A/N: I hope you guys have fun reading this. For my fiction fans, it's a break from the norm. For everyone at work, I hope no one is offended because it's all in good fun and I love each and every one of you very much, and I really love my job.
General Theater
Part I: False Alarms and Emergencies
It was a slow moving Sunday matinee, heading into an even slower evening. The theater was packed, due to rain, but not overly so. Jackson, Annie, Egg and Elliot were managing, Jen Elaina, Alana, Crash, Gwendolyn and Carrie-Ann were on concession, Alex L and Kristina were in box and Alex B, Tim, Juan and Feather were ushering and watching the door. It was a typical day, fully staffed at the theater.
"And here's your large buttered popcorn sir." Said Elaina, as she handed her customer his purchase. "I can't believe how many people are here today," she said as she stepped over to Alana's register.
"I know…and to think I was gonna go away this weekend," said Alana as she filled a small drink cup. The lines were demanding, people packing the lobbies for the afternoon shows. It seemed as if everyone was trying to watch the matinee before the prices went up to evening show.
"Hey look here comes Annie," called Crash from a nearby register. He was getting off in just an hour, the rest of us staying 'til close. Annie came through the back room and was dragging Alex L. with her. "Here. Don't talk to him, he's being punished." She said with a playful smirk on her face. "Fill soda's Alex and I don't want to hear another word." He frowned and took two cups in his hand as Alana grabbed the next order.
Suddenly there was a loud siren-like sound that filled the theater. "Oh my god!" cried several concessionists, looking around frantically trying to figure out just what had gone wrong. Confusion lasted for a moment as Jan filled another drink order. "What's going on?" she asked.
"I don't know but it can't be good." Said Carrie-Anne.
"Alana, Elaina…" Annie stood between them and pushed them toward the backroom. "I need you two to go down and tell people it's a false alarm. Something's wrong with the fire alarm, it's not an emergency, tell them not to evacuate the theaters." Both girls nodded and ran, almost slipping and falling to the floor, from out behind concession. Elliot followed them as they all ran directly to theater number five, where 'Bruce Almighty' was showing.
"Oh no!" cried Elliot. "People are going out the emergency exit! What am I going to do?"
"Maybe you could chase them!" suggested Elaina.
"Wow! That's a great idea!" and he disappeared out the emergency exit of theater #5. People were rising from their seats and preparing to leave as the girls waved them back, and told them to sit down.
Upon exiting the theater, they encountered Juan and Feather in the hallway. "What was that all about?" asked Alana.
"I don't know," said Feather. "Why did you and Elaina go charging off concession like that?"
"Because Annie told us to," Elaina frowned and then shrugged. "I don't know what the hell that was but people are acting crazy because of it.
"Don't worry, it's just a false alarm anyway," added Juan, who was carrying a broom and dustpan.
"But what's causing it?" asked Alana.
"Um…retard, if we knew, we'd stop it," said Elliot as he appeared through the door from theater #5. Just then, Annie came trotting down the hallways.
"Elaina, Alana, I need you both back on concession." Both girls nodded their long hair bouncing behind them as they walked back to concession, despite the fact that Alana's was pinned high up on her head in a massive bun as was usual for her.
"What was all that ruckus with the alarm bells?" a tall woman at the concession asked Jan. "We don't really know ma'am, the fire alarm just started going off, it was only a false alarm. Fifteen minutes had passed since the alarm had gone off and things had seemed to go back to normal.
"It's a good thing they stopped that alarm," said Carrie-Ann as she filled cheese into a nacho tray. "Them people were getting pretty mad…" Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! The alarm began to sound again.
"Oh Jesus!" cried Elliot. "Not again!" and everyone came running off concession again, down the halls to the theaters. "We're going to have to shut down if this keeps up." He added, standing beside Alana and Elaina outside of theater #5. Like the parting of the Red Sea, people flowed forth from all the theaters, despite the fact everyone was screaming to them that it was a false alarm.
"How do they expect us to watch a damn movie like this?" cried an angry patron as he stormed past the three employees in the hallway. "I want my damn money back."
"Sir, you can go up front to where you purchased your tickets for a refund." Elliot sighed. "And to think this is all happening while Ken's away." Alana couldn't help but laugh.
"It seems like everytime something goes wrong it's always when Ken's away and Jackson is left in charge." Everyone laughed. As they headed back down the halls, most everyone evacuated from the theaters, and for some strange reason the lights had come on in theater #5, they saw Anthony.
"Oh man. I just got here." He didn't look happy, coming into the middle of this crisis. A line of more then two hundred people was flooded out of the lobby and into the mall, waiting for a refund else something comparable for their interruption of their movie.
"Great. Then I'm outta here! And if I'm not mistaken, so is Crash, so we'll see you all later." Elliot smirked, thankful to be leaving this mess and he headed back down the hallway.
Alana and Elaina sighed. "Lovely."
"You two go back to concession, get brooms and help clean theaters." Said Anthony and the girls nodded, getting brooms and heading back up to theater number eight to help clean. Since the movies had been evacuated suddenly, things were more a mess then usual. Big things, buckets, cups and trays, were everywhere.
"Oh here's a jacket." Said Tim as he tossed it into the aisle with a booster seat.
"Maybe we'll find some money that someone left," added Jake, who had shown up from out of nowhere as he began to sweep.
"Oh twenty dollars would be nice." Alana smirked as she bent down and looked under the seats.
"Hey now." Anthony narrowed his eyes at her, as he picked up a still full bucket of popcorn. "You know the rule about finding money. You find it, you share it."
