FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY

Chapter 16: Caught Between Fantasy and Reality

Rating: PG for slight sexual and vulgar language

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Higher Ground-related with the exception of this story. The plot, lines, etc. were all written by my imagination (which tends to exceed the limit sometimes) and myself.

A/N: Thanks for the sweet reviews, guys! This is definitely what I missed about ff.net…the reviews! I tried to make this chapter longer, and I tried to include everyone…not just S&S. By the way, I know I kind of rushed a little with S&S…but the whole hate thing was getting annoying. Plus, I'm ready to finish this story and start others! I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update…a lot of bad, unfortunate events have unfolded since my last update, so I've been really busy. I usually never have time to post on weekdays, so Sunday is usually post day for me…if I get my desired reviews, hehe. Anyway, the only reason why I "hold chapters hostage" is because I don't want to be taking the time to post chapters…if no one is reading them. Get what I mean? With that said, thanks again…and, as promised…here's chapter 16!

A Note for Katie: It sure has been a while! Lol, I'm really glad you're still reading my story after all this time…it means a lot to me! Oh, by the way…I do remember you! Hehe

A Note for Luann: Your cat…UNCOOKED? Lol!

A Note for Jess: Yeah…I know it did get a little romantic there, and it's weird 'cause I usually never feature REALLY romantic exchanges…but I think I've matured as a writer over the past year, so I guess that's where it came from. Thanks for the review, anyway.

Special Offers: You all may remember that I used to have a mailing list. Well, in the midst of all the crazy stuff going on in my life, I seemed to have misplaced all of the email addresses belonging to my list! SO, I'm asking if all former members of my mailing list…please include your address in a review or email if you wish to still be a member! However, my mailing list is open to EVERYONE…so anyone else interested, feel free to do the same! All the mailing list is an email I send to everyone on my list every time I finish a chapter. It includes the date and time I uploaded the new chapter, as well as the title of the chapter and a direct link that leads to it. It is free of charge, and I don't use your email address for anything but the mailing list (no ads, offers, etc.). If you're interested, either email me at afgirl122@hotmail.com or just let me know in a review!

Special Thanks: I love ALL of my reviewers…old AND new, but I just want to put a heartfelt thanks out to the reviewers who have been with me from when I started writing FTE a year and a half ago…

-Katie

-Maya

-Jess

-Liz

and especially…JEN!!!!! Jen-you've been reading, reviewing, and offering me advice for my stories since I've been here…that's about 3 years now! Your stories are AWESOME, and I wish you would continue to post! But, anyway, thank you SO MUCH for everything…you're such a great person and writer!

Recap: CHAPTER 15-Scott and Shelby FINALLY welcome their feelings for each other

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"Juliette."

Upon getting no response, the voice persisted. "Juliette."

Slowly the thin brunette brought her head up, her eyes empty. Lifeless. "What?" a small voice asked softly, almost quivering.

Peter's heart ached at the sight of wet tears still cascading down her pale face. She's so scared of her mother; she still desperately vies for her approval. He took a deep breath as he prepared to be the bearer of news. "Juliette, I talked to your mother…"

That was all that needed to be said…for she understood. Peter's eyes said it all.

It took all of the strength she kept bottled up to contain herself, to not break down. "How bad is it?" she forced out shakily.

Peter gave no answer, for he was trying to piece together any sort of comforting words as consolation for the young girl. Your mother loves you, Juliette. Although she has a different way of showing it, she does. She loves and cares for you very much.

*FLASHBACK*

"Mr. Scarborrow, I entrusted the care of my daughter to you so that she could get past this stage of pure immaturity! The spoiled brat wants nothing but attention, and she believes in causing self-destruction she'll get it."

There was a pause as Peter tried to come to some sort of agreement with the cold woman, anything to keep Juliette from feeling continuous pain. "Mrs. Waybourne, this has gone past wanting attention. Juliette wants love, particularly YOUR love. She's feeling a lot of pain right now, and she's using self-destruction as an outlet for that pain," he explained calmly, restraining himself from yelling obscenities at the female monster.

The woman seemed unmoved. "Juliette is not 12-years old anymore! That pathetic excuse doesn't cut it anymore," she spat out maliciously.

Peter shook his head, feeling a wave of frustration wash over him. Why can't she UNDERSTAND? Why doesn't she care for her daughter, he asked himself. "Mrs. Waybourne…"

"No," Juliette's mother interrupted coldly, "that's it…I'm THROUGH with dealing with her problems, trying to help her get past this. Bottom line is she's beyond repair."

