Sonnets of Life Part 4

Disclaimers in Part 1


Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tir'd;
But then begins a journey in my head
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts--from far where I abide--
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see:
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel, hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.
Lo, thus by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.
--Sonnet 27


Tuesday, 5 November 2002
Chegwidden Residence
McLean, VA
0500 ZULU

"NO!"

AJ Chegwidden bolted upright in bed, sweat covering his body. That was the most realistic nightmare he had had in a long time. He thought back to the last part of it, and shuddered.

He had dreamt that Mac was dying in his arms. 'God, I've never had a nightmare that felt so real! It was as if it were truly happening!' He could feel everything, see everything, hear everything that occurred. He could hear Mac's last shaky breath; feel her grow cold in his arms. The worst part was the feeling of helplessness. He couldn't do anything to stop it. He couldn't move, couldn't even breathe.

He couldn't fall back to sleep, so he decided to get a drink, then return to bed. He padded out to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.

He sat for over an hour, trying to convince his mind that it was time to sleep.

He was shaken from his thoughts by a ringing in his ears. Wait, that's not my ears... that's the telephone! He was suddenly gripped by a feeling of dread. Phone calls after midnight were rarely good news.

"Chegwidden," he barked as he answered the phone.

"Admiral Chegwidden?"

"Speaking," he said impatiently.

"Admiral, this is Lieutenant Wight over at Bethesda Naval Hospital. We have an officer of yours, a Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie, in the OR, and I thought you would want to know, sir."

'Oh, my God! Sarah!' "What... what happened, Lieutenant?"

"I don't have all of the details, sir; all I know is that she took a bullet to the chest. Our best surgeon is in there with her right now."

"I'm on my way."




Tuesday, 5 November 2002
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, MD
0715 ZULU

AJ walked into the waiting room of the OR. Unfortunately, the first person he spotted was Clayton Webb, pacing back and forth. Seeing red, AJ stalked up to Webb, grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him against the wall.

"What the hell have you done this time, you son of a bitch!? You said that this was supposed to be a simple assignment. Only observation, no getting shot! Well, what the hell happened?" AJ was about to haul off and break Webb's nose again, only to see that he had been beaten to it.

Sturgis came up behind AJ and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Admiral, with all due respect, sir, perhaps Mr. Webb could explain better if you weren't cutting off his air supply."

AJ released Webb, who sank to the ground, rubbing his throat. "It was supposed to be simple. Believe me, I knew nothing about this."

AJ snorted. "Believe you? Why should I believe you?"

"Because this time, he's actually telling the truth, sir."

AJ wheeled around and stared at Sturgis. "So, do you mind telling me exactly what happened to get one of my best officers shot, Commander?"

Sturgis knew that he would have to proceed with caution. When the Admiral's voice became that quiet, it was only a matter of time before the explosion.

"Sir, we got to the embassy without any problems. Mac spotted two of the men in the photographs we saw. We kept an eye on them for a while, and then we started dancing. Mac ended up dancing with one of the men. She said that she felt she should recognize him, sir. After she danced with him, I went to go get drinks. When I came back, Mac looked shocked by something." He related the conversation between Mac and himself, concluding with, "I shouldn't have let her go alone, sir." He sat heavily on a nearby chair.

AJ thought, 'No, you shouldn't have!' What he said was, "Sturgis, you couldn't have known what was about to happen. Besides, like Mac said, she is a Marine; she would've ended up taking that bullet anyway. She wouldn't want you to feel guilty about this."

Sturgis replied in a low tone, "I know, sir."

They sat in silence for a while. AJ finally said, "So, who broke Webb's nose?"

"I'm afraid that would be me, Admiral."

AJ looked at Sturgis in disbelief. "You, Commander?"

"Yeah, well, you're lucky I haven't pressed charges yet! What is it with you people and my nose, anyway?" Webb broke in indignantly.

"Extenuating circumstances, and it's just a convenient target," AJ replied.

Silence fell over the group. Each man was lost in his own memories about the Colonel whose life hung in the balance in the next room.


"There seems to be a certain tension with you two."
"Some."
"A lot."
"You're missing the point, Sturgis."
"Come on, Mac."
"I...I've never slept with him."
"Is that the problem?"
"There is no problem!"
"Then why don't you just get over it and move on?"
"It wouldn't work."
"Why?"
"Because I'm in LOVE with him. ... Did I say that? ... You have to keep that to yourself."
"OK."
"I mean it, Sturgis."
"So do I."
"You let fly our secret, and you won't have a six."
"So, this is what it's like being friends with you?"
"This is just the beginning."
"He missed the seafaring life."
"No, what he missed out on was you; and that makes him a damn fool."
"Colonel, why are you standing there?"
"Because you wanted to see me?"
"Colonel, is this another one of those... moments?"
"Yes, sir."
"You have something else, Major?"
"No, Sir. I thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to.
"What, precisely, would we talk about?"
"May I speak frankly, Sir?"
"Seems like you're bound and determined to."
"Well, I know this is difficult for you. And I thought maybe...a friendly shoulder to cry on? This isn't going well, is it?"
"You have a gift for the understatement, Major."
"Just forget about this?"
"Already have. Close the hatch on your way out."

"Thanks, Sarah."
"As you say in the Marine Corps, there's no such thing as an ex-Marine."
"Or an ex-CIA agent."
"You don't even know my size."
"36-24-26, 5.8, plus 130 pounds."
"120, thank you very much!"

They were all jerked from their respective thoughts by the sound of the door opening. They looked up to see the surgeon standing before them, waiting for their attention. AJ asked the question they were all afraid to ask.

"How is she, doctor?"

"Well, the bullet was lodged in the Colonel's left scapula, but we were able to remove it. She will have to have physical therapy to rebuild strength in that arm, though."

Sighs of relief echoed around the room. That was, until the doctor held up his hand.

"What else is there, doctor?" Sturgis asked with some trepidation.

The doctor kept his calm mask on. He hated this part of his job. "Colonel Mackenzie lost a lot of blood from both the gunshot wound, and a blow to her head. We believe she struck her head on a blunt object when she fell. We replaced the blood, but we are going to keep a close eye on her. Unfortunately, there is swelling in the area of the brain that regulates voluntary muscle control. We don't know whether or not the swelling will go down. If it doesn't, there is a high possibility the Colonel may sustain permanent brain damage, which would mean, although she would still have sensation throughout her body, she would not be able to move on her own, or at the most, have very weak movement. We are trying to be optimistic, however."

The two Naval officers and the spy stared at the surgeon in shock.

Finally, AJ found his voice, although it was hoarse with suppressed tears. "Thank you, doctor. When will we be able to see Sa--Colonel Mackenzie?"

Neither Sturgis nor Webb missed AJ's near slip. "We would prefer to restrict visitors to immediate family. If you could get in touch--"

AJ interrupted. "Colonel Mackenzie has no immediate family, doctor. JAG is her only family."

The doctor was visibly shaken by this information, as well as the realization that the imposing man seated before him was theJAG. 'Oh, sh...' "Well, then, Admiral, I suppose we could allow other visitors. The nurses on shift will need a list of approved visitors for the Colonel."

"I will take care of the arrangements, doctor. Thank you." The no-nonsense Admiral façade came down, as it always did at times like this. The doctor, knowing he was effectively dismissed, said, "Yes, sir," and returned to the operating room.