Matt's back in this one! Also, some memories I've been dying to use in my fics FINALLY make their appearance! Yea!
Can I just ask…WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYONE LIKE MATT SO MUCH?!?
Not that I dislike the guy, you know, but he's not really on my list favorite character. Especially to write for, because he's so bottled up you never know what he's thinking inside.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Feh.
Lost
Chapter 5: Lost Memories
Matt jolted straight up in a bed of cold sweat. He gasped for breath a moment, then sighed. "Another dream…" he muttered, then stumbled to the bathroom for a cold shower.
These dreams were nothing new. He'd been having them off and on since his brother's death. At one point, after extensive therapy, they'd disappeared all together for about three and a half months. But they always came back.
Sometimes they were nice, happy dreams of self-confidence and remembrance. Happy memories with T.K., when they got to see each other. Sometimes they would be bad memories, times he regretted. Stuff like, if he had known, he wouldn't have gone to that band practice that time they were supposed to go to the movies. He wouldn't have yelled at the little kid so much when he was having a bad day. He wouldn't have been so cold when they were together in the Digital World, which was the most time he ever got…
He wouldn't have.
Then, more often, he'd have terrifying, frightening nightmares. These only came in the two months around the anniversary of that fateful crash. But the most common thing was always the same thing: His little brother, scanning all the different ages he remembered, begging for help that he would never get.
Sometimes it was just the awful memory of him being swept away by the waves. Other times it was the Digimon they'd fought against, about to rip him apart. Each time, T.K. would call to him, stretch for help, then nod sleepily and collapse, just before whatever danger it was fell on him. And the most terrifying, frightening one, the one he just had, the one that came again and again, was this:
T.K., eight years old, sat playing with something small on the ground before him. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the little boy was giggling to himself in his own little world. Matt felt relief in the sight, the laughter, the happiness…
But it wouldn't last. It never did.
With a horrible crash of thunder, the sky above turned midnight black instantly. T.K. looked up in frightened wonder, not noticing the hands reaching out of the ground until they grabbed his legs and arms, pulling him into the earth.
He struggled against them, pushing against the ground and trying to struggle away, but they pulled on and soon he was up to his waist in the earth. "Matt!" he cried, spotting him and reaching out. "Help me! Brother!"
Matt, the real Matt, was rooted to the spot. In his place a younger version of himself…the same age he'd been when first going to the Digital World…burst forward and tried to reach the fighting boy. "T.K.!" he shouted. "Just hang on, I'm coming!"
But no matter how he tried, the younger Matt still couldn't reach his brother. They reached for each other, and Matt's heart panged because he knew what was going to happen in the end.
With a last strangled cry, T.K. disappeared into the ground just as his brother reached him. He grabbed for the last hand, missed and stared helplessly as it vanished. "No…T.K.!" he shouted, clawing at the ground. "Give him back!"
Matt sighed, staring away from the scene. The pain burned in the pit of his heart. But this dream wasn't over yet.
"It's your fault…" the younger version of himself growled, standing angrily. "It's your fault!! You let him die!"
Matt swallowed. "No…" he whispered. "I didn't…I couldn't…"
"Why didn't you help him?!" his younger self raged. "Why?! You said you'd be there for him! Why?!"
Before Matt could react, the other self tackled him, pinning his arms down with his knees. The thing that had been an exact replica of himself had transformed in an unknown dark force, strangling him and squeezing the breath out of his throat.
"It's your fault…" the demon of his guilt growled. "You killed him…You killed your own brother!"
It was always at this point, just when his lungs gave out, that Matt would burst awake. This dream always seamed to come that one day, the day he died. But this year they kept coming back, over and over and over…
Now he dug through his closet, in search of his favorite shirt while trying not to wake his mother. Though his parents were still divorced, Matt spent half of his time with each of them, a month with his dad and a month with his mom. The only bad part was that he slept in T.K.'s old room, in which only one thing had been changed: there was a small picture of the boy, the edges wrapped in black cloth.
"Aha!" he muttered, pulling out the blue and green striped shirt out of the mess. A small avalanche tumbled down on top of him. He groaned and sat back on the ground, rubbing his sore head, before he got a good look at what had hit him.
It was a shoe box, large and old. A small picture was tacked on the top, the last photo they'd taken as a family. Written on it, in blue marker and big, messy, toddler-looking handwriting, was a single word: Memwes.
Matt picked it up. It felt heavier than you would expect, so it obviously wasn't empty. He gave it a curious shake, then lifted the top. The contents made him smile.
