Okay, fair warning. There's a character in here with a REALLY strong Japanese accent. It's pretty offensive if you don't take it in the right way. I just meant it in harmless fun and I seriously don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Trust me, with this story, you're seriously going to have to take everything lightly or a lot of feelings are going to be hurt. Um, anyway... Yeah. I don't have anything against Japanese people, I just thought it'd be fun to use a really fakey accent in this episode. --Dr. X
--------------
Pokémon Alpha
by the Mysterious Dr. X
episode seven
Showdown at Pewter City
Narrator: Previously on Pokémon Alpha, our heroes and Team Rocket called a temporary truce in the interests of surviving the dangerous Viridian Forest... Well... Really it was just because the author has a weird concept of what's supposed to be funny. Anyway, Buttercup expressed his desire with the other pokémon to grow to be a beautiful butterfree. None of them were very impressed. Nonetheless, Buttercup entered the metapod (or cocoon) stage during the night... And, um... Team Rocket went off to do bad guy stuff again... And... This weird red guy hopped out at Ash and Misty and made an idiot of himself... And... Stuff... Anyway, here's Team Rocket. I need a beer.
-=Jessie, James, and Meowth are digging a big ol' stinkin' hole in the middle of the dirt path into Pewter City. Meowth looks up for a moment=-
Meowth: Is it just me, or does he always talk like dat?
Jessie: -=pops up out of the ditch=- Like what? -=wipes some sweat from her forehead and takes the chance to straighten her back (accompanied with lots of painful-sounding cracks)=-
Meowth: -=waving his paw about in the air=- Ya' know! Ova-explainin' stuff and repeatin' everyt'ing we do! As if dere's people watchin' us or sumtin!
James: -=pops up and shrugs=- Yeah, I suppose. I guess I've just gotten used to it. -=cracks his back as well. It's even more unsettling the second time=-
Meowth: Hmm... -=shrugs=- Oh well! Back ta' woik! -=yanks a pickaxe out of nowhere and hops into the hole, then starts singing horribly=- Sixteen tons... an' whaddaya' get...
Jessie and James: -=return to digging as well=- Another day older an' deeper in debt...
-=suddenly, Ash's voice is heard=-
Ash: HEY MISTY! Just WHEN are we going to get to Pewter City anyway?
Misty: -=if we could see her, she'd be surrounded in horrible, angry flames of doom=- We'll be there soon enough!
Dexter: ... I thought we just reached Pewter in the last episode?
Roadkill: Pichak. [Shut up.]
-=The heroes step into view. Ash suddenly gasps at the sight of the Pewter City sign=-
Ash: -=pointing wildly=- LAND HO! AVAST YE SLOBS!!!
Misty: Huh? -=she magically transforms from a rampaging, snarling demon to a cute little girl (but we all know the truth)=- Oh! -=innocent smile as she clasps her hands and giggles=- We're here!
Ash: -=leaps up dramatically with one fist clenched in the air=- Alright! Let's go! -=he grabs Misty's hand and zooms forward...=-
Misty: AGK!
-=...and instantly tumbles into the hole that Team Rocket was digging. Of course, it's a painfully obvious hole in the middle of the road, but our stupid heroes didn't even see it there, and our stupid villains didn't even overhear Ash and Misty screaming their heads off above 'em=-
Misty and Ash: AAAAGH! -=thud=-
Jessie, James, and Meowth: GAAAAH! -=clanking as Misty and Ash land on them=-
-=Roadkill walks into the scene, looks into the hole, shrugs, and hops in too. Now all we can see is this gaping ditch in the road and nothing else. The inability to see anyone while they're talking just gets funnier and funnier=-
Ash: Oh! Hi, guys! Where'd the omelette go?
James and Jessie: What?
Ash: Sorry. The pencil-seller probably hasn't spoken to you about it yet...
Misty: -=groans=- Look, what are you idiots doing here anyway?
Meowth: Um... We... weren't digging a hole trap to catch you guys an' steal your pikachu...
Roadkill: Pichu cha pikupachi.
-=Jessie and James gasp=-
James: Watch your language around a lady!
Jessie: Foul-mouthed little rat!
