FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY
Chapter 17: Exposed Vulnerability
Rating: PG13 for slight vulgar language
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Higher Ground-related with the exception of this story. The plot, lines, etc. were all written by my imagination (which tends to exceed the limit sometimes) and myself.
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm pleased to know that you guys are happy about my return… it means a lot!
A Note for Jen: Of course I was talking about you! Lol, thank you for the BEYOND sweet compliments, and you're welcome for helping you… although I don't think I did much!
A Note for Trory-Goddess: Ya know what's weird? EVERYTHING you said was my EXACT feelings towards you and your writing! I've been following all three of your HG stories since you began posting (I even remember the time you uploaded "The Simple Things: Revisited" (my favorite story of yours) into one chapter… hehe!), and I have become a HUGE fan of yours! I LOVE your writing style because you are the narrator…and you take a sort of humorous standpoint, and it's really funny! But you also capture the true essence of S&S, and it's such a joy to read! So, to sum up my incessant rambling, THANK YOU for the compliments… the feeling is likewise!
A Note for Hopeless Romantic: Well, today is Sunday, and this chapter is being uploaded…on Sunday. So, thanks for having so much faith in me! Lol, thanks for the review.
Special Offer(s): You all may remember that I used to have a mailing list. Well, in the midst of all the crazy stuff going on in my life, I seemed to have misplaced all of the email addresses belonging to my list! SO, I'm asking if all former members of my mailing list…please include your address in a review or email if you wish to still be a member! However, my mailing list is open to EVERYONE…so anyone else interested, feel free to do the same! The mailing list is an email I send to everyone on my list every time I finish a chapter. It includes the date and time I uploaded the new chapter, as well as the title of the chapter and a direct link that leads to it. It is free of charge, and I don't use your email address for anything but the mailing list (no ads, offers, etc.). If you're interested, either email me at afgirl122@hotmail.com or just let me know in a review!
Recap: CHAPTER 16: Kat finds out about Scott and Shelby's "relationship." Scott and Shelby agree to try getting to know one another for the third time.
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"This stuff is repulsive. Utterly repulsive."
Daisy smirked aloud, as Ezra firmly placed his spoon on his plate, as if he had 'surrendered.' "Oh, come on, Ezra. You're telling me you don't enjoy Horizon's fine cuisine?" she sarcastically asked, a small smile playing at her lips.
A flirtatious grin crossed the curly-haired boy's face, as he leaned across the table, his elbows resting on the table. "On second thought, it's totally worth it because I get to be near you," he recited, using his best sexy voice.
Although the "Goth Girl" simply rolled her eyes, Ezra noticed they were twinkling in delight. "Nice one. You think of that on your own?"
He simply shrugged in response, as he leaned back in his chair, his arms propped up behind his mass of curls. "Maybe, maybe not," he replied, chuckling.
Auggie felt like he was going to throw up. He already had Juliette, the one woman he had ever loved, mad at him. So mad, in fact, that she wouldn't talk to him. Besides his frustration, he was also worried and scared for her. She had so many self-confidence issues, and he wanted nothing more than to grasp her firmly by the shoulders and tell her how beautiful she was. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen…for Juliette was on restriction and couldn't leave the infirmary until later that day. Watching Ezra and Daisy's old married couple episode wasn't making time go by any quicker for Auggie.
"Aug, what's up, man? You okay?"
The young Latino-looking boy simply threw Ezra a death glare. "Yeah, meat. Mind your own damn business, k?"
Before Ezra could offer some sort of response, an out-of-breath, frazzled Katherine began to make a scene, by nosily scraping out a chair from under the table, and then plopping down beside the Cliffhangers.
Three pairs of eyes watched her every move, waiting for her to voice some sort of excuse for her tardiness. After all, Katherine Ann Cabot had been dubbed with the nickname "Peter Jr."
Luckily they didn't have to wait long.
"You guys will NEVER guess who is now a couple!" Katherine exclaimed, feeling so anxious she felt as if she might burst.
Auggie rolled his eyes, obviously not interested, and then began to slump farther down in his chair. Seeing this, Katherine turned her attention back to the two dark-haired teens, making a mental note to talk to the unresponsive Auggie later. "Aren't you guys just a LITTLE curious!?" she questioned, surprised at the disinterest. I thought everyone at Horizon loved to hear gossip!
Daisy smirked, a sarcastic smile coming across her pale lips. She looked over at Ezra, who then followed suit and offered a slight smirk. "Kat, PLEASE tell us…we're dying with anticipation," she joked dryly.
Katherine's lips turned up into a grin of approval. "That's what I thought!" she agreed, clasping her hands together. She then took a deep breath and prepared to tell them her much-anticipated new developments. "SCOTT and SHELBY are now together!"
Ezra's mouth dropped open, and clumsily dropped his fork to the floor. It made a loud clatter, and various students turned towards the Cliffhangers and offered glares. However, no one noticed; everyone was too engrossed in the news.
"Are you SERIOUS!?" He asked quizzically, confirming he had heard right.
