Part Twelve

Christmas had proven to be a slightly fraught affair. The family spent a few days in Kansas at Grant and Josie's farm. On the surface, things seemed fine, however, Josie was concerned for Lucy. She seemed exhausted and spent most of Christmas day napping, unusual for someone who loved an excuse such as a holiday to have fun. Josie knew that Lucy had been told to take things easy with this pregnancy, but that didn't explain the excessive tiredness. Josie also noticed that there seemed to be an atmosphere between Lucy and Jeff. Despite making a point of not involving herself in her son's marriage, Josie took Lucy aside.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. Lucy looked surprised and a little suspicious at the question.

"Yes, it's fine," she replied, though in her heart she knew that it wasn't quite the truth. There was an undercurrent of irritability between herself and Jeff and as the new year progressed, they seemed to be arguing with increasing frequency. Not big rows, but silly little arguments, the kind every couple had occasionally. The difference was that they weren't rowing occasionally, more like every other day. It was usually forgotten a short time later, but then something else seemed to crop up. That they loved each other was never in any doubt, but they had fallen into a somewhat routine and stressful existence, and it was suiting neither of them. Jeff was putting in long hours and lots of travel to maintain his business interests, alongside still taking weekends away for his military activities, leaving Lucy feeling little more than a housewife, which bored her. The boys were a handful, playing up to their father's increasing absence and seeming to sense the tension between their parents, the one she was carrying sapped her energy even further and she had little time to do writing or any of the other things that allowed her a break from "being Mrs Tracy". Her friend Karen was now a mother herself, though her own marriage was a short-lived affair. She didn't want to see her bestie go down the same route, however, and in their next call assured Lucy that everything would be fine.

"Both of you could do with a break from the kids," Karen said. "When the baby's old enough, you should go away somewhere by yourselves."

"Maybe you're right," Lucy said. "I suppose we've done well to get this far before hitting a bad patch."

"Anyway, how's the fifth Tracy Junior doing?" Karen asked.

"I think I'm going to give birth to the next Jackie Chan," Lucy replied. "It's worse than Scott was." Despite everything, all was calm as she and Jeff walked through a suburb of Boston together, taking advantage of a rare child-free day to do some last-minute shopping before the latest addition to the family was born. They moved slowly down the street, looking into the shop windows as they passed. Jeff sensed Lucy was flagging and was about to suggest that they go and take a break in a café when she grabbed his arm.

"Jeff, it's started," she said.

"Already?" Jeff said, surprised. The due date was several days away. Except for Gordon's forced entrance into the world, the other boys had been on or over their expected dates.

"He didn't exactly ask my permission," Lucy replied, testily.

"Okay, give me your bags and I'll get a cab," Jeff said, wisely choosing to ignore her snippiness. There was little point in trying to go all the way back to where they had left their car. Lucy held onto his arm as they moved to the roadside, where Jeff hailed a taxi. He put the shopping in the front seat, then made sure Lucy was comfortable before getting in himself.

"Patterson Maternity Center, please," Jeff said. The taxi driver took one look at Lucy and nodded.

"You got it," he said, and sped off, only to hit bad traffic five minutes later. There had just been an accident at an intersection.

"Can't you go another way?" Jeff asked.

"It's all one way round here. If we can get a little further down the road then we can turn off," the driver said. Fifteen minutes passed in relative silence. They hadn't budged an inch. Lucy suddenly gasped and clutched at the headrest in front of her.

"Luce?" Jeff asked, alarmed.

"I don't think I'm going to make the hospital," she groaned. Jeff and the taxi driver just looked at her blankly.

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked, shaking himself out of his stupor first.

"The baby's not going to wait," Lucy said, making sure that the two men understood. She began to wriggle herself into a more comfortable position. The taxi driver stared at her.

"Umm…lady, can't you like, er…cross your legs?"

"How about I cross your legs around your neck?" Lucy glared. Jeff hushed her and spoke to the driver.

"Look, you need to get us out of this traffic," he said.

"But my car…" the driver began.

