Wow! A new chapter! Who'd a' thunkit, huh? Maybe I'll even get on the ball and write a new chapter of my current Invader Zim story? Y'know, when pigs fly... --Dr. X
--------------
Pokémon Alpha
by the Mysterious Dr. X
episode four
Into the Woods
Narrator: -=before we get chance to see ANYTHING at ALL, he suddenly shrieks=- PROLOGUE!!! -=at the top of his lungs=-
-=A scene then opens in Jessie and James' shared apartment in Team Rocket HQ. (With separate bedrooms, thank you very much! Keep your filthy imaginations to yourself, perverts! Sorry... I'm a little high-strung this week... -=sighs and sings=- Sometimes... -=snaps out of it=- Oh, anyway...) Jessie, James, and Meowth are all adorned with bandages and burns, albeit very, VERY minor burns and maybe 4 bandages apiece, which is odd considering that they were nearly blown off the face of the earth in the previous episode. Anyway, we don't have much time to think about this because suddenly, we hear the deep voice of Team Rocket's leader, Giovanni, booming over an intercom in the apartment...=-
Giovanni: -=sounding oddly like Darth Vader=- Jessie! James! Meowth! Come to my office, P.D.Q.!
James: "P.D.Q."?
Jessie: What does that mean?
Giovanni: Um... it means... look, I don't know. Just get in my office.
Meowth: Okay, we'll be dere in a minute. -=picks up a TV remote=- It's almost time fer "Golden Girls!"
James: -=bats his wrist and rolls his emerald-green eyes, looking extremely stupid=- That Blanche...
Giovanni: No, not "in a minute!" I mean NOW!
Jessie: But--
Giovanni: WHEN I SAY "NOW," I MEAN "NOW!" DO YOU THREE WANT TO BE GROUNDED?
All: -=hang their heads and mutter in deep, grumpy voices=- No sirrr...
-=Now we see the door of Giovanni's office. It's a typical office door with "Giovanni: Professional Villain" emblazoned on the frosted window. Darth Vader's theme from "Star Wars" is heard playing as the camera pans through the window...=-
Window: CRASH! -=breaks into a million pieces=-
-=...and into the extremely dark office where Jessie, James, and Meowth are all standing fearfully in front of Giovanni's large desk. Behind the desk, with his back turned to them all in a shamefully over-used cliché, sits Giovanni... The Big-Time Mucky-Muck of Team Rocket and stuff like that!=-
Giovanni: -=still talking like Darth Vader=- It seems there was quite the commotion downtown the other day... -=we see just the very side of Giovanni's face. Enough to see the side of his nasty smile as Jessie, James, and Meowth all gulp nervously and fidget=- Apparently, two teenagers and a pokémon were seen robbing a convenience store in broad daylight... and were later responsible for the destruction of an entire hospital...
Meowth: -=scratches one black-tipped ear in thought=- Eeeeeeyeah... Y'see, Boss, it's like dis... See, I...
Jessie: We were just...
Giovanni: -=whirls around in his seat, violently upsetting the persian pokémon on his lap (it vaguely resembles Meowth... only more like a real adult cat than a little cartoony kitten). In the dim light, not much can be gathered about Giovanni's appearance except that he seems to be in very good physical shape... and he's bald. Well, you can't win 'em all, eh?=-
Giovanni: SILENCE! Do you understand the consequences of what you've done? Because of you, the police are now scouring Viridian City for signs of Team Rocket! The reason I've told all of you NOT to commit crimes within the city is so that NO one will realize that our headquarters are here! Are you so stupid that-- -=is interrupted by James, who raises his hand with a really blank, stupid look on his face as if he's completely unaware of the fact that he's being chewed-out by one of the most ruthless mobsters in the world=- Yes, James?
James: What's wrong with your voice, sir?
Giovanni: Huh? Oh this? Heh... -=holds up a weird little microphone thing=- Eh, it's just this funny little thing I found in Spencer's the other day. Here, check this out... -=he flips a switch on the mic, then speaks into it, sounding just like Jerry Lewis=- HELLO DERE, NICE LADY! -=picks up his persian=- HELLO, MS. PURRSY! DO YOU WANNA' TALK TO GIOVANNI? HOIL!
