Chapter 6:

The following weekend, Kay, Jessica and Charity headed home. Grace wanted to plan the wedding more, especially the bridesmaids' gowns and such. As much as it hurt, Kay had chosen to agree when her mother had called her, asking if she'd come.

Grace had been all ready to protest, because she assumed Kay would say no, just like she had done last time. But her daughter had surprised her.

"Ok. I'll come," she had said.

"Really?" her mother had answered, shocked to the core.

"Yeah," Kay had sighed.

Grace could feel the pain her daughter was going through, even if it was just through her tone of voice through the telephone. But she was so proud of her.

Kay, Jessica and Charity met up at the Bennett's sometime Saturday afternoon. Jessica gave her sister a hug, even though in the back of her mind, she was wondering what had really brought Kay here. Charity was being very nice to Kay, nicer than usual.

A little bit later, Grace sat down with them to discuss the wedding.

"So Jessica is going to be the maid of honor?" she asked.

"Yes," Charity said. "At least I hope she still will be."

Jessica and Grace laughed, as did Charity. They turned to look at Kay, who forced out a small smile and a chuckle in response.

"So how many bridesmaids will you have and who will they be?" Jessica asked.

"Well I was hoping Kay, Paloma, Theresa, Whitney, and Simone would all be bridesmaids." She sent a hopeful look Kay's way.

Kay shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Umm, yeah," she nodded slowly. "Do you have the dresses yet?"

"Yeah," Charity replied. "They're hanging from my closet door in my old room. Do you want to try it on?"

"Ok," answered Kay. "I'll be back."

Grace, Charity and Jessica nodded.

Kay went upstairs into Charity's room. She eyed the satiny light green dress. Taking it off the hanger, she unzipped the back. She was just about to peel off her clothes to try it on, but not before her gaze fell on another dress. Charity's wedding dress.

Kay dropped the dress she was holding. It fell to her feet. She couldn't take her eyes off of the beautiful white dress in front of her. It was a rich shade of white, and had a plunging neckline. It was beaded all throughout the front. That dress could have been hers, she knew. In her heart, she felt it should have been hers. She couldn't help but break down in tears at the thought.

Just then her mother knocked on the door and let herself in. She saw Kay eyeing Charity's wedding gown, and she could tell exactly what her daughter was thinking.

"Oh, umm, I'm not ready yet," Kay mumbled, picking up the fallen dress, and wiping her stray tears quickly away.

"Oh, that's not why I'm here," Grace said.

Kay heaved out a sigh. She could feel another lecture coming on.

"I'm proud of you," her mother said, surprising her.

"What?" Kay asked, a look of confusion on her face. "Why?"

"Because you're here. I'm sure it hurts very much. But I'm glad you've given up on Miguel. He's not right for you."

"What?" Kay asked, baffled. "I haven't given up on Miguel!"

"You...you haven't?" Grace stammered.

"No. I still love him." Kay looked at her mother pointedly.

"Then what are you doing here?" she couldn't help ask. If Kay still loved Miguel, what was she doing here helping her cousin plan her marriage to him?

Kay shook her head in bewilderment. Here she was trying to get through it all and be a better person, but just by saying that she still loved Miguel, her mother automatically assumed that she was still planning on breaking him and Charity up. "I don't even know," she sneered angrily, throwing her arms up in exasperation before storming out.

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"Kat?" came a voice right outside Kay's old bedroom in the Bennett's home.

"Where?" she asked back, not looking up from the book she was reading on her bed.

"No, not a cat," came the reply again. "I meant you. Kat." Miguel opened the door to Kay's room, and walked towards her.

She looked up at him oddly. He hadn't called her Kat in a long time. Heck, he hadn't even spoken properly to her in a long time.

"What do you want?" she asked quietly. Having just gone through a small argument with her mother, Kay was in no mood to have another one. Especially not with Miguel.

"I wanted to talk to you," he responded, sitting down next to her on the bed.

She dropped the book she was holding, making sure to put the bookmark inside before closing it. "So talk," she said, folding her arms.

"I don't know how to begin, Kat," he admitted.

"Just tell me what you're thinking," she suggested.

"I guess what I'm thinking, umm feeling is regret. Regret for the way I've treated you lately. I haven't been a good friend to you, but you know why."

Kay nodded, looking away. "I know," she whispered quietly.

"I'm not blaming you, Kat," Miguel quickly put in. "We both could have handled the situation better. But we didn't. That's why I'm here. To make up for my mistakes. I want us to be friends again. Like we used to be."

Kay looked back at the love of her life, the tears already forming in her eyes. She didn't want to be friends, but she knew that that was all she would get out of him. Friendship. Choking back a sob, she nodded.

"Great," he smiled. Reaching over, he wrapped his arms around her for a quick moment, before letting go and standing up.

She saw him walk towards the door.

"So that's it?" Kay cried out to his back.

He turned around. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"We're friends now. That doesn't mean that I still don't love you!"

"Kat..." Miguel's voice trailed off. He thought that everything had been cleared between them. But it was evident that they had more messes to clean up amongst themselves.

"What, Miguel, huh?" Kay was almost shouting. She was shaking from her anger. How dare he come here, act all nice, pledge friendship to her again, and once he received it, assume everything to be fine! He had only come here for his own sake. Just to close out the awkwardness between us. After all, he's getting married in 2 weeks, and he doesn't want anything to lessen his good spirits, Kay thought to herself with animosity.

Miguel sighed. "Kat please just give this up. You and I will never be. I know that and so do you, deep down."

"But I love you. That I know deep down." Her chin quivered as she supressed the sob that was rising in her throat.

He walked over and sat down on her bed again. "Kat," he pleaded with his eyes, taking her hands in his.

She didn't respond.

"We were only meant to be friends. That's how we began and that's how we will end. Please just let it go. Come on, I'm not worth it."

"That's a lie," Kay cried out, her tone coming out harsher than expected. "You are my world. I love you so much. Oh, Miguel," she let out labored patterns of breath, as her fingers traveled to his face, resting over the counters of his lips.

"Kat, don't," Miguel said firmly, pushing her hand away. "Can't you just accept this?! That's all I'm asking you to do."

"I have accepted this!" she hissed. "Can't you see? I'm here aren't I?" she pointed to where she was, referring to the house. "I'm helping your fiancée out with the wedding plans. It's killing me but I'm doing it. It's funny how such a joyous occasion is sucking the life out of me."

Miguel leaned back away from her and heaved out a half-sigh. It was true - this wedding was killing Kay emotionally. And there was no solution.

"Thank you, Kat," he whispered after a minute of silence.

She knew what he was thankful for, and as much as it hurt her to finally accept him with Charity, it made her smile a bit inside seeming him so happy.

He leaned closer, drawing her into a bear hug. They sat like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, but then again, not having to. They understood what the other was now thinking, more than words could ever explain.

{a/n: thnx 4 all of the reviews. u guys r great. 3 more chapters left, that is if i decide not to change some things by then. in response to midnightdimund's questions, yes i am making some of the stuff here in connection with my college experience. and yes english 255 is a real course, at my university anyway. lol. keep reading. next up: the wedding!}