Date: May 13
Location: Mishima Mansion
Dear Diary,
Hello again. I just came home from school and had nothing to do, so I decided to
write in here today. Sorry to say, this will be my last entry in my diary. Why?
Technology of course! Heihachi gave me a brand new laptop, so for now on,
I will record all of my diary entries in there. Plus, it is also harder for Miharu to
find or get into! For once I'll have my privacy! Oh, did I tell you? That day we
all went to the amusement park, I dropped my diary and Jin picked it up! It's
a good thing I have fast reflexes! He didn't even have time to notice what it was.
Thank goodness! Can you imagine how it would be if he found it? If he even read
a page or two? What about the page I scribbled in that said "Ling Kazama" all over
a page…Ahhh! That would be total chaos on my part! I'd probably be the laughing
stalk of the school if Jin were to find it, what's worse, Miharu, or even: HWOARANG!
All the letters I wrote and all the feelings I put down, all could be exposed in a matter
of minutes. That is why I HAVE to keep this private! I don't want ANYONE finding
out how I feel until I find out how I feel first. Still, even if I was sure that I was in love
with Jin, would I still tell him then? Nah. I'd be too afraid of rejection. I'm just not sure
Jin thinks of me that way. I'm pretty silly huh? One day I'm hoping Jin asks me out, the
next I'm deathly afraid of him. Sometimes I'm sure he loves me and I don't, the next
I'm not sure of my feelings for him or his towards mine. This is a strange thing for me.
I just wish I could tell someone how I feel every now and then. It would be nice to have
someone there to listen to my secrets to one day, and not utter a single syllable the next.
And that is why I have a diary. This is where I can express my thoughts and deepest feelings.
All the things that go wrong and things I would like to change, like how I feel. I just wish
I was sure of the way I felt every now and then. How do I feel now? To tell you the truth,
I miss him, a lot. Now I know he's just down stairs training, but some part of me cant stand
to be away from him. Some part of me wants to look into his beautiful eyes forever. Some
part of me wants to hold him in my arms and never let go…but then there are parts that say
to stay away. That I am only asking for heart break, or that he just would never understand,
he's not that type of guy…but then again I want to be with him. Because you see diary, some
part of me DOES love him, I only wish it was all of me. Because, I do, I know I do! I just
wish there was some way I could let him know….you see! There it is again! There's a little
voice inside of me saying " Don't go there Ling!" Then why do I still think about him this
way?! This part of me that hates, this part of me that loathes, that truly and honestly hates
Jin Kazama. It isn't a big part of me, but it is a strong one. It's what's keeping me from
getting closer to Jin. And I hate it! Why can't I break away from it? Why does it control
me so much? Why? I have to get the part of me that is pure to get stronger. Another good
vs. evil. Jin once told me that good will always triumph over evil because of love. So now
I say, part of me that loves, love him more.
Love,
Ling Xiaoyu