Katherine smiled, glad that she wasn't the only gossip-lover. "Yeah! I saw them in the dorm earlier…they are TOTALLY together!"
Ezra shook his head, curly brown strands brushing against his face. "I don't believe it…I don't believe it!" he exclaimed, pure shock still written on his face.
Daisy snorted in response, as Ezra and Kat both shot her surprised glances. "I told you they'd end up together," she stated matter-of-factly, trying to explain her point. "It was destiny."
Katherine's eyes widened in disbelief. "Destiny?" she asked, feeling more confused as ever. "How do you know that?"
Daisy simply shrugged and then glanced at Ezra, who then knew. "The cards," they both replied simultaneously, knowing smiles adorning their faces.
Katherine rolled her eyes, suddenly feeling out of the loop. It must be that Gothic lingo or something. Then, remembering Auggie and his apathy towards the new relationship, she turned her chair to the right to face him. "So, what do you think, Auggie? Destiny or random hookup?" she asked, truly valuing his opinion.
Auggie didn't even move, still looking empty and lifeless while sulking in his chair. "I could care less about Ken and Barbie," he mumbled suddenly, a deep frown covering his lips.
Katherine then frowned, also. She had thought that he would have been thrilled, for he had wanted Shelby to keep after Scott. Oh well. He must still be pining over Juliette.
Ezra spoke up then. "Ya know, destiny or not…it still doesn't make sense to me. I'll believe it when I see it."
As if on cue, the two blonde-haired teens stepped through the cafeteria doors then. Although they maintained a considerable distance from each other, their body language still entailed "together." Smiles existed on both faces, and Scott gently placed his hand on Shelby's back, as they began walking through the line. Their attitude was innocent and carefree, for they were obviously oblivious to the fact that they had been the topic of the morning's breakfast gossip.
Upon seeing this image, Ezra's mouth was agape once again, and even Auggie's gaze rested upon the new "couple." Katherine was virtually surprised in that her suspicions had been confirmed, but Daisy seemed ultimately unfazed. As she simply gave a slight snicker, she turned back to the shocked Cliffhangers and knowingly stated, "I told ya so."
*LATER THAT DAY*
The day couldn't have gone by slower for either of them. They had tried to ignore the questionable glances thrown their way, but it had been hard; they hadn't been prepared for that sort of reaction. They hadn't been prepared for any sort of reaction, in fact. So, after their collective classes and nightly edition of group (which had focused mainly on Juliette's condition), the two had mutually agreed to meet earlier that night, for they felt the overbearing need to see each other right away-with no interruptions.
Shelby felt her gaze linger on Scott's adorable face, as she tried to force her mouth to move. But she couldn't, for she was transfixed. Transfixed on the being of Scott. She knew she was in love with him; that much was evident. She just hadn't imagined that it would feel this way.
She knew she shouldn't have given in so quickly or even at all… but her wall of resistance had been knocked down, her mask stripped away. It was going to be different this time, she decided. She wasn't going to hide her feelings or run away this time. This time I'm gonna be true to myself.
Scott turned to her then, his blue eyes averting from the lapping waves of the calm water to her beautifully smitten face. As far as he was concerned, she was perfect. He didn't believe in love, for he concluded that it was vastly overrated and all talk. However, he did believe that they shared a connection, a connection one could only dream about.
"So," he began, his mouth turning up in a slight smile.
Shelby felt herself grin, also, as she repeated, "So…"
Scott gently nudged her shoulder then in mock annoyance, as his grin turned to one of amusement. I could do this forever.
It only took an instant for the defiant blonde-haired girl to offer retaliation. She swiftly jabbed her arm into his ribs while distracting him with a gentle ruffling his curly blonde hair.
Upon feeling the stinging sensation of slight pain in his rib area, he held his hands up in surrender. Although he had only known her a short while, he knew better than to try and fight back.
As their "mock fight" came to an end, Scott felt himself reaching out to brush a strand of excess hair out of her face. Soon, he left his hand to graze against her cheek after securely placing it back in place. God…what is she doing me?
Shelby slowly closed her eyes, as she felt Scott's hand upon her face, stroking it lovingly. God…what is he doing to me?
After a few minutes consisting of his warm touches upon her skin, Scott gently pulled away, mentally kicking himself for going too fast. You just started talking to her, man. Don't rush anything.
Upon feeling his withdrawal, Shelby quickly opened her eyes and shot him a questionable look. You let him go too far, Shelby. This relationship is going to be DIFFERENT, remember?
As the two blondes just simply stared at each other, a million thoughts swarming through their minds, Scott finally broke the unsettling silence. "So, you wanna start the Q and A session now?"
Shelby offered a small smile, thankful the tension was gone. "Yeah. You start," she replied quickly. Don't screw this up. Avoid any questions about the past…just focus on giving the answers he'll like. Even if you have to lie.
Scott grinned then, as he proceeded to scratch his head thoughtfully. "Okay, um…" he began, mentally pleading with his brain to offer some sort of intelligent question. And then it came to him-the perfect opening question. "Shelby Merrick…why are you here?"
