Author's notes – Hey everyone! Graduation is exactly a week from now. Scary. Anywho, I really hope you enjoy this next chapter. I had so much fun writing it. I've gotten a bit of criticism on the overuse of swear words in this fic, and I feel to need to respond to this. First of all, I know I swear too much in this fic. That's one of the reasons it's so fun. Second, in the manga, InuYasha actually swears WORSE than this. No lie, he uses the F-word quite a bit in the Japanese version of the manga. They had to clean it up quite a bit when the manga was released in English. Anywho, enjoy the fic!

Rated – R for swearing, the corruption of innocence, and sexual innuendo

By – Merc

InuYasha – The Condensed Commentary Version

Author – When we last left off, a lot of instances involving Naraku, Sesshomaru, Rin, a couple of impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barriers and more than enough indestructible and unbreakable swords to last everyone through an entire series.

Kagome – Now that everything's done, I need to go back and study for a few life-alteringly important tests.

InuYasha – And I'll annoy the crap outta you so that you won't get much studying done.

Kagome – Must you always follow me?

InuYasha – Yes.

Shippou – Kagome and InuYasha sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N…

InuYasha - *Bop*

Shippou – Ow! Waaaaaaaa!

*Kagome does mediocre on the test. She comes back to Miroku, Sango, and Shippou. As they set out to travel, they come across Kouga and all of his raging hormonal glory.*

Kouga – I love you Kagome.

Ayame – EXCUSE ME?!

Everyone – Who the hell are you?

Ayame – Well, I was supposed to be Kouga's love interest in the series, but I guess Kagome beat me to the punch.

Kouga – Eh?

Ayame – I'm Ayame!

Kouga – Who?

Ayame – You don't remember me?

Kouga – Uh…

Ayame – Think hard.

Kouga – Drawing a blank.

Ayame – Think REAL hard.

Kouga - …

Ayame – I'm your fiancée you jackass.

KougaEH?!

InuYasha – HA!!!

*InuYasha does a little victory dance.*

InuYasha – Ha ha! Kouga has a fiancée! Kouga has a fiancée! Kagome's all mine!

Sango – Since when?

Miroku – Dude, you're two-timing her with a dead chick as it is.

Kagome – Like hell I'm yours. With your dating record I'm lucky I'm not pushing daises by now!

Ayame – I hate you Kagome, our names sound exactly the same.

Audience – They do?

Kagome – Maybe the "me" part, but otherwise I fail to see the argument behind that allegation.

Ayame – Come again?

Kagome – Eat big words you illiterate feudal youkai.

Kouga – Dude, when in Dante's seven rings of hell did I get engaged?

Ayame – Hahaha! You're so funny! Hey everyone, isn't he funny? Pretending not to know when or how we got engaged. Hahahaha!

Kouga – I fail to see the humor.

Ayame – You're joking of course.

Kouga – I am…?

Ayame – YOU-ARE-JOKING-RIGHT?!

Kouga – Ipe!

Ayame – Fine! I'll tell you how we got engaged. When I was a young, statutory little wolf-girl, I was attacked by an unknown youkai. So an undisclosed amount of years ago in an unspecified place during some time at night you saved me from the aforementioned unknown youkai. You then began to carry me to some unknown place and said that if I couldn't get a boyfriend after training in an unspecified region for an unspecified amount of years, that you'd marry me.

Kouga – Uh…

Kagome – Romantic…in a demented, mind-warpingly disturbing, and uniquely ambiguous way.

Audience – Kouga needs to stop smoking crack.

Miroku – Dude Kouga, you must've been so smashed that night.

Kouga – That is the LAST time I challenge Ginta and Hakkaku to a sake-drinking contest.

InuYasha – How very touching, well guess you can't have Kagome being the non-bachelor that you are, or will be. We'd better have a fast wedding, I'll even help plan it. Hell, I'll RUN it! Time's a-wasting! Miroku's a priest, you already looked dressed up as the fur-toting girly-man that you are, and we have witnesses. Ah me, young love…

Kagome – InuYasha!

Kouga – But I love Kagome!

Ayame – That slut?

Kagome – EXCUSE ME?!

Ayame – Her and that piece of dog-crap.

InuYasha – Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence!

Giant Hairball – ROAR!!!

Sango – When did that get here?

*Ayame, Kouga, InuYasha, and Kagome all fight with a giant hairball and each other for three episodes.*

Sango – Houshi-sama, what is the point to us being here?

Miroku – So we can whisper behind the characters' backs about our assumptions to the love-pentagon which has now formed.

Shippou – Love…pentagon?

Miroku – Ayame, Kouga, InuYasha, Kagome, Kikyou.

Sango – Think General Hospital if all of the producers were all on crystal meth.

Shippou – Oh.

*Meanwhile…*

InuYasha - *Gasp* This *grunt* hairball is hard to *crack* beat…

Kouga – ACK!!! The giant hairball is biting my arm off!

Ayame – I'll save you!

Giant Hairball - *CHOMP*

*Ayame is eaten by the giant hairball.*

Everyone – O_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

InuYasha – This isn't helping Ayame.

Ayame – Mph!

*Three episodes later*

Kouga – W00t, I finally defeated the giant hairball!

InuYasha – Excuse me? How about I defeated the giant hairball and you fought like a sissy.

Ayame – I thought I did pretty well up against it.

Kagome – Not to burst anyone's bubbles here or anything, but the giant hairball we just fought was sent by Naraku.

Entire Cast - *GASP*

Ayame – Who?

Kouga – You mean you don't know who Naraku is?

Entire Cast - *GASP*

Ayame – Gee, I was only training in a secluded and far away place in the mountains for about TEN YEARS.

Miroku – So to recap, this the same chick who was pissed at Kouga for not remembering her?

