Mid Story Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is not mine. Got it?
PART TEN
Down in the main hall, various guests were crying and tending to others' wounds. The king and Jounouchi came down the stairs.
As you can see, this is the main hall. We're going to have all of this knocked through and made into one big, uh, living room.
There he is! A guest screamed, pointing at Jounouchi.
Oh, bloody hell. The king groaned.
Jounouchi's eyes brightened and he leaped forward, skewering another man.
Stop it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Please! The king grabbed Sir Jounouchi's arm before he could kill anyone else.
Jounouchi backed off. Sorry, sorry. There, you see what I mean? I just get carried away. I'm really most awfully sorry. Sorry! Sorry, everyone.
He's killed the best man! Another guest yelled. The rest of them cried out along with him.
The king intervened himself between the murderous guests and Sir Jounouchi. Hold it! Hold it! Please, hold it! This is Sir Jounouchi from the Arena of Domino, a very brave and influential duelist, and my special guest here today.
Jounouchi waved.
He killed my auntie!
The clamor resumed.
The king held up his hands. Please! Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful (cough) bond of holy wedlock. He paused. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Esper, has just fallen to his death.
The crowd gasped. Oh no! Oh no!
Holding up his hands, the king continued. But I don't want to think I've lost a son so much as...gained a daughter. The crowd applauded. For, since the tragic death of her father-
He's not quite dead! One of the guests kneeling beside the supposedly dead man shouted.
The king rolled his eyes. Since the near fatal wounding of her father-
He's getting better!
For, since her own father, who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him.
Oh, he's died!
And I want his only daughter to look upon me as her old dad, in a very real, and legally binding sense. The crowd applauded once more. And I feel the merger-er, union between the Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Jounouchi of Domino-
Jounouchi started.
A guest stood up and pointed. Look! The dead Prince!
The crowd gasped. Ooh, the dead Prince!
Mako, having entered with the Prince commented, He's not quite dead.
Esper Roba shuffled forward. No, I feel much better.
The king stared at him in outrage. You fell out of the Tall Tower, you creep!
Esper looked up at him matter-of-factly. No, I was saved at the last minute.
Esper was lifted onto a table. Well, I'll tell you.
No! Not like that! Not like that! Stop it! Esper's father waved his arms frantically as music filled the air.
The guests began to sing. He's going to tell, he's going to tell!
Shut uuuuuup!
He's going to tell...
Shut up!
He's going to tell...
Shut up!
He's going to tell...
Not like that!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
Mako waved to Sir Jounouchi. Quickly, sir!
He's going to tell...
He waved again. Come this way!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell...
Jounouchi shouted across the noise. No! It's not right for my idiom!
He's going to tell...
I must escape more... He paused, and sighed.
He's going to tell...
Dramatically, sir? Mako offered.
Jounouchi brightened. He unwrapped a rope from the wall, stood on the edge of the stairs, and swung towards the door.
He's going to tell...
Jounouchi swung back and forth. Uum...could somebody give me a push?
King Yugi rode into a town where an old crone beat a cat on the side of her hovel.
Old crone! He called. She stopped beating the cat. Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a Man Eater Plant?
She stared up at him. Not a long ways to look. Who sent you?
Yugi glanced at Sir Honda. The Knights Who Say
The crone threw up her hands. Aargh! No! Never! We have no Man Eater Pants here!
Yugi stood tall...ish. If you do not tell us where we can buy a Man Eater Plant, my friend and I will say...we will say...'niisama.'
Agh! Do your worst! She spat.
Very well! Yugi grew taller, and his voice deepened. If you will not assist us voluntarily...niisama!
No! Never! No Man Eater Plants!
Yelled Yami...er, Yugi.
The crone coughed.
Honda joined in.
Yugi stopped him. No, no, no, no...
Said Honda.
No, it's not that, it's
No, no-'niisama.' You're not doing it properly.
Yugi smiled. That's it, you've got it.
In unison, they turned to the cowering crone and renewed their attack.
Niisama! Niisama!
A man in purple armor drove up his cart as they were saying niisama' to the old crone. Are you saying niisama' to that old woman?
Yugi mumbled, Erm, yes.
The man shook his head. Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can niisama' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design Man Eater Plants are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Yugi jumped. Did you say Man Eater Plants?'
The purple-armored man looked down his nose at him. Yes. Man Eater Plants are my trade. I am a gardener. My name-title-is Dark the Gardener. I arrange, design, and sell Man Eater Plants.
Honda turned back to the old lady.
Yugi grabbed his arm. No! No, no, no! No!
_________
A/N: I would just like to thank all of my lovely reviewers. Thank you!
Responses:
CPegasus: Python ROCKS. I am continuing. But you could probably tell that. ^_~
Eriko Myoujin: I love that movie too. Thanks for the review!
kuroi Bara no Twilight: Thank you! I was aiming to make it original and entertaining.
aibyouka: I'd make him do something else, too. ~_^ Thanks for the reviews!
Kaiba: Heeeyyy...
The Mad Psyentist/Korogi Nagis: I look forward to writing the ending.
Blue Lagoon Loon: I haven't seen it. *sniff* So hadn't thought about it. Now, though, I might go in search of that movie...
Aithril the Elf-Maiden: A thousand apologies. I'll have to fix that. At some point. *Is very busy with lots of other things* I'm glad you like it!
Ly the werewolf: Thank you! I'm here to provide much needed humor to people's days. *Bows*
