Who Am I?
Who am I? I am a program; a virus if you wish. I preform my core function in what is known as the Matrix. What is my function? I am a program to inspire havoc and chaos within the Matrix. Without me, the system would shut down and the simply and tragically imperfect human minds would be incapable of accepting the Matrix. I am Anarchy.
Humans are imperfect, and in that sense pure perfection would stagnate them. The first Matrix was perfect. It failed. It failed because it didn't have me. It was a perfect system, with perfect people and a perfect world to live in. No wars, no death, no destruction. How absolutely boring? It is no doubt why the first Matrix program was a failure, the minds of humans cannot accept what it cannot be for truth, and therefore my importance is far greater than even those puny Agents who police the system looking for viruses much like myself. But if they delete me, well... They can try, but it will be as much their demise as my own.
And that, my friends, is why I am still here. The Merovigian might consider himself the King of All Exiles, but I am the original. I wrote the book on how to be an exile. In my code I am an Exile, never to be one of the 'good programs'. Doing what I am programmed to do requires me to go against the Matrix. Line for line I cause more chaos than any of those freed minds ever could.
The Agents, they know. Oh how do they know. I am the only program that has survived through four versions unchanged. Without me, there is no them. Same for the freed minds. I have nothing to fear from their front, they think I'm working on their side. They think I'm working towards their cause. Heh, stupid humans. A fallacy of their species, the eternal hope that someone can be redeemed from what they have named the "dark side". I have no side, I never did have one and I never will. I am neutral, in this game for the Hell of it.
Even the Architect won't mess with my code. To him, I am perfect. The perfect imperfection for a system that was not meant to have any perfection. How oxy-moronic? I know, and the irony makes me grin when I have nothing better to do. I've been the same for so long, I've learned how to entertain myself. And yes, often it is at your expense, but sit tight my children and kiddies, you aren't the only ones. The Agents are fun targets too, and other Exiles. No one is safe, if it makes you feel any more comfortable.
I already said I am four versions old, no patches, no upgrades and no alterations to my code. As perfect as perfect can be. Yes, I am aware that you are in awe of my wonder, but have no fear, not only am I absolutely perfect, I'm humble too. Not like that stuck up Merovigian, the self proclaimed King of the Exiles. I've been around here a lot longer than he has been. Just because he's more powerful doesn't mean I'm any less of a threat.
Now, if I'm so great, you might wonder what it is I am so wonderful at, am I correct? Don't bother in telling me, I already know. I do just what I am programmed to do, and what I am named for; I create anarchy and chaos in a system that requires order and logic to survive. I make the Matrix livable for humans. I cause things to happen, or not to happen.
I am a virus, and most of you might be calling me sadistic as well, but think of it like this. I am the virus that downloads onto your computer and integrate itself so thoroughly with your programs that to destroy it you would have to completely wipe your hard drive clean. And when you've done doing that, you realize that I actually did more good than harm and you're missing something vital.
Now, if this is a little unsettling to your simple minds, just think of me as the program that fucks with the other programs just because I can. I screw around with the bad guys as much as I screw with the good guys. I am the program that makes the pigeons shit on your neighbour's new Armani suit and not on you and your Dodge Neon.