"I'll pay for it. Heck, I'll get you a new car if you like. Just get us to that medical centre. I don't care how," Jeff commanded with all the authority of his military background. The taxi driver hesitated, looked at Lucy again then gritted his teeth and pulled the car out of the traffic jam, onto the pavement and down a side street, hoping that no cops caught sight of him. Once on a clear road again, he put his foot down.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Keep driving," Jeff said. He turned his attention to Lucy, who had her back pressed against him. He had hold of her hand and tried to support her the best he could in the conditions. The baby might be coming quickly, but it certainly wasn't painlessly. He was thankful that this wasn't their first child and both him and Lucy therefore knew what to do. After some twenty minutes, the taxi finally pulled in at the hospital entrance. The driver hopped out and ran into the hospital to fetch a doctor. He came running back out to the taxi and opened the door with the intention of helping Lucy out, only instead to find himself catching something. He looked down at his arms and saw that he was holding a squealing baby.

"Here, use this." Jeff snapped the driver out of his gaze. He looked up and saw that Jeff had taken off his jacket and was holding it out for him. The driver wrapped the baby up in it the best he could and handed it to Lucy.

"Congratulations," he squeaked, looking more dazed than Lucy herself did. She smiled lovingly at her newest son and then looked at the driver.

"David Seaman couldn't have caught that better," she said.

"Who?" the driver asked.

"It doesn't matter," Lucy said, still smiling. "Thank you…"

"Al. Alan Kolinsky."

"Thank you, Alan."

"Yes, thanks a lot," Jeff said, peering over Lucy's shoulder at the driver. He tried to get a look at the bundle nestled in her arms. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I think so," she replied, a little tiredly. The medics arrived and shooed Al out of the way so they could deal with Lucy and the baby. Everything checked out, and Lucy was allowed to rest.

"Five boys," she said, with a sense of disbelief. "Although, I suppose if we'd had a girl now, she'd be spoilt to death." Jeff looked up from the new-born in his arms and smiled at her.

"I'm sure he'll be spoilt to death anyway, being the youngest," Jeff said. He passed the new addition back to Lucy. "He's lovely, Sweetie."

"Yes, he is," she said, stroking the baby's cheek. She then looked back at Jeff.

"You know that we were thinking of Marty as a name…" she began.

"I think Speedy Gonzalez would be more appropriate," Jeff interjected. Lucy laughed.

"Well, I think we should call him Alan instead."

"After the taxi driver?"

"Yes, and it still keeps your astronaut line up unspoilt, so…"

"It's up to you. I don't mind."

"If you're not keen…" Lucy began, but Jeff sat next to her and put an arm affectionately around her.

"The deal's never changed. You get to choose as long as it's a Mercury Seven name."

"Alan it is, then," she smiled.


Al the taxi driver dropped by later to check up on Lucy and the baby and was delighted and touched to discover that the baby had been named after him. Jeff kept his promise of looking after Al's expenses. The older boys were ecstatic about their new brother and argued over who got to look after him. Alan, on his part, seemed unappreciative of their efforts. He was a very demanding baby, who never seemed to go more than a couple of hours before deciding he wanted feeding or changing or simply someone to give him some attention. He drove his parents up the wall despite their devotion to him and did nothing to ease the underlying difficulty between them that had returned since the new baby feelings had gone away. Something had to give, and it did, spectacularly. Neither Lucy nor Jeff could have said which one of them started the row, but it blew up with all the force of a hurricane. They made a point to never quarrel in front of the boys, but it must have been unavoidable for them to hear it even though they were upstairs in bed. In all their years together, they'd never had a fight that was so bad it led to Jeff storming out of the house and left Lucy in tears. Yet, like after any storm, a sort of calm seemed to descend. Jeff returned home a couple of hours later, feeling ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he had upset his wife so much, ashamed that he had let things get so out of control. Sure, air your grievances, but there were more civilized ways of doing it. He went up to the bedroom, expecting Lucy to be asleep, but she wasn't. She hadn't even got changed for bed but was lying on top of the covers. Jeff looked at her, for once unsure what to say. She sat up.

"I think we need to talk."

"Yes," Jeff said. "Tomorrow…"

"No, now. I don't care if we're up the rest of the night; we need to sort this out. Things should never have got this far," Lucy said, adamantly. She got off the bed and faced him.

