CAPTAIN'S looooog: stardate: 2732: We have (dp) FIGURED OOOOOOOOUUT (dp) what is (dp) TERRORIZING (dp) the countryside. It is (dp) giant penguins (dp) We have gone (dp) to get (dp) Ensign Gracie and (dp) hopefully Redshirt Roper (dp) and also (dp) to warn the native....

They walked to the town quickly. "Uh, Captain, shouldn't we run if this is so important?" Roper asked.

"Shut up, Redshirt Roper. (dp) I'm the Captain here."

"Captain...Perhaps we should run to warn the townspeople of the horrible, advancing alien penguins, sir," Gracie spoke up.

"Good idea (dp) Ensign (dp) Let's run."

Gracie flashed a smile at Roper and took off running. The others followed.

When they arrived at the village everyone was worshipping their god who was a little crispy but still tender on the inside.

They walked into the worshipping building and sat in spinny chairs next to Sulu who, with glee obvious on his face, was spinning in one of the chairs.

Kirk looked at all the beautiful hippy girls and decided to strike his 'sexy pose'.

The head hippy jumped out of his chair and rushed up to Kirk, "You have broken one of our oldest laws and have angered the Almighty Spinny Chair, man. You must fight me to save you life and the lives of your crew, dude."

"His crew?! What did we do?!" Ensign Gracie jumped to her feet and yelled.

"I really don't know. It just sounds cool and I'm really high. I need something to do," he shrugged.

"Oh. Ok. Take Roper first." She pushed Roper toward the hippy.

"Hey! uh...hi?"

"Fine! (dp) I will (dp) FIIIIIGHT you."

They walked into a large fighting circle and struck fighting poses.. "I'll referee!"Gracie yelled, "Ready? Fight!"

Before anyone could strike a blow, Kirk's shirt ripped exposing his chest and one arm.

Everyone did one of those anime sweatdrop/facefault things (including the lauge eyes and feet in the air).

"Ok, hippy (dp) let's fight," Kirk said.

But the hippy was on the ground twitching, still in the anime-facefault-position.

"Huh..." Kirk's communicator cackled, "Kirk (dp) here."

Captain! Scotty's voice boomed, making everyone cover their ears and back away from the communicator, I've fixed the engines while ya've been doune there! Also the transporter, the turbolifts, the leaky faucet, the burnt out lightbulb, the highpitched squeek of your command chair and the coffee maker! I can beam you all up now if ya want!

"Well (dp) Scotty, we're (dp) IN the middle of some (dp) IMPORTANT-"

Gracie ran up and grabbed the communicator, rolling her eyes, "Yes! Beam us up Scotty!"

They shimmered out of existence and back onto Enterprise.

"Ahhhhh! Ewewewewewewew!!" Gracie started jumping up and down in disgust, shielding her eyes from the horrid sight.

Everyone else groaned and covered their eyes.

"I'M BLIND! MY EYES!!" Gracie fell to her knees screaming.

"Very funny, (dp) Scotty. Now (dp) BEAM UUUUP (dp) my clothes," Kirk put his hands on his hips in what he thought was a meanicing pose. This only made it worse.

"Ah! Cover up! Cover up!"

Scotty laughed evilly and beamed up Kirk's clothes. As soon as he put them on they suddenly burst into flames. He screamed like a 7 year old girl and ran in small circles.

"Johnsen!"

Oops...