A.N: Well, I'd like to start off by thanking Brooke for giving me the great idea for the new name of this fic- the more I thought about it the more I liked it! So, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BROOKE!!! I guess that I'd like to go on and thank those who reviewed; it's great to know that some people like my work…
[ I changed things a little since some people had a little trouble realizing that I never end a chapter in the middle of a conversation!!! So, no, Tristan is not about to tell Rory that he loves her right at the beginning of this chapter, and she's not going to reject him. Also, I know that some people think that some of the conversations are unnecessary but this whole fic is written from Tristan's prospective so I guess that every little thing is important to his character, hence the telling his readers every little detail he has about Rory. But then again, I might be wrong. No one forced you to read it if you don't want to.] And now that I'm done with that I just wanted to wish you all to enjoy this one…
Don't judge a book by its cover
Chapter 9:
Well, since I've heard so many complaints from my parents about not being the perfect son they wanted, I decided to be a nice boy this time and give them some time to come up with what to say as soon as I'd walk into the house. I parked the car in front of my house, making sure that someone noticed my return. I sat quietly for a few minutes and then got out of the car and walked into the house, smiling to myself at the knowledge of what was about to be said in the next few minutes. What can I say; I have the most predictable father in the world, I knew exactly how things were about to go. I threw my car keys on the little table at the entrance and walked into the living room, knowing that both my parents will be waiting there for me.
"Where have you been, young man?" I heard my father's voice as soon as I set foot into the living room. 'Young man' I hated him so much when he called me like that- I had a name, and if I'm not mistaken he was the one who gave it to me.
"Hi, dad, it's nice to see you too." I couldn't help but smile, knowing that I was getting on his nerves.
"Where on earth have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you." my mother looked at me, concern in her eyes.
"Well, apparently you haven't looked for me everywhere or you'd have found me by now. But it's not like you really care." Saying that I turned to look at my father, "Why don't you just give me my plane ticket so that I could be on my way now?"
He walked over to a desk at the end of the room and took my ticket out of one of the drawers. "All the details you need to know are written inside." He said as he came closer and handed it to me.
"Yeah," I answered, taking the ticket from his hand and looking at the details, "I'm sorry to end this bonding session but I really have to go and pick up my bag from where I was staying." I gave him a smile that I knew he hated, "Don't worry, I won't miss it this time." I walked over to my mother and gave her a hug, not sure when would be the next time I'll see her again. With one last smile I started walking in the front door's direction, "I'll see you when I see you." I said, mostly to my father.
You might think that it was harsh but my father and I don't really have a relationship, we just disappoint each other whenever we can. And as you've probably noticed by now, I'm much better at playing games than he is.
I had about a couple of hours until I had to be at the airport, so I drove back to Stars Hollow and checked out of the 'Independence inn'. With one last look at the place I left again to Hartford, in the airport's direction, hoping that I'd be able to find something to do there until I had to leave.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So what now?" John asked as he came and sat in front of me.
"I really don't know." I chuckled at the thought of how my father looked when I came back home, "I just know that I won't be coming home anytime soon."
"And when did that become funny?" Matt asked.
"It didn't." I explained, "I just thought about the looks my father sent my way when I came back that night." I laughed again, "He even used the 'Young man' thing…"
Don chuckled himself, "Your father does that too? I thought my father was the only one…" he looked at me, laughter in his eyes.
"Well, I guess not."
"So, how's Rory?" Matt asked.
"Better."
"Then how come you look like someone just died?" John asked, "I mean, I didn't get the impression that what you father had said bothered you in any way."
I turned my head to look at him, "It didn't."
"Then why are you looking that way?"
"Rory and I had another one of those fights." I answered.
"What happened?" Don asked.
"I told her."
"Told her what?" John asked surprised.
"That I wasn't supposed to be there."
"You asshole, you made it seem as if you told her that you're in love with her and she told you to get lost in response." John said, almost kicking my ass.
"I'm not in love with her."
"Oh, sure you're not. That's the reason you look the way you do..." Don said, smirking.
"I just hate fighting with my friends." I explained.
"And that's what Rory is…" John said sarcastically, not believing a word coming out of my mouth.
"I care about her a lot, but I'm not in love with her."
"So how did she react to what you told her?" Matt asked.