-=A slapping sound is heard. Lightning shoots out from the hole=-
Jessie: EAAAAAAARRRRGH!!! -=thud=-
James: -=squeals=- JESSIE! JESSIE, MY LOVE! SPEAK TO ME!!!
Misty: ... uh huh. So you guys actually thought we'd fall for a hole trap?
Meowth: HEY! IT'S A CLASSIC CARTOON GAG!
Dexter: Besides... we did fall for it...
Ash: I was just about to say that.
Meowth: So, um... Can we have Roadkill?
Ash: Okay, sure! No wait... No, you can't. Sorry.
Meowth: Please?
Ash: Nnnnnaaaaaahhhh... Sorry. Look, I gotta' go challenge the gymleader here and warn the mayer about the oncoming flood of muskrats, so... -=Ash climbs up out of the ditch with Roadkill on his head. Misty follows=-
Meowth: No! Wait! WAIIIIIIT!!!
-=James pops up, shaking his fist=-
James: Come back here, you fiend! You'll pay for your brutal treatment of the fair Jessica Rose!
Jessie: -=pops up, looking really spaced-out thanks to being zapped by a psychotic rat=- Don't worry, Jamesshhh... I'm sssshhhhtill good to drive... -=shakes her head=- I mean... YEAH! I demand to be treated like a lady, dammit!
-=far too quickly for us to really get a laugh out of her use of rather unlady-like language, Team Rocket leap out of the ditch and tackle Ash and Roadkill. There's a lot of scuffling around and a resulting cartoon fight-cloud from which Dexter flies out. Misty is just standing there during all of this and catches the flying PokéDex=-
Dexter: Thanks, Misty.
Misty: No problem, Dex.
-=Misty and Dexter just watch as the fightcloud tumbles around and around. Suddenly, a gruff voice with a shamefully overdone Japanese accent is heard...=-
Voice: Wercome to Pewta' City! Grey as stone it is built upon! Now get offa' my freakin' rocks!!!
-=suddenly, the fight ends and the combatants are frozen in place. James has Ash pinned to the ground. Jessie's strangling Roadkill. Ash has one hand gripping Jessie's ankle, and the other gripping Meowth's tail. Meowth... is biting his own left foot=-
James: EEEEEEEE!!! Where did that voice come from?
Meowth: You hoid it too? -=looks fearfully into James' eyes=- Good god! Da' offensive ethnic slurs must be back!!!
Misty: -=puts one hand on her hip and narrows one eye=- Excuse me?
Jessie: Oh, you see, we used to have this badly-stereotyped Italian man stalking us.
Meowth: -=the tone of his voice is that of pure fear=- Da' dude kept askin' me if I wanted a "pizza pie-a!"
-=a strong-looking Japanese man with a grey beard and hiking gear walks up to the gang and bows respectfully=-
Man: Konnichiwa! I am preased to meet you, young chirdren. My name is Frint!
Ash: Frint? -=snicker=-
Flint: What?
Dexter: You said "Frint."
Flint: No, I say "Frint."
Dexter: That's what I said: "Frint."
Flint: No, "Frint," with an L.
Ash: OH! You mean "Flint!"
Flint: Dat is what I said: "Frint."
Meowth: Whut is dis, a Pink Pantha' movie? -=Jessie whaps Meowth upside the head to shut him up=-
James: If you don't mind my saying, sir, "Flint" isn't much of a Japanese name.
Flint: Ord Japanese proverb say: "A wise man serdom speaks."
Misty: What's that mean?
Flint: It means "mind your own business!"
-=everyone nods, saying "Ohhhhhhhh..."=-
Roadkill: Pika pikachu pika?
Meowth: Hey, yeah! Whaddaya doin' hea'h anyway?
Flint: Oh yes! You are standing on my rocks!
All: -=blinkblink=- "Rocks?"
Flint: Yes! -=he points to their feet, where we can see that they are standing on a pile of rocks with a sign saying "¥5 each." Everyone hops off and looks at the rocks=- See? Five yin fo' rock! You buy?
James: -=rubs his chin=- Hmm... tempting offer... -=Jessie whaps him upside the head=- OW!
Misty: Five "yin?" Mister, this is Kanto Island, not Japan!
Flint: Rearry? ... No wonda' sares so row!
