Training Day.

Parker could feel the pressure building, she was going to have a blinding headache later. She blinked and tried to focus on the screen in front. This whole day had been a complete waste of time and a quick glance to her left confirmed her thoughts. Sidney sat next to her but beyond him was Lyle and he was trying his best to appear enthusiastic. However the forced smile gave him away. It didn't matter though as Mr Parker and Raines were sat behind, apparently engrossed in the instructional video.

Parker returned her attention to the screen. 'Teambuilding' Daddy had called it though the very people in the room were hardly what she would consider a team. Lyle, Brigette, Raines, Sidney, Broots, Sam, Willie, herself and Daddy were sat in a conference room at a hotel. She had tried to get out of it but Daddy had made it clear that it was not optional.

Parker groaned inwardly as the torture continued, the annoyingly happy people extolling the benefits of a fun workplace. The urge to take out her gun and show exactly how much fun she was having was overwhelming. Unfortunately they were all under orders to leave their weapons at home. This was after all a private hotel, "They think we are accountants", her father had explained to the team.

Still the video droned on. Broots was sat to her right and was obediently watching the screen. Brigette was sat on his right, her hand resting on his knee. Parker quashed the urge to slap the bitch. She had done something similar during the group hug though it hadn't been his knee... Broots was managing to ignore her, but no-one got to tease Broots but her.

At last the video ended. An audible sigh was heard from certain delegates. The co-ordinater, Sue, stood in front of the 'team'. Clearing her throat she asked for opinions from the group. Parker felt it was wise to keep her mouth shut at this point.

Sid however began spouting his usual psychobabble, at which Sue looked suitably intrigued. A sharp cough from Mr Parker brought Sidney to a halt. He offered up the excuse that he had took some psychology classes at college. The co-ordinater seemed pleased with this explanation, a learned bunch of accountants were in her midst.

Sue edged in to the final item of the day, each delegate had to write down something positive about every member of their team. It involved a lot of paper folding and co-operation, and in Sue's limited experience was always very revealing. She began to hand around the sheets of paper with the delegates names on. As she did this she once again wondered just who these people really were - some used only surnames and others forenames. It had bothered her all day, they certainly weren't accountants though they definitely needed help with teamwork. And that guy with the oxygen tank freaked her out. She hoped she had covered her feelings well, she couldn't afford to lose this job. She sat back and observed the group once more as they completed the final task. She hadn't run many of these training sessions but she was sure she wouldn't come across another team as peculiar as this - they all seemed to be struggling to write something down. They were all extremely uncomfortable during the group hug, though that had happened previously.

After twenty minutes the delegates had reluctantly completed their task and each had in their hands a sheet with comments about themselves. Sue, desperate to get away, suggested they read the comments in private and, after thanking the team almost ran out of the room.

The Centre staff remained in their seats, each looking at the other as if daring someone to be the first to glimpse. Raines began to read his sheet, the rest of the group stayed in their seats as some morbid fascination overcame them. Raines began to turn red gradually, his anger rising and in exact correlation the other delegates curiosity rose too.

Miss Parker held back a smirk, years of practice at hiding her feelings coming in handy. She had struggled for something positive to put about the old wheezebag herself and wondered what the others had put - someone had obviously not been too kind. She noted Broots was fidgeting in his seat - surely he didn't have the balls to...? She got up quickly, uttering it was time that she, Broots and Sidney got back to the office, and made a move towards the door.

"Don't move!", Raines snarled. Miss Parker stood still. Waving the sheet in his hand, "Who wrote this?" he demanded. No-one else in the room dared breathe never mind speak, except Mr Parker.

"Wrote what?", he questioned.

Raines made a strange face. He didn't want the whole group to know what had been written. A prolonged silence set over the group.

It was Mr Parker who eventually broke the silence by suggesting that, if Raines had nothing further to add, they should all head home. A relieved group fled the scene, with a frustrated Raines, and stoney faced Willie, shouting after them that he WOULD find the culprit.

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Miss Parker, Sidney and Broots were sat in Parker's car. "Was it you, Broots ?"

"No!"

"Why would you think it was Broots?" Sidney asked.

"He was squirming in his seat."

"I wasn't ! It was Brigette, she was making me feel uncomfortable."

"One would of thought that the culprit would have kept a cool exterior", Sidney commented with a grin playing at the sides of his mouth.

"It was you, wasn't it?", she grinned. "What did you write?"

"I was suggesting that it was you!"

Broots, who had been quietly contemplating all the possible ways Raines could make his life even more unbearable, spoke up at this point, "Man, I hope it was neither of you cos we'll all be paying for it. Whatever it was."

Miss Parker started the car and set off on the journey home adding, "Yeah but it would be worth it to know exactly what was written."

"I would be more interested in the who, than the what." Sidney said. "If it's not one of us, then who?"

"Lyle's too much of a brown nose to have done it." Miss Parker sneered. "And Daddy would never have done it"

"Ah but he did clear the room quickly", Sidney added. "What about Brigette?"

Miss Parker swung round a corner expertly, "She was too busy toying with Broots"

Broots gave a nervous smile, "I wish she wouldn't do that, especially in front of your father"

"Well that leaves Sam and Willie." Sidney exclaimed.

"I think they both know not to cross the line", Miss Parker stated. "So we're not any closer are we? Unless it was you Sid and you're just diverting the attention away from yourself?" she added with a smile.

"That would be the thing to do if I were the culprit, wouldn't it?" Sid chuckled.

THE END

Well??

Based on a true story. Though obviously not one involving characters from a tv show. Characters that I have no rights to by the way - I was just borrowing them to illustrate a little anecdote.