I admit that you were certainly remarkable. You DID rattle our preconceptions about things, didn't you? I always thought that Touga would never change, for instance. You would be dumbfounded to see him now, chaste and polite, of all the improbable things.
I know what miracles are now- when the rare one does occur. People generally misinterpret them. Miracles aren't the gaudy things I thought them to be. There is always a reason for whatever flamboyant spectacle occurs in the right time and way to be called a "miracle." Miracles-- the real ones, at any rate—are things that shouldn't happen. And when they do regardless of natural laws, any explanation real or imaginary… then it is a miracle. Real miracles aren't often noticed, since they can be rationalized away by any number of completely plausible theories. That they are not, in fact, adherent to those theories is generally ignored in favor of maintaining equanimity of mind.
I doubt anyone would have seen me becoming a religion professor during our high school days. A professor of French, perhaps, if a teacher at all, or of Literature- but religion? It is amazing how far we can go with the correct motivation. Desire to learn was never my strong point- that which is identified as desire was never my strong point. But excellence is a trademark of sorts for me. Religion. It challenges me the way few things today can. Have I found religion for myself? I don't know for certain. And would I share that fact if I had?
Probably not.
I think that my life satisfies me, now. I do not recall a time when I thought my life was NOT satisfactory, but in the clarity of hindisght I can identify parts that must not have been to my liking.
I said I love you to her yesterday.
And she said that she loved me as well.
I think that perhaps that was a miracle.
I hope that wherever you are... I hope for you. That is all. You deserve
at least that.