-=everyone looks at Flint and raises an eyebrow. Roadkill twirls his paw around by his head and rolls his eyes around. Meowth nods agreeingly=-
Ash: Well, it's been nice meeting you, Mr. Flint, but we have to be going! My pikachu and I are going to be the world's greatest Pokémon Team -=Flint's voice is heard saying "HAH! I'll berieve THAT when I see it!"=- and we have to go to the gym to win a badge!
Flint: OH! You ret me herlp? Pokémon started in Japan! I know rots of secrets!
-=everyone grins and starts to laugh=-
Everyone: Surrrrrre it did!
Dexter: -=snicker=- Crazy old loon...
Misty: Thanks a lot, homeless raving derelict, but I know a lot about pokémon. We'll be alright. -=she grabs Ash by the arm, who smiles at Flint as though the old guy's going to be his next victim, and waves goodbye. Roadkill follows=-
-=There's a pause while Team Rocket just stands there, oblivious to the fact that maybe they should try stealing Roadkill again.=-
James: Say, Mr. Flint? Would you be willing to part with that nice black-and-grey rock? -=Jessie grabs James by the hair and pulls him away. It looks like a 3 Stooges bit=- OW OW OW OW!!!
-=the scene fades out and then back in a moment later in front of a large building resembling a boulder (of all things). Above the front doors are the words "Pewter Gym." Ash is heard complaining as Misty walks to the scene, dragging him by the arm=-
Ash: -=flailing about like crazy=- NO! NO! I WON'T GO! THE DOUGHBOYS LIVE THERE!!! THEY KNOW MY DARK SECRET!!! -=Misty lets go as Roadkill hops onto her shoulder. Ash yanks Roadkill away from her, then marches defiantly into the gym=- Weirdo...
Misty: -=her eye is twitching as Ash walks into the gym=- Steady, Misty. Steady, girl... Wait until he pays back for the bike... -=a little devil-Misty appears on her left shoulder=-
Devil Misty: Yesssss... Yessss... And then, we shall kill him! -=cackles=- We'll make it slow... painnnnnfulllll...
-=An angel-Misty now appears=-
Angel Misty: Shame, shame! We'll have to kill him QUICKLY! The longer we delay his death, the longer we prolong all misery on this planet!
-=All three Misties nod, then the angel and devil vanish as she walks into the gym, a lead pipe raised in her hands=-
-=We now see inside the dimly-lit gym. The only light in the room comes from the still-open doorway and all that can be seen are Ash and Roadkill's silhouettes=-
Roadkill: Ka pikachee chu pika? [%@$#, who forgot to pay the light bill?]
-=Misty's silhouette is now seen looming over Ash. Her eyes glint maliciously as she raises the lead pipe. Suddenly, a spotlight beams in the end of the room. Reacting to the sudden light, Misty shrieks, then hisses and falls back into the shadows. The light then falls upon the single figure of a young Japanese man in a muscleshirt and faded green jeans with spiked hair, seated on a large rock. He leaps down dramatically -as all Japanese cartoon characters do- complete with the overdone action lines behind him. He lands kneeling on one knee and what can be seen of his squinted eyes seem to sparkle=-
Young Man: -=Without a ridiculous accent, thank the Maker=- What brings you to the Pewter City gym?
Ash: My feet. But enough about that! -=suddenly shakes the guy's hand way too vigorously=- Pleased to meet you, Mr. Brock! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town and I wanna' be the world's best pokémon trainer and you're my hero did you know that because you're so cool and you're the Pewter City gym leader and you have all those cool rock pokémon and...
Brock: Please be quiet. -=Ash shuts up as Brock rises on his feet and looks calculatingly at Roadkill=- ... You wish to win a badge from me? -=Ash nods rapidly=- I should hope you have a better pokémon than that baby pikachu. -=Roadkill growls and his fur stands up on end=- Nevertheless, as an official gymleader, it is my job to accept all challenges. If I'm too tough for you, let me know. I'd hate to really hurt your little pokémon. -=Roadkill flips Brock off. Ash sort of blinks disparagingly as Brock claps his hands and the lights shut on all over the gym, revealing an enormous, cave-like room=-
Dexter: Hey! He has the Clapper!
