[Disclaimer: I do not own Lizzie McGuire, I never have and I never will unless I win the lottery.]

[A/N: Okay.even though I shouldn't be, I'm starting another story but hey! Only a little more than a month until summer vacation! And please people, read this with an open mind because it's kind of peculiar.]

[Warnings: Rated PG-13 for mild implied slash, language, drug and alcohol references and angst levels.]

Have you ever wanted to be someone so badly?

I have, I wanted to be Lizzie McGuire. Correction, I still want to be Lizzie McGuire. I love everything about her, the way she trips over random things in the hallway, the way her parents love with such compassion and her friends adore her. She may not be the best person in the world, but she's up there. I want to be admired like Lizzie is, not feared like Kate. Everyone fears Kate and they're kept in line like animals off to the slaughter house waiting for the painful death that is approaching them. Kate gives people fear, while Lizzie beams like light from a beautiful chandelier, from her hazel eyes beams happiness and perfection.

Yet some how she reminds that she's everything I'm not which is blonde (I'm a brunette naturally), perfect, loved, outgoing, and confident.

She took me under her wing; she was the one person who didn't care that I was just some insignificant seventh grader on the bottom of the food chain. Unlike everyone else she actually acknowledged me.

I was never liked that much throughout my academic career.

In elementary school I was a tattler, I often told on the other kids that were being insubordinate and bullying the smaller children. The teachers of course rewarded me with gratitude that someone had brought this to their attention and told my classmates to be more like me.

I remember this one time where I told on this girl named Olivia who had put gum in my friend Sophie's hair. Sophie didn't know who had put the gum in her hair because she hadn't realized it until recess and Olivia had put the gum in her hair during circle time. I had overheard Olivia say to a girl named Becky that she was going to put gum in Sophie's hair because everyone liked Sophie Craft because she had nice hair and if she had to get her hair cut, no one would like her anymore.

I remember running up to Mrs. Young's desk after to recess and tattling on Olivia.

"Mrs. Young! Mrs. Young," I remember squealing.

Mrs. Young was one of those twenty something teachers who didn't know jack shit about teaching and was always trying to think of new inventive methods on how to get involved with the children and making them believe that the teacher is their "friend".

"What is it Andrea," Mrs. Young asked as she tore herself away from her Glamour magazine.

"It's Andie," I sighed. "Olivia Daniels put gum in Sophie Craft's hair during circle time! I saw!"

Mrs. Young marched over to Olivia and grabbed her by the arm and led her out of the dimly lit classroom and that's the last time I saw Olivia that day, she came back the next day and was absolutely furious with me. When I was on the monkey bars during recess, she had her friend Becky push me off. I chipped a tooth but thankfully it was a baby tooth. Things started to escalate from there and it was only second grade. I was often stuffed into garbage cans during lunch time, pushed off of the playground equipment, verbally taunted, picked last for gym class, and many other forms of elementary school torture.

Then came seventh grade, I wanted seventh grade to be absolutely spectacular. I wanted to be accepted and wanted. Unfortunately though my year started off very roughly, I was snubbed by the popular eight grade queens who ruled over the population of the school with an iron, diamond studded, and perfectly manicured fist. The ringleader of them was Kate Sanders, an arrogant blonde who walked along on her long legs flipping her long, blonde curly hair that was attached to her head that was decorated with make-up products that were meant to a freak show. Her minions had the same attitude but each had their own semi-uniqueness to them even though they were thrown out of the spotlight they craved so much by Kate who was the leader of the pack who howled orders at her programmed robots who did as she pleased.

Of course though everything started to turn around when I met Lizzie. Unlike everyone else, she helped me. Her friend Miranda wanted to be a "mentor" to one of my friends. Friends? Sophie abandoned me so she wouldn't get picked on as well and moved to Toronto with her mom after her parents divorced because she didn't want to get stuck with her dad and his clueless wife named Tawny who didn't know her ass from the hole in the wall.

Lizzie was epitome of perfection and cheerfulness. As much as she thought that everyone loved Kate, she was the most prized and beautiful flower in the garden that gardener was attentive to. I was completely jealous of her; if she wasn't such a doormat she could have had the whole school at her control.

Little by little I became her.

I dyed my hair blonde exactly like hers; I had gone over her house one time and made a mental note about every article of clothing she owned when I asked her for fashion tips. Soon enough, everyone thought I was Lizzie. I was Lizzie's "mini-me", I was Lizzie Jr. I had it absolutely made. They all treated me like I was Lizzie, if Lizzie had died, I could have replaced her, but that's really creepy even though she probably thought I was extremely creepy because I was like her clone.

