Author:  The Wanlorn

Title:  A World in a Grain of Sand 16/?

Summary:  This is a sequel to "Every New Beginning…"

Rating:  PG13 for language

Spoilers:  I honestly don't know, so beware.

Distribution:  Ask, and ye shall receive.  Take without permission, then screw the Law of Three, I will cures you with the nefarious curse of…da da dum…WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Disclaimer:  Same as all of the last times, so far.  Any sort of 'pard' stuff is stolen from Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series.

Chapter Sixteen

            Nire was still glued by the couch when the lift started up.  Natalie had gone to start a load of laundry, and Nick was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, drinking his lunch.  He knew that Abel had been sitting downstairs for a while, absolutely terrified of something.  But since he was the only one down there, Nick knew to leave him alone.  After all, when was Abel not afraid of something?

            Abel's eyes skittered nervously around the room as he exited the lift, the bulky door grumbling shut behind him.  His eyes and ears quickly located everyone as his heart fluttered in his chest.  There was Nick, over in the kitchen, feeding from a Metro Homicide mug.  His eyes were distant, either deep in thought or back in memories.  The sounds of the washing machine starting and Natalie finishing up in the laundry room reached Abel's keen ears.

            Neither of those things were what made his heart race like a jackrabbit.  After all, how many times had he come back from the video store to be greeted by a similar scene?  No, it was the fact that the call he had been able to feel almost all night, the roiling power, as emanating from the vicinity of the couch.  He knew there where two people there, two bodies from who knows where.  Since only one singing heart could be heard that wasn't familiar to him, he assumed the one body was one of the undead.  Which left the other body to be the source.

            Within five seconds of his entrance, Nire popped her head around the edge of the black leather couch.  Instinct told him that she was it.  Nick's dazed look disappeared as Abel's breath caught a little in his throat out of fear.

            "Hey kitty kat," she said in a tone as if she were speaking to an actual cat, but with a much gentler note in the background.  "What's your name?"

            Natalie came out of the laundry room, assuming Nire as talking to Sydney.  The gray furball had yet to make his appearance - he had been asleep somewhere upstairs for the entire night.

            Needless to say, she was surprised when the young man answered in a timid, trembling voice, "Abel."

            "Hi Abel.  I'm Nire."  She got up and limped around the couch so she was leaning against the back.  Abel visibly flinched as she moved, scared to death of her.  He knew he was supposed to go greet her, but with Nick and Natalie confusedly watching… Which was more imperative?  He didn't know - they had never bothered to teach him.  His eyes nervously flicked between Nire and Nick and Natalie.

            Nick was about to intervene somehow.  Nire obviously didn't know Abel, and yet the young man was terrified of her.  She wasn't making things any better, either.  But Nire spoke again before he could move.

            "What's the matter?" she asked, looking a bit confused.  "He's a vampire and she's living with a vampire, so- " A light suddenly dawned on her face and in her eyes.  "Oh.  You're one of *those* kinds of kitty kat."

            The smell of the blood on her clothes was going to drive him mad.  His control was tenuous as it was, and he could feel the roiling within him.  What was he supposed to do?  Had that been meant as a reassurance or a threat?  If he turned and ran right now, would she find him and kill him?

            "Where's your pard, kitty kat?" Nire's voice was gentle and cajoling, meant to be as non-threatening as possible.

            Abel's tongue flicked out and nervously licked his lips.  Maybe it would be better to just belong to someone again.  It couldn't be as bad as before.  "I don't have one," he finally said, his soft tones filled with fear.

            "You don't?" Nire's eyes were suddenly sharp.  "How long?"

            "Five days," he whispered miserably.  His head dropped so he was looking at the floor, trying to force back the tears in his eyes.

            "Jesus Christ!  What were you going to do?" she exclaimed.

            Abel flinched back half a step.  Nick opened his mouth to come to the young man's rescue, but Nire quickly caught his eye and shook her head in a small motion.  It would not have mattered, but for the fact that her face begged him to keep his trap shut and her eyes screamed that she knew what she was doing.