"She said that I should let my parents send me back." I answered, feeling bad again.
"And that pissed you off…" Don said understandingly.
"Yeah, it did. I don't understand her. I mean, I thought that she wanted me around but as soon as I told her everything she just wanted me to go back. Why did she act that way?" I just couldn't understand.
"You're looking at it the wrong way." Matt said, "I think that she realized that going back would be the only way to get you out of the mess you got yourself into. I don't think that she thought about herself at the moment, she just wanted you to stay out of trouble." He looked at me, waiting for me to think about what he'd just said.
I was quiet for a while, thinking about it, "I don't think so."
"He's probably right." John said, referring to Matt's words, "She probably didn't want you to get into trouble just because of her."
"I don't care." I finally said, "I hate her."
"And that's why you're so frustrated with the fact that she asked you to go back…" Don said.
"She shouldn't have asked me to do it as my friend."
"Okay, just answer me this, do you think that the two of you are real friends?" John asked.
"I'm not so sure anymore."
"Think about it this way," he said, waiting for me to look at him. When I did he continued to talk, "running away from this place would get you into trouble, right?"
I looked at John and nodded yes to his question.
"Okay, so why can't you see that she, as your friend who cares about you, only wanted you to stay out of trouble and that's why she asked you to go back?"
"It's not like it mattered at the moment. I already did it, so why not make the best of it?" I looked at him again, "Besides, I was already in trouble, it's not like going back a few days later would have changed anything."
"You don't get it, do you?" Matt interrupted, "You being in trouble was on her conscious, she blamed herself for it."
"Why would she do that?" I didn't understand.
"Because her mother called you and told you that she needed you. And that's why you left and came to see her in the first place." Don explained.
"And she doesn't see it, so she asked me to leave. Because she doesn't care."
"Damn it, Tristan, get it through to your head, she did it because she cares about you." John yelled, annoyed at me like hell.
"Probably more than she should." Don said quietly.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, getting angry by the second.
"I understand that you don't want to feel the way you do. Because guys like you hate feeling weak, and you think that by caring for her the way you do you're putting yourself at some risk. But-"
"That's irrelevant." I said, cutting him off.
"No, it's not. You're trying to find something that will change your feelings towards her and you know it."
"But I can't. Because she's fucking perfect." I burst out, hating the way I was feeling at the moment.
"Cool down." John said quietly.
"How can I 'cool down' after everything that's happened?" I asked, frustrated.
"What happened?" Matt asked.
"Well, I sort of stormed away angry, telling her that she knew where to find me if she wanted to talk. But I also gave her the idea that I wasn't going to call her or contact her. So I don't think she's going to call anytime soon."
"Okay, so you know what you have to do. Call her." Don said.
"No."
"Why not?" Matt asked.
"What does it matter? I'm not calling her."
"Call her." John said firmly.
"No."
"You're so stupid sometimes." Don said.
"I'm not calling her. She knows where to find me if she still wants me around."
"But you just said that you made it clear to her that you didn't want her to want you around." Don said, looking at me annoyed.
"Well, before I left she told me that she wishes that I'd stay…"
"And you understood that she didn't want you to stay from what she said? Wow, you do have selective hearing, you should really see someone about that." John looked at me as if I were a little, stupid boy.
"Well, she still asked me to leave."
"And she also said that she wishes that you'd stay!"
"It doesn't change the fact that-"
"Shut up." John cut me off, "Just call her already."
"I can't."
"What now?" Don asked, even more annoyed.
"I don't have phone privileges."
"And if you had, would you have called her?" Matt asked.
"No."
"There's no reasoning with him. We should just kick his ass." John said loudly.
"Well, it doesn't matter." I said, "I'm not calling her, and that's the end of it."
"Well, when are you getting your phone privileges back?" Don asked.
"Tomorrow."
"So call her then."
"No. Just drop it."
"Oh, I get it. It's an honor thing." John said, sounding calmer.
"Think what you want to think."
"You're gonna end whatever you two had going on because you think that you'll keep your dignity that way?"
"It's not an honor thing." I said, exasperated.
"Then what is it?"
I was really sick of talking about it, I just wanted them to leave me alone for the time being, "Is it just me, or do we sound like a bunch of girls?"