"We'll go downstairs and discuss things over a drink," she said. Jeff simply nodded in agreement and followed her. They sat down at the kitchen table and began a lengthy talk, only interrupted once by Alan.

"I don't like being away from home so much," Jeff said, as the conversation turned to his business.

"I know you don't. I don't like it any more than you do; neither do the boys. It's affecting them," Lucy said. She looked him in the eyes.

"When you set up the business and we agreed you could keep up your flying… That was fine then, but things have changed and we've not adapted. I know how much the business means to you, and how much effort you've put into it and I'm proud of you for making it a success. I'm also grateful that it means we can be comfortable, financially. But, don't you think you're at the point where it's time you got some people to run things for you?"

"Believe me, the thought has crossed my mind, Luce, but I don't know if I could let that happen," Jeff said.

"You can't continue to be everywhere at once, especially not if you want to expand further," Lucy replied. "I'm not saying hand over the reins, but would it be so painful to let someone else take charge of certain aspects?" Jeff pressed his lips together. He knew that Lucy was right. But he had been completely in charge since the beginning and he didn't like the idea of other people taking over parts of his job. Yet how could he hope to continue his business plans properly by trying to run everything himself simultaneously? Mentally, Jeff found himself banging his head against a wall, telling himself to wake up. He was the first to admit that he didn't like the position he found himself in workwise and besides, what was more important to him? The damn company or his family? If it were the former, he may as well offer Lucy a divorce right now. He bit his lip, hating that the thought even crossed his mind. So why was he procrastinating so much that he was in danger of making it happen? He found his mind going back to when he was stranded on the island in the Pacific. He wouldn't have survived that if he hadn't believed in other people being able to do a good job. And going to the moon – that was a success due to teamwork, not any one person. The realisation dawned on him just how much the determination to succeed had blinkered him on this occasion. He looked back at Lucy.

"I'll sit down and work something out this weekend," he promised, absolutely meaning it. It was time to stop pushing back his innovative ideas about distance working and put them into practice.

"Good," Lucy said. There was a brief silence before Jeff offered to make some fresh coffee. After that, the conversation turned to the boys, then Lucy herself.

"I've never felt as if I had a chance to recover properly from Gordon's birth," she admitted. "Having Alan has just completely drained me. I know that Scott and Virg are at school, and Elizabeth is great at helping out with the others and around the house, but I feel like I've left myself somewhere else. I feel like I'm watching myself do things, not actually doing them."

"You should have said something," Jeff scolded. "I knew you were tired, but if I'd known it was that bad, I'd have done something about it."

"I didn't want to complain, what with you sorting out the company and both of us dealing with the boys and everything else. Besides, I'm not supposed to say things like 'I want to take a break from my kids', am I?" she said, dryly. Jeff took a sip of his coffee.

"Is that what you want?" he asked. Lucy hesitated, as if she wished she hadn't said anything.

"I… Oh, you know that I love the boys more than anything. It's just that… I want some time to myself," she eventually managed to say, not without feeling guilty. Jeff placed a hand on hers.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," he tried to reassure her. "You deserve it." Lucy took a breath.

"I want to go back to the UK for a little bit. This is going to sound really pathetic but," she smiled at him, bashfully. "I want my mum."

"We'll arrange something for as soon as possible." Jeff didn't even give it a second thought.

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked.

"Yes. It'll do you the world of good. I wish I'd thought of it myself for you," Jeff told her. There was another silence, however both felt happier than they had done in a long while. Lucy looked at Jeff's hand still on her own. She placed her other hand on top of his.

"Friends?" she asked. Jeff put his other hand on hers.

"Friends," he said, smiling at her in a way that, for a moment, reminded her of when they first met. She returned the smile and glanced at the kitchen clock.

"I think we should go to bed now," she said, standing up. Jeff stifled a yawn.

"That's a good suggestion," he said. They returned to their bedroom, feeling spent now the tension was broken, and fell asleep still holding each other's hands.


