Jamie sat in his director's chair, nervously drumming his fingers together.
Scott, Remy, Jean, and Rogue were all very late returning from Todd Fan's
set, and he was beginning to get nervous. His deadline was getting closer
and closer with every passing second, and he had very little time to waste.
The door to the Danger Room opened and the four mutants walked in.
"Finally!" said Jamie. "How did the big climax go, anyway?" he asked them.
"Great!" shouted Rogue and Jean. "Don't ask!" groaned Scott, still feeling nauseous at what had transpired in his final scene of Mutants in Tights.
"Well, get changed and get on the set quick. We've got to get this scene in the can fast!" Jamie urged.
"Can't Remy at least take a little nap first? Saving the day makes Remy tired," Remy said.
"No! Now get changed!"
X
Forge walked through the sunny streets of Bayville. It was a beautiful day out, and there wasn't a hint of trouble anywhere.
He walked past the repaired public showers, and saw Wanda approaching.
"Good morning, ma'am!" Forge greeted her. "Isn't it a lovely morning?"
Wanda glared at Forge. "Up yours, mutie!" she snapped, and walked off.
Maybe it isn't such a beautiful day after all, Forge thought, and walked dejectedly back to his office.
Inside, Remy consoled him.
"What did you expect?" he asked. "Welcome, son? Make yourself at home? Marry my daughter? You gotta remember dat dese are just simple farmers. De're people of de land. De common clay of de new west. You know, morons,"
Forge snickered at this comment. Suddenly, the ground began to shake.
"What the hell is that?" he asked aloud.
Outside, Fred rode into town atop a white bull. The ground shook with each step the bull took.
Roberto caught sight of Fred and panicked. "Santa Maria!" he shouted. "It's Fred!" Terrified, he ran away as fast as he could, but ran into Logan after only three steps.
On a nearby street corner, Ray was hawking wares when he saw Fred. "Holy shit!" he shouted, and the crowd scattered in terror.
Inside the saloon, Scott was talking to Jean and Sam, who was standing in as the bartender since Bobby had been fired.
"And they say now, in Paris, France," he said. "Even as we speak, Louis Pasteur has devised a new vaccine that will obliterate anthrax once and for all!"
Outside the saloon, Fred tied his bull up to the hitching post. Warren rode up on a horse.
"Hey!" he shouted at Fred. "You can't park that animal over there! It's illegal!"
Fred said nothing. He just walked up to the horse Warren was sitting on and punched it in the face. Both Warren and the horse collapsed to the ground.
Fred walked inside the saloon as Scott was going on about eradicating diseases.
"Think about it, gentlemen," he said. "Hoof and mouth disease will be a thing of the past!"
"Never mind that!" said Jean. "Here comes Fred!"
Fred pulled the doors off the saloon, and chaos reigned.
X
In the sheriff's office, Forge heard sounds of a panic out in the streets.
"I don't know what it is," he said, looking at Remy.
Suddenly, one of Jamie's clones walked in, serving as another replacement for one of Bobby's parts.
"Sheriff, Fred's back! He's breaking up the whole town! You've got to help us!" said the clone.
"You hear that?" Forge said with a laugh. "Now it's please! This morning I couldn't even get the time of day! Who is this Fred anyway?"
"Fred's not really a who," said Remy. "He's more of a what,"
"What he said," said the Jamie clone.
"Well," Forge said.
"Oh, thank you, sheriff! Thank you, thank you!" the clone began to grovel before Forge could make up his mind. The clone walked over to the door and opened it.
"The fool's going to, er, I mean the sheriff's going to do it!" he shouted out into the street.
Forge laughed as he picked up his holster.
"No, no, don't do dat," Remy warned. "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad,"
Forge paused as he tried to figure out how to stop the rampaging Fred.
X
Inside the saloon, Fred was crushing the patrons behind the piano. The dozen mutants behind the large instrument groaned and struggled but could not overcome Fred's strength. Fred laughed at the patrons' screams.
Forge walked into the saloon, dressed up like a singing telegram. "Candygram for Fred!" he called over the din.
"Candygram for Fred!" he said as he walked over to Fred.
"Me Fred," Fred said, pointing at himself. The patrons quickly scurried out from behind the piano before Fred could squash them some more.
"Sign, please," said Forge and handed Fred a bill.
Fred signed the bill with an X and handed the paper back to Forge.
"Thank you!" said Forge in a very obsequious voice, and turned around and walked out the saloon.
Fred looked at the box. "Fred like candy!" he said, and opened the box. There was a loud BANG as the bomb inside went off.
"And cut!" Jamie said. "Great, people! That was really splendid! We'll beat our deadline in no time!"
"Aaaahhh!!! My wing!" cried Warren as he tried to get out from under the horse. "I think it's broken!"
He pointed at his left wing, which was bent at an awkward angle.
"Just hurry up and put a splint on it or something!" Jamie shouted at him, quite unsympathetic.
"My beautiful feathers!" wailed Warren. "I may never fly again!"