            "I don't know," Abel whimpered.  Why weren't Nick and Natalie helping him?  Unless…

            Nire silently mouthed the number of days he had said, her eyes growing wide.  Natalie was trying to figure out what she had meant by the question in the first place, and Abel's answer.  Nick's head jerked up and he sniffed the air when, with no warning, the scent of blood was gone, completely gone.  One moment, he could smell the fluid oozing from Nire's wounds, the next, he couldn't.  What was it?  How had that happened?

            Abel could have cried in relief when the scent of blood disappeared.  The roil within him calmed almost immediately.  Too, the compelling call was gone.  The tingle and buzz remained; but the need of the summons was gone.

            "I'm sorry, kitty kat.  I didn't even think of that," Nire apologized.  "One more question, and then I'll stop bugging you, 'kay?  All I need to know is if there's a Nimir-Ra, or someone like that who I should talk to."

            Abel didn't dare peek up from the spot he was studying on the floor.  She was not going to like the only answer he had, but there was no way he could avoid giving it.  "I don't know."

            She didn't strike out as he had expected.  Instead, she said gently, "Okay, thanks.  I'm done bothering you now."

            He eyed her cautiously for a moment.  Was she really done?  Was he going to get away that easily?  Or were there going to be repercussions later?  Oh, God, he didn't care anymore.  Carefully, he edged around her and over to the stairs, then fled up to his room.

            As soon as Nick heard the door close, he glared at Nire, as did Natalie.  "What the *hell*-" he growled.

            "Oh, do shut up," Nire said, quite but forcefully.  It was enough to have Nick's mouth snap closed.  "I know more than you think.  Severely abused, probably raped on a daily basis since childhood, and there's more to the story that there's no way you could know."

            "Then do enlighten us," Natalie said icily.

            "No," Nire flatly refused.  "If he wanted you to know, he'd 'a told you.  And if you start bugging him about it…" Nire drifted off and limped back around the couch to sit down, leaving the unspoken threat hanging in the air.  Natalie could hear her muttering, "If I ever get my hands on any of the bastards that hurt that poor boy, I'll make them pay.  I'll make them pay an infinite number of times."

            Natalie knew the feeling well.  She nudged Nick gently to get his attention and muttered, "Leave her alone."

            "Damn right, leave me alone," Nire spoke up.  "If you don't want a turf war breaking out in the middle of Toronto, I had to get that information out of him."

            "Turf war?" popped out of Nick's mouth.

            "No, he wasn't part of a gang.  Different kind of turf war."

            Natalie kissed Nick's cheek.  "I'm going upstairs.  Go ahead and argue with her, but you're going to lose."

            She left the two of them there and went up to check on Abel.  Even as she walked down the hall and knocked on the young man's bedroom door, she could hear Nick arguing and Nire telling him to shut up because she was trying to learn how to achieve world domination.  The girl had settled right in once Jander had gone back to sleep.

            "Can I come in, honey?" she asked as she knocked.

            "Uh huh."

            She opened the door and quietly shut it behind her.  Abel was sitting on his bed, his legs crossed, staring at nothing.  As the door clicked, he flinched and glanced quickly at her.  She made a mental note as she sat down in the chair that they *had* to get out soon and find actual furniture for the room.

            "Are you okay, honey?" she asked him gently.

            He nodded quickly, nervously.  Now she was going to start asking questions.  Questions he didn't want to answer.  Although he had heard Nire warning them to leave him alone, why would they listen?  Why would Nire even bother backing up her threat?  He wasn't hers - he didn't belong to anyone anymore.  The worst part was, he wasn't so sure that being alone was such a good thing.

            "Are you sure?  You ran up here pretty fast."  Abel's immediate reaction to the innocent question was to draw up his knees to his chest in a protective gesture.

            "I'm sorry," he whimpered unhappily.