All of a sudden, she felt as if she was falling. She had scaled Mount Everest…yet lost her footing at the very top. She began to rack her brain for some sort of believable answer but it was to no avail. What the HELL do I do? I can't tell him…I CAN'T. "Uhhh, you see, I… I…"
He was staring at her now, obviously confused at her stuttering. Why can't she just tell me? This is all about trust…right? "It's okay, Shelby. You can tell me," he assured her, gently placing her hand in his.
This is pointless. Just tell him the truth. "I don't feel very comfortable talking about myself just yet…makes me feel cocky," she joked, attempting to bring a light-hearted feel to the air. Coward. You fucking coward. "How about I ask you the questions first… is that okay?" she questioned, praying to any God that would listen to have Scott accept.
Scott's eyes widened in surprise, then set on confusion, but they eventually settled with contentment. She's obviously nervous about opening up. Open the floor for her to put her at ease. "Okay, that works," he finally replied, his eyes trying to read hers.
Thank God. A smile crossed her face, as she gently squeezed Scott's hand. "Thanks," she said softly, beginning to feel slightly comfortable with this arrangement.
Scott nodded at her in agreement, as he swiftly threw a hand through his hair, as for preparation for the opening-up time.
"So, when did you start playing football?"
A satisfied smile settled on his face, as Shelby's question hung in the air. Football. Something I don't mind talking about. "Well, I began playing at age 8 on my town's little league and…"
Shelby began to prep herself to take mental notes of his answer, while nodding and smiling at all the right places. A practiced, perfectly plotted routine-that's all it was. However, her manicured maneuvers couldn't stop the voices in her head. You worthless coward. That's all you are-a coward.
After taking a deep breath to regain composure, she turned her attention back to Scott, who was still rambling on about football. She wanted to know everything about him, everything that made him happy, sad…even football. But she couldn't force herself to divide her attention-fully-on the guy she had grown to love. For she was, in reality, using the extra time to devise a plan. A plan to prevent Scott from ever knowing who Shelby Merrick really was.
Juliette took a deep, cleansing breath as she reached the sweet scent of mountain air. For the past two days, she had been cooped up in the infirmary, but Peter had finally let her return to the dorms. Thank God! I felt like a prisoner in a jail cell or something.
The tiny brunette slowly bean her trek to the dorm, only turning back to give a quick wave to the nurse, who was expertly supervising her return from the porch.
As she turned her attention back to the "voyage" which lay in front of her, she silently made a vow. A vow to regain everyone's trust back and to become the Juliette she had been before. The TRUE Juliette she had known…before she had been transformed into the scared and vulnerable cutter, as a result of her mother. I can do this…I can heal. I'm strong now.
The girls dorm came into view, and Juliette couldn't help but sigh. Just like returning home. She couldn't explain the sense of comfort that washed over her, but she had no doubts that she was, indeed, safe. As she quickly bore up the steps, two at a time, she suddenly stopped…for someone was blocking the dorm door.
The person then stood to attention upon noticing her return. "Jules, you're back!"
Before she could even utter a word or even perform any sort of movement, he was hugging her. His grasp on her tightened when he felt her crumble in her arms, and he soon felt himself softly stroking her hair.
She didn't know why she had started crying. She didn't know why she had become so vulnerable when he placed his arms around her. All she knew was that she belonged this way. She belonged in this moment with this person. She wasn't afraid anymore. "Auggie…Auggie, thank you," she whispered in his ear, as he gently kissed her forehead.
As he looked down at her, and she at him…they knew. They knew that they fit perfectly, and that the worst was over. They weren't alone anymore; they were going to help each other in life's trials. For it was so lonely and so cold when one was alone.
He reached down and lightly brushed away her newly-fallen tears, as he kissed his way down to her waiting lips. The vow exchanged was sealed in that kiss. As she absently placed her hand upon his face, she leaned in further to assure him she felt the same way. She was ready to heal.
As the stars twinkled mercilessly in the night sky, a new vulnerability was shielded and protected under a foundation, composed of fake smiles, forced words, and hidden tears.
However, on the same twinkling night, on the same mountain… a new vulnerability was opened and exposed…and accepted. The walls had fallen down, and the wound was on the path to heal.
All that was left was truth. The truth unsaid, unspoken…and the truth revealed, exposed for what it was. The truth which had set Juliette free…and the truth which was virtually destroying Shelby's being.
**************************END CHAPTER 16*******************************
Okay…I think this chapter flat-out SUCKS. I was trying to narrate the story, and not so much insert the characters' thoughts… so please review and tell me what you think! I know I ended it in kind of a weird manner, but I've been in a weird mood all day, lol.
*10+ REVIEWS AND CHAPTER 18 WILL BE POSTED WITHIN THE
WEEK!*
In Chapter 18: Shelby 's summarization of Scott and the meeting, Scott and Shelby's FULL 4th meeting, Scott and Shelby's journal entries (MAYBE), and something throws Juliette off course… can Auggie help her through it?
