Author:  The Wanlorn

Title:  A World in a Grain of Sand 6/?

Summary:  This is a sequel to "Every New Beginning…"

Rating:  PG13?

Spoilers:  I honestly don't know, so beware.

Distribution:  Ask, and ye shall receive.  Take without permission, then screw the Law of Three, I will cures you with the nefarious  curse of…da da dum…WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Disclaimer:  Same as last time, so far.  Lacroix doesn't belong to me.  Obviously.

Chapter Six

(A/N:  *screams in delight* Guess what!!!!!  It's been snowing for MORE THAN TWELVE HOURS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!  I love New England!!!!!  I hope it continues throughout the weekend so we don't have school on Monday! R/R/E!)

            Lacroix swirled the bloodwine around in his goblet as he sat in his private apartment at the back of the Raven.  He had not heard from his son in almost three months.  Ever since Nicholas had drained the good doctor, he had been silent.  It was no different from the other numerous times Nicholas had stopped speaking to him, and yet…

            And yet…

            And yet, it felt different.  In the last few days, he had sensed much emotional turmoil from his son.  Most of the time, this brought Nick running to him.  But not this time.

            Lacroix sighed and took another sip of his drink.  While the good doctor had been in the hospital that day three months ago, he had decided to 'play nice' for a while.  Which, he had known, meant leaving his son *completely* alone.  No monologues, no 'interfering', nothing.  He had to let Nicholas come back on his own.

            But he had never anticipated just how lonely it was without either of his children around.

            Bah!  He finished off the glass of bloodwine.  He did not need them, he did not need anyone.  Loneliness was for the weak, the insecure.  And he was *neither*.

            Nicholas would eventually come back to him.  He always had, he always would.  He just needed time.  Lacroix was beginning to realize that perhaps he *had* been going about this all wrong.

            Time heals all wounds.

            Time returns everything to its starting point.