            "Hey, it's okay," she quickly reassured him.  "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

            He nodded quickly.  Sure, he was okay.  Relatively okay.  Why couldn't he belong to someone without the pain involved?  They had told him he couldn't survive on his own.  Apparently, they were right.  How come the more powerful, the more the pain?  Why was that how it always was?  He would *have* to go to them, because, with the amount of power rolling off Nire…

            "Abel, honey, what's really wrong?" Natalie was worried by the look on his face.  He looked like he was about to burst into tears, but was too afraid to.

            He peered at her from above his knees.  "Nothing.  Really.  I'm fine."

            Natalie knew when not to press him.  But she would try to get Nire and Jander out as soon as possible.  Abel was obviously terrified of Nire, but for no discernable reason.  And the whole kitty kat thing - they could know each other.  But that didn't seem to be it.

            Abel watched her, breathing shallowly.  The other shoe had to drop soon, hadn't it?  Tonight was the night his run of good luck ended.  Why bother resisting?  It was futile.  All that ever did was get him more pain.  If he gave up now, it might not be as bad.

            Natalie sighed.  She had gotten Abel to talk to her a little bit more.  It was nothing much, not more beyond longer sentences, but at least it was something.  Now, he had returned to fearful two-word sentences.  Frustrating, to say the least.

            "You know you can talk to me and Nick, right honey?" she tried to reassure him.

            He nodded slightly, and Natalie sighed again.  Oh yeah, he believed her.  Almost as much as if she had sworn that Santa Clause was real.  What else was she supposed to do or say?  She wasn't a psychologist; she didn't know what to say.  There was nothing left to do but go back downstairs.  As she stood and went to the door, Abel flinched and shrank away from her.  Something he hadn't done for two or so days.

            "I'll see you if you venture downstairs again, otherwise, good night, sweet dreams."

            " 'Night," he whispered as she left.

            Natalie paused at the top of the stairs to determine the state of the argument downstairs.  Surprisingly, everything was quiet.  Nire was still on the floor in front of the couch, and now Nick was in his chair.  Natalie went down the stairs and leaned over the back of it, playing with his blonde hair.

            "Who won?" she asked jokingly, even though she was seriously angry with the girl.

            "I did," Nire immediately said and pointed at Nick.  "He quit arguing first."

            "Did not," Nick quickly said.  "You started repeating yourself."

            Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes.  Wonderful.  They may have made their peace, but now she had to deal with children.  She was too tired to deal with that right now.  Much too tired.

~~~~{@

            The soft blue glow of the digital watch made shadows on Abel's face as he checked what time it was.  He made a small unhappy noise - it was only noon.  He had heard Natalie and Nick go to bed three hours ago, and Nire turn off the TV an hour after that.  And still he sat on the mattress that was his bed, wide-awake.

            Opening the shades might be a good thing, since he obviously wasn't going to sleep.  The thick, heavy shades kept it pitch black in the room, even during the brightest part of the day.  Not that it mattered - before, he had to be able to sleep when he could, no matter how bright the light.

            What had Natalie done for him last time he couldn't sleep?  Warmed up some milk in the microwave, was it?  Maybe if he was really quiet, he could sneak downstairs and do that without waking anyone up.  The microwave wasn't that loud.  Or maybe he could put it on a burner for a few seconds.  That worked the same for most things.

            The decision quickly made for once, he dropped his feet lightly on the floor and silently walked to the door, easing it open.  There were no sounds of movement from either floor.  Deciding it to be safe, he crept down the hall and down the stairs.  Too late, he realized that Nire was not asleep, merely not watching TV anymore, and she was watching him.

            He was already off the last step, and no one was around but he, Nire, and the unconscious nosferatu.  Immediately, without hesitation for fear of the serious consequences because of before, he dropped to his hands and knees and crawled forward.  His head was bent downs submissively, and his crawl was that of a clumsy human, not the almost feline slink Natalie had seen.

            "I'm sorry," he repeated over and over under his breath.  When he reached Nire's side, he licked her hand.  Then he cringed away from her, awaiting the strike that was sure to come.

            Instead, she said in a soft, gently voice, "It's okay, kitty kat.  I'm not big on official greetings - it freaks out the humans too much."

            Still, he trembled, waiting.  She couldn't be serious.  That would be too good to be true.  As soon as he relaxed, she would do something, cause some kind of pain.  It was all he knew, all he had been taught since he was but a babe.  The more powerful, the more it would hurt.

            "I'm serious, chico.  C'mon, get up.  Stop cringing there like I'm going to beast the shit out of you."  She smiled reassuringly.

            Warily, watching her body language closely, he stood.  But still he cringed, waiting.  Every line of his body screamed 'don't hurt me' so loudly that Nire wondered how anyone could cause the young man pain.

            She tilted her head back and stared at the high ceiling.  "So, you can't sleep either, ey?"

            Abel nodded quickly, trembling underneath his thin T-shirt.  Was she done with him?  Was that it for now?  She wasn't talking to him, wasn't looking at him.  Did that mean he had been dismissed?  Or maybe she wanted him to think that so when he moved away…

            Nire cracked an eye open.  "You're one frightened kitty kat.  Did you come down for a glass of warm milk?"  He nodded again.  "That actually sounds relatively good," she mused, pushing herself to her feet.

            He watched warily as she limped out to the kitchen still in jeans and a T-shirt.  After a moment's hesitation, he followed her, with a fatalistic attitude.  Although he wondered why she limped so badly, he would never ask.  The soft sounds of Nire humming under her breath reached his ears as she grabbed down two glasses.

            "One for you, one for me," she said gently, handing him a glass.  He gripped it tightly so he wouldn't drop it.

            The harsh light from the refrigerator spread into the dark room, briefly blinding Abel.  A moment of panic gripped him because he couldn't see Nire and he instinctively flinched away from the light, whimpering.

            Nire swore violently, quickly grabbing out the milk and shutting the door.  "There should be *laws* against making lights that bright."

            As Nire thunked the jug of milk on the counter beside her glass, the bright spots faded from Abel's eyes.  For a long moment, the girl stared speculatively at the milk, then made a face.

            "Screw that," she muttered, grabbing her glass and moving to the sink.  "There you go, kitty kat."  Abel watched nervously as she filled her glass with water and took a long pull, then dumped the rest out.  With interest, he watched as she pulled a small silver flask from her back pocket and took a swig.

            "What's that?" he asked quietly before he could think better of it, and flinched away.

            "Stuff," she answered.  "It's… It keeps me awake.  Sometimes, being awake all night is preferable to the nightmares."  She grinned wryly.  "Or two nights, or a week."

            Abel could identify with that statement.  He filled his glass and put the milk back, squinting against the glare.  Then he stood in front of the microwave for a few minutes, trying to figure out how long to put it in for.  He glanced at Nire a couple times, hoping she would notice his predicament and help.  He didn't want to wake up Nick or Natalie by having the microwave keep beeping.  Nire finally glanced at him.

