Title: Sonnets of Life Part 11

Disclaimers in Part 1


No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:
Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud:
Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,
And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.
All men make faults, and even I in this,
Authorizing thy trespass with compare,
Myself corrupting, salving thy amiss,
Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are;
For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense,
Thy adverse party is thy advocate,
And 'gainst myself a lawful plea commence:
Such civil war is in my love and hate,
That I an accessary needs must be,
To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me.
--Sonnet 35


Saturday, 9 November 2002
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, MD
2200 ZULU

Harm jumped as a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Now, Commander Rabb, it's time for our little talk," the voice of his commanding officer growled harshly.

"Y-yes, sir," Harm stuttered nervously.

"This way, Commander." AJ led Harm into an empty room. He pointed to a chair. "Sit." Harm sat.

"I have many questions for you, Commander, but I'll start with the one that's foremost in my mind: how stupid do you think I am?"

Harm swallowed. He had never heard the Admiral quite so ticked off before, even after one of his many stunts. "N-not at all, sir."

AJ smiled grimly. "Then why, pray tell, did you really believe you could hide your...relationship...with my...with Ms. Williams?"

Harm cleared his throat uncertainly. "Well, sir, I really don't know. It must have been stupidity on my own part, Admiral. I just...I guess I thought with the wrong head," he said wryly, trying to ease the tension building in the room.

"Ain't that the truth," AJ muttered under his breath. He continued in a louder voice, "Didn't you realize that Hannah and I were involved? And that Mac would kick your six from here to Russia if she ever found out what you had done?"

"Well, sir, truthfully...I really didn't think about the consequences until after...afterwards. I am a fool, sir. I should have known that you would have found out. I regret my actions. I regret the loss of your trust and respect even more. Speaking of...how did you find out, Admiral?" Harm knew it wasn't his place to ask, but his curious nature got the best of him.

AJ arched an eyebrow at him. "Private detective. You aren't as discreet as you think, Rabb. Actually, the phrase I hear most often is 'a bull in a china shop.'"

'OK, well, that explains that, but Mac...' "Sir? Do you know how Mac...Colonel Mackenzie...found out?"

AJ smirked a bit and replied, "I think you know the answer to that question, Rabb."

"Our favorite spook," Harm mumbled. He looked up. "Sir, I am truly sorry about what I've done...to both you and Mac," he said softly.

AJ wanted to turn his rage on Harm, but the younger man's visible remorse and guilt curbed that urge. He snorted inwardly as he turned toward the room's single small window. 'My god, am I actually feeling sorry for him?! Yes...I suppose I am. His thoughtless behavior has cost him the love of a good woman. Hell, not a good woman; a wonderful woman; a beautiful, compassionate, incredible woman! If I had a woman like that...especially that particular one...you can be damn sure I would do everything in my power to not screw it up!'

Harm was becoming more agitated as the minutes passed. In his experience, the longer the Admiral made one wait, the worse the explosion would be. This was going to be one hell of a butt-chewing.

"Commander, you are dismissed," AJ said quietly. Harm's eyebrows shot up in surprise. 'Dismissed? What the...is he trying to mess with my head or something?'

AJ turned and saw the disbelief on Harm's face. He chuckled dryly and said, "This isn't exactly the best place to chew you out for your behavior, now is it, Commander? It can wait until we're in a more private--and soundproofed--setting. Now, you are dismissed, Commander Rabb."

Not wishing to question his profound luck, Harm stood, came to attention, and beat a hasty path out of there.

Truthfully, AJ had no intention of hauling the Commander over the coals; he was doing a good enough job of that himself. He just wanted Harm to sweat for a few days.


Saturday, 9 November 2002
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, MD
2245 ZULU

"What are you doing out of bed, Colonel?" AJ bellowed from the doorway.

Mac's head shot up. Startled, she jumped out of the chair she had been resting in since Harm left. She tripped over a rung of the chair, nearly sprawling on the floor. Only AJ's quick reflexes kept her from that painful--not to mention humiliating--event. She ended up in AJ's arms.

When she realized what had happened, Mac's breathing quickened. She wanted nothing more than to stay right were she was, but the pain she was currently experiencing betrayed that desire. "Sir? Can you let go of my shoulder, please?"

AJ immediately shifted his hand to Mac's elbow. "Sorry 'bout that, Mac. Let's get you into bed, shall we?" Both AJ and Mac flushed at his choice of words. Fortunately...or, as both officers thought, 'unfortunately'...the moment was broken by the arrival of Mac's dinner. The nurse made enough noise for Mac and AJ to break their loose embrace by the time she came through the door.

Mac's nose wrinkled with disgust when she saw what was on the menu. "Chicken and mashed potatoes again? It was barely edible the first time around!"

"Now, Mac, you know you need to keep up your strength..."

"Yes, sir, I know." She made no move to lift her fork, however.

AJ grinned at Mac's obvious distaste for the fine dining set before her. Surprising himself, he leaned toward Mac and said conspiratorially, "Tell you what. If you eat this...and the rest of your meals while you're here...I'll take you to Callisto's when you're released."

Mac felt her heart flutter as she heard these words. 'Dinner with AJ? I'll even eat this in order to have that!' She immediately grabbed her utensil and shoveled a forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

AJ chuckled at her reaction. "Jeez, Mac, I didn't know you were that desperate for a decent meal." At her questioning look, he elaborated, "Dinner with me. I know I'm probably not the first person you'd want to spend time with..."

"Oh, but I enjoy your company, Admiral." It was Mac's turn to surprise herself. She blushed at her boldness.

AJ smiled slowly. "Well, I enjoy yours as well, Mac."

Mac finished her dinner, and asked a question that had been bugging her. "Where did Harriet and Bud go? They weren't in here when you got back, but I don't remember them leaving."

"I ran into them in the hallway. They said that you had zoned out on them, and that they didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh." She blushed. "I didn't mean to be rude."

"I'm sure they know that, Mac. We all know you have a lot on your mind right now."

'Oh, if only you knew...' She changed the subject. "So, sir, have you heard from Francesca lately?"

AJ looked at Mac oddly, but decided to go along with her...for now. They spent quite a while just talking and laughing like old friends. They were both amazed by the ease and relaxed air between them. Finally, AJ said, "Well, Mac, I better get out of here before the nurses decide to throw me out."

"I'd like to see them try that, sir." Yawning, she said, "Good night."

"Good night, Mac." Without thinking, AJ leaned over, as if to kiss Mac's cheek. Mac moved her head on the pillow to get more comfortable, and instead, their lips connected. Mac's eyes widened, then fluttered shut. She parted her lips slightly, allowing AJ access to the recesses of her mouth. He slipped his tongue past her lips, and deepened the kiss.

Mac moaned as AJ brought his hands to her face, cupping her head in his broad palms. At the sound, AJ felt as if a bucket of icy water had been dumped on his head. 'My god, what are we doing?' He jerked away. "I--I should go now," he stammered. He grabbed his jacket and bolted out the door.

Mac felt tears spring to her eyes; one trickled down her cheek. "Well, I guess I won't be seeing him again," she mumbled sardonically. She rolled toward the window and stared out at the night sky. With one hand, she knocked the book of sonnets resting on the nightstand into the wastebasket.