            Time would bring Nicholas back to the fold.

~~~~{@

            Natalie sighed contentedly as she nestled more securely in Nick's arms.  They had just gotten back from the precinct, and had sat down to watch the news together.  Thus was one of the few times she felt safe once more.  If she could be grabbed right outside work, and no one noticed anything, then something could happen *anywhere*.  Anywhere, that is, except when she was in Nick's arms.  Was she paranoid?  Yes.  But was it to be expected of her?  Once more, yes.

            Nick cuddled Natalie in his arms, resting his cheek on top of her head.  It was only when he was touching her, holding her, that he felt truly at ease.  She had been in the clutches of that sadistic freak for so short a time, but he had been helpless to go help her throughout most of it.  He had been terrified that he was going to lose her.  If he brought her across, no one would ever be able to do anything to her without her permission, ever again.  But how could he ask that of her?  How could he ask her to give up all of the sweet things in life and be condemned to eternal darkness, merely to ease his mind?

            Then came the question of how could he stand to watch the incessant creeping of Time consume her, if he did not bring her across.  What would he do if she died?  From the disease of Time or some more nefarious means, it would not matter.  She was the reason why he stayed in Toronto.  She was why his aimless wandering had ceased for the time being.  She was-

            His musings were interrupted by the presence of another vampire infringing on his consciousness.  He heard his master land under the skylight.

            "What a touching picture," Lacroix said sarcastically, as an announcement of his presence.

            "Have you ever heard of knocking?" Natalie asked, matching his tone of voice as she turned her head so she could see the ancient vampire.  The tightening of her hand on Nick's and her increased heart rate belied her calm voice.

            Nick squeezed her hand reassuringly and quickly moved so he was between his Master and Natalie.  "What do you want, Lacroix?"

            "Oh, do calm down, Nicholas.  I am not here to harm your precious Natalie," he spat.  "I was merely curious about all of the…disturbance from you as of late."

            Nick's disbelief was quite evident on his face.  Lacroix never wanted something as simple as that.  What dastardly plot did he have in mind this time?

            "Is it so unbelievable that a father could want to check on his son?" Lacroix asked, feigning sincerity.  Or was it feigned?

            "When you're the father in question?" Natalie asked.  "Yes."  Inside, she was quaking.  She knew of the promise Lacroix had extracted from Nick in return for his sister's life.  Had he come to collect his debt now?  She knew that Nicholas would fight to the death for her, but would it be enough?  Did she want to be brought across?  Yes.  But, not right now.  And, preferably, not by Lacroix.  So, to conceal her fear, she mouthed off to the ancient Roman general.  Probably not a wise thing to do.

            Nick prayed Natalie would hold her tongue.  It would not do to anger Lacroix.  "My *father* is dead, buried, and long turned to dust.  What do you *really* want?"

            Inside, Lacroix sighed.  Was this what it had come to over the long years?  Had he truly only visited his protégé when he wanted something?  He prayed that this altruistic mood of his passed soon.

            "Perhaps I was worried that you and your incessant *meddling* with mortal affairs had gotten you into trouble you could not get out of.  It *has* happened *before*."  Lacroix's eyes flashed in anger.

            Natalie watched them exasperatedly as her fear faded.  The more she saw of the two vampires interacting, the more she realized Nick was kind of blind when it came to Lacroix.  She did not think that Nick had been lying about the centuries of abuse and obsessive control, but she would bet that a big part of that was because Lacroix did see himself as Nick's father, and was parenting in the only way he knew how.  Right now, they were acting like a father and his teenage son.  Judging by their speech and body language, this was going to erupt into a family squabble.  Boys will be boys, she thought with a sigh as she slid across the couch and transferred herself to her wheelchair.  Then she moved out to just behind and to the side of Nick.  Lacroix's eyes widened ever so slightly at the wheelchair.

            "It wasn't him, this time.  I managed to get myself into a bit of a fix."  She shrugged.  "He must have been a bit concerned about me."

            "Oh?"  Lacroix raised an eyebrow.  "A 'bit of a fix'?"

            "Kidnapping, torture, the usual ilk," she said dismissively.

            A slow smile spread across Lacroix's face.  "I see.  You will make a good addition to the community, when you are ready."

            "*When* I'm ready," she reiterated, emphasizing the time.

            He nodded once, slowly.  "Well, my dear, I do hope you are better soon.  Nicholas," he paused.  "Well, it was infinitely more pleasurable conversing with the good doctor than you.  Good evening."

            He shot up through the skylight and out of sight.  Nick was quiet for a long moment, watching Natalie.  He wasn't quite sure if she was incredibly brave, incredibly smart, or incredibly stupid.  A mortal, sassing Lacroix.  Usually that ended with a very dead, very bloodless mortal.  When he had heard her moving behind him, the already-slow beating of his heart had almost stopped.  He could already sense Lacroix becoming angry, and *knew* that Natalie would somehow antagonize him more.

            Natalie met his eyes calmly, waiting for the explosion.  His face was an unreadable mask.  As she waited, she concentrated on coming up with refutes to his predictable comments, and slowing her heart rate.

            "Are you insane, Nat?" he finally asked quietly.  "You practically just admitted that we have a relationship beyond mere friendship!"