Purrsy: -=whimpers and looks to the audience as if to say "help me"=-
Meowth: Hey! Dat's really sumptin! Can I see dat t'ing?
Giovanni: -=drops the large cat on the floor with an audible thud, then speaks like Darth Vader again while pointing wildly at Meowth=- NO, MR. PUSSYNIBBLES! YOU'RE A VERY BAD CAT! NO VOICE-TOY-MICROPHONE-THINGY FOR YOU!!!
-=Jessie and James (who's blushing a lot) giggle childishly=-
Jessie: -=snicker=- "pussynibbles..."
-=Meowth snarls at them.=-
(PS: I hate to give away my references like this, but... Meowth's name is a reference to a kind of catfood referred to in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie -"City Limits," to be exact-. It is NOT a dirty word! So don't think I'm trying to be filthy with this... unless... you think it's funnier that way. Then, by all means, think of it that way. But the point is, it's not intended to be as filthy as it sounds...)
Giovanni: -=points at Jessie and James=- Or for YOU, either! You've all done a very, very bad thing and that means... THE NOSE-IN-THE-BOOK PENALTY!
-=they all gasp=-
Jessie: NO, SIR! Not the Nose-In-The-Book penalty!
Meowth: ANYT'ING BUT DAT!!!
Giovanni: -=VERY deep and ominous now=- Yes... THAT!
James: B-but the hospital thing wasn't even our fault, Mr. Giovanni, sir! There was this kid named Ash Ketchum, see, and, and...
Jessie: Yeah! And... and he had this pikachu, see...
Giovanni: ... -=narrows his eyes (which appear as luminous slits in the darkness)=- ... Did you say... Ash... "Ketchum"...?
Meowth: Dat's whut da' kid said, Boss!
Giovanni: ... and he had... a pikachu?
Meowth: Yep! Yellow fur, pointy ears, funky tail; da' whole nine yards!
Giovanni: ... -=rubs his chin in thought=- I see.... Hmmm... -=chuckles a little=- Heh... heheheh... -=it turns into more of a cackle. We see James and Meowth look uncertainly at each other. Jessie starts to giggle with a confused look on her face. Giovanni then breaks into flat-out homocidal laughter, which triggers Jessie to lean over on the desk, cracking up and pounding her fist like she's just heard the funniest joke in the world. Meowth shrugs and rolls over on his back, arms wrapped around his sides and tumbling around in hysterics. Purrsy looks out from behind the desk, then turns her bright yellow/amber eyes to James=-
James: -=whimpers and knits his dark-blue eyebrows (which, I stated the color just because I think cartoon hair colors are neat)=- ... I'm scared, Purrsy...
Purrsy: Mrrrrrow... (Me too...)
-=The scene fades away and reopens on Ash, Misty, and Roadkill thrashing through a thick forest=-
Narrator: Now, where were we? Oh yes! In the last episode, Ash's mental instability and Team Rocket's unmitigated stupidity led to the thorough destruction of a hospital in downtown Viridian City! In order to avoid legal prosecution, or to "beat feet from the heat," as Ash put it, he and Roadkill quickly made their escape to Viridian Forest. They were followed by the quick-tempered little redhead, Misty, who set a new goal in her life to make Ash pay for the death of her beloved bicycle. And now, our three heroes are deep in the forest, on their way to the next step of their pokémon journey. Let's watch, won't we?
Roadkill: -=swatting at tree branches while sitting on Ash's head=- Cha, Pika... Pikachu cha pika pikachu? (So, Ash... when we get to Pewter City, what do you say we try blowing up TWO hospitals?)
Ash: -=also swatting at branches and whatnot=- Okay, okay, Roadkill! I didn't mean to blow everything up! You can quit teasing me now...
Roadkill: Pichu... (I'm not kidding. It was fun. I thrive on destruction...)