"Mrs. Waybourne, that doesn't have to be it. With your help, she can…"

"NO! Do you hear me, Mr. Scarborrow? I'm finished. FINISHED with Juliette. Don't bother calling me anymore unless she's turned into the sunny, proper young lady I once knew."

And the line went dead.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Juliette, your mother wants for you get better, to handle your pain in a healthy way," Peter explained after a beat, his eyes pleading with hers to understand. Maybe it's the sugar-coated version, but she doesn't deserve any more pain exerted by her mother.

A small gasp escaped her pink lips, as tears flooded her dark brown eyes. "She still loves me?" she whispered, her tone hopeful. Oh, please God…please tell me I haven't ruined everything. For once.

Peter felt himself mirror Juliette's actions; she had that effect on him. She just wants to be loved; that's all she yearns for. Isn't that enough in this world today? "Of course she does…she always has," he replied, tears forming behind his eyes, while squeezing her hand to get his point across.

To his surprise, he watched as Juliette stood up from her seat, still gripping his hand, and reached to give him a hug. "Thank you, Peter," she said softly. "Thank you for everything."

Peter felt his grip tighten around the small girl. "You are very much welcome, Juliette." Very much, indeed.

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Shelby awoke to the sound of a chirp erupting from a bird perched upon the window. "The window that just HAPPENS to be right next to my bed," she groaned as she reluctantly sat up, kicking the sheets to the floor.

Once the sleep had left her eyes, she glanced around at her surroundings. Empty, she noticed. Well that's a change. Shelby couldn't think of one morning where the dorm was anything short of chaos. With Juliette hogging the mirror, Daisy pleading with anyone and everyone to get their cards read, and eight girls using one bathroom…chaos always seemed to result. But not this morning. Weird.

A cloud then transformed her seemingly good mood. A cloud in the form of Katherine stepping out of the bathroom. So much for a quiet, chaos-free morning. Katherine always attempted to play 'Psychiatrist' with Shelby. Well not this morning, the blonde decided. For some odd reason she felt light, carefree and…happy. And although she had no clue why she felt this way, she didn't intend on changing it.

"Morning, Shelby," Katherine said warmly as she made her way over to Shelby's side of the room.

"Yeah, whatever. Where is everyone?" Shelby questioned, cutting to the chase.

Katherine smirked, her famous dimples showing. "They're at breakfast. It seems as if nothing can come between girls and…"

"What!? What time is it?" Shelby interrupted, her eyes wide in disbelief. She had never ONCE missed a single breakfast at Horizon.

Katherine glanced at her watch, confused. "9:34," she reported pointedly.

Wait! That means… "I overslept!?" Shelby exclaimed, jaw dropped. She never overslept. Ever. The nightmares always came when her head hit the pillow, so she always went without sleep. She would just lie there, whispering words of comfort as solace. By the time breakfast rolled around, Shelby would be up before any of the other girls, eager to escape the torture. Eager to put on a mask, a mask, which hid the dark circles under her sorrow-ridden eyes.

Katherine shrugged as if it were no big deal. "Yeah, I guess so" she replied, confusion crossing her dark features.

"Well…why didn't you wake me up, Kat!? Why'd you let me sleep?" Shelby questioned, eyebrows arched in wonder.

Katherine seemed taken back by the question. "What's the big deal? "You seemed so peaceful, Shel. You had a slight smile on your face…it was like you were having this nice, pleasant dream, so I didn't want to wake you. I didn't want to see you unhappy."

Shelby gulped as she attempted to let it all sink in. I was…dreaming? A PLEASANT dream? Of what? What could I have possibly been… And then it hit her. Scott. The whole supposed magical night she had experienced last night had been a dream. Just a dream.

"Shelby, you okay?"

Shelby shook her head as if to eradicate any sense of happiness she had just felt. You have GOT to stop thinking about this guy. He's taking over your life. Taking over how people perceive you. And you are NOT going to have people thinking you are HAPPY. For God's sake-ANYTHING but that. Snap out of it-he wants nothing to do with you. "Yeah, fine. Next time you decide to try and help me…" the witty blonde started.

"Yeah…?" Katherine drew out in a knowing manner.

"Don't."

And with that, Shelby Bad-ass Merrick turned abruptly and made her way to the bathroom, smirking along the way. I'm baa-ack!

Katherine couldn't help but shake her head at Shelby's rude departure. Right when I think the tin man has a heart… she builds another barrier, shielding that heart from being exposed. The fair-skinned girl knew she had to get through to Shelby; the question was…how?