Two months later and Lucy was back under the sunny skies of Kent. Despite her earlier wish to take a break from the boys, she had changed her mind as the departure date neared. Jeff made her take the trip, reminding her that it had been a while since she'd been back to England and that there were people there who would be glad to see her. Lucy had grudgingly gone ahead, though she had been very reluctant to leave Alan behind. But, if she were to be properly rested, then the baby had to stay put. Naturally, Caroline was overjoyed that Lucy was coming to visit, albeit alone. Lucy was pleased to see her mother too, though she still couldn't work out why she'd felt an almost overwhelming need to be in her presence. Of course, she loved her mother, but she'd never been emotionally dependent on her. Perhaps it was because she was feeling so drained, some sort of instinct had come to life.

The first night there, she had fallen into a deep sleep, the first undisturbed sleep she had had for longer than she could remember. Caroline was not impressed by her daughter's state of fatigue, however with some effort she refrained from commenting upon it. She knew that Lucy would not allow any criticism of Jeff, especially if it was to do with herself or the boys, and the last thing Caroline wanted right now was to get into a disagreement with her daughter. And after all, what did Caroline know of the ins and outs of Lucy's life these days? Although they tried to see each other at least once a year, and were not slow in other communication, it wasn't the same as if they lived a smaller distance apart. Five grandsons, yet how well did Caroline really know them? She was as fond of them as she could be, however it would be true to say that she was much closer to her son's daughter, Miranda. Peter had had the sense to stay within a reasonable distance, not go gallivanting off without a care for those left behind. Still, it had been a while since she had been able to organise both her children together – a lunch with the extended family was planned for the following weekend - and she was more than happy that for once Lucille was accepting of being fussed over. She could see a difference in Lucy already after a few day's rest and hadn't objected to her going to visit her friend, Karen.

"So, definitely no plans for a reserve for your five-a-side footie team?"

"The day they're interested in soccer… No, Alan is absolutely the last one."

"I remember you settling at three."

"We did, but then Gordon happened, and Alan snuck in there. But given what I went through with Gordon, and then Alan, I think I've had my fair share. Jeff…" She trailed off and made a scissoring motion with her fingers. Karen chuckled.

"Who'd have thought you'd end up with five kids."

"Oh, I know. I couldn't even imagine being mother to one child before Scott. But I love them all so much. Even though it's really hard at times, especially with them being so different from each other. They all know how to wind each other up. But then, that's part of the fun, watching them grow into little people." They were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the front door.

"That'll be Sam," Karen said, and went to answer it. Sam was her new partner. Karen introduced him to Lucy and the three of them chatted away. Sam turned to Lucy whilst Karen refilled their drinks.

"Karen says that you've been over in the States for a few years now."

"Yeah, I have. Eleven years this fall," Lucy told him.

"You can tell. She's got a real American twang in her voice these days," teased Karen, sitting down.

"I haven't!" Lucy said, looking almost mortified. Karen laughed at her expression.

"If you heard yourself say what you just said to Sam, you'd know you have. It's not that strong really. You slip in and out of it with certain words."

"Mum said something the other day, but I thought she was joking," Lucy said.

"You still sound English, but not quite," Karen said, and screwed up her face. "Oh…what's the word for it?" She looked at Sam for help.

"Transatlantic?" he offered.

"Yes, that's it," Karen said. She smiled at Lucy. "You're transatlantic."

"Thank you," Lucy replied, genially. Although she was enjoying catching up with people and it was lovely to have some time to herself, she still missed the boys and their father. It was nice to see her niece again though. She hadn't seen her since she was a little baby. Miranda was less than six months older than Gordon and a pretty child, with large hazel-brown eyes, like Lucy's, and blonde curls. Lucy's brother professed that his daughter would likely be an only child; he wasn't keen to emulate his sister and neither was his wife.


After another week, it was time for Lucy to go home to her own family. The trip had done her a world of good, and she returned feeling rejuvenated and with some sparkle back in her eyes. Her sons were just as excited to see her and so it was something of a noisy homecoming, which suited her just fine.

"I bet you want a vacation after looking after the rabble," she said to Jeff later, once the novelty had worn off for the boys of their mother being home and they'd dispersed to amuse themselves. Her husband laughed and put his arms around her.

"Well, it's not a vacation, but as we've got a special date coming up, I've made plans."

"Oh?" Lucy raised an eyebrow. "And what are those?"

"You'll have to wait and see," Jeff said.

"That's not fair," Lucy pouted, putting her arms around his neck.