"Then I just won't tell anyone I found it." she laughed.
"Yeah well I'll know, when you bolt for the door like a banshee."
"You'll never know, I'll just slip out quietly."
"Hey down there!" cried Elliot from up in the projection room, the glass plate tilted so it was open.
"Are we going to stay operational?" asked Alana curiously. They all crossed their fingers and hoped not, meaning they could all go home early.
"Yup. For now." He added. "The fire department's been here and told us to turn the circuit off…" his voice trailed off as Anthony and the rest headed out of the theater. Alana remained looking up to him.
"Hey this is like Romeo and Juliet, you're up in the balcony, say something from it."
Elliot frowned, in disbelief that the girl actually expected him to remember something from high school, that was so long ago. "Uh yea. Something about the east and the sun. Blah. Blah. Blah." He put the glass pane back into the window and she frowned.
"It goes, I am the east and Juliet the sun and how lucky am I to have her shine upon me…" she said as she disappeared under the box and out of the theater, but she heard him yell and turned back.
"Something about Mercutio and Tybalt. They fought."
Her smile perked up. "Yes! That's it! Do you suck your thumb at me good sir? For I do not suck my thumb at you sir." He shrugged his shoulders down at her and just laughed.
"Yeah ok. Whatever."
~*~
Less then an hour later, and order restored, all who belonged at concession where back there and fully operational towards the customers. Egg had come over from the office to cash out Crash and send him home for the night.
"Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty…" he put the money back into the drawer and put the moneybag on the counter. No sooner had he done so, the fire alarm sounded loudly again. "Shit." Faster then greased lightening, he took of running down the concession, swerved over the corner at top notch and damn near wiped out on his ass. In three great strides, his feet were high in the air, long legs hurtling the counter near the backroom door and he lunged forward, key in hand to turn the alarm off, just as Jackson came walking casually over from the office and turned it off.
Jan Alana and Elaina had cracked up laughing and burst into hysterics when Egg's face fell. He looked almost disappointed that he had hurtled faster then the speed of light and almost fell to shut the damn thing off and he was beaten to it. One might have described the look as a child having a large teddy bear handed to it and then torn from it and tossed into the fire.
"Wow." Laughed Jan. "That was great."
"Yeah I know…" added Alana. "Highlight of my day."
~*~
A good deal later, the crowds had died down, between rushes, Alana realized she had a problem. She asked around to Jan, Elaina and Gwendolyn for a tampon but found none, and the ladies bathroom didn't carry them.
"Oh I know!" said Gwendolyn a bit too eager to help. "The office has them, I'll get you one. Just watch the stand."
"Thanks Gwen, you're a life saver." And she waited for the girl to return. A young teenage boy came to her register, as did a few other customers. "Hi can I help you?" she asked the boy and he nodded, ordering a small drink and pack of sour patch kids. "Here you go…" she handed it to him, taking his money and making a transaction.
She saw Elliot, whom she thought had left, heading in her direction as an older gentleman stepped up to her register. Waving it around like it was the American flag, Elliot came right up beside the customers and handed her the tampon. "Here's your tampon Alana!" he said with a big grin on his face.
"Elliot!" she cried, mortified, tucking the thing quickly into her pants pocket. "You dumba-" she stopped herself and hit him on the arm as many times as she could before he walked away, not wanting to curse in front of the customers. "Urgh!" she grunted, as the soda she had been filling spilled all over the counter.
The semi rush had died down again and Alana stood talking with Kristina and Jake as he was filling ice. "Oh and he's an idiot. Honestly I wouldn't have cared had I not had customers."
"You should have asked me, I had some." Said Kristina.
"I couldn't find you. Oh I could have killed him." Alana sighed, wiping up her counter, thankful that Crash had gone home before Elliot's little "tamponic" performance. He would have never let her live that one down.
"Are you mad?" asked Jake.
"Nope. I don't get mad…I get even." She smirked and punched the root beer soda head once for good measure. "Jake can you please move? You're blocking my way."
"Look tampon…" he called her as if it were her name.
Alana's arm came swiftly across his back as he bent down to pick up the now empty ice buckets. "You ever call me that again and you'll get a lot more then my arm across your back. She was being whiney about it, but perhaps it was the fact that it was that time of month and he had embarrassed her in front of customers.
"Eh, don't worry about it, it's just Elliot being Elliot," Kristina shrugged. "You still working for me next Sunday?"
"Yeah," added Alana, popping an AirHead into her mouth. "5 to 11 concession right?" and the other girl nodded. "Ugh! I've got to stay 'til close, I've been here since three!"
"Don't we all. Don't we all."
~*~
Jake and Kristina had taken the butter machine into the back room for cleaning at the end of the night. She stood at the sink and was washing it out when he snuck up behind her and splashed her with water. Kristina whirled around and dumped the butter bucket full of water on his head and the water war had begun. The closing concessionists, had heard screaming and giggling from inside the back room and thought nothing of it.
"Look what she did to me!" cried Jake like a little sissy girl as he emerged from the back room, soaked from head to knees in water. Kristina followed behind him, her hair and shirt also soaked.
"Is it raining?" asked Alana.
"Yeah…go tell Egg it's raining…raining butter!" she put her hands on her hips and looked at Jake. They walked into the back room. "Shit! It's a flood back here!" and everyone trooped into the back room to help clean it up. The evening ended much as usual, and rather uneventful given the days events. Though Jackson was upset about the alarm, and it was going to cost the theater $600 to repair.
Tune in next time for another episode of "General Theater"
