To Hate to Love

Author's Notes : This is the part two of my story in Xel's POV. Oh, it is also Fi/Xel. Enjoy and review!

What is love? Sore wa himistu desu! ^_^

Ok, ok.Fine, I'll talk. Just don't sing that horrid song.

Being a Mazoku, I'm not exactly the best "person" to ask that question to. After all, my idea of a good time includes death, destruction and misfortune. (quite tasty, too ^^)

Love.echhh. The thought of that pure emotion makes me sick, turn green even.

Mazokus were not created for love or to even have a heart. Zelas-sama created me for the sole purpose of being her priest and to carry out her biddings. I am her servant, her son you could say, and I go on the missions she assigns and create the destruction that I "love" to cause. The blood, the chaos, the screams for mercy.it's invigorating, really.

And I have forever to create it. ^_^

What is with humans, anyway? They turn all google-eyed and happy when they are in love. It's pitiful, really. They live such a short lifespan, and yet they spend it trying to find their "one true love." A waste of time, in my opinion.

Take Lina-tachi for example. Lina-san and Gourry-san obviously love each other, but Lina-san is too proud and scared to admit it, and Gourry-san is afraid that Lina will get mad and fireball him. (I'm a Mazoku, doesn't mean I'm naïve.) Amelia-san and Zelly-san is another fine example. Amelia-san shows her affection openly (.) but Zelly-san is too obsessed with his curse and his depression to let Amelia-san love him. See, these humans waste their lives pretending they don't feel what they obviously do.

That brings me to another member of Lina-tachi.the golden dragon ex- priestess.Filia Ul Copt. Even though she is a Ryuzoku, she was not like those stuffy old elders of hers. I do admit, she was very attractive, with those cerulean eyes and long blonde hair. However, the most attractive part of her was her anger. It was absolutely delicious, the best thing I have ever tasted.

Her anger caused me to tease her more and more, just for the chance for her to whip out her mace and swing it at me. The pain caused when she hit me.ahhh.it was delectable.

She was a refreshing change to those other dragons. She had their high and mighty pride that the stuffy bags instilled in her, and her reference to me as "raw garage" was just.a little.annoying.

In fact, at the time I did hate her. Nobody could call me "namagomi" and live to tell the tale, and yet, she managed to do it all the time and remain unscathed. She was the attractive dragon that I hated.

Yet, somehow, as Lina-tachi got closer to the defeat of Darkstar, I found things changing. I developed a slight.affection, per se.for her. My hate slowly disappeared until I found her as a companion.

I don't know what "love" is supposed to feel like, because I have never experienced it before. However, I found myself paying more attention to her and feeling.sad.when she called me "namagomi."

I really didn't think anything of these emotions, and ignored them at first. But soon, at the end of the Darkstar campaign, I realized that I had a special interest in the dragon, more than any of Lina-tachi and stronger than any of those "friendship" I created with them.

After the Darkstar deal, I didn't see much of her, or Lina-tachi, due to the fact that I was very busy following my master's orders.

However, I soon received word of the deaths of Lina-san, Gourry-san, Amelia- san, and even Zelgadis-san around the same time.

I decided to attend the funeral and that's where I saw her for the first time in over 100 years. I stood by a tree, a great length away from the funeral itself, and there she was, dressed in black, her blue eyes shimmering with sadness and grief. The ceremony finished rather quickly and I went over to her to see how she was doing (I know, not like me, but I was feeling rather odd at the moment.)

She looked straight up at me and I found myself opening my eyes, just to look at hers. The grief rolled off of her in waves, but I barely noticed. All I could see was the tears that she tried to hide from me, and a sadness greater than anything I ever imagined came over me.

Before I could say a word, she had collapsed into my arms, crying her eyes out. I was uncomfortable and confused at first (Not many dragon maidens ever cried in my arms) but soon I tentatively wrapped my arms around her and held her, trying to offer her some comfort. My hand automatically went to her hair and started stroking those golden locks, much to my astonishment, but I soon relaxed and just held her.

After her tears subsided, she tensed up slightly and pushed away from my embrace, both of us feeling a bit awkward. I looked back down in those cerulean eyes of hers and an understanding passed between us.

Without another word, we turned away from one another and walked in opposite directions, and I teleported away as soon as I was out of sight of humans.

It's been over 25 years since I've seen her, after that day. I wanted to visit her often (I had seen her a little when she was raising Val) but my duties prevented it.

It's funny really.a high-ranking Mazoku such as myself shouldn't have thought so much of a weak golden dragon maiden. Yet, she was in my thoughts, more than I wanted her to be.

I lied when I said I hated her. She's still a righteous dragon and I do and always will detest her greatly.

Love.I'll tell you what love means to me.

It's just another pure emotion that hurts us Mazoku.they say we're evil, that's a lie. Love is evil...it plagues the mind and doesn't go away even when one shouldn't feel it in the first place.

Yes, one like me. One who isn't supposed to love, who wasn't made to love; one who feels its painful effects everyday. For, I have loved Filia Ul Copt longer than I would ever deem possible.

And the truth of the matter is..

I hate her for the fact that I love her.

AN: Well, that's Xellos' side of the story. I'm sorry if it's OOC, but I tried to make Xellos as in character as possible. So, please read and review. ^_^