            She rolled her eyes.  He *had* to be kidding.  "And, of course, he didn't know before.  Nick, no offense love, but you really suck at hiding your feelings.  At least, when you're around Lacroix you do.  You didn't fool him at L'Azure that night."  Nick's eyes widened at her remembrance of that night.  He had thought that he had managed to hide that from her, even then with the bloodlink.  "Weren't you listening to the rest of the conversation?"

            "What of it?  He threatened to bring you across!"

            "No he didn't.  He basically *said* he wasn't going to *do* anything unless I asked.  And that he may not approve of the foolishness his son is participating in, but he would not interfere."

            "You don't *know* Lacroix the way I do, Nat!"

            "No, but that means I don't have any prejudices for the way he was acted in the past.  Everybody can change, Nick."

            "Not Lacroix," he said definitively.

            "Oh really?  You know, you're a vampire.  You don't deserve any more chances.  You could never change.  What was I thinking?  Goodbye, Nick, it's been nice knowing you."  She began wheeling to the lift to illustrate her point.

            Halfway there, she turned around and met his sad, sad eyes.  "You are *so dense* sometimes.  Let me attempt to reiterate that in a way you will understand.  You are a vampire.  Most would argue that a vampire couldn't be good.  Yet, you did a pretty good job of *changing*."

            She paused for a breath, and Nick used that pause to break in.  "Nat, are you really arguing *for* Lacroix?"

            That didn't even give her pause.  "Yes.  Well, indirectly.  Everyone can change, and that includes Lacroix."

            "But…Lacroix, Nat?"  He looked frankly disbelieving.

            "Just…Look, Nick, try *not* picking a fight with him next time you see him."

            "I don't *pick* fights!" he cried indignantly.

            Natalie looked down and began to rub the back of her neck.  She wished she was standing so she could look him in the eye without getting a crick in her neck.

            "*Yes*, you do.  You bait him, he baits you, and you *both* take it hook, line, sinker, and *pole*, too."

            "Then why don't you tell *him* to stop baiting *me*?"

            "Because I can be sure *you* aren't going to kill me if I tell you.  Be the bigger vampire here, Nick.  God, watching you two… He's right to call you his son.  You act just like a teenager with his parent."

            Nick's mouth, already open for a comeback, snapped shut.  Perhaps she was right.  Had he ever *truly* given Lacroix *any* sort of chance?  They had been getting along much better until that fateful night.  After that, he had been avoiding his Master, for fear of him somehow finding out about how he really felt about Natalie.  Could it be possible… Could she be right?

            "Maybe you're right, Nat," he said quietly, looking away.  "I don't know.  I don't know anything anymore."

            Natalie sighed.  "Damn it, I can't fight with you, Nick," she said as she dropped her head into her hands.  "It takes too much out of me."

            She scrubbed her hands across her eyes, then looked up.  His eyes were fixed on a spot on the floor.  He had gone from being relatively happy to miserable in under and hour.  Oh, his wonderful mood swings.

            "Get over here so I can hug you," she said, standing up.  Six more days.  Six more days and she wouldn't have to use the stupid wheelchair anymore.

            Nick wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her silky chestnut hair.  This entire year had thrown his world for a loop.  First, Schanke and Cohen died, then Natalie almost had her heart put on the black market; he was shot in the head and suffered from amnesia, then got possessed by a demon.  Of course, there was the fever, that damn virtual reality game, Janette had become mortal - *his* dream - and he had brought her back across.  Divia had almost killed him, the whole Francesca thing, and Tracy was short.  Of course, he couldn't forget that he had almost killed Natalie.  And so, the glass was slowly drained - half empty, two thirds empty, three quarters empty, only a sip left…

            And, as always, events turned around.  Natalie lived and didn't hate him.  Someone brought Vachon back, and he brought Tracy across.  The 'guardian angels' told Nick how to be able to be intimate with Natalie, and it worked.  Natalie (and Sydney, of course) moved in with him.  The glass got fuller and fuller.

            And then Natalie was kidnapped and brutally tortured.

            Just to keep him completely off balance, Lacroix was leaving him in peace.  Nick was tense all of the time because, by all rights, Lacroix should be coming to collect his debt.  It was quite like the calm before the storm.  His emotions were running on high.

            Tonight, he was sure that night had come.  He was prepared to fight to the death for Natalie.  His fear for her safety made him confrontational, even though that would only inflame Lacroix's temper.  When he really did appear to only be concerned for Nick's safety…the one sure thing in Nick's life - Lacroix's evilness - was gone, and he could not let go of it.

            Perhaps Natalie was right, and Lacroix was changing.

            Perhaps he was wrong once more.

            The emotional roller coaster he had been on, the fear for Natalie's safety both when she was kidnapped and the general threat from Lacroix, were slowly taking its toll on him.

            Natalie could feel Nick shaking.  His arms clung to her with a fierce neediness.  She could feel a slight wetness trickling down her neck, and knew he was weeping.  She knew that the one thing he could be sure of in his eternally long life was that Lacroix was Evil.  And she had just half-argued that out of him.  Maybe she should have left that alone, and kept her thoughts to herself.

            "I'm sorry, Nick," she said quietly as she stroked his hair.

            "All I could think was that you were going to get yourself killed.  He's killed people for less than that."