Misty: -=trailing behind them, also swatting like mad (okay, you all get the hint that they're in the thick forest. No reason to keep saying they're swatting at branches)=- Urgh... I hate forests... Ash, you dummy! If you hadn't completely trashed that hospital, we wouldn't have to be trailing through here...
Dexter: -=speaking up from Ash's pocket=- You don't have to be following us anyway...
Ash: Yeah, no one invited you, Missy...
Misty: GRRRR... -=rips a whole, thick branch off of an extremely healthy tree in her anger and brains Ash with it repeatedly (Roadkill leaps away just in time)=- My name's not "Missy," it's "MISTY!" Get it RIGHT, you little dingus! -=looms over the now very-crumpled and battered Ash, breathing heavily and wielding the branch like a deranged cave-dweller=-
Ash: -=twitch twitch=- Is that you, Grandma? Head toward the light? Okay...
Misty: And the reason I'm still following you, Dexter... -=tosses the branch behind her back as if it was no more than a pencil=- ...is because Ash wrecked my brand-new bike and I'm not letting him off that easily!
Narrator: I believe I've already explained all of that...
-=Misty whips around and stares demonically toward the Narrator with a bloodthirsty glint in her azure eyes=-
Narrator: -=talks like Jerry Lewis=- Nevamoind!
Misty: -=huffs and kicks Ash's battered, broken body=- Come on, stupid! Get your worthless butt up and let's get going...
Ash: -=stands up and brushes himself off=- I don't see what your problem is, Misty... Forests are GREAT! They're a sure bet to find a LOT of pokémon and--
Misty: I don't care... -=gags and makes a disgusted face while shivering=- They're dirty and mossy... and full of bugs and... -=blinks at Ash=- Hey, weirdo... what's wrong with you now?
Ash: -=standing perfectly bolt upright with his eyes wide open, but his pupils extremely small=- Poké-Senses Tingling!
Misty: -=smacks her forehead=- Oh geeze...
Ash: There must be a wild pokémon somewhere nearby! -=yanks Dexter out of his pocket and brandishes the PokéDex before him like a sword=- DEXTER! LOCATETH MINE UNWITTING PREY!!!
Dexter: Scanning... -=makes R2D2 noises for a bit while a radar grid appears on his screen=- Ah. Okay. It's a pidgey. Good choice for a beginner's pokémon. Little brown bird... sort of like an owl/sparrow/chickadee combination... standing right in front of us...
-=Misty and Ash both look down at their feet. Roadkill is having a pleasant conversation with the pidgey and sipping tea=-
Pidgey: Piirdgie... pi-pirdgie...
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pikachu... -=sips some tea=-
Misty: Well, I can see why you needed to use your PokéDex to find that, Ash... - -;
Dexter: Hey, clam up, sister! You didn't see it there either!
Ash: -=hopping up and down, from one leg to the other, like a monkey on crystal meth (and making the same noises, to boot!)=- Roadkill! What do you think you're doing???
Roadkill: -=looks up at Ash=- Pikachu pi-pika! (Sharing a cup of tea with my friend here. What's it look like? Duh...) -=looks back to the pidgey and twirls his paw by his head=- Pikachu. Pika-pichu pika... (My trainer. He's kind of an idiot, you see...)
Pidgey: -=nods=- Pirdgie... -=sips some tea (He's holding the cup with his wing. Don't ask how. I don't know. Nor do I care.)=-
Ash: -=has a really weird water-painted orangie/red background. He poses similar to the way they do on DragonBall Z when they "Level Up" or "Go Super" or... whatever the heck they do. I don't know. I don't watch the show.=- GRARRRGH! ROADKILL! I ORDER YOU TO FIGHT, AND DEFEAT, THAT PIDGEY FOR ME!
Roadkill: -=sighs and dusts off his paws=- Cha pika pikachu... (Well... sorry, buddy. Looks like we gotta' fight...)
Pidgey: -=shrugs=- Pirdgie pirrdge... (No problem. I understand.) -=winks=- Pirdgggie... (I'll make this easy...)