"Fine. Avoid your feelings." John said, a disappointed look in his eyes. I sighed in relief at his words, and then he continued, "It won't make them go away, though…"
"Yeah, well, I'll deal with it alone."
"I think that now would be a good time to hit the sack." He gave me another look, one that I haven't seen before from him, and then climbed onto his bed, "As long as you don't come crying when you realize that I was right, I don't care."
"I don't cry." I said lamely at the lack of something else to say.
Don snorted at my words; "Because you're a big boy…" he gave me a knowing smile, letting me know that I couldn't be more obvious, "Good night."
"You should really call her." Matt said as he walked over to the light switch and turned the light off.
"I'll think about it." I said. I stayed put for a few more minutes, just reflecting all that's been said that evening, before I got up and got into bed myself. I laid in bed for a bout an hour later, still awake, thinking. It was weird to think that I'd find someone to talk to in a place like that; it was weird that someone actually cared. I thought about John's words again, I somehow got the impression that he knew exactly what he was talking about. It was like he'd gone through the same thing at some point in his life and he knew, from experience, what I should do.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"How was your night?" The counselor asked me.
"I don't know, I slept through most of it…"
"You could have asked." She suddenly turned serious.
"Why bother? It was obvious that the answer would have been no."
"You should have asked me." she insisted.
"Why would you help me?"
"Because that's what I'm here for." She smiled softly saying that.
"Yeah, but you're not my father, are you? I'm not welcomed at home."
"Why did you leave, anyway?"
I looked at her for a second, not trusting her one bit, "Oh my god, look at the time. I really have to get to class, I don't want to be late." Saying that I smiled her way and started walking away.
"Well, you know where my office is…" She said loudly.
"Yeah." I said to myself, "I don't think you'll get to see me there."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You've been like this for a week. Call her." I looked up to see Matt in front of me.
"Call who?" I was sitting in the library, holding a book in my hand.
"Stop playing dumb. I know you and I've learned that you can't live without at least hearing her voice every once in a while. Especially when things ended the way they did." He came and sat in front of me.
"That's not it. I got a C+ in History."
"Right..." He looked at me skeptically.
"You say that I act like a dumb guy, and yet, you treat me like one."
"That's because sometimes you are."
"Thanks."
"Because you let your stupid pride ruin your life." He explained.
I ran my hand through my hair, "I don't want to get into this again."
"Fine. But just look at yourself."
"Okay, I give up, I'll call her. Happy?"
"Yes."
"Next year." I murmured.
"Don't let your pride get in the way."
"If she hasn't called yet she doesn't care. And I don't either."
"Look, you should at least get closure."
"I don't want closure, I want to be miserable."
"Then the least you could do is to tell her how you feel."
"She knows how I feel."
"She has to hear it from you."
"Then she can call."
"And so can you."
"But I don't want to." I was starting to get frustrated with our conversation, "What the hell do you want from me?"
"Nothing." He got up and started walking in the door's direction, "Nothing."
I stared at the door after he left for a few more moments. I knew that on some level he was right, but I wasn't ready to face anything yet, I needed some time to think. I sat in the library for about an hour later, just thinking about the situation I got myself into.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"How are you?" Josh asked me, "We haven't heard from you in over a week."
"Yeah, I've been busy here."
"Doing what?" he inquired.
"Studying."
"Right." He said understandingly, "Rory's been like that too. She won't leave her books for a moment."
"Isn't it finals time?"
"Yeah, but she's never studied all day long. She even refused to go with us to have some coffee yesterday afternoon under the pretence of having to study."
"Well, she probably wants to get good grades. And as for the coffee, she has plenty of it at home and I'm sure that that's the only reason."
"Are you even listening to yourself?"
"Yeah, why do you ask?"
"Because you just told me that you haven't called because you were busy studying."
"I was."
"If I recall correctly, not so long ago you said that it was too easy for you."
"It got harder."
"Jane's here."
"Then I guess I'm gonna hang up now so that you two could have some quality time together." I said, a little annoyed.
"And she wants to talk to you."
I didn't say anything in response.
"Hey, Tristan, how are you?" I heard Jane's voice.
"I'm fine."
"Why'd you leave without saying goodbye?"
"I was in a hurry."
"To where?"
