A short while later, Forge was decked out in his sheriff's outfit, complete with a tin sheriff's star badge and a leather saddle for his horse that said Gucci on the side.

"Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!" he said. "My compliments to the costuming department!"

"Just be careful with those," said Rahne, who was in charge of all the costumes. "We can't afford to do any alterations if your drill causes any tears,"

"Not to worry, I'll have it back without so much as a loose thread," Forge said.

The camera started rolling and Forge rode through the mock desert. As he rode, a big band played a swanky tune in the background. Forge rode up to the band, being led by the legendary Count Basie (a reproduction, of course), and gave the famous band leader a wave. Basie grinned at Forge and wished him good luck in his new gig, and Forge rode on.

Meanwhile, in Bayville, the whole town had turned out to greet their new sheriff. A welcoming platform had been set up in the town square, and festive banners were strewn across the fronts of the buildings. The platform had a large banner that read "Welcome Sheriff!" across in big red letters.

Jean Johnson quickly ran up the steps of the platform, where the welcoming committee was assembled.

"I just got a telegram from the governor's office!" she shouted, gasping for breath. "The sheriff will be here at noon!" She turned to Jubilee and they started chatting.

"Noon!" exclaimed Scott Johnson. "I'd better rehearse my speech!"

He took off his hat and pulled a folded piece of paper out of his hat, opened it up, and began to recite his speech.

"As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend to you a laurel, and hardy handshake. Oh, come on! That's the worst pun I've ever heard!"

"Hey, I don't remember writing that last part, do any of you?" Jamie asked his writers sarcastically. "Stick to the script!"

Scott shook his head and looked over the speech one more time to make sure he was ready.

"Hey, Logan, can you see him yet?" Warren Johnson called up to Logan. Logan was standing on top of the saloon, holding a telescope in his hand and keeping an eye out for the sheriff.

Logan took a look through his telescope and caught sight of a figure approaching on horseback.

"The sheriff's coming!" he said, his speech still hampered by the wads of cotton in his cheeks.

"Ring out the church bells!" shouted Kurt, waving his hat in the air.

"Strike up the band!" ordered Scott. The bells began to ring and a small brass band began playing a merry tune, and the townsfolk began celebrating and clapping along in time.

Logan took another look through his telescope. He was able to see Forge much clearer now. He also saw the light reflecting off of the drill on his arm.

"Hey!" Logan called out in alarm. "The sheriff is a mutie!"

Unfortunately, the church bell clanged loudly, drowning out his last word.

"What'd he say?" Warren asked over the noise.

"The sheriff is near!" Jean shouted back.

"No, god-blame it, dang-blam it!" Logan shouted, jumping up and down so furiously that he nearly fell off the roof. "The sheriff is a," CLANG!, went the bells again.

Down below, the people continued to celebrate, oblivious to Forge's identity. They cheered as he rode his horse down the main street of the town, but suddenly fell silent as they noticed his peculiar feature. The band stopped playing and gawked at him as he approached. The crowd watched him in stunned silence as he rode up to the platform.

On the platform, Jean and Kurt stared slack-jawed at Forge. Scott was looking down at his speech and didn't see Forge's drill arm. He started reading.

"As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee," he said, holding out the laurel. "It is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hardy handshake to our new,"

He finally looked up and saw Forge's drill, and his face dropped.

"Mutie," he finished, glumly, as across the street, Sam fell out of his chair in shock.

Somebody yanked on the side of the banner on the front of the platform, and it rolled up and out of sight.

Forge climbed down from his horse and walked over to the platform. He pulled the banner back down, made his way through the crowd, who were more than eager to get out of his way, and climbed up the steps. Jean pulled Jubilee back as Forge walked to the center of the platform.

"'Scuse me while I whip this out!" he said, reaching inside his pants. Everybody in the crowd quickly turned their heads. Several women in the crowd screamed in terror, and Jean covered Jubilee's face with her hat.

Forge pulled a piece of paper out of his pants and began to read it as the crowd calmed down.

"By the power vested in me," Forge read. "By the honorable Jamie M Lepetomaine,"

"Hey, that was great!" Jamie said. "Read that part again.

"By the honorable Jamie M Lepetomaine," Forge repeated.

"Mmm, yeah! One more time!" Jamie said.

"Hey, we don't have all the film in the world, Jamie," Ray said from behind the camera.

"Oh, all right," Jamie muttered. "Keep going,"

Before Forge could continue, he heard the sound of several triggers being cocked as everybody in the square started loading their guns.

"I hereby assume," he said, nervously as Scott and Jean pointed their guns at his head. "The office and duties of sheriff in and for the township of Bayville,"

"Gentlemen, gentlemen!" Kurt shouted. "Let us not allow anger to rule the day! As your spiritual leader, I urge you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to say!"

He held his Bible over his head, but Bobby and Roberto aimed their guns and blew it to pieces.

"Cool!" they shouted, slapping hands.

