconciousness.
*** *** *** *** ***
Somehow, Kamui managed to make it back home, and now he lay in his own bed, with a high fever and a pain all over his body. His sleep had been disturbed by nightmares. Of Subaru, of Fuuma... His only moment of rest was when Seishirou had again visited him dreams and comforted him. And Kamui find that strangely nice. Seishirou was the only one left he had to cling to, and not really because the man was dead.
// "Kamui..." he said softly to the boy who lay in the floor of his own dream, crying. Kamui looked up and threw himself into Seishirou's arms, burying his head in the older man's chest. And Seishirou just held him, blaming himself for the slow, yet evident destruction of the innocent boy's heart and soul. He gently stroked his head and whispered soothing words. Never in all his life [and death] would he have thought he would be the one to comfort Kamui.
When Kamui's tears stopped long enough for him to talk, he told Seishirou all that had happened, even if he already knew it all. "I don't think he loves me anymore... I... I think he hates me... because I tried to take your place..." Kamui said, not looking into the sakurazukamori's eyes. "No Kamui, it's not that... It's the power of the Tree that is doing this to him... It has nothing to do with you, he loves you as much as he ever did, and you never did try to take my place. I understand you... And I want to help you..." Seishirou said, making Kamui face him.
Kamui looked up into Seishirou's eyes. "H-Have you found out yet how I may save Subaru ?" the boy asked. Seishirou nodded, these were not good news he had for Kamui, as the only way he'd found to save the Sumeragi was not an easy one. But then again, he was the kamui, maybe, if anyone could do it, it was him. "To save Subaru-kun, you must destroy the Sakura... I think you have that power Kamui..." he said.
The young, violet-eyed boy looked at Seishirou in confusion. "Is there really a way to destroy that... thing ?" he asked. Seishirou shrugged. "I don't know Kamui, I never tried. I didn't need to or want to because I was raised to be what I was, so I never thought of it. But you're kamui, if you can't destroy it, then no one can..." he said. Kamui nodded. "I'll try... for Subaru..." Seishirou smiled at him. "Yes, for Subaru-kun..."
So, what do you think of this one ? Think we really exaggerated with Subaru-kun this time ? *Grab Subby* Well, don't kill him, not yet, anyways. XDDDDDDDD Feedback would be really, really, really appreciated. And well, next chapter will come soon enough. Hopefully you're liking it. ;)
