Pietro sat in a large basin filled with water and soap suds, getting ready for his next scene. Lance gnashed his teeth together as they waited for the cameras to get set up.

"Pietro, I swear if you tell anybody about this scene," Lance said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, don't complain so much, Lance," Pietro said. "Servitude becomes you,"

Lance resisted the urge to flip the tub over and let Pietro drown in it as the cameras started rolling. He started scrubbing Pietro's back.

"Further down, and to the right," Pietro said.

"You know, I thought for sure that Fred would smash him up into tiny little sheriff meatballs," Lance said. "I just don't understand it,"

"Be still, Taggert," said Pietro. "My mind is raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives!"

"Been hitting the cocaine again, Pietro?" Lance asked.

"Yes," Pietro sighed, rolling his eyes and sniffing heavily. His red nose was barely hidden by his make-up.

"The drugs can wait until AFTER this scene!" Jamie said.

"I am NOT saying this next line!" said Lance.

"Say it!" said Jamie. "It's not like it isn't true!"

"Hey, shut up about that!" said Pietro.

Lance sighed and said his next line. "Gee, Mr. Lamar, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty-dollar whore!"

Pietro shuddered, his secret out.

"Shit-kicker," Pietro grumbled. "Wait, that's it! It'll work!"

"Of course it will!" Lance said. "Er, what will work?"

"Elementary, cactus-head! The beast has failed, and when the beast fails, we call in the Beauty! Of course! She's never failed me before. She'll turn him into jelly! She'll bring him to his knees!"

Then his eyes went wide as he noticed something was missing.

"Wait! Where's my froggy?" he asked desperately. "Where's my froggy?"

"I don't know!" said Lance. "I didn't see it when you got in,"

"Well look, damn your eyes, look!" Pietro snapped.

Lance reached down into the tub in search of the toy, and grabbed onto something squishy. The look on Pietro's face indicated that Lance was clearly NOT holding onto Froggy.

"Ech!" Lance shouted as he realized what he had grabbed. He yanked his hand out of the tub and shook off the suds. Thank god I was wearing a glove, he thought.

He looked past Pietro and saw the frog resting on the table. "There it is!" he said.

"Hurry, give it to me!" Pietro cried. Lance handed him the frog and he calmed down.

"That's better," he said squeezing the frog. "Daddy loves Froggy. Does Froggy love daddy?"

The frog squeaked as Pietro squeezed it. "Ribbit, ribbit," Pietro said, sinking down into the tub.

"That's it, this scene's over," said Jamie.

"Finally!" Lance said, and walked off the set.

"Please tell me you're going to cut that scene!" Pietro said, standing up in the tub. "That was absolutely absurd for my character!"

"For once, Pietro, I completely agree with you," said Lance.

"Um, maybe I will cut that scene," said Jamie as the suds started dripping off Pietro's body. Pietro stepped out of the tub, grabbed a towel and went to dry off as the clones cleared the set.

X

In the office, Forge had Fred lashed with chains to the bars of one of the jail cells. Fred was still unconscious from the explosion.

"Remy don't know how you did it," Remy said.

"Oh, he was nothing," said Forge. "The trick was inventing the candy-gram," Indeed, it had been very difficult for Forge to make the bomb, even with his versatile drill.

"Bet they won't give me credit for it," he said. Suddenly, there was a rap at the window.

Forge stood up and pulled the shade open to see Wanda standing outside, holding a pie.

"Evening, sheriff," she said. "Sorry about the 'up yours, mutie'. I hope this apple pie will in some small way say thank you for your ingenuity and courage in stopping that horrible Fred,"

"Well, much obliged," Forge said. "Goodnight," He pulled the shade back down.

Wanda knocked again, and Forge opened the window again.

"Of course, you'll have the decency not to mention that I ever spoke to you," she said, and walked away.

"I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town," Forge said sarcastically.

"Think about it," Remy quipped. "In twenty five years, you'll be able to shake dere hands in de broad daylight,"

"Well, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for it," Forge said.

Remy picked up his coat. "Come on, Remy don't want to be late. Dat Rogue von Shtup is opening tonight,"

"Rogue von Who?" Forge asked.

"Von Shtup," Remy replied. He and Forge walked out of the office and headed for the saloon.