-=Just as he's about to say something, Brock blinks at Misty and knits his brow=-
Brock: Misty? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the g--
Misty: Mention that place and I rip your lungs out!
Brock: -=shrugs=- Fair enough... -=he then returns to his side of the gym. Ash just keeps standing in place smiling stupidly while listening to classical music in his mind=- Rocky, let him have it! -=Brock tosses a ball into the field, out of which pops a geodude: a floating rock-like creature with big muscular arms and a grumpy face=-
Ash: -=an audible record-skipping sound is heard and he snaps back into reality=- Finally! Ready to fight, Roadie?
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pika! [Sure. As long as I get to toast squinty over there...]
Ash: Alright, zap that thing with your ThunderShock! -=Roadkill nods, puts on a single white glove and a pair of shades, and scuffs his feet on the floor backwards in order to gain static. After this bad joke, he leaps up and sends an electrical bolt directly at the rock... nothing happens. Misty cackles demonically=-
Roadkill: KA!? [-=I'm not going to translate what he said. It's far too filthy=-]
Ash: Hey! I thought electricity worked well on rock!
Brock: What gave you that ridiculous idea?
Ash: Well, you know... electric things always have to be... grounded... and... boy I feel dumb...
Brock: -=nods=- You should. Rocky, MegaPunch.
Rocky: Geo--- -=raises its fist and clobbers Roadkill into the wall=-
Roadkill: PikaaaaaAAAAAA--OOF!!! -=slams into said wall, causing a pikachu-shaped crater. Everyone runs up to look=-
Misty: Roadkill, are you okay?
-=Roadkill holds out a thumbs-up and grins with only 3 teeth left in his little head. Ash flips out Dexter in hopes of a good hint=-
Ash: Dexter! What should I do?
Dexter: Oh! Fine! Ask the PokéDex now! Well, I ain't tellin' you, kid! So hah!
Ash: Dexter! No fair! -=he cries, flailing his arm around while Dexter laughs nasally, just like the Phantom of Krankor=-
Misty: Oh for pete's sake... Ash, rock pokémon are weak against water and ground attacks.
Ash: -=sniff=- But... but I don't have anything like that...
-=Misty shrugs=-
Dexter: Sucks to be you.
Brock: Any other attacks, kid?
Ash: -=grumble=- No... -=he picks up Roadkill, who is now singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in Pikachu=- You win this round, old man! But soon I'll return stronger than ever! Faster, smarter, and with a refreshing mint flavor! Come on, Road... Let us leave this place and never return... -=He starts to walk out, but Brock quickly grabs his attention. Don't worry, he gives it back a few minutes later=-
Brock: Hey... hold on... -=Ash turns around=- Hey, just to show there's no hard feelings, why don't you stay the night at my place?
Misty: Brock, are you sure about that? I mean you've got what? 20 siblings?
Brock: Twenty-three. Plus that lazy college buddy of mine, but who's counting?
Dexter: TWENTY-THREE SIBLINGS?
Brock: My parents were very loving.
Misty: Obviously...
-=Ash looks very confused and looks at Dexter for an answer=-
Ash: I don't get it, Dex. What's that got to do with anything?
Dexter: Uh... heh... Misty? ^_^;
Misty: Uh... I... um... ASK YOUR MOM!
Brock: Well how about it? You guys coming?
Misty: You bet!
Dexter: Sounds good to me.
Ash: Count me in!
Roadkill: [Why then oh why... can't... I.......?]
Narrator: -=as everyone leaves the gym=- Well, Ash has failed to defeat Brock, the first of the PokéLeague gymleaders, but he will try again. As for now, Brock has been kind enough to offer his home to the travelers for the night. Will Ash defeat Brock in their next tournament? Will we find out why Brock was so surprised to see Misty? Will Ash ask his mom what loving parents have to do with 23 kids? Tune in next time for... Pokémon Alpha!
To Be--
Voice: WAAIIIIIIT!!! -=Red Guy runs up in the black screen=-
Red: Oh hello there, friends! It's ME, -=giddy laugh=- Heh... Red... You know, no animals were hurt in the making of this film... Roadkill is perfectly alright... However... MY FEELINGS WERE HURT! Last episode was miserable! Oh sure, my entrance was okay, but then there were those BEES! Do you know how HARD it is to get that many stingers out of your BUTT? Ohhhh life's not fair! Okay, you can end now. -=insane laughter=-
To Be Continued...