Before Katherine could even ponder this question, a loud knock was heard- a knock coming from the dorm door. "Coming!" she yelled, as she quickly jogged to the door, while, at the same time, wondering who was at the door at such a random time.

In one swift motion, Katherine pulled open the door, slightly out of breath from her run. However, her somewhat annoyed expression changed to one of surprise in almost an instant. "Scott? What are you doing here?!"

The handsome blonde took a step towards the door. "Does it matter? Let me in," he quickly replied, not wanting to inform the school gossip of he and Shelby's somewhat turbulent relationship.

But Katherine wasn't going to go for that-not so easily. Maybe he's here to see Juliette… did the two get back together? "Are you here to see Jules? She's not here. I think she's talking to Peter or…"

"I'm not here to see Jules," Scott interrupted in an irritated tone, Dammit, why does she have to pry? Just let me in, okay? It's none of your business."

Katherine furrowed her eyebrows in anger. What is he hiding? "Okay, Mr. Defensive, chill out. Geez, what is with everybody this morning!?" she questioned loudly.

Scott just rolled his eyes. Sorry we don't take doses of those happy pills you can't seem to get enough of. "Whatever, Kat. Just please leave," he mildly demanded, wanting nothing more than to talk to Shelby…alone.

Katherine simply huffed in response, as she reached around to grasp the door handle. "Fine, but only because I don't wanna be around your negative attitude anymore," she aggressively assured him, pushing her long dark hair out of her face-for dramatic purposes.

The frustrated blonde opened his mouth to voice a witty response-and then proceed to forcibly shove the annoyance out the door-when he heard a door knob turn.

Both a bewildered Scott and Katherine turned their heads to see a newly-dressed Shelby whip open the bathroom door and step out of the room, her eyes focusing on the floor. "Kat, the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself. You should really get that checked out."

Upon getting no response, the blonde's cloudy blue eyes looked up to reach Katherine's confused hazel eyes, and then Scott's shocked starry orbs. Her mouth involuntarily opened, as she tried to force herself to breathe. Scott…in the dorm…right now. "What's going on?" she finally voiced after a beat, confusion noticeably coming across her features.

Katherine looked from the seemingly dazed Scott to the very uncomfortable being of Shelby- and it hit her like a flash of lightning. A smug smile crossed her face, as her conclusion was drawn. So THAT'S why Mr. Defensive was acting so secretly. He and Shelby are now an item! I HAVE to tell somebody! Very rarely did Horizon gossip arise, and the hopeless romantic knew she couldn't pass up this great opportunity. "Well, I am all of a sudden REALLY hungry, so I'm gonna go to breakfast now. See you guys later!" Kat sputtered quickly, swiftly opening the door, stepping out, and shutting it loudly- all in one motion.

Once outside of the girls dorm, Katherine giggled in excitement, her dark brown eyes sparkling-like a young schoolgirl. Time to let the Cliffhangers in on Horizon's newest couple!

Shelby, her confusion intensified by Katherine's abrupt exit, slowly averted her eyes to Scott's, trying with all her being to not lose her composure. It was just a dream, remember? He wants nothing to do with you, and you with him. He's probably looking for Queenie or something. "What are you doing here?" she finally forced out, all of a sudden feeling very uncomfortable under Scott's affectionate gaze.

God, she's beautiful. Her eyes were so full of emotion, and Scott felt himself being lulled into a trance, her eyes casting some sort of spell on him. "I came to talk to you," he finally replied, his eyes never leaving Shelby's.

Shelby's eyebrows furrowed in pure bewilderment. "Why?" she asked slowly, It was just a dream…right? "You hate me…remember?" she felt herself questioning maliciously.

Scott's eyes widened in shock as Shelby's words registered in his mind. Did she not feel anything last night? Was it not mutual? "No, Shelby, I could never hate you."

All of a sudden, Shelby felt his warm hand cup her chin, as he turned her face towards his. As she felt herself succumbing to his touch, she quickly pulled away-without a second thought. "What are you doing??" she spat out, her eyes in angry slits.

Scott abruptly pulled his hand away and placed it in his pocket, starting to feel anger wash over him. "What is your problem, Shelby? Why are you turning away from me?"

Shelby just stared at him, feeling more confused and more angrier than ever. He's just doing this to mess with your head. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care. As she racked her brain for any sort of malevolent or mean things to use as retaliation, she realized she had none. In spite of his supposed mind games, she still wanted him.

"Are you telling you didn't feel ANYTHING last night, Shelby? Nothing?" the upset blonde questioned, praying he wasn't alone in his feelings.