"By the time I picked up my stuff from the inn and got back to Hartford I had about an hour to get to the airport and make all the arrangements left."
"And why'd you leave, anyway?"
"What does it matter?" I asked, confused.
"Well, I've heard Rory's side of the story. And since I'm friends with both you and Rory I thought that it would only be fair if I heard what you have to say." she explained.
"She wanted me to leave." I said coldly.
"That's not what she said." She commented.
"Well, what can I say? She's lying."
"She's mad at you."
"Why?" it surprised me.
"Because all she did was to care about you…"
"Well, then I guess we disagree on that one."
"Don't forget that by coming back here you got yourself into trouble."
"And?"
"And it was on her account."
"No it wasn't."
"Then why did you come?"
"I made her a promise that if she needed me I'd come and help her."
"You could have done it by phone…"
"Well, someone told me that she wasn't taking any calls!"
"Tristan, you have to give her a call."
"Why can't she call?"
"Because you gave her the idea that you didn't want her to!"
I shut up, knowing that she was right.
"She misses you, okay?"
"That's just too bad…"
"So, what, that's it? You're going to end it because you're too proud to call?"
"She can call me."
"She's right. You are impossible!" her voice was full of exasperation.
"And I'm very proud of being like that."
"Take Josh, I can't reason with you."
"Have a nice day…"
I moment later I heard Josh' voice, "I think she's right."
"How wonderful." I said sarcastically.
"Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you tomorrow or something." More than happy that the conversation was over I quickly hung up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Who were you talking to?" I heard a voice, coming from behind me.
Recognizing the voice I turned around to look at the counselor, "When are you going to get it already? I don't want your help so just leave me alone."
"I just wanted to tell you that while you were talking on the phone a Miss Gilmore called and asked to speak with you."
"Rory?" I asked hopefully.
"No, Lorelai."
"Thanks." I said, disappointed.
"I had a talk with one of your friends."
"Isn't that lovely?"
"Your friend Matt asked me to talk some sense into you."
"About what?"
"You're stubborn." She pointed out.
"Well, I find it to be a good quality in a person."
"And sometimes it is." She looked at me for a second, "But not when it's hurting you."
"It's not hurting me."
"You shouldn't use stubbornness as a defense."
"I'm not."
"Well, then I guess you'll have no problem calling Lorelai. She actually said that it's urgent. So if I were you I'd rush to the phone."
"Well, you're not me."
"I was also told that you have some trouble dealing with your feelings…"
"Look, I want to use the phone."
"Go right ahead."
I looked in the door's direction, "I need some privacy to do that."
"Right. I'm leaving, don't worry." With one last smile she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her on her way out.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Hello." I heard Lorelai's voice on the other end of the line.
"What?" I asked, knowing that she recognized my voice.
"Tristan, how are you?"
"I'm good. Now what do you want?"
"You took something that didn't belong to you."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"My daughter's smile."
"That's the reason you called?"
"Her condition's even worse than it was before you came."
"Well, I don't have it. Maybe she left it on the bus."
"I bet that you took hers and left yours here, and you couldn't understand why 'your' smile wouldn't work."
"She took mine first."
"Then come here and get it back."
"I can't." I said coldly.
"Your father is going to hear a piece of my mind."
"I'll mail it to her." I said, wanting to end the conversation as soon as possible.
"You can do it by phone. It's quicker."
"No I can't."
"Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you, she won't talk to me. But I know that she took it pretty hard."
I didn't know what to say to that so I kept my quiet.
"I need to see her smiling, okay?"
I stayed quiet, thinking.
"I don't know why, but I think that she might have feelings for you…"
"I don't think lying is the answer." I said quietly.
"Then how come you both feel the same crappy way?"
"Why do you think that I feel like crap?"
"Because Jane was here."
"I'm going to kill her." I murmured, mostly to myself.
"Or you could use the energy to talk to Rory…"
"And that would make all of you leave me alone, for good?"
"I promise."
"And by all of you I also mean Jane and Josh."
"I figured that much…"
"Just making sure."
"Yes, that would make all of us leave you alone."
I thought about it for a moment, "Put her on the phone." I finally said.
"She's not home."
"Where is she, then?"
"At Lane's."
"Okay, so when is she going to be home?"