Red: END!!!
--------------
Pokémon Alpha
by the Mysterious Dr. X
episode seven
Showdown at Pewter City
Narrator: Previously on Pokémon Alpha, our heroes and Team Rocket called a temporary truce in the interests of surviving the dangerous Viridian Forest... Well... Really it was just because the author has a weird concept of what's supposed to be funny. Anyway, Buttercup expressed his desire with the other pokémon to grow to be a beautiful butterfree. None of them were very impressed. Nonetheless, Buttercup entered the metapod (or cocoon) stage during the night... And, um... Team Rocket went off to do bad guy stuff again... And... This weird red guy hopped out at Ash and Misty and made an idiot of himself... And... Stuff... Anyway, here's Team Rocket. I need a beer.
-=Jessie, James, and Meowth are digging a big ol' stinkin' hole in the middle of the dirt path into Pewter City. Meowth looks up for a moment=-
Meowth: Is it just me, or does he always talk like dat?
Jessie: -=pops up out of the ditch=- Like what? -=wipes some sweat from her forehead and takes the chance to straighten her back (accompanied with lots of painful-sounding cracks)=-
Meowth: -=waving his paw about in the air=- Ya' know! Ova-explainin' stuff and repeatin' everyt'ing we do! As if dere's people watchin' us or sumtin!
James: -=pops up and shrugs=- Yeah, I suppose. I guess I've just gotten used to it. -=cracks his back as well. It's even more unsettling the second time=-
Meowth: Hmm... -=shrugs=- Oh well! Back ta' woik! -=yanks a pickaxe out of nowhere and hops into the hole, then starts singing horribly=- Sixteen tons... an' whaddaya' get...
Jessie and James: -=return to digging as well=- Another day older an' deeper in debt...
-=suddenly, Ash's voice is heard=-
Ash: HEY MISTY! Just WHEN are we going to get to Pewter City anyway?
Misty: -=if we could see her, she'd be surrounded in horrible, angry flames of doom=- We'll be there soon enough!
Dexter: ... I thought we just reached Pewter in the last episode?
Roadkill: Pichak. [Shut up.]
-=The heroes step into view. Ash suddenly gasps at the sight of the Pewter City sign=-
Ash: -=pointing wildly=- LAND HO! AVAST YE SLOBS!!!
Misty: Huh? -=she magically transforms from a rampaging, snarling demon to a cute little girl (but we all know the truth)=- Oh! -=innocent smile as she clasps her hands and giggles=- We're here!
Ash: -=leaps up dramatically with one fist clenched in the air=- Alright! Let's go! -=he grabs Misty's hand and zooms forward...=-
Misty: AGK!
-=...and instantly tumbles into the hole that Team Rocket was digging. Of course, it's a painfully obvious hole in the middle of the road, but our stupid heroes didn't even see it there, and our stupid villains didn't even overhear Ash and Misty screaming their heads off above 'em=-
Misty and Ash: AAAAGH! -=thud=-
Jessie, James, and Meowth: GAAAAH! -=clanking as Misty and Ash land on them=-
-=Roadkill walks into the scene, looks into the hole, shrugs, and hops in too. Now all we can see is this gaping ditch in the road and nothing else. The inability to see anyone while they're talking just gets funnier and funnier=-
Ash: Oh! Hi, guys! Where'd the omelette go?
James and Jessie: What?
Ash: Sorry. The pencil-seller probably hasn't spoken to you about it yet...
Misty: -=groans=- Look, what are you idiots doing here anyway?
Meowth: Um... We... weren't digging a hole trap to catch you guys an' steal your pikachu...
Roadkill: Pichu cha pikupachi.
-=Jessie and James gasp=-
James: Watch your language around a lady!
Jessie: Foul-mouthed little rat!
-=A slapping sound is heard. Lightning shoots out from the hole=-
Jessie: EAAAAAAARRRRGH!!! -=thud=-
James: -=squeals=- JESSIE! JESSIE, MY LOVE! SPEAK TO ME!!!
Misty: ... uh huh. So you guys actually thought we'd fall for a hole trap?