Sango – That's a long time to be training…

Miroku – Sheesh, I'd never be able to wait that long for somebody.

Sango – Oh?

Miroku - *Grope*

Sango - *Smack*

*The group travels for awhile in an attempt to find Naraku. They run into an old lady.*

Old Lady – I'm an exorcist.

Sango – Looks like you're in for some competition Miroku.

Miroku – Not…really…

*The old lady takes them to a remote villiage where both she and Miroku con themselves into an inn. It's been made very apparent that the old lady totally sucks at exorcising anything larger than a dust mite.*

Miroku – You were saying Sango?

*The old lady tries to exorsize InuYasha, Shippou, and Kirara multiple times by showering them with "special holy dust."*

Shippou – Give it up already.

InuYasha – Too much holy dust…ACHOO!!!

Old Lady – Ha, the holy dust is working! The youkai shall be smote in no time!

InuYasha – Achoo!

Shippou – Ow, that stuff got in my eyes!

Sango – Please stop trying to exorcise my pet.

Random Beautiful Princess – Tee hee!

Miroku – *Follows after her*

Random Beautiful Princess – Let's go down that deep, dark, dank, evil-aura oozing, obscenely-obvious-trap of a cave and make sweet love!

Miroku – Cha-ching!

*Miroku follows the Random Beautiful Princess into the deep, dark, dank, evil-aura oozing, obscenely-obvious-trap of a cave, where he is (surprise surprise) compromised by the Random Beautiful Princess turned Random Ugly Youkai.*

Random Ugly Youkai – Hahahaha! I shall grind your bones to make my bread!

Miroku – Damnit, guess I ain't gettin' none.

Random Ugly Youkai – Are you always this perverted?

Miroku - Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence! Oh, and yes I am.

*Meanwhile…*

Sango - *Staring out the door with a really worried look on her face.*

Kagome – I think Sango is worried about Miroku.

Audience – No, REALLY!?

InuYasha – I bet he's gettin' it on right now.

Kagome – You're not helping.

InuYasha – I bet they're kissing and disrobing and having wild monkey sex right now. Can't you just picture them now? That pretty princess receiving some serious houshi lovin'? Hey Sango, can't you just picture them? Huh? Huh?

Sango - *ICY GLARE*

InuYasha – What? All I asked was if you could hear the moans from her room yet…

Kagome – OSUWARI!!!!

InuYasha - *BAM!!!*

Sango – Houshi-sama sure has been gone a long time.

Shippou – He said he'd only be gone 15 minutes…

InuYasha – Two hours if he does it right…

Kagome – OSUWARI!!!

InuYasha - *BAM!!!*

*Sango goes after Miroku. The old lady follows.*

Old Lady – You're blushing.

Sango – Buzz off.

Old Lady – You like him, don't you?

Sango - …No…

Old Lady – You love him, don't you?

Sango - …No…

Old Lady –  *Chanting* You want to love him, you want to date him, you want to marry him, you want to kiss him…

Sango – Leave me and my hormone-ridden, teen-angst overloaded life alone!

*Later on a bunch of youkai spirits appear. Sango tries to save Miroku, but gets caught by the Random Ugly Youkai. They are both saved by, ironically, the senile old lady. Kagome and InuYasha do battle with a flying translucent head. In the end the castle is exorcised, and both Miroku and InuYasha tell the old woman not to quit her day job.*

Miroku – You suck at exorcising.

Old Lady – Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence!

Sango – Riiiiiiiiiight…

*An episode involving Kikyou happens. Everyone hates Kikyou, and since it is of no importance to the story, we'll just skip right over it.*

Audience – Most…worthless…episode…ever

Kikyou – Hey!

*The group, upon hearing that Naraku has gone into hiding (again), set out to search for wherever he may be.*

Monkeys – Hello!

Kagome – How cute!

InuYasha – How annoying.

Monkeys – Impudence! You are saying impudence to us! That's impudence!

*The monkeys rob InuYasha and seal his hand to a obscenely-large boulder.*

Kagome – And the saddest part is that this episode is really in the manga.

InuYasha – What the HELL?!

Shippou – Hey, that looks familiar. It's a spell us incredibly cute and clever kitsune use to defend ourselves. That or steal from somebody.

InuYasha – BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!

Kagome – Can you help him out Shippou?

Shippou – Nope, sorry.

*InuYasha starts searching for the monkeys, and later their "god," in order to remove the spell. A bunch of hilarious scenes involving him being repeatedly squished, rolled over, drowned, and pummeled by the boulder ensue.*

InuYasha – Pain…ow…

Shippou – Maybe you should rest InuYasha.

InuYasha – Can't…need…find…bastard…monkey…kids…take…spell…off…uh…

*Miroku and Sango come back later on after spending the day making out…I mean laying lazily underneath a tree (no lie, they actually spent the day sitting under a tree like a bunch of lazy bums) and have a good laugh at the situation. That night InuYasha has nightmares involving Sesshomaru and Kouga taking his swords and Kagome while his hand is stuck to the rock.*

Kagome – Good morning everyone!

Sango – It's a beautiful day.

Miroku – How did you sleep InuYasha?

InuYasha – GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF OF ME NOW!!!

Shippou – Whoa…

*They eventually get it off.*

InuYasha – About damn time.

Monkeys – We're sorry.

InuYasha – Sorry my ass. *InuYasha pummels them all*

Kagome – Take it easy, sheesh, they're only kids.

End of Commentaries for episodes 82 – 88

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Wow, did I ever slow down the episode pace! Well, I hope you enjoyed it. As for the usual shpeal, let me just beg and plead with you readers for reviews. Please? Pretty please? I'll love you all forever if you review. PLEASE OH PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON THIS POOR AUTHOR AND REVIEW!!!