Inside her dressing room at the saloon, Rogue sat at her make-up table in a nightgown. She hummed and sang as she prepared for the show. Her accent was a strange mix of Southern and German. She had a blond wig on her hair to mask her grey streak; she thought the wig made her look fat.

As she sang, there was a knock at her door. "Vilkommen, bienvenue, welcome, come on in," she said. Pietro walked in, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Rogue!" he said.

"Peter!" she replied.

"It's Pietro!" Pietro said, and knelt down and gave her the flowers. "For you!" he said.

"Oh. How ordinary," Rogue said, and tossed the bouquet on the floor.

Pietro was a bit unnerved, but he tried to get on with the scene.

"Oh, Rogue. Rogue, Rogue, Rogue, Rogue," he drooled, ogling Rogue's legs. "I cannot find the words to truly express my joy at the rekindling of our association,"

"Bullshit," Rogue said. "What's the job?"

"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty!"

X

Forge and Remy walked into the saloon and sat down at the table. Backstage, Pietro continued to ogle Rogue while she tried to fend off his prying hands.

"Come on, Lamar, let's get down to brass tacks," she said, her accents merging to produce a half-drawl, half-lisp. "What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"I want you to seduce and abandon the sheriff of Bayville," Pietro said, very business-like. "Do you think you can do it?"

"Is Bismarck a herring?" she asked.

"Oh, Rogue, you're magnificent!"

X

On the stage, the saloon piano went silent as Ray ran out onto the stage. "And now, folks," he said. "That gal you've all been waiting for, the Bavarian bombshell herself, let's hear it for Rogue Von Shtup!"

The crowd cheered as music began to play and Rogue stepped onto the stage, wearing very little.

"He was sent, the goddess of desire, That man on fire, I have this power.

Morning noon and night it's quick romancing, And then some dancing, and then a shower.

Stage-show jollies constantly surround me, They always hound me with one request. Who can satisfy their lustful habit? I'm not a rabbit! I need some rest!

I'm tired! Sick and tired of love! I've had my fill of love, from below and above. Tired, tired of being admired, tired of love uninspired Let's face it, I'm tired!"

"I've been with thousands of men, again and again, They promise the moon.

They're always coming and going and going and coming, But always too soon.

I'm tired. Tired of playing the game. Ain't it a cryin' shame? I'm so tired! God damn it, I'm exhausted!"

Rogue took a break from her song and began to strut around the stage.

"Hello cowboy, what's your name?" she asked a Jamie clone with his feet propped up on the stage.

"Tex, ma'am," said the clone.

"Tex, ma'am?" Rogue asked playfully. "Tell me, Tex ma'am, are you in show business?"

"No," said the clone.

"Then get your friggin' feet of the stage!" she said, and kicked his boots away as the crowd laughed.

She walked over to the other side of the stage and saw another clone in the audience.

"Hello, handsome," she said. "Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"

The crowd laughed again, and suddenly a man in the audience walked up onto the stage and approached Rogue. Rogue kicked him in the groin and he collapsed.

"Tired," she said, resuming her song. "Tired of playing the game.

"Ain't it a cryin' shame? I'm so tired!"

At that moment, the music changed to a snappy ragtime beat, and Amara, Jubilee, Rahne, and Tabby strutted out onto the stage, dressed in German military uniforms and carrying rifles. They began to sing and dance while Rogue sat down in a chair and rested.

"Don't you know she's pooped?" asked Tabby as the four mutants wrapped their part of the act and Rogue stood up.

"I've been with thousands of men, again and again, They always sing the same tune

They start with Byron and Shelly then jump on your belly And bust your ballon! Oy!"

The mutants dressed as soldiers fired off their rifles and the crowd went nuts. They then started marching around the stage as Rogue finished up her song.

"Tired! Tired of playing the game. Ain't it a friggin' shame? I'm so. Let's face it. Everything below the waist is kaput!"

Rogue blew a kiss to the crowd and dropped into the arms of the soldiers, who carried her off the stage as the crowd applauded. They carried her back out and the crowd began firing their guns into the air.

"Cut!" Jamie said, another scene down.

"Ugh, ah feel dirty!" Rogue complained as she walked back on stage. "And this accent you have me doing is messing up my voice! I can't say my 'r's' any more!"

"It'll go away in time," Jamie said. "Give it a few days, and you'll hardly notice,"