Meowth: HEY! IT'S A CLASSIC CARTOON GAG!
Dexter: Besides... we did fall for it...
Ash: I was just about to say that.
Meowth: So, um... Can we have Roadkill?
Ash: Okay, sure! No wait... No, you can't. Sorry.
Meowth: Please?
Ash: Nnnnnaaaaaahhhh... Sorry. Look, I gotta' go challenge the gymleader here and warn the mayer about the oncoming flood of muskrats, so... -=Ash climbs up out of the ditch with Roadkill on his head. Misty follows=-
Meowth: No! Wait! WAIIIIIIT!!!
-=James pops up, shaking his fist=-
James: Come back here, you fiend! You'll pay for your brutal treatment of the fair Jessica Rose!
Jessie: -=pops up, looking really spaced-out thanks to being zapped by a psychotic rat=- Don't worry, Jamesshhh... I'm sssshhhhtill good to drive... -=shakes her head=- I mean... YEAH! I demand to be treated like a lady, dammit!
-=far too quickly for us to really get a laugh out of her use of rather unlady-like language, Team Rocket leap out of the ditch and tackle Ash and Roadkill. There's a lot of scuffling around and a resulting cartoon fight-cloud from which Dexter flies out. Misty is just standing there during all of this and catches the flying PokéDex=-
Dexter: Thanks, Misty.
Misty: No problem, Dex.
-=Misty and Dexter just watch as the fightcloud tumbles around and around. Suddenly, a gruff voice with a shamefully overdone Japanese accent is heard...=-
Voice: Wercome to Pewta' City! Grey as stone it is built upon! Now get offa' my freakin' rocks!!!
-=suddenly, the fight ends and the combatants are frozen in place. James has Ash pinned to the ground. Jessie's strangling Roadkill. Ash has one hand gripping Jessie's ankle, and the other gripping Meowth's tail. Meowth... is biting his own left foot=-
James: EEEEEEEE!!! Where did that voice come from?
Meowth: You hoid it too? -=looks fearfully into James' eyes=- Good god! Da' offensive ethnic slurs must be back!!!
Misty: -=puts one hand on her hip and narrows one eye=- Excuse me?
Jessie: Oh, you see, we used to have this badly-stereotyped Italian man stalking us.
Meowth: -=the tone of his voice is that of pure fear=- Da' dude kept askin' me if I wanted a "pizza pie-a!"
-=a strong-looking Japanese man with a grey beard and hiking gear walks up to the gang and bows respectfully=-
Man: Konnichiwa! I am preased to meet you, young chirdren. My name is Frint!
Ash: Frint? -=snicker=-
Flint: What?
Dexter: You said "Frint."
Flint: No, I say "Frint."
Dexter: That's what I said: "Frint."
Flint: No, "Frint," with an L.
Ash: OH! You mean "Flint!"
Flint: Dat is what I said: "Frint."
Meowth: Whut is dis, a Pink Pantha' movie? -=Jessie whaps Meowth upside the head to shut him up=-
James: If you don't mind my saying, sir, "Flint" isn't much of a Japanese name.
Flint: Ord Japanese proverb say: "A wise man serdom speaks."
Misty: What's that mean?
Flint: It means "mind your own business!"
-=everyone nods, saying "Ohhhhhhhh..."=-
Roadkill: Pika pikachu pika?
Meowth: Hey, yeah! Whaddaya doin' hea'h anyway?
Flint: Oh yes! You are standing on my rocks!
All: -=blinkblink=- "Rocks?"
Flint: Yes! -=he points to their feet, where we can see that they are standing on a pile of rocks with a sign saying "¥5 each." Everyone hops off and looks at the rocks=- See? Five yin fo' rock! You buy?
James: -=rubs his chin=- Hmm... tempting offer... -=Jessie whaps him upside the head=- OW!
Misty: Five "yin?" Mister, this is Kanto Island, not Japan!
Flint: Rearry? ... No wonda' sares so row!
-=everyone looks at Flint and raises an eyebrow. Roadkill twirls his paw around by his head and rolls his eyes around. Meowth nods agreeingly=-
Ash: Well, it's been nice meeting you, Mr. Flint, but we have to be going! My pikachu and I are going to be the world's greatest Pokémon Team -=Flint's voice is heard saying "HAH! I'll berieve THAT when I see it!"=- and we have to go to the gym to win a badge!