            "I'm sorry, Nick."  She turned her head and kissed his cheek, kissing up the bloodtears on that side of his face.  She had never actually seen him cry before.  The fact that he was allowing the bloodtears to fall freely showed her just how scared he had been.

            "To get you back from that monster only to loose you to him," he whispered.

            "I'm sorry," she said once more.  "I don't think before I talk, sometimes.  I hide my fear behind my tongue."

            Nick rested his forehead on hers.  "I can't impress on you enough how treacherous Lacroix is."

            "Okay."  She continued to kiss his scratchy cheeks and bloodtears as she talked.  "I'll remember that.  I won't cut him any slack if I ever see him again."

            "You will, Nat," Nick said dolefully.  "You will."

            Natalie kissed each of his eyelids.  It was so easy to forget that everything she did or said affected him.  She rubbed his nose with her own.

            "Go wash off your face, love.  Abel should be here soon, and questions about why your cheeks are stained red wouldn't be good.'

            He sighed and dropped his head to her shoulder for a moment.  "Maybe you're right, Nat.  And I guess I do pick fights with him.  Just…be careful.  Don't antagonize him."

            "Okay, I promise.  Now scat."  She waited until he had disappeared into the bathroom on that floor before collapsing into her wheelchair with a muffled groan.  Her knees - especially her left one - felt like someone was driving white-hot stakes through them.  Technically, she wasn't supposed to take any pain medication for another two hours.  But, she wheeled herself over to the counter and popped two pills in her mouth anyways.

            She jumped and stifled a shriek when she felt a pair of hands drop on her shoulders.  "Don't *do* that Nick!"

            "Sorry, Nat."  He nuzzled her neck, his melancholy mood almost completely evaporated.  "Know what we need built here, Nat?"

            He waited expectantly until she said, "What?"

            "A guest bedroom.  Think about it!  What if Sarah and Amy want to come for a visit?  Where would they sleep?  You three upstairs and me on the couch?  Wouldn't a guest room be better?"

            Natalie smiled as she turned around.  "You say that like I'm going to argue with you.  It sounds like a good idea to me."

            "Really?"  His face lit up like a little boy at Christmas.  "Because, I figure I can get it done in a week."

            "That soon?"  Her grin widened at his excitement.

            "Uh-huh," he affirmed.  "Because, what if Abel can't find an apartment?  He can't sleep on the couch forever.  And does he seem like a person who knows how to live on his own?"  He suddenly paused.  "Well, I mean, if that's okay with you.  I mean-"

            "Nick," Natalie laughed and held up her hands.  "Stop.  He's a sweet kid, I like him.  Don't worry about it."

            Nick smiled, and bent down to kiss Natalie.  "I need to call the guys who do all my renovating."

            Natalie laughed.  "You're so *cute* when you're excited about something!"

            Nick smiled boyishly at her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.  Natalie's grin grew as he walked over to the phone and picked it up, wandering further back into the loft as he dialed.  She wondered if he got this excited every time he began a new project.

            She watched the news for another couple minutes.  Snow forecasted in the weather for tomorrow.  She sighed.  Ah, the joys of living in Canada.

            The buzzer for the door rang, making her jump.  Nick was still on the phone, so she went and checked the security camera.  Of course, it was Abel, glancing around nervously.  She pressed the intercom button.

            "Hi Abel.  Take the lift to the second floor."  She deactivated the alarm and unlocked the door.

            She heard the lift activating and reset the alarms on the outer doors.  Nick wandered his way back into the room.

            "All right," he said into the phone.  "Tonight, if you can.  Right.  Thanks, goodbye."  He hung up and replaced the phone in its stand.  "That Abel, Nat?"

            She nodded.  "Yeah.  Hey, Nick… Are you still working on holidays so guys with families can have the day off?"

            That stopped him, and he crouched down so hew as on eyelevel with her.  "I don't know," he said, nuzzling her cheek, "because now I've got a family of my own."

            Natalie laughed and kissed him as the door to the loft groaned open.  "I just wanted to know if I should start asking my supervisor for holidays off."

            "We'll talk about it later," he said as he straightened up.  Abel was standing against the back wall of the lift, shaking slightly.  There was a suitcase on either side of him.  "Hey," Nick said, "come on in.  Do you have anything else down in your car?"

            Abel shook his head quickly, nervously as he picked up his bags and came out into the room.  "Thanks for letting me stay with you."

            "No problem," Natalie told him as she turned her chair to turn off the TV.  Then she just *froze*.

            Nick snapped around as he heard her heart begin to race.  Her eyes were fixed on the TV screen.  It was a news report.  Someone had finally told the press that the serial had been apprehended.  They were saying that, and that there was no other information given.  They flashed a picture of Kane's mug shots, and were trying to get a statement out of Tracy and Reese.  Nick fumbled for his universal remote as the report ended.  Then, Natalie seemed to give herself a little shake.

            Nick moved to her side and crouched down.  "Are you okay, Nat?" he asked as he caressed her cheek.

            "Yeah."  She smiled at him.  "It's just… weird.  I see that on TV, and realize, hey!  I was part of that!  Indirectly, I'm on TV!"

            Nick paused for a long moment, staring at her.  He did not believe her in the least.  But, he finally laughed a little.  "Whatever you say, Nat."

            "There's no guest bedroom," she said to Abel like nothing had happened, "so you're on the couch again.  There's nowhere to put your stuff, really, so just leave it by the couch.  Is that really all you have?"