Then came the landslide.

Lizzie started throwing out insults and ruthless commands but all her jumbled up words boiled down to was, "You are a crazy stalker, stop imitating me and being like me, you don't want to be like me."

Me? Andrea "Andie" Dawn Robinson a crazy stalker? I didn't peak in her windows at night or memorize her entire schedule (maybe some of it.but I'm good at things like that). I ran home and I cried my eyes out, the one person who I admired basically disowned me and I was left to fend for myself, I no longer had ties to the elite eight graders, I was now the lowest of the low.

I hated myself to greatest extent, I was no longer "Lizzie McGuire's clone", and I no longer had Lizzie McGuire to protect me and shelter to me. Now the kids could resume their hateful tactics of taunting and physically abusing me.

An idea sparked in my head in between my pitiful sobs. I could become Kate; I could be everything Lizzie wanted to be (even though she was better off not being her) and then Lizzie would idolize me like she idolized Kate.

A few days later I called up Kate with a sniffling voice; I told her the whole story but added my own little twist to it. I told her that I didn't know when Lizzie's birthday was and I wanted to give her a birthday/being a good mentor gift. I then told her that I had gone to Lizzie's house with the gift and Lizzie yelled at me and screamed at me telling her to give her back her life and to stop imitating her. I told her how much I looked up to her and still gave her the birthday gift even after the whole ordeal. I then added the thing that Kate need to her which basically was that I wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't idolized Lizzie and it would have been better if I had idolized Kate from the start. Kate told me to come right over and she taught me how to walk the walk and talk the talk. She showed me how to do my make-up like her and how to do my hair like her, things were absolutely, positively perfect.

Finally came the much awaited confrontation with Lizzie which I relished every second of everything was perfect until immediately after I was tossed away like yesterday's paper. Kate knew that all I wanted to do was show up Lizzie and that's all I was going to do. I was Kate for first period and that was it, I was supposed to eat lunch with her and minions but that didn't happen, so I say by myself and that's when the taunting began again.

That day I also went home and cried, my mom and dad weren't home, they were in the Bahamas on their second honeymoon because their first honeymoon was interrupted by my brother's birth. After crying for a few hours, I went to the drug store and got some Revlon hair dye so I could dye my hair back and not let my parents know that I had dyed my hair while they gone. My brother probably didn't notice, all he did was sit in front of the fridge and sob away because his girlfriend Natalie had dumped him for the captain of the football team, Tyler Robertson who is fairly attractive but doesn't know jack shit about anything.

As time progressed I became jealous of Lizzie and developed sort of a crush on her, she was perfect in every single way except of course she had the occasional inner ear problem but I'm sure that Cindy Crawford has probably has had her share of falls on the runway.

I am now in ninth grade and I am still a loser, just more of one right now. Everyone makes fun of me and the seniors tower over me and whisper to each other about me or maybe I'm simply just imagining things yet again as far as I know I don't take any hallucinogens and I don't hear voices in my head.

Lizzie McGuire doesn't make fun of me, instead she ignores me. She should be flattered that there is someone out there in the vast sea of nothingness that wants to be like her. So I simply don't know which is worse, being ignored or being ridiculed every single day of your extremely pathetic life. Yes, I have a pathetic life, all I do is imitate people, I become something I'm not because I'd rather be them than me.

According to my mother, "During your high school career is your time to find yourself."

Please mother, you've probably said that after you've downed a few shots while you are finding yourself the next morning with an extremely bad hangover. Yet that says a lot when you're thirty something mother is on a voyage to find herself when you and your brother are supposed to be the only rabid teenagers in the house with raging hormones and crying at really random things.

Lizzie has the perfect everything, sometimes it makes me sick that she gets by so incredibly easy.

Is it possible to have a crush on someone that makes you sick and that you're jealous of?

So here I am living an empty life with no meaning and yet I have so many questions about it. I think that when you're born you should be fully equipped with a manual that lists all the questions you may ask about your life from "Who am I going to marry?" to "Why does my neighbor fear leprechauns?"

I am completely and utterly confused.

[A/N: For people who don't know who Andie is, let me explain. Andie is the seventh grader who Lizzie was a role model for and things went screwy. Anyway, this story is quite peculiar and that's good because being peculiar rocks. This was slightly inspired by "Less than Beautiful" by a small extent but still I felt as though I should mention because it rocks. So, go read it! Anyway, please review with your thoughts, thank you!]