"At eight or so."
"Fine. I'll call at eight."
"Thank you." she said softly.
"Just make sure she's home. I'm not calling again."
"Then we won't get off your back."
"Just make sure she's home." I repeated.
"I will."
"Okay then, I guess we're done for now." I said, feeling relieved that the conversation was finally over.
"Yes."
"Bye." Not waiting for a response from her I hung up.
It was the best solution for the whole situation. I'd get my closure and by doing so I'd also get everyone off my back. The problem was that even if I did have the courage to tell her that I wanted her to stay away I knew that I'd hurt her. And I didn't want that to happen. I knew that in the end one of us would get hurt, I wanted more and she couldn't give it to me at the moment. And it was too painful for me to be around her, and to know that. All I knew at the moment was that I had to put an end to it. I had to stay away. Even if it would hurt the two of us for a while…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It rang for the sixth time and still no answer. I took deep breath, trying to calm myself down before all the courage I'd mustered disappeared. I was nervous about what I was about to say to her, I still haven't worked it all out yet. But I was hoping that things wouldn't go that bad. I was afraid that there would be no answer and that all my stressing was for nothing but then, as if it were a sign, I heard her voice, "Hello." It lacked the energy and cheerfulness that I had come to know and love so much and at that moment I made up my mind. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt her.
"Hey. I missed you."
"Tristan, hey." She said, her voice a bit more cheery.
"How are you?" I asked, glad to hear her voice.
"Much better now that you've called. I was afraid that you'd never call."
"I had some issues to work out."
"I'm so sorry for telling you to leave. I didn't mean it that way."
"I know. It just annoyed me, I thought that you weren't on my side."
"I am on your side. If you stayed any longer your father would have killed you and I didn't want that to happen."
"Then why didn't you explain yourself?"
"Because you didn't let me." she laughed, "How much trouble are you in, anyway?"
"No trouble, actually."
"How did that happen?"
"I have no idea."
"That's good."
"That I have no idea?" I teased.
"No." she laughed again, "That you didn't get into any trouble."
I smiled, "I'm sorry too. I should have listened to you."
"There's nothing to be sorry about."
"So, Josh tells me that you're studying full time…" I changed the subject.
"I needed something to keep me busy."
"I know what you mean."
"I just got the impression that you didn't want me to call." She said quietly.
"And I was too proud to call…"
"But you did." She was quiet for a moment, "We're okay now, right?"
"Yeah, we're cool."
"Good."
"Yes, it is."
"I'm smiling right now."
"So am I."
"I wish you were here."
"You're not the only one." I answered quietly.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"You had enough on your mind."
"You know, the whole friends thing doesn't work if you refuse to tell me anything."
"Well, I just told you that I missed you…"
"But I already knew that."
"I see that your ego got bigger." I teased.
She laughed, "It's your affect on me."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"What?" She asked.
"I can't believe that it took me over a week to call you."
"I know. I was wondering about that, too."
I smiled, "Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, you just love me. And you can't function without me. And you most definitely can't live without me…" she started laughing.
I smiled to myself. It was so great to hear her voice, "So, tell me, what's new?"
"I don't know. But once I do, I'll let you know."
I smiled again, "Okay."
"You're smiling, aren't you?"
"Yeah." The smile grew even bigger.
"So how are things at North Carolina?"
"The same. The counselor won't leave me alone; the guys are acting as they usually do. Though, they did get on my nerves a lot this passing week but that doesn't really matter. And you know, my grades are the same, I keep getting A's."
"Oh, I just remembered, mom got me a new shirt."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"You wanted to know what's new."
"Right, I wasn't talking about your clothes."
"So?"
"I'm not getting into this with you. Do you have anything else that's new?"
"My neighbors got another cat…"
"You know, someone should make a TV series about your life, it's fascinating."
"Not funny."
"I think it is."
"Yeah, but you also think that I'm crazy. You're not always right."
I started laughing.
"Stop laughing at me!"
"Don't wanna…" I teased.
"You're mean." She whined.
"No, I'm not."
"I so hate you right now."
"Yeah, keep telling that to yourself. It might work someday…"
"You're not nice." She whined again.
"When am I ever nice, Rory?"
"I don't know." she said in a whining voice, "But how about starting right now?"
