PART NINE

The Tale of Sir Jounouchi

High up in a tower of yet another castle, two people stood talking. Or rather, one was talking, the other was trying not the listen.

One day, lad, this will all be yours!

The one he was addressing was pale, with poofy blue hair and a pink shirt. What, the curtains?

No, not the curtains, lad. All you can see, the whole of this disgusting fetid swampland! All these hills and valleys...it'll all be yours!

But Father, I don't want any of that. the poofy-haired one replied.

The boy's father leaned in close. Now, listen here, lad. I built this castle from scratch. They all laughed at me, building a castle in a swamp. The first castle sank into the swamp. So, I built another one. That one sank into the swamp, too. The third one burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one-it stayed, and that's what you'll be getting, lad, the strongest, best castle.

But I don't want any of that.

Oh? The what do you want?

The boy turned toward the window. I'd rather...just...sing!

Stop that, stop that. the boy's father stopped the song before it could begin. You're not breaking into song while I'm here. And don't start that psychic act either. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Japan.

I don't want land. the boy whined.

Don't want land? Listen. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get. the older man was getting angry.

But I don't like her.

Don't like her? What's not to like? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge...tracts of land...

The boy sighed. I know, but I want a girl with a certain...special...something... Opening chords sounded through the air.

Cut that out! Cut it out! Look, you're marrying the princess whether you like it or not, so get used to the idea. He stormed out. Make sure the prince doesn't leave this room untill I get back.

The guard stared ahead stupidly. Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.

The boy's father paused. No, no, until I come and get him. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.

And you'll come get him.



The guard hiccuped. We don't need to do anything except keep him from entering the room.

No, no, leaving the room.

The guard paused. What if we-

The boy's father got in the gaurd's face. Look. It's quite simple. You just stay her, and stop him from leaving the room. Got it?

The guard looked at him. Can he leave the room with us?

No. Just keep him in here, and don't let him start that psychic act, either.



Is that clear? asked the exasperated king.

Oh, quite clear.

He started to leave the room. Musical chords started up, and he jumped back in. None of that! And get that suit on!

But Father!

Shut up, you!

His father gone, the boy glanced at the guards. They were oblivious. I predict that I'll get out of here. he said confidently, and scribbled a note on a scrap of paper. The guards smiled and looked on. He tied it to an arrow and quickly shot it out of the window.


Sir Jounouchi and his faithful attendant rode through the forest.

Good one, Mako!

Thank you, sir! The beefy retainer skipped happily over logs, until an arrow came streaking out of the sky and thunked into his chest. He stared at it stupidly for a moment, then fell over.Message for you, sir... he gasped.

Mako! Speak to me! Sir Jounouchi tore the note off of the arrow and read it.

To whoever finds this note:

I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the Tall and Unsinkable Tower of Swamp Castle.

Jounouchi cried out and leapt to his feet. At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Head of Exodia! Oh, brave Mako, you shall not have died in vain!

Mako looked up weakly. I'm not quite dead, sir.

Oh. Well you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain-

I think I might pull through, sir.

Whatever. You stay here, I'll answer the call for distress. With that, Sir Jounouchi rode off to find the damsel.


The guests exchanged greetings and looked on as the princess giggled. The guards outside were wreathed with flowers. They saw a man running towards them from across the field, but just grinned and payed it no heed.

The first guard looked back up, and saw the man in exactly the same spot as before. He smiled, and greeted another guest.

The second guard looked up, and lo! The man was still in the same spot. Is he even moving at all? he asked.

I don't-aaaaaggh! The man ran up suddenly from his place across the field and stabbed the first guard. He proceeded into the main hall, picking off everyone who stood in his way.

Jounouchi burst in on the room of the and started a magnificent speech. O, fair one, I am Sir Jounouchi, and I-oh, terribly sorry. He stopped as he realized that this fair one was a guy.

The boy's eyes lit up with joy. You got my note! You've come to rescue me! He bounced around happily.

I knew someone would! I knew someone would... Music started up, and the boy's father burst into the room.

None of that, none of that! Who are you? He glared accusingly at Jounouchi.

Esper Roba sputtered, I'm your son!

The boy's father waved him off. No, not you.

Jounouchi stood up proudly. I am Sir Jounouchi. Sir.

Esper jumped in. He's come to rescue me, Father.

Well now, let's not jump to conclusions. Jounouchi said.

You killed those guards? They cost fifty bucks each, you know! The knig was outraged.

Jounouchi looked down. Um, terribly sorry, I can explain everything, you know.

Esper threw some knotted sheets out the window. Hurry, Sir Jounouchi! He began to climb down.

You killed eight guests!

Well, uh, I, you see, I thought your son was a chick.

The king looked at him thoughtfully. I can understand that. But you killed the bride's father!

Jounouchi mumbled, I didn't mean to.

Not mean to?! You stuck your flaming sword through his chest!

Jounouchi spared a glance at his sword. It wasn't aflame. How odd. Oh dear, is he alright?

You kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!

Well, I can explain. I wsa in the forest, riding north from Domino, when this note attached to an arrow flew out of the sky and-

The king interrupted. You're from Domino?

Esper called from the window. Hurry, Sir Jounouchi!

The king continued. Good country, that. Have a drink?

I am ready!

I apologize. I sometimes get carried away. Jounouchi moved to the door as the king cut the sheets. A muffled came from the direction of the window.

It's quite alright. Don't worry about it.