There were pictures, dozens of pictures scanning over at least ten years. There were family shots, greatly treasured and dug out of photo albums before their mother could cut Mr. Ishida's face out, and shots from DigiDestined picnics and get-togethers, and a few that were just the two brothers, hanging out together. Keepsakes. And looking through them, it seamed to be that T.K.'d been keeping them since he was four or five.
Matt stopped at laughed at a few at them, enjoying the shots his little brother had picked. There was even one from Kari's ninth birthday party, when Mimi convinced young T.K. that the birthday girl deserved a 'little kiss'. She had, of course, taken the picture just as the naive little fool planted one on Kari's cheek.
In the very bottom of the box, Matt discovered something heavier, thicker, and rounder than a picture. Digging around a moment, he pulled out a shell.
It was the exact half of an oyster shell. The surface was obsidian black, then faded into gentle gray, and then white at the very top. The other side was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, shining white-silver and reflecting the light around in a pale spectrum.
Matt looked at the thing with a sigh. He had an identical shell sitting on his dresser back at his dad's house, covered with dust. It was an old memory…
The sun shone through the crystal-clear blue sky, the ocean shown a sparkling blue and the warm, sticky sand of the beach looks soft and inviting.
On a steamy asphalt road running along the cliffs, a bus pulled away from its stop and zipped away, leaving two young boys standing on the curve. The elder was about nine years old, with a deep-thinking look in his eyes. The younger, holding onto the other's hand, looked around curiously.
"Matt, where are we?" T.K. asked, looking up at the other boy. "Where've you taken me, big brother?"
"To the beach." Matt smiled, shrugging. "That's what you wanted, right?"
T.K.'s eyes lit up and his brother lead him down the stairs. Once they hit the sand, however, the younger broke away and ran forward, laughing and giggling. "Wow! Lookie, Matt!" he pointed out into the sea. "I've never seen so much water in my whole life!"
"Pretty, isn't it?" Matt asked, catching up with him.
"Yeah…" T.K. suddenly sat down and started pulling off his socks and shoes. Once barefoot, he stood and rushed forward into the waves. "Come on Matt!" he called. "Let's play!"
Matt hesitated a moment, then pulled off his shoes and ran after him. T.K. waded gingerly out into the ocean, feeling the mud folding over his feet and wiggling his toes in it. "It's so soft!" he laughed, sinking a bit.
Matt followed after. "Yeah." he laughed, shivering. "And cold!"
T.K. was, once again, not listening. Like most kindergarteners, he had an attention span of about two and a half seconds. "Dere's something down here." he muttered, squatting down and shifting through the mud with his fingers. "It's hard…and black…and…Oh!"
He leapt up suddenly and ran over to his brother, grinning broadly. "Lookie, Matt!" he exclaimed. "Look look look look look!"
Matt had a look. It was a pretty black shell, with a shiny silver inside. It was the exact half of it, broken at the joint. It really was quite a find, for a five year old. "Cool."
T.K. nodded happily, put the shell carefully into his pocket, then hurried down the beach for a perfect place to build a sand castle. And for the next hour and a half he worked on it, quite content, as Matt wandered around the shore, thinking his own private thoughts.
He suddenly heard his brother crying: "Give it back! Give it back!"
Matt spun around. A couple of older kids, sixth graders, had appeared from the cliffs. One of them, obviously the leader, was holding T.K.'s shell above his head and laughing as the small boy tried to jump for it.
"You really want it, twerp? I don't think so…It's so pretty, I think I'll just keep it." the leader sneered, then pushed the five year old over. He landed square on the castle he'd worked so hard to build, demolishing it instantly. T.K. stared at it a moment, then burst into tears.
The sixth graders laughed cruelly, when the leader suddenly hit the ground with a cry. Matt, rushing forward, had tackled him and soon a fight had started.
After a few minutes the leader scrambled to his feet. "Here, take the stupid shell!" he cried, throwing it into the sand at Matt's feet. "Let's get outta here!"
The group scrambled off. Matt sighed, brushed of his hands, bent down and retrieved the shell. Then he turned to his brother, still sitting in the sand and crying. "There now." he soothed, holding the token out. "I got your shell back, see? It's okay…"
T.K. sniffed, took the shell, then gazed sadly at the rubble that had been his sand castle. "Don't you worry." Matt assured, smoothing the sand out. "We'll rebuild it, you'll see. It'll be better than ever!"
T.K. nodded, smiling a bit, then pointed at Matt's hand. "Hey." he said quietly. "What's that?"