"I'll pass."
"Two can play that game." she warned.
"Oh, please do."
"Well, Mr. Dugrey, why don't you tell the viewers something about yourself, we don't want any mystery left…"
"Fine. I'll stop."
"I thought that you wanted to play."
"I changed my mind."
She laughed, "Are you sure?"
"So, how's school?"
She laughed again, "Well, I still learn new things and Paris is her usual self. So I guess that there's nothing to tell. Plus, I'm sure that Josh already told you everything there is to know, he's more updated than I am…"
"True. So, what did you do today?"
"I was at Lane's."
"And what did you two do?"
"Well, you know about her closet, the one where she hides all her normal stuff, right?" she asked, not expecting an answer, "Well, she got a new CD with all sorts of weird songs and we sat there the entire afternoon and just listened to it. Plus, we talked about her new boyfriend but I don't think I should talk to you about that so…"
"Yeah, I get it. Don't worry."
"But there were actually a couple of good songs in that CD, remind me to borrow it from her when you're around, I want you to listen to it."
"So Lane has a boyfriend…"
"You better keep your mouth shut about it. If her mother finds out that she's seeing someone behind her back she's going to kill her."
"Don't worry, I won't say a word. Though, I don't see how saying something in here about it could get to her mother."
"Well, her mother hears everything." She said, her words lacking any logic.
"And what about you?"
"Well, my mother, like me, only hears what she wants to hear so you don't have to be worried about that."
I laughed, "I was talking about the whole boyfriend department."
"What about that department?"
"Is there anyone new there?"
She was quiet for a moment, "No."
"Really?"
"Well, there might be someone. But I'm not sure yet how I feel about him…"
"Who is he?" I barely got the words out.
"He's just some guy I know." I could hear in her voice that she wasn't comfortable talking about it.
"Are you going to make a move?"
"Umm, no. I don't think so."
Thank god, "Why not?"
"He's not interested."
"Why do you think that?"
"He told me."
"That he doesn't want you?"
"No, that he wants another girl." she was quiet for a moment, "Tristan, can you drop it for now? I don't really want to talk about it."
"Okay. But do you at least know who this girl is?"
"No. I didn't ask."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just drop it, okay?"
"He's stupid if he doesn't want you." I said, meaning every word.
"I'm just not his type…" she said in a shaky voice.
"Are you sure that you're okay?" I asked, worried.
"I'm fine, I just don't want to talk about it now."
"Okay."
"So how are things with your girl?" she asked softly.
"She doesn't want me either. She has feelings for some other guy."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well, I'm strong. I can handle it."
"Maybe that's the reason we get along so well, we're both losers. No offence…"
"None taken." I sighed, "I guess that on some level I deserve it."
"But I don't."
I smiled at her whining tone, "True."
"And just so you know, no one deserves it."
"How very nice of you to point out."
"Okay, you really have to talk to your father." She said, changing the subject.
"Don't go there."
"But you have to come back to senior year…"
"We'll see how things go."
"You have to."
"I know that you're in love with me and all that, but I'm only a phone call away."
She ignored my words, "I'll help you with school, and we can hang out together so that way you'll stay out of trouble. Just ask your father, tell him that I'm Emily and Richard Gilmore's granddaughter."
"Give him a few weeks to calm down, okay?"
"Okay. But then you're talking to him."
"Just give him some time to cool off."
"And I'm not in love with you."
"Keep lying to yourself, Gilmore."
"I should really go. It's getting late and I'm not done with my homework yet."
"I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay."
"Have a good night."
She chuckled, "You too."
"I'm glad I called." I said seriously.
"So am I."
"Okay then, bye."
"Bye." And with that she hung up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I walked into our room seeing John and Don busy, trying to make Matt cave in. they stopped what they were doing as soon as the noticed me, and looked at me for a moment before John smirked my way as he spoke, "Look at our young Dugrey, all happy and content. There's no doubt here, he definitely had a talk with Rory."
"Yeah, he's just glowing." Don added jokingly.
"So, like, tell me," Matt said in a high pitched tone, smiling, "How do you get your skin to look like that?"
"Fine, I don't care, laugh all you want."
"You should see yourself…" Don said, smiling.
"I already know that I look good. You don't have to tell me."