            "Try two minutes, chico, but keep an eye on it."  She grinned.  "I don't really know - I'm 'llergic to milk, so I don't have much occasion to warm it up."

            When the milk came out, it was nice and warm, but not too hot.  Abel sipped at it, watching Nire closely.  She was studying him no less intensely.  It was making him extremely nervous.

            "I'm going to start being nosy again, kitty kat," she finally said, " 'cause that's my job when I meet a stray."

            He nodded, his fear escalating.  If she didn't like his answers, what would she do?  And he couldn't lie because she would know.  He was damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

            "When?" she asked, assuming he would understand what she meant.

            "When I was five."  He prayed he had gotten the intent of her question right.

            Her eyes widened perceptibly.  "They've been beating on you since you were a babe, ey?  So, you're not part of a pard, you don't know if there's some kind of leader, but there are other wereleopards, right?"

            He nodded again, his eyes flickering about the room.  On his fingers, he tried to count how many there were.  He did not know them by name, but by what they did to him when Kane loaned him out.

            Quickly, Nire said, "I don't need names or numbers, kitty kat.  Just that there are some."

            He flinched as she moved around the table and hopped up on the edge.  As she swung her feet, he cringed away from her, his breath hitching in his throat.  Sliding along the counter edge, he instinctively moved away from her and her swinging feet.

            "Easy, kitty kat.  I just can't stand up for that long."  She waited a few seconds for him to calm down a little, then continued.  "So what were you planning on doing when the full moon came?"  The gentle caring in her voice softened the harshness of the question.

            Abel set down his glass and hugged his arms around his body, shivering slightly.  He wasn't cold.  "I don't know," he whispered miserably.  That had never been a good answer, in his experience, but it was all he had.

            "Not even a single thought?" Nire questioned quietly.  "Chico, you do realize that you have to figure out something, right?  It's never good to be pardless and alone at that time of the month."

            Abel nodded, fighting back tears.  What was there for him to do?  He had no options left, and Nire sounded suspiciously like she was telling him to go back to them.  His breathing came in short gasps of fear as he considered what was going to happen to him if he let them get their hands on him once more.  Whatever she offered would be better than going back, or being alone.  At least, if he gave up to her and her awesome power right now, it was possible she would save him for herself.  She wouldn't pass him around.  And he would belong to someone again.  The pain would be worth it, no matter how severe.  They had been right - wereleopards could not survive on their own.

            "Are you…" he began tremulously, bracing himself, but was afraid to continue.  He had to make sure, didn't he?

            "I am Nimir-Ra of the Icebreaker pard."  She smiled gently at him.  "That's what you wanted to make sure of, right?"

            He nodded, terrified, wanting nothing more than to flee back upstairs right now.  Forget about everything else.  Through careless talk because they did not think he was listening or understood, he had gathered a few tidbits about the pard.  For instance, he knew that the Nimir-Ra was the alpha member of the pard, the leopard queen.  But he didn't know how he, as the lowest of the wereleopards in the area, should have greeted her.  If he had done something wrong, what was going to happen to him?  She had enough power, enough dominance, to absolutely crush him, then heal him and do it again.

            "Calm down, kitty kat.  It's okay.  Answer me one more question, okay?  Just one?"  He nodded, not having a choice.  "What did you do before you came here when it was time for the change?"

            He shuddered, clutching tighter to himself.  His voce was barely audible when he spoke.  "They'd just lock me in a room until I was human again.  Or there was a cage out back…"

            Nire was silent for a long moment before murmuring, "Oh you poor baby.  You poor, poor baby."

            "Am I going to have to go back?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.  Immediately, before the words even had time to register on Nire's brain, he flinched back and whimpered.  He had spoken without being asked a direct question.  That was never allowed.

            "Gods no!" Nire exclaimed.  "Uh-uh, no way, never."  She shuddered slightly.  "You'd be insane if you did.'  She sighed and took another swig from her silver flask, muttering, "Gods-be-damned, I'm getting immune to this dren.'"

            Abel whimpered slightly, daring to whisper, "Than what am I supposed to do?"