"Of for the love of Mystique!" Jamie muttered, and picked up his cell phone to call an ambulance.
X
The door to the Danger Room opened and the four mutants walked in.
"Finally!" said Jamie. "How did the big climax go, anyway?" he asked them.
"Great!" shouted Rogue and Jean. "Don't ask!" groaned Scott, still feeling nauseous at what had transpired in his final scene of Mutants in Tights.
"Well, get changed and get on the set quick. We've got to get this scene in the can fast!" Jamie urged.
"Can't Remy at least take a little nap first? Saving the day makes Remy tired," Remy said.
"No! Now get changed!"
X
Forge walked through the sunny streets of Bayville. It was a beautiful day out, and there wasn't a hint of trouble anywhere.
He walked past the repaired public showers, and saw Wanda approaching.
"Good morning, ma'am!" Forge greeted her. "Isn't it a lovely morning?"
Wanda glared at Forge. "Up yours, mutie!" she snapped, and walked off.
Maybe it isn't such a beautiful day after all, Forge thought, and walked dejectedly back to his office.
Inside, Remy consoled him.
"What did you expect?" he asked. "Welcome, son? Make yourself at home? Marry my daughter? You gotta remember dat dese are just simple farmers. De're people of de land. De common clay of de new west. You know, morons,"
Forge snickered at this comment. Suddenly, the ground began to shake.
"What the hell is that?" he asked aloud.
Outside, Fred rode into town atop a white bull. The ground shook with each step the bull took.
Roberto caught sight of Fred and panicked. "Santa Maria!" he shouted. "It's Fred!" Terrified, he ran away as fast as he could, but ran into Logan after only three steps.
On a nearby street corner, Ray was hawking wares when he saw Fred. "Holy shit!" he shouted, and the crowd scattered in terror.
Inside the saloon, Scott was talking to Jean and Sam, who was standing in as the bartender since Bobby had been fired.
"And they say now, in Paris, France," he said. "Even as we speak, Louis Pasteur has devised a new vaccine that will obliterate anthrax once and for all!"
Outside the saloon, Fred tied his bull up to the hitching post. Warren rode up on a horse.
"Hey!" he shouted at Fred. "You can't park that animal over there! It's illegal!"
Fred said nothing. He just walked up to the horse Warren was sitting on and punched it in the face. Both Warren and the horse collapsed to the ground.
Fred walked inside the saloon as Scott was going on about eradicating diseases.
"Think about it, gentlemen," he said. "Hoof and mouth disease will be a thing of the past!"
"Never mind that!" said Jean. "Here comes Fred!"
Fred pulled the doors off the saloon, and chaos reigned.
X
In the sheriff's office, Forge heard sounds of a panic out in the streets.
"I don't know what it is," he said, looking at Remy.
Suddenly, one of Jamie's clones walked in, serving as another replacement for one of Bobby's parts.
"Sheriff, Fred's back! He's breaking up the whole town! You've got to help us!" said the clone.
"You hear that?" Forge said with a laugh. "Now it's please! This morning I couldn't even get the time of day! Who is this Fred anyway?"
"Fred's not really a who," said Remy. "He's more of a what,"
"What he said," said the Jamie clone.
"Well," Forge said.
"Oh, thank you, sheriff! Thank you, thank you!" the clone began to grovel before Forge could make up his mind. The clone walked over to the door and opened it.
"The fool's going to, er, I mean the sheriff's going to do it!" he shouted out into the street.
Forge laughed as he picked up his holster.
"No, no, don't do dat," Remy warned. "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad,"
Forge paused as he tried to figure out how to stop the rampaging Fred.
X
Inside the saloon, Fred was crushing the patrons behind the piano. The dozen mutants behind the large instrument groaned and struggled but could not overcome Fred's strength. Fred laughed at the patrons' screams.
Forge walked into the saloon, dressed up like a singing telegram. "Candygram for Fred!" he called over the din.
"Candygram for Fred!" he said as he walked over to Fred.
"Me Fred," Fred said, pointing at himself. The patrons quickly scurried out from behind the piano before Fred could squash them some more.
"Sign, please," said Forge and handed Fred a bill.
Fred signed the bill with an X and handed the paper back to Forge.
"Thank you!" said Forge in a very obsequious voice, and turned around and walked out the saloon.
Fred looked at the box. "Fred like candy!" he said, and opened the box. There was a loud BANG as the bomb inside went off.
"And cut!" Jamie said. "Great, people! That was really splendid! We'll beat our deadline in no time!"
"Aaaahhh!!! My wing!" cried Warren as he tried to get out from under the horse. "I think it's broken!"
He pointed at his left wing, which was bent at an awkward angle.
"Just hurry up and put a splint on it or something!" Jamie shouted at him, quite unsympathetic.
"My beautiful feathers!" wailed Warren. "I may never fly again!"
"Of for the love of Mystique!" Jamie muttered, and picked up his cell phone to call an ambulance.
X