Flint: OH! You ret me herlp? Pokémon started in Japan! I know rots of secrets!
-=everyone grins and starts to laugh=-
Everyone: Surrrrrre it did!
Dexter: -=snicker=- Crazy old loon...
Misty: Thanks a lot, homeless raving derelict, but I know a lot about pokémon. We'll be alright. -=she grabs Ash by the arm, who smiles at Flint as though the old guy's going to be his next victim, and waves goodbye. Roadkill follows=-
-=There's a pause while Team Rocket just stands there, oblivious to the fact that maybe they should try stealing Roadkill again.=-
James: Say, Mr. Flint? Would you be willing to part with that nice black-and-grey rock? -=Jessie grabs James by the hair and pulls him away. It looks like a 3 Stooges bit=- OW OW OW OW!!!
-=the scene fades out and then back in a moment later in front of a large building resembling a boulder (of all things). Above the front doors are the words "Pewter Gym." Ash is heard complaining as Misty walks to the scene, dragging him by the arm=-
Ash: -=flailing about like crazy=- NO! NO! I WON'T GO! THE DOUGHBOYS LIVE THERE!!! THEY KNOW MY DARK SECRET!!! -=Misty lets go as Roadkill hops onto her shoulder. Ash yanks Roadkill away from her, then marches defiantly into the gym=- Weirdo...
Misty: -=her eye is twitching as Ash walks into the gym=- Steady, Misty. Steady, girl... Wait until he pays back for the bike... -=a little devil-Misty appears on her left shoulder=-
Devil Misty: Yesssss... Yessss... And then, we shall kill him! -=cackles=- We'll make it slow... painnnnnfulllll...
-=An angel-Misty now appears=-
Angel Misty: Shame, shame! We'll have to kill him QUICKLY! The longer we delay his death, the longer we prolong all misery on this planet!
-=All three Misties nod, then the angel and devil vanish as she walks into the gym, a lead pipe raised in her hands=-
-=We now see inside the dimly-lit gym. The only light in the room comes from the still-open doorway and all that can be seen are Ash and Roadkill's silhouettes=-
Roadkill: Ka pikachee chu pika? [%@$#, who forgot to pay the light bill?]
-=Misty's silhouette is now seen looming over Ash. Her eyes glint maliciously as she raises the lead pipe. Suddenly, a spotlight beams in the end of the room. Reacting to the sudden light, Misty shrieks, then hisses and falls back into the shadows. The light then falls upon the single figure of a young Japanese man in a muscleshirt and faded green jeans with spiked hair, seated on a large rock. He leaps down dramatically -as all Japanese cartoon characters do- complete with the overdone action lines behind him. He lands kneeling on one knee and what can be seen of his squinted eyes seem to sparkle=-
Young Man: -=Without a ridiculous accent, thank the Maker=- What brings you to the Pewter City gym?
Ash: My feet. But enough about that! -=suddenly shakes the guy's hand way too vigorously=- Pleased to meet you, Mr. Brock! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town and I wanna' be the world's best pokémon trainer and you're my hero did you know that because you're so cool and you're the Pewter City gym leader and you have all those cool rock pokémon and...
Brock: Please be quiet. -=Ash shuts up as Brock rises on his feet and looks calculatingly at Roadkill=- ... You wish to win a badge from me? -=Ash nods rapidly=- I should hope you have a better pokémon than that baby pikachu. -=Roadkill growls and his fur stands up on end=- Nevertheless, as an official gymleader, it is my job to accept all challenges. If I'm too tough for you, let me know. I'd hate to really hurt your little pokémon. -=Roadkill flips Brock off. Ash sort of blinks disparagingly as Brock claps his hands and the lights shut on all over the gym, revealing an enormous, cave-like room=-
Dexter: Hey! He has the Clapper!
-=Just as he's about to say something, Brock blinks at Misty and knits his brow=-
Brock: Misty? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the g--
Misty: Mention that place and I rip your lungs out!