Last night?? It wasn't a dream!? "I, uh…I…" Forming complete sentences was not working for Shelby, for she couldn't piece the words together. Giving a defeated sigh, she sheepishly muttered quietly, "It won't work, Scott."

Scott couldn't believe his ears. "What? Why do you say that? We haven't even given it a try!" he exclaimed, trying to make sense of the situation.

Shelby simply shook her head, a small smile coming over her lips. For so long, she had wanted to be in this exact moment… yet she had grown over the last few days, and she had learned that there were no such things as happy endings. And a relationship with Scott. You have to accept it, Shelby. Stop thinking with your heart…use your head! "Scott, there a bunch of reasons why it won't work," she finally replied calmly.

Scott, however, was not as rational. "WHY, SHELBY!? Huh? I want you, you want me… we shared a MOMENT last night! And I know that we BOTH want to share many moments similar to that…TOGETHER!" he yelled, his face turning red in frustration.

Upon hearing Scott yell at her- about, ironically, soft and sweet feelings- Shelby felt her anger rise, and all signs of calmness were gone. "WHY CAN'T WE BE TOGETHER!? How about because we fight about EVERYTHING? We're even fighting about our feelings! That is NOT normal! Also, in case you have forgotten, you have a GIRLFIEND, Scott! I know that Princess is not my best friend, but she deserves MORE THAN THAT!"

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, SHELBY…WE BROKE UP!" Scott screamed, his anger rising to all new levels.

They broke up?? "You did?" Shelby felt her voice complying softly. Only Scott could make the tone of her voice dull and then intensify-all in one moment.

Scott's heart softened, as did his expression, as he heard the soft tone of her voice. "Yeah, Shelby. We did."

It was quiet after that. Shelby was pensive, contemplating these new feelings rushing at her, and how to handle them. Scott was confused, as he scratched the back of his head nervously… yet he knew how he felt, and he only hoped Shelby would realize how she felt as well.

"It won't work, Scott," Shelby repeated, nervously biting her fingernail, her eyes studying the floor.

Scott closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. He decided to also use repetition. "Why?"

Shelby turned her attention to the sullen blonde standing in front of her. "Like I said before, we fight. Sure, we had a moment…but we're complete opposites," she stated matter-of-factly, not liking the truth in her statements. "Besides," she began, "we know nothing about each other."

At the sound of those words, an idea ran through Scott's mind, and a grin entailed his beautifully smitten face. "Then how about we enforce that idea you had?" he suggested firmly, his face tilted slightly in an adorable pose.

Shelby whipped her head towards Scott, not liking where this newfound whim was coming from. "What are you talking about?" she asked slowly.

Scott stepped in towards her, feeling aroused at her uneven and shaky breath. She has feelings for me…she wants to be with me. "I'm talking about you and me…every night at 8…asking each other questions and learning the answers," he explained, gently placing his hand on Shelby's waist.

Although she tried to hide the smile forming on her face, it was to no avail. She was infatuated with him, with his wit and charm. Simply infatuated. "I tried that twice before, Scott, and it didn't work," Shelby replied after a beat. God, I wanna be with him.

"Yeah…" Scott's grin then grew even wider, as his face lit up, "but you know what they say…"

Shelby shook her head, confused, yet barely listening…for he was pulling her in a trance, his grip on her tightening.

"Third times a charm," the handsome blonde finished, his grin turning into a full-fledged smile, as his arms surrounded Shelby, pulling her into his neck.

Shelby knew she should pull away and offer some sort of awkward excuse, like, "I have to go brush my teeth." Or offer more unlimited reasons in the unending Scott and Shelby saga-as to why it would never be complete, or at LEAST tell the poor guy he was moving too fast. But she couldn't. Her head wasn't functioning at the moment, for it had been overtaken by her heart. Shelby was infatuated.

"Okay," she heard her voice complying, her face still buried in Scott's neck. Her smile grew, when she felt Scott smile and he, to show his approval, pushed a hand through her soft hair adoringly. "I'll do it."

********************END CHAPTER 16************************

Whew! How was that!? I know I pulled the ol' romance again, but I'm on a Shakespeare streak here! Anyway, I PROMISE I will be more prompt about updating. IF I RECEIVE 5-10 REVIEWS, I WILL UPDATE SUNDAY, IF NOT SOONER! So what are you waiting for!? REVIEW!

In Chapter 17: Kat lets some of the Cliffhangers in on a "little secret", Auggie and Juliette talk, Juliette deals with her cutting, perhaps Daisy/Exra ness, AND Scott and Shelby's meeting… will it go well, or even GO, at all!?