            He dropped his chin to his chest, staring at the floor with watery blue eyes.  He was sick and tired of worrying every night, of being afraid all the time because there was no one to protect him.  At least Kane had made sure he was not killed by any of the rougher people who had him.  He was tired of watching the moon with more fear than usual these past couple weeks.  With all of his might, he prayed.  He prayed that this Nimir-Ra, this alpha were that could and would hurt him worse than anyone else, would offer him something.  Anything.  He didn't care, as long as he was not alone anymore.  As long as he belonged to someone.

            "Kitty kat, you have to go to someone.  If you don't know any more pards, you don't really have time to go find one."

            He whimpered quietly, screwing up all of his courage, pushing down his fear of punishment for asking a question.  Quietly, timidly, tremulously, he asked, "What about you?"

            Nire nodded once, grinning.  "Aye, that's an option.  You can join my pard, or just visit for the full moon, or I can stay here until it's over.  Whatever you prefer.  Or, you can *try* to go it alone; I know a few who do."  Abel shook his head a little, panic suddenly lining his body.  "But, seeing as how they never taught you anything, that might not be wise.  It wouldn't do to have Nick investigate a wild-animal death that 'doesn't feel right' and trace it back to you."

            Abel opened his mouth to answer her.  It didn't matter to him as long as there was someone taking care of him.  Nire quickly stopped him, holding up her right hand.

            "Uh-uh, don't answer now, kitty kat.  Think about it for a couple days.  What do *you* want?"  She took another swig.

            Abel watched the silver flask warily as it was recapped and returned to her back pocket.  It didn't *smell* like alcohol, but… His father had been bad enough as a drunk.  He could not imagine the random pain a drunken shapeshifter would cause.

            Nire followed his gaze to find out what he was looking at with such fear in his eyes.  She took out the flask and sloshed the contents a little.  "No, it's not alcohol, nor is it mixed with alcohol.  Cross my heart.  You can try some, if you want, but I'm telling you right now you won't be able to sleep for the rest of the day."

            Abel shrugged, so she asked, "Was that an 'I don't care if I can't sleep' or an 'It doesn't matter; I don't want any'?"

            It was actually both, but as he considered carefully before he answered, he decided on the former.  Whatever she had smelled good, seet, like lavender and cinnamon.  If she was freely offering it, then why not.  Of course , it could be some kind of trick or trap, but he had nothing to lose.

            "The first one," he said softly.

            "Okaly dokely.  Give me your glass."  He downed the last of the milk and handed it to her, not wanting to get as close as he had to.  Why couldn't he just take a swig like she was doing?  "It's a pure silver flask, kitty kat.  You don't want to be touching it."

            He looked up at her slightly.  Why hadn't she given it to him anyway?  Any of *them* would have.  Then laughed at his cry of pain and punished him if he dropped it.  Was she another one who was different?  That couldn't be, though.  No one with that much power could resist using it on those who were submissive.  And how could she touch it?  Was she another masochist?  But…

            "Here ya go."  He flinched slightly as she handed him the glass, quarter of an inch of the stuff at the bottom.  It was a colorless liquid, but smelled delicious.  "Smells yummy, eh?" she asked, smiling as he tried to smell it inconspicuously.

            He glanced up at her ad took a careful sip.  The liquid slid coolly down his throat.  It tasted delicious, just like it smelled.  When the single mouthful was gone, he licked his lips appreciatively and carefully set the glass down.  As the first touch of the liquid reached his stomach, he was wide-awake and alert.  She had been right - he was not going to be sleeping at all until tomorrow.

            Nire grinned at the surprised look on his face.  "Tol'ja, kitty kat.  But it tastes good, no?"

            Abel nodded, a timid smile on his face.  It was very good.,  He flinched back as she pushed herself off of the table and limped back to the living room.  Wondering what had happened to her, he followed, a couple feet behind.  She settled on her makeshift bed and leaned her head back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling.  The vampire was covered by a light blanket, and still sound asleep.

            Assuming that he had been dismissed, he went and stood at the bottom of the stairs.  Surprisingly, although he would have given anything a couple moments ago to be up in the guest room, he now did not want to go back up.  He wasn't quite sure what Nire smelled like, but it gave him a feeling he could only describe as…comforting.  Many other weres, in previous years, had decided that Nire smelled like home.  Barely knowing what that felt like, never mind what to call it, he could not quite put his finger on it.  But it made him want to stay just a few moments longer.  He was wide-awake, now, after all.

            Nire turned her head and looked at him, noticing his hesitation.  "What?  You can either go upstairs or stay down here.  It doesn't matter to me - it's not like you'll be keeping my up.  The gods know I'm going to be bored silly," she muttered at the end.

            There was a moment's hesitation on Abel's part, but in the end, he crept carefully over to that area of the vast room.  He would chance it and stay, at least for the time being.