Matt cocked his head, then looked into the sand. Something there was showing out, a dark, dark, dark black. He dug it out, and held it up to be an identical shell. In fact, it was the same shell. It had simply broken at the joint.
"Wow…" T.K. whispered, tears gone. "So cool…"
Matt contemplated a moment, then leaned forward. "I'll tell you what, T.K." he said. "I'll keep this half, and you keep the other. That way, even if mom and dad do get divorced, and we have to live away from each other, we'll remember that I promise to take you back here someday. Alright?"
T.K.'s eyes sparkled happier as they started to rebuild his castle. "Really, Matt?" he asked, holding out his half. "You promise?"
"Yeah." Matt agreed, connecting the shells. "I promise."
The two worked in silent a bit, fixing the castle, until T.K. spoke again. "Hey Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"You're the bestest big brother."
Matt sighed, shaking his head as he put the shell back in its place and slide the box back on the shelf. "Yeah…" he muttered savagely under his breath, kicking the wall. "So if I'm such a great brother, why couldn't I save him?"
There was a knock at the door. "Yeah, come in!" Matt called, pulling his shirt on.
His mother opened the door. "You've got some visitors."
Davis and Ken appeared behind her, grinning strangely. "Hey Matt." Davis grinned, entering in. "What's new?"
"Not much." Matt sighed, pulling himself up. "What's with you two? I'll take it you're not just here for a joyride."
"Well…" Ken glanced at Davis out of the corner of his eye. The goggle boy gave his friend a stupid, lopsided grin. "We've got a little…surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Matt cocked his head. "What?"
"You'll see." Davis grinned, pulling a bandana out of his pocket. "Put this on, we wouldn't wanna spoil it."
Before Matt could protest, he'd been blindfolded and quickly transferred into the Digital World. "What's going on?" he asked, groping around the woods as the two younger boys lead him forward. "What're you guys planning?"
"You'll see." Davis laughed again.
"Just a little further…" Ken noted.
Matt heard sounds in the distance. Voices. He recognized Kari, Yolei, Cody and the Digimon, but one voice was different. He knew it from somewhere, but he just couldn't put his finger on it…
"I still don't understand what we're waiting for…" the new voice was saying when he felt the trees part and they stepped into the clearing.
"We're here!" Davis announced.
"About time." Kari sighed. Matt heard footsteps and a moment later, Kari was patting his arm in greeting. "This is gonna be strange…" she muttered under her breath.
"What?" Matt asked, but she had moved on and turned to the other voice.
"T.K.…" Matt froze when he heard the word. Kari quickly undid his blindfold and pulled it away. "…Meet your brother."
A seventeen year old boy stared back at Matt with curious blue eyes. His hair was the same golden blonde, and just as messy. He had a full six-foot frame and a wondering expression.
Matt's eyes narrowed. "This isn't funny, guys." he growled in a low tone. "Not funny one bit."
"Funny?" Yolei asked.
"I'm not stupid." Matt stuffed his hands into his pockets. "He's…dead…Has been for years. You can't just pull some kid in who looks like 'em and make me think…"
"It's no joke, Matt." Cody put in. "Look, even Patamon recognizes him."
Matt looked back up. Patamon was indeed sitting on the boy's head, curled up. He never did that to anybody, not even Matt or Kari. T.K. had been the only one Patamon trusted or loved enough to do that…
"Then…Then…" Matt stammered. "I-If he really is…H-How come he doesn't…?"
"Recognize you?" Hawkmon put in. "His memories are missing, I'm afraid."
"Amnesia, Matt." Kari explained, tapping her head. "He hit his head in the water after you saw him disappear. All his memories are totally wiped."
Matt nodded, understanding. "So you think that me showing him around will help?" he asked slowly, glancing around at them.
Everyone nodded, except T.K. Kari started to wonder if Matt was actually happy to see his brother…nothing seamed to have changed.
"Fine." Matt looked up, trying to hide the fact that he was really overjoyed, but a smile was crossing his lips. "I'd be…glad to…"
T.K. glanced around at everyone. "Is that okay with you, T.K.?" Kari asked.
He shrugged, then nodded. "Great!" Davis clapped his hand on T.K.'s back. "We'll just leave you two alone for a while, and meet you back her tomorrow!"
The group trickled out, and Matt was left alone with his brother. The younger shifted his weight nervously, not knowing what to say.
"Okay then." Matt slide up to his side. For a moment he was tempted to through his arms around him, but recomposed himself and stuck just putting his arm over T.K.'s shoulders as they walked off. "I know just where to go…"