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pika. -=reaches out and pokes the pidgey's beak. The bird collapses=-
Ash: SING THE PRAISES OF BLIND IO! I AM VICTORIOUS! -=catches the pidgey with a pokéball. From inside, the pidgey is heard speaking in the pokémon equivalent of "Hmm... nice digs. A few paintings, some new wallpaper, and I could get used to this place..." Ash then holds the pokéball high over his head and flips his red cap around on his messy hair=- YOU ARE MINE, PIDGEY! AND, IN THE MANNER OF GIVING MY POKéMON REALLY STUPID NAMES, I NOW DUB YOU "DIRTY BIRD!"
Narrator, Misty, Dexter, "Dirty Bird," and Roadkill: ... "Dirty Bird"... ?
Ash: -=nods=- Mm-hmm. -=puts the ball in his backpack=- Now let's get going! I have to be back on the java train before nine or the clock-maker gets angry!
Misty: ... What?
Ash: -=stares with the same wide eyes, only this time going wall-eyed. He looks like he's had a lobotomy.=- Ah have no ah-deeeaaaaa.... -=Misty is heard grumbling=-
Narrator: -=as we see Misty trudging through the forest with Roadkill, dragging the now-comatose Ash behind her=- So, Ash has another pokémon! .... mmmmmyep... That's uh... well, all that really happened today. Maybe the next episode will be more interesting. I don't know. I don't care either. They don't pay me enough for this...
-=goofy cartoony "sneaking up" music plays as Team Rocket rises up from some bushes=-
James: -=narrows his eyes and speaks very dramatically=- Sleep well this night, Ash Ketchum... for it will be the last peaceful sleep you will ever know... Muwahahaha!
Meowth: -=turns his confused green/yellow gaze on him=- What da' heck are you talkin' about?
James: -=shrugs=- I dunno. It just sounded cool...
Jessie: ... pussynibbles... hehehe...
Meowth: SHADDAP!
To Be Continued...
Narrator: END!
--------------
The Final Word: Don't worry. I seem depressed in this story, but I'm not. I just thought it would be funny if I kept saying I didn't care at all about the story because... well... this chapter's really weak. Hehe. --Dr. X
--------------
Pokémon Alpha
by the Mysterious Dr. X
episode four
Into the Woods
Narrator: -=before we get chance to see ANYTHING at ALL, he suddenly shrieks=- PROLOGUE!!! -=at the top of his lungs=-
-=A scene then opens in Jessie and James' shared apartment in Team Rocket HQ. (With separate bedrooms, thank you very much! Keep your filthy imaginations to yourself, perverts! Sorry... I'm a little high-strung this week... -=sighs and sings=- Sometimes... -=snaps out of it=- Oh, anyway...) Jessie, James, and Meowth are all adorned with bandages and burns, albeit very, VERY minor burns and maybe 4 bandages apiece, which is odd considering that they were nearly blown off the face of the earth in the previous episode. Anyway, we don't have much time to think about this because suddenly, we hear the deep voice of Team Rocket's leader, Giovanni, booming over an intercom in the apartment...=-
Giovanni: -=sounding oddly like Darth Vader=- Jessie! James! Meowth! Come to my office, P.D.Q.!
James: "P.D.Q."?
Jessie: What does that mean?
Giovanni: Um... it means... look, I don't know. Just get in my office.
Meowth: Okay, we'll be dere in a minute. -=picks up a TV remote=- It's almost time fer "Golden Girls!"
James: -=bats his wrist and rolls his emerald-green eyes, looking extremely stupid=- That Blanche...
Giovanni: No, not "in a minute!" I mean NOW!
Jessie: But--
Giovanni: WHEN I SAY "NOW," I MEAN "NOW!" DO YOU THREE WANT TO BE GROUNDED?
All: -=hang their heads and mutter in deep, grumpy voices=- No sirrr...