Brock: -=shrugs=- Fair enough... -=he then returns to his side of the gym. Ash just keeps standing in place smiling stupidly while listening to classical music in his mind=- Rocky, let him have it! -=Brock tosses a ball into the field, out of which pops a geodude: a floating rock-like creature with big muscular arms and a grumpy face=-
Ash: -=an audible record-skipping sound is heard and he snaps back into reality=- Finally! Ready to fight, Roadie?
Roadkill: -=nods=- Pika! [Sure. As long as I get to toast squinty over there...]
Ash: Alright, zap that thing with your ThunderShock! -=Roadkill nods, puts on a single white glove and a pair of shades, and scuffs his feet on the floor backwards in order to gain static. After this bad joke, he leaps up and sends an electrical bolt directly at the rock... nothing happens. Misty cackles demonically=-
Roadkill: KA!? [-=I'm not going to translate what he said. It's far too filthy=-]
Ash: Hey! I thought electricity worked well on rock!
Brock: What gave you that ridiculous idea?
Ash: Well, you know... electric things always have to be... grounded... and... boy I feel dumb...
Brock: -=nods=- You should. Rocky, MegaPunch.
Rocky: Geo--- -=raises its fist and clobbers Roadkill into the wall=-
Roadkill: PikaaaaaAAAAAA--OOF!!! -=slams into said wall, causing a pikachu-shaped crater. Everyone runs up to look=-
Misty: Roadkill, are you okay?
-=Roadkill holds out a thumbs-up and grins with only 3 teeth left in his little head. Ash flips out Dexter in hopes of a good hint=-
Ash: Dexter! What should I do?
Dexter: Oh! Fine! Ask the PokéDex now! Well, I ain't tellin' you, kid! So hah!
Ash: Dexter! No fair! -=he cries, flailing his arm around while Dexter laughs nasally, just like the Phantom of Krankor=-
Misty: Oh for pete's sake... Ash, rock pokémon are weak against water and ground attacks.
Ash: -=sniff=- But... but I don't have anything like that...
-=Misty shrugs=-
Dexter: Sucks to be you.
Brock: Any other attacks, kid?
Ash: -=grumble=- No... -=he picks up Roadkill, who is now singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in Pikachu=- You win this round, old man! But soon I'll return stronger than ever! Faster, smarter, and with a refreshing mint flavor! Come on, Road... Let us leave this place and never return... -=He starts to walk out, but Brock quickly grabs his attention. Don't worry, he gives it back a few minutes later=-
Brock: Hey... hold on... -=Ash turns around=- Hey, just to show there's no hard feelings, why don't you stay the night at my place?
Misty: Brock, are you sure about that? I mean you've got what? 20 siblings?
Brock: Twenty-three. Plus that lazy college buddy of mine, but who's counting?
Dexter: TWENTY-THREE SIBLINGS?
Brock: My parents were very loving.
Misty: Obviously...
-=Ash looks very confused and looks at Dexter for an answer=-
Ash: I don't get it, Dex. What's that got to do with anything?
Dexter: Uh... heh... Misty? ^_^;
Misty: Uh... I... um... ASK YOUR MOM!
Brock: Well how about it? You guys coming?
Misty: You bet!
Dexter: Sounds good to me.
Ash: Count me in!
Roadkill: [Why then oh why... can't... I.......?]
Narrator: -=as everyone leaves the gym=- Well, Ash has failed to defeat Brock, the first of the PokéLeague gymleaders, but he will try again. As for now, Brock has been kind enough to offer his home to the travelers for the night. Will Ash defeat Brock in their next tournament? Will we find out why Brock was so surprised to see Misty? Will Ash ask his mom what loving parents have to do with 23 kids? Tune in next time for... Pokémon Alpha!
To Be--
Voice: WAAIIIIIIT!!! -=Red Guy runs up in the black screen=-
Red: Oh hello there, friends! It's ME, -=giddy laugh=- Heh... Red... You know, no animals were hurt in the making of this film... Roadkill is perfectly alright... However... MY FEELINGS WERE HURT! Last episode was miserable! Oh sure, my entrance was okay, but then there were those BEES! Do you know how HARD it is to get that many stingers out of your BUTT? Ohhhh life's not fair! Okay, you can end now. -=insane laughter=-
To Be Continued...
Red: END!!!