Kurt looked at Forge as tattered bits of paper started raining down from the sky. "Son, you're on your own,"

Thinking quickly, Forge drew his own gun and pointed it at his head. "Hold it!" he said in a deep, angry voice. "Anybody makes a move, the mutie gets it!"

The townsfolk all got confused looks on their faces.

"Hold it, men," Jean said. "He's not bluffing!"

"Listen to him, men!" said Warren. "He's just crazy enough to do it!"

"Drop it!" Forge demanded. "Or I swear I'll blow this mutie's head all over this town!" Then he switched his voice, sounding very frightened.

"Oh lordy lord, he's desperate! Do what he say, do what he say!" he pleaded, wide-eyed.

Forge's bluff worked. Scott and the other actors all slowly lowered their guns.

Forge slowly walked down off the platform, still pointing the gun at his throat.

"Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?" Jubilee asked.

"Hush, Harriet!" Warren said. "That's a sure way to get him killed!"

Forge backed up to the sheriff's office, still playing terrified.

"Oh, oh! Help me!" he shouted. "Hep me, hep me, hep me!"

He switched his voice again. "Shut up!" he shouted in the deep, gravelly voice, and clapped his free hand over his mouth. He reached back behind himself, opened the door, backed into the office, and shut the door.

Once inside, he holstered his gun. "Oh, baby!" he said. "You are so talented. And they are so dumb!"

"And cut!" Jamie shouted.

"Hey, can I get down from here now?" Logan asked, spitting out the cotton. "I'm afraid of heights!"

"Wouldn't it have made more sense to have ME be the lookout?" Warren asked.

"In real life, yes," Jamie said, ignoring Logan's cries for help. "But Logan speaks better gibberish, so he got the part,"

"Hey, somebody get me down from here!" Logan shouted as the crew started to change the set for the next scene, pulling the ladder away from the side of the building and leaving Logan trapped on the roof.

X

A while later, they were shooting the next scene in the town hall. The townsfolk were all quarreling loudly among themselves and Kurt was having a hard time keeping the meeting running.

"Order," he said, tapping the gavel lightly. The people ignored him.

"Order!" Kurt shouted again. Again, no effect.

"God damn it, I said order!" he screamed at the top of his lungs and pounding the gavel on the table as hard as he could. He hit it so hard that he bruised his fingers.

"You know," said Scott as Kurt rubbed his sore fingers. "Nietzsche says out of chaos comes order,"

"Oh, blow it out your ass, Scott," said Jean. "God, I've wanted to tell you that for so long!"

"What?" Scott asked.

"You're so full of yourself!" she shouted back. "You can't figure out how much I love you!"

"Then why are you spending all your time with Duncan?" Scott asked her.

"Hey, people, this isn't Springer!" Jamie shouted. "Let's not have this fight now, ok?"

"Fine," they both said, glaring at each other.

"Now, everyone be quiet!" Kurt insisted. "While we listen to Jubilee Van Johnson, our esteemed school teacher, as she reads a telegram that she herself has composed to the governor, expressing our feelings about the new sheriff," His voice grew angrier and angrier with each word.

The crowd clapped as Jubilee walked up to the platform.

"To the honorable Jamie M Lepetomaine, governor," she began softly.

"Speak up!" shouted the crowd.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm not used to public speaking. Lord knows you people hardly let me say a single word in real life!"

"We, the human, god-fearing people of Bayville!" she continued, at the top of her lungs. Everybody was so taken aback at hearing what Jubilee's voice sounded like that they started.

"Wish to express our extreme displeasure at your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately!"

The crowd nodded their approval as Jubilee read on.

"The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state!" she finished, then turned to Jamie.

"Jamie, I'm sorry! You know I didn't mean it! I'm just reading the script!" she pleaded, terrified that Jamie would fire her for such an outburst.

"Hey, take it easy!" Jamie said. "It's not your fault Bobby wrote that junk! Bobby! Come here!" he shouted.

Bobby walked up to Jamie's director's chair nervously.

"Why did you have her call my character an asshole?" he asked angrily.

"I thought that would be the best way of expressing," Bobby began, but Jamie cut him off.

"Well, you're fired for thinking!" he roared, sitting in his chair like it was a throne. "Now get off my set!"

"Fine!" Bobby shouted back. "I'll go work for Todd Fan! She appreciates my work!"

"Oh no you don't!" Jamie shouted back. "Take a look at your contract, you're expressly forbidden from doing any more scenes with her! Now hit the bricks!"

Bobby looked at him sullenly as he realized that his own career might have just taken a permanent detour.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" Bobby said. "I'll make it to the screen one day, just you wait!" He turned and walked out of the Danger Room in a huff.

"Good riddance!" Jamie said. "Well, I think we've had enough excitement for now. Everybody take an hour for lunch, and we'll start back up in the afternoon!"

Everybody started walking off the set to go to lunch. Sam hit the lights as he walked out, and the Danger Room went dark.

"Hello!" Logan shouted, still stuck on the roof. "Hello? I'm still up here! It's dark and I can't see where I'm going! Somebody come back and get me off this roof so I can go to lunch! I'm not jumping down! Hello? Anybody?"