-=Now we see the door of Giovanni's office. It's a typical office door with "Giovanni: Professional Villain" emblazoned on the frosted window. Darth Vader's theme from "Star Wars" is heard playing as the camera pans through the window...=-
Window: CRASH! -=breaks into a million pieces=-
-=...and into the extremely dark office where Jessie, James, and Meowth are all standing fearfully in front of Giovanni's large desk. Behind the desk, with his back turned to them all in a shamefully over-used cliché, sits Giovanni... The Big-Time Mucky-Muck of Team Rocket and stuff like that!=-
Giovanni: -=still talking like Darth Vader=- It seems there was quite the commotion downtown the other day... -=we see just the very side of Giovanni's face. Enough to see the side of his nasty smile as Jessie, James, and Meowth all gulp nervously and fidget=- Apparently, two teenagers and a pokémon were seen robbing a convenience store in broad daylight... and were later responsible for the destruction of an entire hospital...
Meowth: -=scratches one black-tipped ear in thought=- Eeeeeeyeah... Y'see, Boss, it's like dis... See, I...
Jessie: We were just...
Giovanni: -=whirls around in his seat, violently upsetting the persian pokémon on his lap (it vaguely resembles Meowth... only more like a real adult cat than a little cartoony kitten). In the dim light, not much can be gathered about Giovanni's appearance except that he seems to be in very good physical shape... and he's bald. Well, you can't win 'em all, eh?=-
Giovanni: SILENCE! Do you understand the consequences of what you've done? Because of you, the police are now scouring Viridian City for signs of Team Rocket! The reason I've told all of you NOT to commit crimes within the city is so that NO one will realize that our headquarters are here! Are you so stupid that-- -=is interrupted by James, who raises his hand with a really blank, stupid look on his face as if he's completely unaware of the fact that he's being chewed-out by one of the most ruthless mobsters in the world=- Yes, James?
James: What's wrong with your voice, sir?
Giovanni: Huh? Oh this? Heh... -=holds up a weird little microphone thing=- Eh, it's just this funny little thing I found in Spencer's the other day. Here, check this out... -=he flips a switch on the mic, then speaks into it, sounding just like Jerry Lewis=- HELLO DERE, NICE LADY! -=picks up his persian=- HELLO, MS. PURRSY! DO YOU WANNA' TALK TO GIOVANNI? HOIL!
Purrsy: -=whimpers and looks to the audience as if to say "help me"=-
Meowth: Hey! Dat's really sumptin! Can I see dat t'ing?
Giovanni: -=drops the large cat on the floor with an audible thud, then speaks like Darth Vader again while pointing wildly at Meowth=- NO, MR. PUSSYNIBBLES! YOU'RE A VERY BAD CAT! NO VOICE-TOY-MICROPHONE-THINGY FOR YOU!!!
-=Jessie and James (who's blushing a lot) giggle childishly=-
Jessie: -=snicker=- "pussynibbles..."
-=Meowth snarls at them.=-
(PS: I hate to give away my references like this, but... Meowth's name is a reference to a kind of catfood referred to in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie -"City Limits," to be exact-. It is NOT a dirty word! So don't think I'm trying to be filthy with this... unless... you think it's funnier that way. Then, by all means, think of it that way. But the point is, it's not intended to be as filthy as it sounds...)
Giovanni: -=points at Jessie and James=- Or for YOU, either! You've all done a very, very bad thing and that means... THE NOSE-IN-THE-BOOK PENALTY!
-=they all gasp=-
Jessie: NO, SIR! Not the Nose-In-The-Book penalty!
Meowth: ANYT'ING BUT DAT!!!
Giovanni: -=VERY deep and ominous now=- Yes... THAT!
James: B-but the hospital thing wasn't even our fault, Mr. Giovanni, sir! There was this kid named Ash Ketchum, see, and, and...
Jessie: Yeah! And... and he had this pikachu, see...
Giovanni: ... -=narrows his eyes (which appear as luminous slits in the darkness)=- ... Did you say... Ash... "Ketchum"...?
Meowth: Dat's whut da' kid said, Boss!
Giovanni: ... and he had... a pikachu?
Meowth: Yep! Yellow fur, pointy ears, funky tail; da' whole nine yards!