            He nodded warily.  "I never needed a lot."  He walked over to the couch and put the two suitcases next to it.  "I'll pay rent for as long as I have to stay here."

            Nick glanced quickly at Natalie before saying, "Don't worry about it."

            "Okay, are you sure about that?  I mean-"

            "Hey," Natalie interrupted gently.  "Weren't you the one who said you had no money?" 

Abel nodded, vocalizing his assent.  "Yes, but I get my paycheck tomorrow.  I just have to have it rerouted, right?"

            "Yeah," Nick said.  "But then you have to open a bank account for yourself, and you need first-of if you find an apartment.  And car insurance and anything else like that.  Don't worry about it."

            "Okay."  Natalie could see relief in his eyes.  "Thank you so much for this."

            Natalie smiled slightly.  "Just don't touch the green bottles in the fridge.  Everything else is fair game.  And don't mess with the shades.  Nick's severely allergic to the sun."

            Abel nodded again.  "Um… I have to go to work…" He looked like he was afraid they were going to say he couldn't, or something.

            "Oh, yeah, sorry," Natalie said.  "Where do you work?"

            "I'm the night clerk down at the video store," he said nervously as he walked past them.  Nick noticed that he arced slightly around them - not very noticeable, but it was there.  He recognized it as the way *he* used to walk around Lacroix when he was just a fledgling - keeping himself slightly out of their reach so they couldn't hurt him.

            "See you later," Nick said.

            "Uh, yeah," Abel replied.  "Bye."

            He disappeared into the lift.  Natalie looked at Nick as the door rumbled closed.

            "Oh my God," she said softly.  "He just makes me want to cry."  In fact, her eyes were filling with tears.  But Nick was sure they weren't for Abel.

            "I know, Nat, I know."  He scooped her up and carried her over to the couch, her usual protests not forthwith coming.  She just curled her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder.

            "Dear God," she said, clutching him tightly.  "I can't imagine going through what I went through over and over." Nick cuddled her close to him, stroking her hear.  "I swear, in those twenty-four hours…he *never* slept.  I'd get peace for ten, maybe fifteen minutes…"

            Nick held her close, kissing the top of her head.  He had already figured out how to hold her without hurting her, being careful where he put his arms.  She was trembling in his arms.  Perhaps having Abel here was not a good idea.

            "It never stopped, no matter what I did.  I would beg.  I would promise I would do anything, and he would laugh.  He'd laugh and hit me harder.  You have *no idea* the utter hopelessness that comes when you know that nothing you do can stop the pain."  She started to cry, clutching tightly to him as he held her in his lap.  "And all I could think," she sobbed, "was that there was no way you could find me.  The guy was too good.  I knew I was going to die.  He was going to rape me and kill me.  And it couldn't come soon enough for me."

            Nick held her tight against him.  She was shaking with the force of her sobs.  The abject loneliness and terror in her voice struck him to the very core.  He wasn't quite sure if the TV or Abel had set this off, but he knew it was probably one of those things.  He didn't even have to ask her to know that she would *never* consider therapy.  Even though she dearly needed it, she would not go.  He hadn't brought up the issue, yet, but he knew her answers already.

            "I would *never* let that happen," he whispered into her ear, nibbling on her earlobe slightly.  "If it meant I had to sell whatever's left of my soul, if I had to go out in the sun, if it meant my death, I'd find you and make sure you were okay."  He kissed the top of her head, the part of her face not buried in his shoulder, as much as he could, as if that could make her pain go away.

            Natalie clung to him, like he was a rock in the middle of a raging ocean.  "But there were no clues.  And you only had one suspect.  Everyone knows that the first suspect never pans out.  Even if they're the one who did it, it takes a while."  She had to force the words out from between her sobs.  "And while I was lying on that floor, shivering and hurting… I was going to die alone.  Alone and…" She started sobbing so hard that she couldn't continue.

            Natalie shivered and trembled and sobbed in Nick's arms.  She felt so dirty.  She didn't deserve Nick's love.  She hadn't even had the strength to stand up for herself for an hour.  She was weak and pathetic.  How could Nick not find her disgusting for giving up so easily?

            Nick did not know what she was thinking, but her sobs tore at his heart.  He had been too late, all because of his damn curse!  If only… He did not have the words to tell her how much he loved her, how much he needed her, and how infinitely sorry he was that he hadn't been there in time.  As usual, he had no idea what to say, so he let her feel it, instead.

            She started to sob harder at first, as she felt the warm feelings wash over her from their tiny link.  How could he still love her?  How could he still care for her that much?  How could he blame himself?  Nick stroked her hair and murmured soothing nothings into her ear.  He could feel it beginning to work almost immediately as she quieted down.

            Nick rocked her in his lap and comforted her until she had quieted down to only an occasional sniffle.  As she scrubbed her arm across her face, wiping away the tears, he could almost literally *see* her professional mask slipping into place.

            "Can we put in a movie, Nick?" she asked hopefully once her tears had stopped.  "Something funny?  I need to laugh."

            He kissed her temple and gently transferred her off of his lap.  "Of course, Nat."  He got up and popped in one of her favorite comedies, and sat back down next to her.  She snuggled into his arms, and there they sat, watching the bright images on the screen.