"It'll be a nice day," Jeff said. His eyes took on a certain wicked gleam. "Maybe even a nice night too."

"Hmm… I don't know about that," Lucy said, in mock disapproval. They sniggered between themselves, both glad to be back in affectionate territory with each other rather than the antagonism that had marked the first part of the year. They moved to exchange a kiss. However, their lips had scarcely met before they heard giggling from the doorway.

"Alright, who's there?" Lucy demanded, light-heartedly. The spy decided to take flight instead of revealing themselves. Lucy decided from the sound of the footsteps running down the hallway that it was most likely to be Virgil, who delighted in loudly telling his grandmother the last time he'd seen her that,

"Daddy pinched Mommy's bottom whilst she was doing the washing up!" Which was a fact that Jeff and Lucy would have preferred not to have had disclosed over dinner with Grant, Josie, Grant's sister, her husband and their son and his wife. Virgil may be a thoughtful little boy, but he was not above a bit of cheekiness on occasion. Lucy shook her head and flicked the door shut with her foot so that any more prying eyes would be stopped. She put her arms back around Jeff.

"Where were we?" she asked.


The view from the window was fantastic. Jeff stood looking out at the scenery. The lights of the city seemed to twinkle, but maybe that was due to the nice wine he and Lucy had had with their dinner. For their tenth wedding anniversary, Jeff had taken Lucy back to New York, where they had first met. He had treated her to all kinds of activities during the day, plus an evening meal and a dance, and had also booked a suite in one of the city's top hotels for them to stay in. Lucy joined him at the window, an arm encircling his waist.

"You spoil me too much," she said, gazing at the view. Jeff kissed the top of her head.

"I don't think I spoil you enough," he replied. Lucy just smiled at him. They stood there for a little while longer before Lucy, always the first one to tire of standing still, pulled Jeff away from the window and into the middle of the room where she got him into a slow sort of waltz. Obviously, she wasn't tired of dancing yet.

"There's some champagne waiting to be drunk and a Jacuzzi waiting to be used," she grinned, mischievously.

"Always with the impulsiveness," Jeff answered, pulling her close. She looked up at him.

"Well, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be here," she smiled, fiddling with the top couple of buttons on his shirt.

"I know," Jeff replied.

"I'd have stayed in England and probably be stuck in some really boring job, and you'd be married to some other woman," Lucy said, undoing another button.

"After I met you? I don't think so," Jeff replied.

"We hardly knew each other after that night."

"I knew enough," Jeff smiled. "Anyway, you're the one who moved to a strange country to live with a man you only met in person a few times."

"You invited me," Lucy answered, a playful look in her hazel-brown eyes. "I could have been putting on an act for all you knew. I could have been some weird psychotic woman."

"You're not anyway?" Jeff asked, putting on a show of surprise. Lucy gave a gentle slap to his chest.

"Watch it," she said, undoing the rest of the shirt buttons. Jeff was forced to let go of her as she slipped his shirt off. She dropped the garment on the floor and then took hold of his hands, looking into his cobalt eyes.

"I'm lucky to have such a kind, loving, although sometimes curmudgeonly husband."

"And I'm lucky to have you as my amazing, charming but sometimes impudent wife," he fired back, lovingly. Her grin widened.

"Rocket Man."

"Tickle Monster."

"Stud Muffin."

"Peach Butt."

"Oof, not these days." She wrinkled her nose slightly. He slid his hands onto her backside.

"Feels just fine to me." He wrapped her in an embrace again and looked for the zip on her dress. Lucy stopped him.

"Don't you think that we should draw the blinds first?" she asked. Although it was unlikely that someone would be able to see in, Jeff heeded his wife's suggestion. He turned to find that she had disappeared into the bathroom with the champagne. He smiled to himself and followed her.


Later, the champagne had disappeared, and the couple were in bed, Lucy curled up in Jeff's arms and Jeff lazily stroking her soft russet hair. He could never tire of the feeling of her bare skin against his. She was still beautiful to him, still everything to him.

"I hope the next ten years are as good as the first ten years," he said to her. She grunted sleepily in response, but it sounded like an agreement. Satisfied, Jeff kissed her and turned off the light by the bed.