Giovanni: ... -=rubs his chin in thought=- I see.... Hmmm... -=chuckles a little=- Heh... heheheh... -=it turns into more of a cackle. We see James and Meowth look uncertainly at each other. Jessie starts to giggle with a confused look on her face. Giovanni then breaks into flat-out homocidal laughter, which triggers Jessie to lean over on the desk, cracking up and pounding her fist like she's just heard the funniest joke in the world. Meowth shrugs and rolls over on his back, arms wrapped around his sides and tumbling around in hysterics. Purrsy looks out from behind the desk, then turns her bright yellow/amber eyes to James=-
James: -=whimpers and knits his dark-blue eyebrows (which, I stated the color just because I think cartoon hair colors are neat)=- ... I'm scared, Purrsy...
Purrsy: Mrrrrrow... (Me too...)
-=The scene fades away and reopens on Ash, Misty, and Roadkill thrashing through a thick forest=-
Narrator: Now, where were we? Oh yes! In the last episode, Ash's mental instability and Team Rocket's unmitigated stupidity led to the thorough destruction of a hospital in downtown Viridian City! In order to avoid legal prosecution, or to "beat feet from the heat," as Ash put it, he and Roadkill quickly made their escape to Viridian Forest. They were followed by the quick-tempered little redhead, Misty, who set a new goal in her life to make Ash pay for the death of her beloved bicycle. And now, our three heroes are deep in the forest, on their way to the next step of their pokémon journey. Let's watch, won't we?
Roadkill: -=swatting at tree branches while sitting on Ash's head=- Cha, Pika... Pikachu cha pika pikachu? (So, Ash... when we get to Pewter City, what do you say we try blowing up TWO hospitals?)
Ash: -=also swatting at branches and whatnot=- Okay, okay, Roadkill! I didn't mean to blow everything up! You can quit teasing me now...
Roadkill: Pichu... (I'm not kidding. It was fun. I thrive on destruction...)
Misty: -=trailing behind them, also swatting like mad (okay, you all get the hint that they're in the thick forest. No reason to keep saying they're swatting at branches)=- Urgh... I hate forests... Ash, you dummy! If you hadn't completely trashed that hospital, we wouldn't have to be trailing through here...
Dexter: -=speaking up from Ash's pocket=- You don't have to be following us anyway...
Ash: Yeah, no one invited you, Missy...
Misty: GRRRR... -=rips a whole, thick branch off of an extremely healthy tree in her anger and brains Ash with it repeatedly (Roadkill leaps away just in time)=- My name's not "Missy," it's "MISTY!" Get it RIGHT, you little dingus! -=looms over the now very-crumpled and battered Ash, breathing heavily and wielding the branch like a deranged cave-dweller=-
Ash: -=twitch twitch=- Is that you, Grandma? Head toward the light? Okay...
Misty: And the reason I'm still following you, Dexter... -=tosses the branch behind her back as if it was no more than a pencil=- ...is because Ash wrecked my brand-new bike and I'm not letting him off that easily!
Narrator: I believe I've already explained all of that...
-=Misty whips around and stares demonically toward the Narrator with a bloodthirsty glint in her azure eyes=-
Narrator: -=talks like Jerry Lewis=- Nevamoind!
Misty: -=huffs and kicks Ash's battered, broken body=- Come on, stupid! Get your worthless butt up and let's get going...
Ash: -=stands up and brushes himself off=- I don't see what your problem is, Misty... Forests are GREAT! They're a sure bet to find a LOT of pokémon and--
Misty: I don't care... -=gags and makes a disgusted face while shivering=- They're dirty and mossy... and full of bugs and... -=blinks at Ash=- Hey, weirdo... what's wrong with you now?
Ash: -=standing perfectly bolt upright with his eyes wide open, but his pupils extremely small=- Poké-Senses Tingling!
Misty: -=smacks her forehead=- Oh geeze...
Ash: There must be a wild pokémon somewhere nearby! -=yanks Dexter out of his pocket and brandishes the PokéDex before him like a sword=- DEXTER! LOCATETH MINE UNWITTING PREY!!!
