Valentines Day

Disclaimer: I officially disclaim what I never claimed in the first place.

Authors Note: This is very strange… it came to me at about three o clock this morning, and is bound to be beyond most peoples understanding.

WARNING! THIS CONTAINS FURBIES ARMED WITH A SALAMI LOG AND A LIGHT SABER!

(It's Valentines Day. Jenny walks into her apartment only to see Julian hanging from her ceiling by a fishing pole dressed as cupid, complete with loincloth, fluffy little wings, and a bow and arrow)

Jenny: What the hell…?

(Julian is busy shooting a couch cushion into submission with his arrows)

Julian: if you haven't noticed, I'm using that cushion for target practice. You should've seen me earlier. I shot a cat and it fell in love with a flagpole.

Jenny: I see… (Attempts to stifle laughter, but fails miserably. She bursts out laughing at the sight of Julian in a loincloth hanging from her ceiling.)

(The rest of the group walks into Jenny's apartment. Without knocking! The horror!)

(Julian promptly shoots Michael. Michael falls head-over-heels for Dee, whom he saw first)

(Audrey screams and kicks him in the shins)

Julian: Crap! (He shoots Dee)

(Dee sees Zach, and then walks drunkenly towards him, only to drool on his shoulder gazing into his eyes. Zach looks repulsed. Summer looks jealous.)

Julian: Double crap!

Jenny: What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Julian: I have to make everyone from the Games …

Jenny: Didn't catch that last part, what did you say?

Julian: I said, "…" The author didn't think of what she wanted me to say.

(Everyone glares at the author.)

Author: Oh get back to the plot!

Jenny: Plot, what plot?! You are the one who put us up to this! It's YOU'RE job to make up the plot!

Author: Oh. Well in that case… (Author types furiously)

(Julian shoots Tom.)

(Tom first sees… Julian?!)

Tom: Oh come 'ere Julikins!

Julian: I AM NOT YOUR JULIKINS!

(Tom is trying to pull Julian down from the ceiling when in walks a furby armed with a salami log and a light saber.)

(Everyone screams, Tom manages to pull Julian down from the ceiling and gets into a furious tug of war involving Julian's arms with Jenny. When the furby looks at them, they squeak and hide behind Julian, who is rubbing sore shoulders)

Jenny: AHH! It's a furby! Quick! Someone! Get the Raid!

(Summer goes and kicks the light saber out the window for some reason.)

(Everyone runs away from the furby, which means mostly hiding behind couches and, in Tom and Jenny's case, behind Julian.)

Furby: What? No one wants lunch? Oh well. I was gunna cut the salami with the light saber, you know how tough those Bob Evan's brand skins can get. Oh well. Since I can't eat my salami, I'll just have to eat one of you! Who's it gunna be?

(Everyone looks at each other, then pick up Tom and throw him at the furby, and while Tom is fight with a salami-wielding furby, they quickly throw the pair out the window.)

(Jenny wakes up in a cold sweat.)

Jenny: Oh god… No more pineapple-and-zucchini pizza before bed. Ever.

(Jenny walks into her living room to see Julian hanging from the ceiling in nothing but a loincloth, fluffy white wings and a quiver full of arrows.)

Jenny: Oh dear god…