"Look at that gorgeous smile, I'm melting." John said, trying his best to do a girl's voice.
"At least there's a smile, he's been down all week." Don pointed out.
"So, how's Gilmore?" John asked with a knowing smile.
"She's fine."
"And you?" Matt asked.
"I'm not complaining."
Don smirked, "Yeah, that's an understatement."
"Just admit it, Dugrey." John looked at me, trying to hide his smile.
"Admit what?"
"That you have feelings for Gilmore."
"We're friends, I care about her."
"No, I'm talking about feelings, about the fact that you're in love with her."
"No, I'm not."
"It's okay if you are. She actually sounds pretty nice." Matt said.
"We're just friends."
"And you just love that, don't you?" John smiled.
"Leave him alone." Don came to my defense. Or so I thought, "Maybe he can't remember but a guy doesn't kiss a girl three times if he doesn't have feelings for her."
"What are you trying to prove, that I care? Because I already told you that I do."
He smirked, "Yeah, but you said that you care about her as a friend. Friends don't kiss one another the way you kissed her."
"Fine, I have feelings for her. Now will you leave me alone?"
"I actually have a better idea, why don't I just kick your ass?" John said moving in my direction, a big smile spread on his face.
"You make it sound like a great thing to do." Don said as he jumped at me.
"Yeah." Matt said, joining the other two.
"Just watch the hair…" I joked.
"Where did your smile go?" Matt asked, looking my way.
It was just a regular evening; we were sitting in our room. Don was smoking and looking out the window while the rest of us did something else. I was currently staring at the ceiling, "It's around." I said, turning to look at him.
"Why?" Don asked, putting his cigarette out and throwing it out the window.
"She's got a new guy." I said bitterly.
"Ouch." John said.
"Do you know who it is?" Matt asked.
"No. But it's pretty obvious that it's not me."
"I think that you should tell her." Don said.
"Tell her what?" I turned to look at him expectantly.
"How you feel."
"And then she'll reject me and avoid me. And I won't even have her friendship."
Silence was the only response I got…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So, why are you calling exactly?" I asked, annoyed.
"I'm your mother, I have the right to talk to my son from time to time."
"Okay, you're talking to me. What do you want?"
"I wanted to know how you were…"
"I'm fine, mom. I just love this place." I said sarcastically.
"Actually, I've spoken to your father about that matter."
"And what did he have to say?"
"Well, as you probably know he's still mad about what you did, but he's agreed to let you come back home. We've talked about it and we both have some terms before we let you come back."
"That's great. So, tell me the terms."
"You know what we want, you'd have to keep your grades up and be friends with the right people. You must stop getting into trouble and you have to show us some maturity. You have to be a responsibly man."
"Well, who do you consider as 'the right people'?" I asked.
"Oh, you know, Josh Langman is a very nice boy and so is his girlfriend. They are wonderful kids and their parents couldn't be more proud."
"Mom, you've heard me talk about Josh my entire life. He's one of my best friends. And as for Jane, his girlfriend, she is nice, but we're already friends and you know that so why are you even talking to me about it?"
"Yes, but you also have other friends. Ones that are a bad influence on you."
"If you're talking about Duncan and Bowman I assure you that I'm not friends with them anymore."
"We'll be keeping our eyes on you."
"I didn't think otherwise."
"I'll make the arrangements."
"Yeah, okay."
"And I'll see you soon."
"How soon?" I asked.
"At the end of this semester."
"Yeah, sure, I'll see you then."
"Don't do anything stupid."
"I won't."
"All right, then, have a nice evening."
"You too." I cleared my throat, "Bye." With that I hung up.
As much as it made me happy to go back something felt very wrong inside of me. I knew that I was leaving while the others stayed right there. I also knew that going back to the hypocrisy of Hartford wasn't going to be any good for me. It took out a whole different Tristan, a side of me that I hated so much. Knowing myself I feared that everything was about to change. Here, in North Carolina, I could be who I wanted to be, but back in Hartford things were different. And it scared me to think that the guy that I've become, a better guy dare I say, a different one, would not fit the society I was going back to. I had the feeling that it was all going to change. And in all honesty, there were many things that I wanted to stay as they were at the moment. Most importantly, I feared that I would change again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