Dexter: Scanning... -=makes R2D2 noises for a bit while a radar grid appears on his screen=- Ah. Okay. It's a pidgey. Good choice for a beginner's pokémon. Little brown bird... sort of like an owl/sparrow/chickadee combination... standing right in front of us...
-=Misty and Ash both look down at their feet. Roadkill is having a pleasant conversation with the pidgey and sipping tea=-
Pidgey: Piirdgie... pi-pirdgie...
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pikachu... -=sips some tea=-
Misty: Well, I can see why you needed to use your PokéDex to find that, Ash... - -;
Dexter: Hey, clam up, sister! You didn't see it there either!
Ash: -=hopping up and down, from one leg to the other, like a monkey on crystal meth (and making the same noises, to boot!)=- Roadkill! What do you think you're doing???
Roadkill: -=looks up at Ash=- Pikachu pi-pika! (Sharing a cup of tea with my friend here. What's it look like? Duh...) -=looks back to the pidgey and twirls his paw by his head=- Pikachu. Pika-pichu pika... (My trainer. He's kind of an idiot, you see...)
Pidgey: -=nods=- Pirdgie... -=sips some tea (He's holding the cup with his wing. Don't ask how. I don't know. Nor do I care.)=-
Ash: -=has a really weird water-painted orangie/red background. He poses similar to the way they do on DragonBall Z when they "Level Up" or "Go Super" or... whatever the heck they do. I don't know. I don't watch the show.=- GRARRRGH! ROADKILL! I ORDER YOU TO FIGHT, AND DEFEAT, THAT PIDGEY FOR ME!
Roadkill: -=sighs and dusts off his paws=- Cha pika pikachu... (Well... sorry, buddy. Looks like we gotta' fight...)
Pidgey: -=shrugs=- Pirdgie pirrdge... (No problem. I understand.) -=winks=- Pirdgggie... (I'll make this easy...)
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pika. -=reaches out and pokes the pidgey's beak. The bird collapses=-
Ash: SING THE PRAISES OF BLIND IO! I AM VICTORIOUS! -=catches the pidgey with a pokéball. From inside, the pidgey is heard speaking in the pokémon equivalent of "Hmm... nice digs. A few paintings, some new wallpaper, and I could get used to this place..." Ash then holds the pokéball high over his head and flips his red cap around on his messy hair=- YOU ARE MINE, PIDGEY! AND, IN THE MANNER OF GIVING MY POKéMON REALLY STUPID NAMES, I NOW DUB YOU "DIRTY BIRD!"
Narrator, Misty, Dexter, "Dirty Bird," and Roadkill: ... "Dirty Bird"... ?
Ash: -=nods=- Mm-hmm. -=puts the ball in his backpack=- Now let's get going! I have to be back on the java train before nine or the clock-maker gets angry!
Misty: ... What?
Ash: -=stares with the same wide eyes, only this time going wall-eyed. He looks like he's had a lobotomy.=- Ah have no ah-deeeaaaaa.... -=Misty is heard grumbling=-
Narrator: -=as we see Misty trudging through the forest with Roadkill, dragging the now-comatose Ash behind her=- So, Ash has another pokémon! .... mmmmmyep... That's uh... well, all that really happened today. Maybe the next episode will be more interesting. I don't know. I don't care either. They don't pay me enough for this...
-=goofy cartoony "sneaking up" music plays as Team Rocket rises up from some bushes=-
James: -=narrows his eyes and speaks very dramatically=- Sleep well this night, Ash Ketchum... for it will be the last peaceful sleep you will ever know... Muwahahaha!
Meowth: -=turns his confused green/yellow gaze on him=- What da' heck are you talkin' about?
James: -=shrugs=- I dunno. It just sounded cool...
Jessie: ... pussynibbles... hehehe...
Meowth: SHADDAP!
To Be Continued...
Narrator: END!
--------------
The Final Word: Don't worry. I seem depressed in this story, but I'm not. I just thought it would be funny if I kept saying I didn't care at all about the story because... well... this chapter's really weak. Hehe. --Dr. X
